what is it with men using and not replacing?

[radiantquest]

i dont know about your DHs, but mine has a habit of using the last of something and not replacing it. i am not asking for him to go all the way to the store to get. just the cupboard! for instance. he will use the last square of toilet paper and then not get another roll out of the closet. this is bothersome to me because it seems that he does this right before he goes to bed and then when i get up in the morning and have to go, badly, i sit, do my business and then i am stuck. urrgghh. another offense that he is famous for is taking out the trash (im glad he takes it out) but he doesnt put another bag in. so i am holding the yuck in the strainer that keeps chunks from going down the kitchen sink. you know, you have it in your hand and your holding the other hand under it so that it doesnt drip on the floor, you walk to the trash can and uuurrrgghhh theres no bag!! the reason for this rant is because he has sabotaged me yet again. we went to the store the other day and i got smoothie mix and bananas. today he asks me when i am going to make them, so i say now. i get the blender out peel the banana open the mix and.....he has used the last ice cube and put the empty tray back in the freezer. what is that??? do your SOs men or women do this to you?

 

[atroop711]

my husband does the same thing...god forbid if he would replace the TP. Oh the best is when he leaves a drop of juice in the carton. Why not just throw it out?

 

[strmrdr]

storm pleads guilty except for the tp I always replace it.

 

[Lilac]

My husband is pretty good with this stuff usually, except the thing that drives me NUTS is he leaves literally one square of toilet paper on the roll and then when I ask why he didn''t replace it because I needed it, he says, "Well I left some on there so really you were the one to finish it!" AHH that drives me crazy

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I hear ya sister! My DH is the same way.

 

[mrscushion]

FI is not guilty of this type of thing at all, so there are exceptions... guess I got lucky on that one.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Me and BF do not live together, so the TP thing is fine. For me, it is finishing a staple food when I am at work and not telling me. Nothing is worse than discovering there is no milk for my cereal at breakfast time.

 

[pinkstars]

BF does that kind of stuff all of the time! He''s a master of using all of something and then putting it back in the fridge or cabinet, it drives me crazy and I don''t know how to get him to stop!

I think it comes from his mom always being able to clean up after him and so he just didn''t notice empty containers, but man do I notice. He''s pretty good about replacing tp though.

 

[blackpolkadot]

I know what you mean! I try to overlook it, but sometimes it''s so annoying!

 

[DiamondFlame]

I guess I'm one of the higher evolved guys. I used to stay with a bunch of other guys and it drove me nuts to find juice cartons with only drops remaining in the fridge. Empty ice trays get me everytime too. So I can definitely empathise with you ladies. Nxt time try leaving one piece of TP for them, see how they like it.

 

[geckodani]

Hee hee. I''m actually the one that forgets to replace the toilet paper roll!

He does run out of things and not tell me, and then uses mine. Like running out of shampoo and using my salon stuff (one of my few splurges). I was like, "Dude. That''s $20 a bottle shampoo. Warn me when you''re running out." LOL Or better yet, go get the bottle from the other bathroom!

 

[LadyBlue]

My Dh is actually very very considerate

. I''m the one that drives him crazy, sometimes I can be messy

 

[monarch64]

I have always been guilty of something similar but I think equally annoying: leaving just a tiny bit of something and not finishing it off or replacing. Like milk, for example, I''ll leave like a quarter inch in the carton instead of throwing it out or using it. Same with other food items or lotion or things like that. I don''t do it intentionally.

Radiantquest, I honestly doubt that your husband is trying to "sabotage" you or is conspiring to make your life hell. Sometimes people just have what you consider bad habits and when they don''t step up and break those bad habits just because you ask them to, you tend to take it personally. (Yes, I used to go through things like this with my ex.) Try to focus on all the good things he does and use the power of praise/positive reinforcement. Maybe that will make him want to remember to replace the trash bag or whatever else he uses and doesn''t replenish.

