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Were you and your SO ready for each other?

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I also met FI online. Our first "date" was two hours, he asked for my id because he said I looked young, I didn't like his hair and WHY the heck would a guy wear shorts and flipflops when it's 30-40 degrees outside?

2nd date was just like the first- it was a whole two hours long, he said he had to go and I was left with
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3rd date, we saw a movie, and then he was just like, "Ok bye!" I had enough of that and called him up and said, "REALLY???? You aren't going to invite me over??"

The rest is basically history!!....

He asked me out a billion times in the next 2 weeks and I was like, "Ok buddy, I just met you..." He was ready, I was ready, but It went from 0-60 pretty quick.

Aw I'm so tired I hope my posts are making sense today.

ETA I was 22 and he was 27
 
Date: 12/16/2009 6:21:21 PM
Author: TravelingGal
He was an Aussie and I was American. He was supposed to be a one night stand.


Whoops.

Our neighbor always says her husband was a "one night stand gone wrong . . . or right."
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I was definitely not ready at first, but he sure was! We had met at a party about a year before we started dating and I barely remembered him, but he apparently had a huge crush on me from the moment he met me.

I like to joke that he stalked me for a year and a half until he finally hunted me down on Friendster. He knew where I lived because his good friend was my next door neighbor, so he apparently would go to his friend''s house hoping to see me. And one time I walked to a convenience store/gas station with my friend and a guy was vacuuming his car out and staring so hard at me that I actually said to my friend "What the *beep* is that guy looking at?" Yep, it was my stalker husband staring at me!

He came on strong and was constantly asking me out and wanting to hang out. I clearly remember telling my twin sister and my mom that he liked me too much and that I didn''t want to date him! They both told me that he was a super nice guy and I should give him a chance, so I did...and the rest is history! We''ve been together for almost 7 years!
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Awesome topic!!

Neither one of us was ready!!

We met when I was a freshman in college, he was a sophomore and we were both up too late one night playing Yahoo! Pool and putting off doing our school projects (no, seriously!).

I had just moved back to my hometown in southern MO and out of an apartment in Birmingham, AL that I had shared with my ex bf. We were trying to make things work long distance (I should''ve seen that they weren''t working when we lived together but I was 18...) Andrew lived just outside D.C. and was very shy. We were complete opposites but we talked online for two and a half years before we decided to meet in person and see if we clicked. During the two and a half years we listened to each other and counseled each other (I was dating and encountering soooo many creeps! He lost 70 lbs and gained some confidence and perspective).

I think the friendship before the relationship established a really great supportive foundation that we still rely on. We''re still really great friends and we make a great team. I can''t wait to marry him in a few months!
 
Date: 12/16/2009 1:39:37 PM
Author:joflier
When you 1st met? Was one of you interested, and the other not? Were you both ready for a relationship, or did one of you have to wait for the other?
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We were both interested, we were both ready, and there was no waiting. And it was a match made in Hades. >;-) On that, we both agreed. In retrospect, it''s better to spend some time thinking things over beforehand. No more whirlwind courtships for me, thanks.
 
oh I dunno - I doubt we were ready... we were so young - he was barely 18 and I was barely 20 but we fell so passionately in love that was deepened so much by the fact we''d known each other and loved each other (like family) for 15 years.. I never felt like I really had a choice (I don''t mean that in a negative way) but in spite of the caution our age inspired we couldn''t help but throw it to the wind... so I guess we were ready. We were both definitely on the same page every step, but I know neither of us ever expected to have that sort of a start on adulthood.
 
Date: 12/16/2009 1:57:54 PM
Author: jjc
o wow, this thread is so apropos for me right now - my FI (!) just proposed yesterday with a book illustrated with pictures telling our ''legend'' (the version of our story that my mom tells everyone
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)


we met when i was 12 and he was 14 (1993) and became bf/gf...and then i dumped him 2 weeks later because i was semi-annoyed with him calling me and wanting to talk/hang out so much (what can i say? i was 12!)

he claims that he never forgot about me, and he found me again in 2003 and we became instant best friends again. he said he started to develop marriage level feelings in about 2 months, and he professed this several times during the next 5-ish years, but i was not having it - i was scared of possibly losing the friendship if things didn''t work out, and i just didn''t see him that way.


well...it took me a good 5-6 years to finally be ready (or 15 years, depends on who you ask
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), but thank goodness i finally came to my senses! he''s just the amazing person in the world and i''m so insanely blessed
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yeah it took a lot of tequila to get me into that first kiss (I kinda thought it was gross, I''d known him so long) but boy once our lips met it was on fire and things rapidly progressed
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Date: 12/16/2009 1:57:54 PM
Author: jjc
o wow, this thread is so apropos for me right now - my FI (!) just proposed yesterday with a book illustrated with pictures telling our ''legend'' (the version of our story that my mom tells everyone
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)


we met when i was 12 and he was 14 (1993) and became bf/gf...and then i dumped him 2 weeks later because i was semi-annoyed with him calling me and wanting to talk/hang out so much (what can i say? i was 12!)

