What makes you feel better about yourself when you''re down?

[Novel]

I''m having one of those days where clothes don''t feel right, don''t feel pretty, or even funny, etc, and I remembered a thread around here recently where everyone posted their fave thing about their SO''s, so I thought maybe a self esteem building thread would work! Plus, post Thanksgiving and all the food and family time that comes with it, I''m sure I''m not the only one around here who could use a little reminder!

So, no modesty here, whats your favorite thing about yourself? When you feel down, what reminds you that you''re not so bad after all or gives you that little lift? Do you love your hair or your wit, is it the way SO looks at you, is it how you do your job (at home or in an office), or the fact that no one around you has quite as awesome bling?

Pretend you''re in one of those Dove commercials! For my sake, if nothing else!

 

[trillionaire]

My dog loves me just as I am, so that makes me feel pretty great. FI too...

 

[monarch64]

I''m pretty in love with myself. Can''t pick just one thing. Of course I have my days when I don''t feel like I look my best or am the sharpest tool in the shed, and when I notice I''m feeling sub-par I do think about the things I like about myself. Mostly personality traits, or skills/abilities.

Btw, I didn''t always feel so great about myself. But one day I decided to take control of those feelings and do something about some of the circumstances that were causing me to get really down on myself.

That sort of empowerment in itself was quite the esteem-booster.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 12/1/2009 11:04:58 AM
Author: trillionaire
My dog loves me just as I am, so that makes me feel pretty great. FI too...

I have to agree. My dogs always make me feel better, they''re always happy to see me and playing with them lifts my mood. Works every time!

As far as physically, I do try to remind myself that I''ve got some qualities some women would kill for (nice hair, small waist, etc). I''m obviously not perfect

but everyone has something someone else would be envious of (hope that made sense).

Just remember, it could always be worse!!!

 

[asscherisme]

Date: 12/1/2009 10:57:12 AM
Author:Novel
I''m having one of those days where clothes don''t feel right, don''t feel pretty, or even funny, etc, and I remembered a thread around here recently where everyone posted their fave thing about their SO''s, so I thought maybe a self esteem building thread would work! Plus, post Thanksgiving and all the food and family time that comes with it, I''m sure I''m not the only one around here who could use a little reminder!

So, no modesty here, whats your favorite thing about yourself? When you feel down, what reminds you that you''re not so bad after all or gives you that little lift? Do you love your hair or your wit, is it the way SO looks at you, is it how you do your job (at home or in an office), or the fact that no one around you has quite as awesome bling?

Pretend you''re in one of those Dove commercials! For my sake, if nothing else!

My kids. They tell me all the time how wondeful they think I am. Sometimes I even believe them

 

[radiantquest]

When I have a down mood, but can''t pinpoint what it is I usually do a little shopping. It doesn''t have to be expensive. Even if I just go buy a book or something I usually feel better.

When I feel that I look ugly that day or something I just remember that my husband loves me so much and that even if my make up isn''t quite right or I am having a bad hair day he still thinks that I am beautiful and his opinion is really the only one that matters to me. He thinks I am gorgeous first thing in the morning with a peacock hairdo, bad breath, frumping around in my pink robe.

 

[D&T]

Awww Novel... are you feeling a bit down?

If you are.... Here is a big CYBER *Hug* from me

when I feel down, all I got to do is put on some jewelry or my boots,,, and my four year old DD... always comments how pretty my boots or how much she loves my jewelry... plus getting hugs and kisses makes me feel soo much better... and it doesn't hurt to aquire a new piece of gem/jewelry/shoes/or bags

 

[y2kitty]

This is an honest answer that might offend, and I''m sorry if it does. I watch the tv show "Intervention" and then I realize that no matter what my problem is, at least I am not battling a drug or alcohol addiction on top of it.

 

[elrohwen]

Spending time with animals always makes me feel better. My bunny will run and jump just because he''s so joyful! It''s fantastic and always makes me laugh and makes me feel a little more joy about my life.