 

[KimberlyH]

I don''t think men have the corner on this market, some people are more forgetful than others. My sister is this way; she doesn''t mean to be (or maybe she does?!) but it''s just her and it''s not worth any of us getting worked up over as she isn''t going to change.

I''m definitely the messy one in our marriage. I leave shoes everywhere, I forget to take clothes out of the dryer, etc. My habits are not meant to sabotage my husband, and thank goodness he finds it amusing rather than frustrating.

 

[elrohwen]

I'm much more guilty of using the TP and not replacing it than FI is

I'll replace it if there's another roll nearby in the closet, but I usually don't if I have to go down to the basement to get it. I'm lazy! Haha. FI is very kind and replaces them without ever telling me how lazy I am about it

He does take the trash out without putting in a new bag, but since I always put in the new bag, it's kind of like my job now. He actually yells at me if the bag hasn't been replaced

 

[jewelerman]

Date: 6/30/2009 9:43:15 AM
Author: KimberlyH
I don''t think men have the corner on this market, some people are more forgetful than others. My sister is this way; she doesn''t mean to be (or maybe she does?!) but it''s just her and it''s not worth any of us getting worked up over as she isn''t going to change.

I''m definitely the messy one in our marriage. I leave shoes everywhere, I forget to take clothes out of the dryer, etc. My habits are not meant to sabotage my husband, and thank goodness he finds it amusing rather than frustrating.

Do you tell him to replace it instead of doing it for him?when you find a problem grab him and tell him to replace it.Why do some thing when you have a built in maid to do it for you.Many men were not taught to pick up after themselfs because they had mothers that did all of that for them.Get him out of bed or the shower to put the toilet paper back or dont replace the liner in the garbage and when he dumps the trash and he will get the message.BTW...Im the one in the house who dumps the trash And replaces the liner every time.

 

[packrat]

JD doesn''t replace the roll either. If he goes in to blow his nose and uses the last bit, he''ll get a new roll down if he needs more and leave it on the counter. If he''s used the last and doesn''t need more, then, no extra roll..and it''s really irritating to sit down and be like aw jeeeeez no paper. He does however, put the seat down, for which I''m eternally grateful. And I''ve got him trained to refill the ice cube tray now.

 

[jas]

This reminds me of a funny bit from Mad About You. Jamie came out, silently, with a roll of TP in one hand, and the TP holder with an empty roll on it in the other. Very deliberately in front of Paul, she changed the TP roll and said, "Viola!" to Paul very sarcastically.

Loses something in the translation, but I never forgot that.

My DH has a wonderful habit of sensing the exact second I clean the kitchen to use it as a dumping ground for the mail. And his phone. And his hat. And for some reason, he likes to "air" his shirts out before hanging them up, so he hangs them in the kitchen. And never puts them away.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

FI never refills the TP, but I know it''s because he feels that as the 90% user of TP (lets face it, men use it significantly less often than we do) it should be my task. One thing that drives me batty about FI is he always leaves the cabinet doors open!!! Drives me ape$hit! Then again, I often don''t put caps back on all the way

 

[mausketeer]

Date: 6/30/2009 12:01:00 PM
Author: packrat
JD doesn''t replace the roll either. If he goes in to blow his nose and uses the last bit, he''ll get a new roll down if he needs more and leave it on the counter. If he''s used the last and doesn''t need more, then, no extra roll..and it''s really irritating to sit down and be like aw jeeeeez no paper. He does however, put the seat down, for which I''m eternally grateful. And I''ve got him trained to refill the ice cube tray now.

It''s interesting, my (recent) ex-boyfriend was GREAT about putting the toilet seat down..... up UNTIL about the last two months of our relationship! Then all of a sudden something happened to his "memory" and out of the blue - the toilet seat starting staying up all the time! Huh, isn''t that weird????? He forgot maybe, 3 times in the first 4 YEARS we were together, but then like, TEN times in the last month (and ALWAYS when I''d go AT NIGHT!!!!!!). COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!!!!

