Wedding Wedding planning bores me

[cakeny]

Someone tell me I''m not the only one. I just want to be...married already.

 

[MaggieB]

Wouldn''t say that it bores me, but it does get me down sometimes. Any reason that you can''t elope? If you just want to be married already, sounds like you should consider it

 

[cakeny]

Both sides of the fam would be very disappointed

especially my parents who live abroad (but are footing the bill). They want to do this. Maybe I'm just discouraged by all the shadiness of the vendors I'm calling these days. Sigh.

Esp wedding bands!

Hank Lane is the devil!

 

[zoebartlett]

Is there anything we can help you with? Can you give us details about your wedding?

 

[Haven]

Well, I certainly didn''t think it was a blast or anything, but try to focus on what you are planning for--your marriage! That''s a beautiful thing.

And delegate everything you really don''t want or need to do to people who are willing to help. I didn''t care about the cake, so hubby picked it out. It was hideous, but hey, I didn''t have to deal with it!

Once you know what is most important to you, you can relinquish control over whatever is not important and hand off those items to others. I found that people were far more willing to help than I thought they would be.

And Zoe''s right--we''ll help you here, too. PS has some of the most talented Internet sleuths around. No kidding.

 

[JerseyGrl81]

Do you have a family member or a close friend that might want to help you? I know a lot of people that would plan my wedding for me if I let them!

 

[miraclesrule]

Wedding planning is definately not for the faint of heart...or however that saying goes.

It can be chaotic..and the choices and comparisons between venues, vendors and decor will be daunting.

However, as Haven has said... it will be worth it in the end because it will be your wedding. It is amazing how many people, especially on this site, are more than happy to share ideas, help you make choices and offer unsurpassed support and empathy when you need it the most.

I''d also get the parents involved. If they want so much for you to have this type of wedding, and you have decided to allow for that, then they should be willing to invest just more than $$$. They should also be willing to invest time and energy to the process.

Congratulations and Good Luck!!

 

[winston26]

I found it more irritating and stressful than boring. I actually enjoy looking at wedding dresses, decorations, etc. but hated the stress of it. I could not figure out why my friends (already married) were so interested in my planning because I wasn''t enjoying it. Someone pointed out that wedding planning IS really fun.....when it''s not YOUR wedding! So maybe see what can be done to reduce the stress or irritations and it will become more fun. I focused on what we liked to do which was tasting cakes! Everyone thought we were being indecisive and ridiculous for looking at so many (I had already decided by the 3rd cake) but hey, it was one of the few fun parts!

 

[little miss sunshine]

You are defnitely not the only one... but you may be one of the few on this site! I posted something similar when I first got engaged... All my co-workers couldn''t stop raving about how much fun they had planning their weddings, and I could not understand AT all how they found it fun. I totally know what you mean about the vendors... I enjoyed choosing the date and ceremony/reception sites, but after that I found it quite tedious. I actually put off choosing a limo until about a month before because I was dreading calling and talking with sales people who are oh-so-eager to please over the phone but don''t always deliver. That is why I chose all of my vendors - photographer, DJ, limo, florist based on personal recommendations of people I knew that got married in my area, most were actually my mother''s (younger) co-workers. I would definitely suggest doing this - ask around friends/relatives/anyone and use vendors that others have used first. At least this way you know you can trust them to be reputable.

I also had a lot of people volunteer to help "do anything" I needed, but even though I wasn''t so enthusiastic about planning I did most of it myself... in the end my wedding turned out absolutely wonderful, but unlike my friends, I do not wish I still had a wedding to plan all over again!!

Best of luck!!

 

[omieluv]

Have you considered working with a wedding planner? Maybe unload the not-so fun stuff onto the planner and pick a few details that you might see yourself actually enjoying. Though I am not engaged yet, I am dreading the wedding planning ordeal. I hope I end up like a few PSers who started out not very excited, but then kinda got into it as the process unfolded & maybe you will as well.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/30/2008 2:05:54 PM
Author:cakeny
Someone tell me I'm not the only one. I just want to be...married already.

I am with you 100%. However, my plan is to elope... if I can get FF to agree! My parents are firmly against it, but I can't imagine torturing myself for months planning a party that I don't want, not to mention all of the "day of" hoopla. Just not my style. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE my family AND his, but I can't see spending all that money for one day, plus I don't like the idea of being stared at and fussed about... awkward!

Have FI do half the planning, it's only reasonable, since it's his day too. At least then, misery loves company.

I told FI that if he wanted a wedding, we could have one, but he would have to take the lead (60/40ish), because I am very opposed to a traditional wedding, but if he has a vision, we can make it happen. He was not too enthused, I assume, because he thought I was going to plan it... HA!