 

[Novel]

You guys are the best.

Trillionaire and Lilyfoot, you''re totally right. My cat loves me and my mom''s dog wiggles every time she sees me. None of the other stuff matters to them. Though they do get upset if I don''t feed them... And yes, everyone has something, it could definitely by worse!

Monarch, thats awesome that you feel that way. Some days, I do too. Taking control, even just the act of it, is so empowering.

Asscherisme, thats how I feel about the stuff BF says!

Radiant, shopping definitely helps! Unless you end up with spinels you feel bad returning, as just happened to me. Sigh.

Aw, D&T, thanks. Just stuff getting to be a little too much, you know? Hugs are the best, though. Whether cyber or from cute DD.

y2kitty, I know what you mean! Its another version of "it could always be worse!" When I''m overwhelmed by my medical situation, I think about all the people I know who are dealing with significantly worse or less livable conditions, and it helps!

I think "getting awesome responses from people who''ve never even met me and care enough to chime in" would be one of mine.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

usually i remind myself how pretty my eyes are, no matter how my hair looks or if i feel fat, my eyes are always the same gorgeous shade of blue/green! My hair stylist even commented on them the other day

I too will admit to watching intervention and on more than a few occasions the shows about people who are 650 lbs, i am pretty terrible....and on a couple of those occasions eating ben n jerrys while watching

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Usually I just watch a chick flick if I''m done.

Right now PS is perking me up a bit as my grandfather died last night and I''m kind of not wanting to think about it and all the relative phone calls, etc. It''s weird how upbeat everyone here suddenly sounds when discussing silly things like 10.8 ct. pink diamonds.

 

[Novel]

Date: 12/1/2009 11:52:20 AM
Author: MC
Usually I just watch a chick flick if I''m done.


Right now PS is perking me up a bit as my grandfather died last night and I''m kind of not wanting to think about it and all the relative phone calls, etc. It''s weird how upbeat everyone here suddenly sounds when discussing silly things like 10.8 ct. pink diamonds.

Oh, MC, I''m so sorry about your grandfather. I''d imagine more of us use this as a distraction than one would think. Its easy to have fun with when you need it... Hugs to you.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/1/2009 11:56:16 AM
Author: Novel

Date: 12/1/2009 11:52:20 AM
Author: MC
Usually I just watch a chick flick if I''m done.


Right now PS is perking me up a bit as my grandfather died last night and I''m kind of not wanting to think about it and all the relative phone calls, etc. It''s weird how upbeat everyone here suddenly sounds when discussing silly things like 10.8 ct. pink diamonds.

Oh, MC, I''m so sorry about your grandfather. I''d imagine more of us use this as a distraction than one would think. Its easy to have fun with when you need it... Hugs to you.

Yeah, it is. I''m just not sure if this is healthy or not. My kids were sent off to school and I''m still in my PJs because we stayed up so late last night. Gotta get stuff done and I feel so superficial going to TRU today to get legos while they''re buy one get one 1/2 off. Kind of feel like life is one big joke!

 

[Novel]

Date: 12/1/2009 12:01:12 PM
Author: MC

Date: 12/1/2009 11:56:16 AM

Author: Novel

Date: 12/1/2009 11:52:20 AM

Author: MC

Usually I just watch a chick flick if I''m done.

Right now PS is perking me up a bit as my grandfather died last night and I''m kind of not wanting to think about it and all the relative phone calls, etc. It''s weird how upbeat everyone here suddenly sounds when discussing silly things like 10.8 ct. pink diamonds.

Oh, MC, I''m so sorry about your grandfather. I''d imagine more of us use this as a distraction than one would think. Its easy to have fun with when you need it... Hugs to you.

Yeah, it is. I''m just not sure if this is healthy or not. My kids were sent off to school and I''m still in my PJs because we stayed up so late last night. Gotta get stuff done and I feel so superficial going to TRU today to get legos while they''re buy one get one 1/2 off. Kind of feel like life is one big joke!