he claims that he never forgot about me, and he found me again in 2003 and we became instant best friends again. he said he started to develop marriage level feelings in about 2 months, and he professed this several times during the next 5-ish years, but i was not having it - i was scared of possibly losing the friendship if things didn''t work out, and i just didn''t see him that way.


well...it took me a good 5-6 years to finally be ready (or 15 years, depends on who you ask
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), but thank goodness i finally came to my senses! he''s just the amazing person in the world and i''m so insanely blessed
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yeah it took a lot of tequila to get me into that first kiss (I kinda thought it was gross, I''d known him so long) but boy once our lips met it was on fire and things rapidly progressed
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*gush* how cute, all these stories!

We had met 5 years prior, working for the same company. I got the scoop on him (in a comitted relationship) so i put him on the back burner, so to speak. After a couple years of me dating around, and him still in his relationship, it started to go sour for him. I think i waited about 6 months while his girlfriend couldn''t make up her mind if she wanted to be in a relationship or not. Fortunately He had enough sense to call it off all together.
Then, after a couple weekends hanging out, we finally *ahem* hooked up and it moved pretty fast from there!

I do remember telling him though, after about 6 months of dating, "if you don''t think this is going anywhere let me know now. I don''t want to waste time/emotion on someone i can''t have".
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fortunately he looked past that remark!!
 
Perfect timing. I had just gotten out of a relationship a few months prior and I had been a wild single girl for awhile. I had my fun, but I was starting to wind down and looking for something a little more meaningful. He had been single for 5 years, and had been avoiding getting serious with anyone. But right before he met me he said he had been telling his best friend he really wished he could meet the right girl.

We both fell fast and agreed if we had met much earlier it wouldn''t have worked out.
 
After the first time DH and I kissed, he told me he didn''t want a relationship (how''s that for playing hard to get??). He was at my university for a summer internship and was returning to his college (4 hours away) in a month. Being ridiculously practical, he thought it would be a bad idea to start a relationship from a logistics standpoint.

Thankfully, I am not a realistic person. I''d been pursuing him all summer, and I knew he was the one from day one. He called me his girlfriend about a week later.
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After the first time DH and I kissed, he told me he didn''t want a relationship (how''s that for playing hard to get??). He was at my university for a summer internship and was returning to his college (4 hours away) in a month. Being ridiculously practical, he thought it would be a bad idea to start a relationship from a logistics standpoint.

Thankfully, I am not a realistic person. I''d been pursuing him all summer, and I knew he was the one from day one. He called me his girlfriend about a week later.
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Having been divorced a slight year when I met DH, I was so not ready. He was eager to marry but being a patient soul, waited the 12 years it took for me to get the courage to make the commitment again.
 
Date: 12/16/2009 6:21:21 PM
Author: TravelingGal
He was an Aussie and I was American. He was supposed to be a one night stand.


Whoops.

You''re amazing.
 
Date: 12/16/2009 6:21:21 PM
Author: TravelingGal
He was an Aussie and I was American. He was supposed to be a one night stand.

Whoops.
lol, TGal, DH and I both thought the same about each other.

No, we weren''t ready at all. I''d just broken up with my longtime bf, he was still involved with his longtime gf when we first met. He says he was looking for a way out of the relationship without hurting the girl, that''s why he was procrastinating.

We were both 19. The attraction between us was instant and powerful. DH says I was the catalyst he needed to end it with his ex. He asked me out the very next day they broke up. We were both thinking it was just some innocent fun (well, ok, not so innocent
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)

A week or two later we were talking about marriage. Turns out it didn''t matter if we''re ready or not, because somehow we''d found each other and that was all that mattered.

Whoops is right!
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We met in February of 2004. I didn''t know a lot of people in New Orleans, and on one night, my friends practically held me hostage and drug me to a club. Nate was there with his frat buddies. I never saw him - I didn''t want to be there in the first place; thus, I wasn''t looking for a guy. I was 19 and I think I had the mindset of concentrating on school, I was already a second semester sophomore at this point and I didn''t have the time to act like a normal 19 year-old college student.

Anyway, on first impression, I thought he was a major douche bag. Number one, he sent his friend over to tell me he was interested. Number two, he looked like he walked straight out of Abercrombie and Fitch. There aren''t many things I hate, but A&F is one of them. Anyway, I decided to give him a chance, since he didn''t have his collar popped. That probably would have been the deal breaker.