That's what happens when you try to marry non-traditional women, hehe!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Is your fiance helping? I wouldn''t have planned a wedding if i had to do it on my own, but doing it with D made it bearable and we found ourselves laughing. A LOT. I didn''t find it stressful because I don''t think I cared enough to stress about it, but I did find myself saying "This is ridiculously silly" at times. If you really find it boring, I would employ the "pick your choice out of a hat" strategy. The invitations, the cake, whatever you just don''t are about, you can just choose at random. If there are things you do care about, well then give those things some thought. And if you don''t care about anything...well, somebody else can always plan it for you

 

[Octavia]

I feel kind of the same way. I''d always assumed that I''d love planning my wedding, but at this point I''ve been engaged for seven months (fourteen left to go) and have done absolutely nothing except narrow down a list of venues to check out. But the thought of trapsing around and actually looking at them...not appealing. Dealing with vendors? Not so much. I''m finally going to look at wedding dresses this weekend, and I am excited about that. But hiring a planner is starting to sound more and more appealing because other than saying our vows and exchanging rings -- the actual "getting married" part -- I''m just not too fussed about any of it.

 

[noelwr]

I can completely understand that planning a wedding is not for everyone. it''s great for me because I just love planning stuff. but I''ve done pretty much everything I can do so far as it''s a destination wedding and I have to go there to finalize the rest. and I''ve pretty much planned all our upcoming vacations in detail... so I am getting bored again. ha, maybe I should have a go at planning yours!

 

[Independent Gal]

I thought the whole planning thing was a big dumb drag. The parts I enjoyed were the crafty things, like making the invitations and sewing a veil.

 

[aprilcait]

I feel for you, hon''! I really disliked wedding planning. Every female around me thought I was bonkers when I said I was avoiding bridal expos like the plague. I''m not a party-planning kind of girl; God bless those who are but I am just not one of ''em. I think that gene skipped me completely. Haha!

The planning will be over soon enough and you''ll be with your hubby. Oh, and if you have pals or family members that are the party-planning type... why not pull them in and make use of their passions and talents? They''re probably chomping at the bit to help out anyway.

 

[cakeny]

Thanks for all the well wishes and advice, ladies. you guys are all right. First, I need to focus on the positives - the actual marriage, the guy, our future, the dress (heh), and then I need to do some delegation (as one of the last out of my friends to be married, I have loads of resources to draw from) and accept the help being offered. FI is very willing to take on any tasks i give him, but i am a bit of a control freak so i haven't really taken him up on his offer. This may change very soon.

I'm glad some of you understand where I'm coming from. Setting the date and getting the venue/caterer was a piece of cake and i didn't mind that too much. But after that.... this next chunk of vendors, Band/Flower/Photo.... My eyes start to glaze over just thinking about it. But yeah, I guess dress shoppping has been pretty cool. hehe. I'm AM a girl, after all. And I looked damn good in everything.

 

[omieluv]

Date: 8/1/2008 3:09:36 PM
Author: cakeny
Thanks for all the well wishes and advice, ladies. you guys are all right. First, I need to focus on the positives - the actual marriage, the guy, our future, the dress (heh), and then I need to do some delegation (as one of the last out of my friends to be married, I have loads of resources to draw from) and accept the help being offered. FI is very willing to take on any tasks i give him, but i am a bit of a control freak so i haven''t really taken him up on his offer. This may change very soon.

I''m glad some of you understand where I''m coming from. Setting the date and getting the venue/caterer was a piece of cake and i didn''t mind that too much. But after that.... this next chunk of vendors, Band/Flower/Photo.... My eyes start to glaze over just thinking about it. But yeah, I guess dress shoppping has been pretty cool. hehe. I''m AM a girl, after all. And I looked damn good in everything.

See, at least there is one aspect you have enjoyed thus far. Maybe after you find your dress, you might become more motivated for some of the rest! For instance, you want to make sure you find a damn good photographer to capture your loveliness!! hehe!!

 

[Harriet]

Even the idea bores me, which is why I''m keeping mine as small as possible!

 

[karasue91]

ugh my wedding is a week from tomorrow and I am SO OVER the wedding. I just want it to be the day after the wedding, when we are married and leaving for our honeymoon!!

 

[bootsiekin]

I know exactly how you feel...mine is in October and Ive about had it. This was after a crisis when about a month ago my reception venue suddenly went out of business and I had to find a new place (which was next to impossible!) My advice is, as long as you arent too picky about the particulars, is to not shop around too much. For example, I found my photographer at a bridal show, and I booked him cuz I liked his pictures. I didnt go around and meet with 5 others. Same thing with the florist and the DJ, I went by word of mouth. If you pick one vendor that you really like (maybe the photographer) you can usually ask them for who they would recommend to DJ, etc. because the photographer has been to a TON of weddings and knows who is good and who isnt. I found it satisfying to just keep crossing things off my list! Unfortunately, as it gets closer all these minute details start coming up..last night I had a nightmare about chair covers.

you will make it, though! I just keep looking forward to that honeymoon when you dont have to worry about anything execpt relaxing!

 

[calidaisy]

i''m so-o with you!
if i had it my way, we would''ve eloped LONG time ago.
the only thing i was interested in was my dress ... and even that bores and stresses me out at this point.