I know, I often feel the same way. I work with survivors of genocide and sometimes when I''m at my desk PS lurking, I don''t really know how I can be thinking about these things in the same breath, you know? The thing I''ve come up with is that its ok to need a reprieve, to know that life goes on. My grandmother is a Holocaust survivor and she always tells me that our lives, despite all the ugliness and the tragedy, shouldn''t be about sadness. If you can get out and get the legos, since you know they''re something that would help at bogo, and it won''t actually hurt or feel like a betrayal to do it, then do it, you know? The little silly things, they''ll make a child smile, and after a loss, that is one of the best things we have.

 

[Shoopy]

This may sound silly but what gets me through the day when I feel this way is just accepting that not all days are going to be great, I''m not the first person to have a bad day and I certainly won''t be the last. So if I''m having a bad hair day, it''s ok. It was windy out and tomorrow it''ll be better. If my clothes don''t fit right, that''s ok too. I''ll just stay seated as much as possible and then retire the clothing when I get home. It just is what it is.

Also, having a baby that loves you unconditionally helps out a lot too. But I think applying some extra lip gloss and tossing your hair in a pony tail may be easier

 

[vc10um]

I love my eyes...they change from steel blue to blue-green...and I love SO''s eyes (they''re 4 different rings of color!!!) and the way he always seems to look at me like I''m the most beautiful thing in the world...even if I feel like crap.

 

[movie zombie]

putting my hands in the soil....gardening, repotting a plant, watering my plants....all ground me, calm me, and are a meditative experience for me: in other words, my mind empties the chatter and i become one with myself. for a quick fix i find my cats to be all accepting and just a pleasure to sit with, nap with, etc.

mz

ps i think just doing something...even cleaning house or a closet....and seeiing the results puts everything back into perspective.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/1/2009 12:09:48 PM
Author: Novel

Date: 12/1/2009 12:01:12 PM
Author: MC
Yeah, it is. I'm just not sure if this is healthy or not. My kids were sent off to school and I'm still in my PJs because we stayed up so late last night. Gotta get stuff done and I feel so superficial going to TRU today to get legos while they're buy one get one 1/2 off. Kind of feel like life is one big joke!

I know, I often feel the same way. I work with survivors of genocide and sometimes when I'm at my desk PS lurking, I don't really know how I can be thinking about these things in the same breath, you know? The thing I've come up with is that its ok to need a reprieve, to know that life goes on. My grandmother is a Holocaust survivor and she always tells me that our lives, despite all the ugliness and the tragedy, shouldn't be about sadness. If you can get out and get the legos, since you know they're something that would help at bogo, and it won't actually hurt or feel like a betrayal to do it, then do it, you know? The little silly things, they'll make a child smile, and after a loss, that is one of the best things we have.

Maybe the elderly have a better perspective of enjoying life while you can, especially those who've been victims of war or illness. Glad your grandmother made it through the war. My grandmother (on the other side of the family) fled and left everything behind and luckily made it out alive.

Sounds like you have a very grounding job, which can be tough at times.

Hope you feel better today!!! Can you get a pedicure or something after work? That may do the trick for you!

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/1/2009 12:10:18 PM
Author: fiery
This may sound silly but what gets me through the day when I feel this way is just accepting that not all days are going to be great, I''m not the first person to have a bad day and I certainly won''t be the last. So if I''m having a bad hair day, it''s ok. It was windy out and tomorrow it''ll be better. If my clothes don''t fit right, that''s ok too. I''ll just stay seated as much as possible and then retire the clothing when I get home. It just is what it is.

Also, having a baby that loves you unconditionally helps out a lot too. But I think applying some extra lip gloss and tossing your hair in a pony tail may be easier

This is a fantastic philosophy and one I employ often. It can always be worse, and it will always get better. It''s just life.