From there, we kind of started off as friends. As I said, I was 19 and he was 27 and, I wasn''t completely sure of his motives. He was a resident and I was in college and I kind of thought he''d meet someone closer to his place in life. But after about four months, we really started dating. It wasn''t really serious at that point, but I knew that I liked him.

Flash forward to August 2005, Hurricane Katrina hit and he ended up in Houston and I was in Massachusetts. It was then when I realized how much he meant to me. When you''re used to seeing someone on a regular basis and then you suddenly can''t, I think it puts things into perspective.
 
Well. We were really young when we met (I was 15, he was 17). I would say that we were both intrested. Since our relationship has been so long, we''ve grown up together. I would say that when he was in his early twenties, he was definitely NOT ready for a serious relationship, and it was really rocky. Later on, he settled into it, but actually getting married, there were times I wasn''t ready for it. I guess that''s one of the unique things about meeting when you are really young, you''ve been through all of the phases.
 
I''m not even sure when we first "met" .. it was 4 or 5 years ago. His best friend and my best friend were (still are) dating. We were both in serious relationships. I noticed he was cute but never thought anything would come of it ..

Fast forward to earlier this year, I saw my chance and I went for it
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. He was newly single, I was in a (different) relationship, but I broke that off.

I don''t think either one of us were ready for such a serious relationship at that time .. everything between us just developed so naturally that it couldn''t be helped! Now we live together, and will be getting engaged very soon. And I wouldn''t have things any other way.
 
JD liked me when we first met, but I was always dating someone, and I never knew he liked me. We were super close friends for about..7 years or so and one night at a party, I happened to not be dating anyone and he asked me out. I said yes, and then when I brought it up later when he was sober, he said he had been drunk and didn''t remember. Ohh was I torked off. My cousin told me he was lying, and that he''d had a crush on me since we met, so I brought it up again about going out. We went out a few times but he mainly just wanted to hang out w/our friends and not be bf/gf, so we quit and just stayed friends. I dated a couple dorks, and then spent some time single. He asked me out a lot during that time and I always said no. Then one day I thought since the..extra curricular activities were so good when we''d dated before, why not be friends with benefits. Ha, so one day after work I stopped at his house and said "Hey, what do you think of this?" hehehehe and that was fine for about 6 months, until we realized we had more feelings for one another..and then we surprised the hell out of everyone and got engaged and married 8 years ago!
 
nope!!! first date... we DID NOT like eachother. He thought I was snobby. haha im not snobby! and I was kind of seeing a guy that was abusive and using me for money but i was brainwashed... but, we decided to stay friends and I would talk to him about my problems with this guy and my he was the only one that convinced me to leave him.

My dads birthday, i had to go to buy a huge air compressor, and they are heavy so he came to help and the rest is history. We were inseparable from then on. and actually, we got married 3 months later. Even tho we knew eachother for only 3 months... we both knew this was it. and now we have been married for 3 years and I love every single moment of it. haha thats a lie :) of course there are moments we wanna kill eachother! what marriage doesnt have its ups and downs! haha but I so love my life!!
 
Date: 12/16/2009 7:34:21 PM
Author: phoenixgirl

Date: 12/16/2009 6:21:21 PM
Author: TravelingGal
He was an Aussie and I was American. He was supposed to be a one night stand.


Whoops.

Our neighbor always says her husband was a ''one night stand gone wrong . . . or right.''
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sooo...a "FREE TRIAL" before she buys the product??
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These are some great stories!

DH and I met when he was graduating from college (April 2002), and I needed a roommate. We met on our local VW forum, and despite having instant chemistry, we deluded ourselves into thinking we could easily be roommates.

Well, a few short weeks later, we were dating. He had a bit of a freakout at 3 months in and moved into an apartment and out of my house. I got it; he was fresh out of college, immediately living with a new GF who was older and from his perspective, expected the relationship to move faster than he was ready for.

We continued to date, but about 6 months later, he decided he wanted a "break". I was absolutely devastated, but we still saw each other often; he just didn''t want to give our relationship a title. After about 8 weeks of that limbo state, I gave him an ultimatum, and he chose correctly.

I think our relationship wouldn''t have lasted had we continued straight through without those rocky times.
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Date: 12/17/2009 7:17:18 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
Date: 12/16/2009 7:34:21 PM

Author: phoenixgirl


Date: 12/16/2009 6:21:21 PM

Author: TravelingGal

He was an Aussie and I was American. He was supposed to be a one night stand.



Whoops.


Our neighbor always says her husband was a ''one night stand gone wrong . . . or right.''
5.gif
sooo...a ''FREE TRIAL'' before she buys the product??
9.gif



That''s how I feel!
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I met my husband on a break from my could-not-commit boyfriend. My boyfriend at the time and I had separated for 2 months to allow for him to "find himself." It was six weeks in and I had written my boyfriend off. I didn''t want to marry someone who needed that kind of time to realize I was the One. I wanted someone to be excited to marry me! So, I started having what i thought was a meaningless fling with my husband.