I honestly think these little "forgetfulness" things are probably passive aggressive too (even if the guy doesn''t realize it himself)....... I know, I know, the guys on here are going to say "no, no, no - that''s not it". Women generally seem to be a bit more direct when they''re annoyed about something - they''ll just SAY it. Men will "forget" to change the toilet paper........ Well, that and they know that the woman will take care of it for them........why bother?

 

[radiantquest]

Date: 6/30/2009 9:36:10 AM
Author: monarch64
I have always been guilty of something similar but I think equally annoying: leaving just a tiny bit of something and not finishing it off or replacing. Like milk, for example, I''ll leave like a quarter inch in the carton instead of throwing it out or using it. Same with other food items or lotion or things like that. I don''t do it intentionally.

Radiantquest, I honestly doubt that your husband is trying to ''sabotage'' you or is conspiring to make your life hell. Sometimes people just have what you consider bad habits and when they don''t step up and break those bad habits just because you ask them to, you tend to take it personally. (Yes, I used to go through things like this with my ex.) Try to focus on all the good things he does and use the power of praise/positive reinforcement. Maybe that will make him want to remember to replace the trash bag or whatever else he uses and doesn''t replenish.

oh i know that he is not doing them on purpose it just feels like sabotage sometimes. i never yell at him about it and it really doesnt make me angry, i mean, i can replace the tp too. its just one of those things that it seems like men never really grasp. i was more being funny than anything. i love him dearly and he does A LOT for me and i appreciate it all.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Date: 6/29/2009 11:36:05 PM
Author: pinkstars
BF does that kind of stuff all of the time! He''s a master of using all of something and then putting it back in the fridge or cabinet, it drives me crazy and I don''t know how to get him to stop!


I think it comes from his mom always being able to clean up after him and so he just didn''t notice empty containers, but man do I notice. He''s pretty good about replacing tp though.

HaHaHa!!!! I wonder if he got used to his mom doing everything too, because his place is a mess and he cannot cook. We used to go out a lot, but since he lost his job we had to scale back. Well, I work 60-80 hrs a week and do not want to come home and cook every night. So I cut a deal with him. I am in charge of dinner 2 nights a week and he is in-charge 2 nights a week (we usually see each other about 4 days a week so that works). Well, lately, him being in charge of dinner has been pulling whatever is in the fridge, and asking me how to cook it, without reading the directions on the package. Or he just asks me to cook it for him. Once I get him to read the directions he gets it. I have not told him to start pretending like I am not there.

In all fairness, he does wash the dishes when I cook, that is really helpful.

 

[phoenixgirl]

I think my DH just uses less so that I will be the last one to use something. And he usually leaves the last yoghurt/cookie/whatever for me. So I appreciate that.

What I don''t understand/can''t stand is the way he must pile his belongings here and there and never put them away. His last apartment before living with me, he would never ever take the clothes out of the laundry baskets; he would just live out of the laundry baskets until they were empty and then do the laundry again. And if he returns home from a trip, he will often just leave his suitcase on the bedroom floor (but he is getting the hint as the last time I fake cried and asked, "Are you going to leave me? No? Then why are you living out of a suitcase?"). Piles of magazines, piles of receipts, piles of every movie ticket and concert and baseball game stub . . . piles, piles, piles . . . Now that it''s summer and I''m off from teaching I''ve just resigned myself to depiling his stuff myself. I did find a missing pillow case in his pile of clothes that were too dirty to keep in the drawers yet too clean to wash after I finally deconstructed the darn thing a good month after it had taken shape on the floor . . . now this pile lives in the closet where it belongs. Since he doesn''t seem to like to sully his closet, he seems to be keeping it at a minimum.

In the interest of not being a hypocrite, I must confess that I am a bedside table/kitchen drawer junk stuffer-inner. That''s where I put the crap that DH would pile. I think in his mind, he is keeping the crap where he can see it so that some glorious day when he actually puts it away, he''ll be organized and not keep stuff he doesn''t need. But to my mind, if we must keep the stupid movie ticket, at least let''s keep it out of sight!