 

[oddoneout]

Date: 12/1/2009 11:52:20 AM
Author: MC
Usually I just watch a chick flick if I''m done.


Right now PS is perking me up a bit as my grandfather died last night and I''m kind of not wanting to think about it and all the relative phone calls, etc. It''s weird how upbeat everyone here suddenly sounds when discussing silly things like 10.8 ct. pink diamonds.

I''m sorry to hear about your grandfather.

 

[Burberrygirl]

Date: 12/1/2009 12:30:02 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 12/1/2009 12:10:18 PM
Author: fiery
This may sound silly but what gets me through the day when I feel this way is just accepting that not all days are going to be great, I''m not the first person to have a bad day and I certainly won''t be the last. So if I''m having a bad hair day, it''s ok. It was windy out and tomorrow it''ll be better. If my clothes don''t fit right, that''s ok too. I''ll just stay seated as much as possible and then retire the clothing when I get home. It just is what it is.

Also, having a baby that loves you unconditionally helps out a lot too. But I think applying some extra lip gloss and tossing your hair in a pony tail may be easier

This is a fantastic philosophy and one I employ often. It can always be worse, and it will always get better. It''s just life.

I completely agree with you both. I often think this way and for me it help tremendously.. having a cute puppy who always wants to snuggle helps too

 

[oddoneout]

I just remind myself to not care about all the negative things (especially things I can''t control). I try to live in the present too and not worry about the future.

 

[Todd Gray]

Hi Novel,

This is a subject that I''m all too familiar with due to the beat down I received from my late wife''s family over the past few years... There are many, many days when I question huge parts of ''my life'' and ''my reality'' post lawsuit (they went after all assets of the marriage, company, etc)

There are two things that gets me through many days of the post-lawsuit recovery process, the first is I take out a pad of paper and a pen and I literally start writing down everything that I am grateful for to remind myself that I still have more than I lost and that things aren''t as important as what I''ve learned, etc.

The second is I cancel out negative self-talk by simply repeating the words "no, no, no, no, no..." in my head (and yea, sometimes out loud!) until that''s all I can hear inside my head. A friend of mine who wrote a book on the Toltec I-Ching taught me this trick, basically we can''t consciously think of two things at once and no, no, no, occupies enough space to cancel the negative self-talk out.

And yea, our Bengal kitten "Me-Me" is always happy to lend a purring hand

 

[Circe]

It sort of depends on how down I am, if that makes sense. If we''re talking full-out grief ... generally, just reminding myself over and over and over again that this, too, shall pass. Enjoying completely animal pleasures - the taste of wine or chocolate, the feel of the sun on my skin. Just taking things one step at a time.

If we''re talking about low self-esteem days ... I totally vote for going all out! If your clothes fit funny, put on your most outrageous outfit. Gussy yourself up to the nines. Wear the jewelry you admire most in the abstract (you still think *it* is pretty, right?), and the pieces that remind you of loved ones and good times, as talismans. Basically, fake it till you make it. It is hard to feel grim if you''re wearing peacock velvet and gold bangles, I tell you!

And, as for favorite things about myself ... I have great hands, elegant feet, and a rack that the prows of most ships would envy. I like my mobile mouth and my thick eyebrows and my cleft chin. I like making lists like this! Now, and in general: it''s like a litany against self-hate. Novel - what do *you* like most about *your* self?

 

[packrat]

I''m sorry you''re having an off day Novel! I''m sorry about your Grampa MC-it''s so hard to lose someone you love and the every day parts of life just seem not quite right afterwards.

My kids are lovey, so one of them is always running in for a hug and kiss, and that makes me feel good. They love to snuggle. Sometimes I''ll take a book outside and sit and read, if the weather is nice. The fresh air is relaxing, and we''ve put a lot of work into making the backyard look beautiful, so that makes me feel good, to look at it and enjoy it. I might go on a cleaning/organizing binge, or get out the Wii fit and play a little, to keep busy and get energized.