He was so different from all the men I had dated and while our chemistry was amazing, I never saw long term potential. He just wouldn''t leave me alone! One morning he called me and told me he was coming over and I went outside to hide my car so he would think I wasn''t home. Imagine my surprise when he found me in the car because he had called from a 7-11 down the street. He was so angry and told me he had come over to give me my Xmas present and proceeded to hand me a teddy bear and beautifully wrapped gift. Simultaneously, he both warmed and infuriated me.

It was this kind of craziness that I fell for, that he was so obsessive with me that even if he lost 80% of that over time, it would still be plentiful. We got engaged within six months and married after a year and half. He still amazes me with his affection, even after 12 years of marriage!
 
Pshaw! I win.
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I've never found anyone to beat us yet: My husband and I tried twice (1st time dating 5.5 years, second time just over a year) with great swathes of time - one stretch was 11 years - and marriages to other people in between, until we got it together at the 27 year mark, and married 28 years after we started dating at 18.

It's a great ice-breaker at parties when everyone wants to get all saccharine and go, "Oh, how CUTE, you guys are NEWLYWEDS!!" We go, "Uh...no, not really" and then proceed to leave the with their jaws dangling open.

So I guess no, we weren't ready?
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No. DH was interested, but I was not. We met through a mutual friend, who actually "liked" DH. He never really talked to me much when our group of friends would go out, so I never really paid him much attention. We were dating within 4 months of meeting eachother and have been together ever since.
 
Date: 12/18/2009 5:49:15 AM
Author: heraanderson
I met my husband on a break from my could-not-commit boyfriend. My boyfriend at the time and I had separated for 2 months to allow for him to ''find himself.'' It was six weeks in and I had written my boyfriend off. I didn''t want to marry someone who needed that kind of time to realize I was the One. I wanted someone to be excited to marry me! So, I started having what i thought was a meaningless fling with my husband.

He was so different from all the men I had dated and while our chemistry was amazing, I never saw long term potential. He just wouldn''t leave me alone! One morning he called me and told me he was coming over and I went outside to hide my car so he would think I wasn''t home. Imagine my surprise when he found me in the car because he had called from a 7-11 down the street. He was so angry and told me he had come over to give me my Xmas present and proceeded to hand me a teddy bear and beautifully wrapped gift. Simultaneously, he both warmed and infuriated me.

It was this kind of craziness that I fell for, that he was so obsessive with me that even if he lost 80% of that over time, it would still be plentiful. We got engaged within six months and married after a year and half. He still amazes me with his affection, even after 12 years of marriage!
This is the cutest story ever and I can totally relate
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i suppose we were though i wouldn''t have admitted it at the time (i was about a month out of a relationship that had ended with a production of a break-up, and was making the mistake of trying to fix it). all that aside, and with me only seeing him for a couple hours a day for four days before he went home, we were dating 2 weeks after we met.
 
Date: 12/16/2009 1:39:37 PM
Author:joflier
When you 1st met? Was one of you interested, and the other not? Were you both ready for a relationship, or did one of you have to wait for the other?
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I was not attracted to hubby when we first met. I was 17 and in high school, and he was 23 and out of college and then some....so he was OOOLLLLDDD!! lol! We volunteered for the same ambulance service so that''s how we met and we were partners there a lot. As I got to know him, I realized he was a great guy, and when I left for college at 18, we wrote letters, but they were just platonic, keeping in touch letters...nothing romantic or anything. We kind of lost touch for a while but got back in touch when he moved near my school for a job (not for me!). Over time I could tell he had feelings for me, but I had a boyfriend. When I was 20 and he was 26, he told me he liked me. It took me a month to realize that I did indeed have feelings for him that were stronger than for my boyfriend. I broke up with the boyfriend, and hubby and I have been married for 10.5 years and are expecting our first baby in a few weeks!

My MIL has told me that hubby told her about me, and that if I were older at the time, he would have asked me out. So, he had feelings for me for years before he told me. My parents were originally less than thrilled that I was dating someone 6 years older than me, but it only took one meeting and they just loved him!
 
J and I met for the first time when I was 19 and he was 23. I was in a terrible relationship that wouldnt end for 3 more years. He thought i was very cute.
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We met again 4 years later on my 23rd birthday. I was single (and MUCH happier) and he was single. We hooked up that night.
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Both of us had gotten out of terrible relationships recently, and did NOT want anything serious. We fought it tooth and nail, but the connection was too strong. 3 months later, he said I love you!
 
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