Sometimes I crawl up in JD''s lap like a little kid and we snuggle. I just tell him, "I''m sad today" and we''ll talk about it, and then the conversation gets changed to something nice w/out me realizing it and pretty soon I''m ok. Sometimes I make him tell me the stories about why he never asked me out when we first met and how he spent years liking me w/out my knowing it..it makes me feel good to hear, like some great beauty that he was pining for!

Or, sometimes I just get in a mood and listen to sad country songs on youtube while I work in the kitchen. I don''t even like country. But some of those songs just make me bawl. Sounds dumb, but it''s cathartic for me.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 12/1/2009 10:57:12 AM
Author:Novel
I''m having one of those days where clothes don''t feel right, don''t feel pretty, or even funny, etc, and I remembered a thread around here recently where everyone posted their fave thing about their SO''s, so I thought maybe a self esteem building thread would work! Plus, post Thanksgiving and all the food and family time that comes with it, I''m sure I''m not the only one around here who could use a little reminder!

So, no modesty here, whats your favorite thing about yourself? When you feel down, what reminds you that you''re not so bad after all or gives you that little lift? Do you love your hair or your wit, is it the way SO looks at you, is it how you do your job (at home or in an office), or the fact that no one around you has quite as awesome bling?

Pretend you''re in one of those Dove commercials! For my sake, if nothing else!

Well, I . . . wait, what was the question? There are so many up there.

What do I like about myself? Sense of humor. Sense of irony. Sense, as in common.

What do I do to lift myself out of a funk? Listen to music, immerse myself in a good book or classic movie, spend time w/ friends or DH. Sometimes indulge in retail therapy.

What do I do if I hate my look? Wash my hair, redo my makeup, put on my favorite clothes. In other words, slap some lipstick on this pig.

What am I thankful for? Everything the good Lord has seen fit to give me. It''s a long list. By the time I remember each and every thing and say thanks, I realize just how fortunate I am. Nothing stops the whining any faster than that.

And if all else fails, I pull the covers over my head. And start fresh tomorrow.

 

[soocool]

I always find that I feel so much better after a good cry. When I begin to get down, I start to cry as I am putting on my running shoes and then head outside (rain or shine) and just run. Soon afterwards I find that I have cleared my head and then I get into the shower and just wash all those bad feelings down the drain.

 

[Haven]

This reminds me of a game we used to play at sleepover camp called "I LOVE MY BODY!"

Once during the summer, we'd go around the tent at night right before bed, and each girl shared one thing that she loved about her body. We had to be honest, and we couldn't pass and say nothing. Then, when everyone had shared at least one thing we all screamed, together and as loud as we could: "I LOVE MY BODY!" It was pitch dark in the tent, and we were all lying in our own bunks, so it felt safe to be very honest, and we knew that we wouldn't be accused of bragging for sharing.

It was fun because all of the other tents (boys and girls) could hear our collective yawp. And, whenever we heard another tent screaming it, it would instantly put us in a good mood remembering what a positive time it was when we got to play the game. I went to that camp for eight years, and I'm serious when I tell you that I think that little game really did have a lot of positive, lasting effects on my self-image.

If you have a youngish daughter, try it at her next sleepover.

Anyway . . . to answer the question:

- My favorite thing about myself is that people are always laughing at me, even when I'm not trying to be funny. It used to bother me, but I've since learned that it isn't because they are laughing *at* me in a bad way, it's because I'm just plain weird, and I'm weird in a way that makes others giggle. I like that. DH calls me "quirky", my mom calls me a lunatic. My sister is the only one who consistently understands me. I like it that way.

- As for the physical, I like my nose. It's a little bit too long, there's a small bump right in the middle, and it turns up a bit more than most would like, but it looks just like my grandma Helga's, and I'm proud to have it.

I'm sorry if you're feeling down, Novel. Great thread idea.

MC, I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[decodelighted]

There''s always this