Wedding Wedding over budget

[violet02]

So I have this great wedding planner that has handled a ton of stuff for me and has tried very hard to keep us in budget, on the opposite side I've done a very good job of pushing us WAY over budget. Some things were silly such as my dad saying he wanted me to hire a harpist that he'd cover but then went back on... or my aunt and uncle saying they weren't paying for the jr bridesmaid dress/shoes and the ring bearer tux/tie. My planner really tried to warn us against these extraneous things (harp player! gah) but I went ahead and booked them anyways. As a result of these things and many other little things we're crazily over budget. I'd have to say we'd anticipated paying $15k ourselves and it has ballooned into us paying $25k of our own money not including our parents contributions!

Does anyone have any tips on what the heck to cut at this point? There are things like flowers at 3k that I dont' want to cut, that's low anyways, and the photographer at 5k and the 600 dollar videographer, but there has to be somewhere else I can dial back. Like we could cancel the harpist but we'd lose our deposit money which was 50%. We're paying 5k to rent a house for a week, my friends are paying 80 a head per night to stay there with us but both sets of parents and some relatives so far haven't offered to put in a penny, since our parents put in for the wedding (outside of the house rental) is it even fair to ask them to put in money for that? The house rental is a must by the way since the wedding is at the house.

Now technically we can cover the overage but its' a LOT of money and my FI is having a coronary right now about it which I don't blame him... anyone else have this problem??

 

[Krissie]

Hi Violet,

How about something like transportation or table linens? Both can add up really quickly. Also, if you haven''t thought of it already, how about a beer and wine reception rather than a full open bar? Those are the 3 areas we cut back on and saved quite a bit. Of course, I''m still over budget ...

 

[violet02]

Well we already cut back on the shuttle from 2 to 1 and that's 1k, no parking at the house so we're stuck there.

Our total alcohol was going to cost less than 3k. We could go beer and wine only but I'm not sure how much we'd save there. We're already having a small wedding with not a ton of drinkers. Ugh.

What can you cut on table linens exactly?

 

[Krissie]

Date: 7/10/2008 2:20:57 PM
Author: violet02
Well we already cut back on the shuttle from 2 to 1 and that''s 1k, no parking at the house so we''re stuck there.

Our total alcohol was going to cost less than 3k. We could go beer and wine only but I''m not sure how much we''d save there. We''re already having a small wedding with not a ton of drinkers. Ugh.

What can you cut on table linens exactly?

At our venue, they offer regular table linens, but floor-length are extra. Chair covers are also extra. I thought there might be some wiggle room there.

What about the food itself? Were you planning on any food display stations during the cocktail hour? We were, and switched to just passed hors d''oeuvres rather than both. That saved $800.

Centerpieces - can you do a mix of flowers and something else (candles?) scattered to save money?

 

[Sabine]

I was going to say the bar and menu to. Are you doing a appetizers? Those can be cut or at least scaled back. What about dessert? Our venue offered dessert in addition to cake, but if you''re having a cake you don''t really need another dessert.

What about things like favors? Can you cut those or scale those back?

 

[goldenstar]

I''m in the early stages of planing and I can totally relate. We are on track so far, but FI''s mortal fear is that things are going to balloon out of control. We met with our wedding planner a few days ago and he was squirming in his seat. She gave us a grand sum estimate and now she''s going to get quotes from different vendors. Then we can look at things line by line and decide what we are going to take or leave. FI is okay with the total she estimates for us, but its the upper limit of our budget and just a penny more would push us over.

As a result, FI wants to lower the budget by a few thousand to give us wiggle room for unexpected costs. Naturally, I think this is a great idea so we are definitely going to scale back when we have quotes in front of us.

I haven''t booked a lot of vendors, so here are some changes we want to make:
-use a DJ for the ceremony, cocktail hour, reception. Initially we wanted musicians for the first two, but its not a priority for us so its not a big deal to let it go.
-plain, plain (but tasty) cake. The cake was also not a priority for us,as long as it tastes good.
-I had my heart set on a pricey makeup artist, but I''m shopping around for lower prices and I found someone with a lot of potential. Love her style and the price is reasonable. We''re trying to set a date for a consultation.
-Buying my veil from veilshop.com.
-Jewelry: I was watching one of those home shopping channels and I saw that Tacori makes costume jewelry! Its really really nice. Its not expensive so I''m going to choose from that collection.
-We wanted a ton of lighting design elements, but I think we''re going to eliminate a few things when we see an itemization of the costs.
This is just for starters. I''m sure we''ll think of other little ways to tone it down.


FI wanted to cut the linen rentals but our venue only has chocolate brown ones that are nice but would totally clash with our color scheme. I''m flexible but I had to put my foot down on that one.

 

[jcrow]

favors? programs? those two can be cut easily.. cut back on the menu - less items.
you can do cheaper linens for the table like the others mentioned. also, for the flowers--- we used the bouquets from the bridal party as centerpieces of the tables instead of doubling up on flowers. that will save you some money. we also only had one bridal bouquet (no tossing one)

eta: oops we were posting at the same time, disregard the linen comment.

 

[jcrow]

also, you can nix transportation usually. as in, providing it for the bridal party or even having something for the two of you.

eta: oops. missed that you mentioned that Krissie.

 

[violet02]

Programs and Menus, we just met with this place this weekend that are doing them and weren''t supposed to cost ''much''. But we haven''t gotten a quote back on that. I need to re-evaluate that for sure! I think the same goes for the cocktail napkins and guest towels.

I don''t know if they are charging us for dessert but that''s a good thing to take a look at. The hors d''overes... they are supposed to be passed no display. My planner said we should hit costco for small snacks pre-ceremony to cut back on costs. I''m going to take a closer look at the menu now to see what extraneous stuff is on there. Our food is a smaller cost though.

We''ve already paid for the big stuff like cake, dress, jewelry, veil... house, site fee, flowers etc... deposit is paid for the harp/flute player, so as I said before we can eat 50% or just pay it. Our DJ is cheap at least. I should have listened to my planner about the dang harp player!! Argh! We could have saved $500 on the officiant too if my friend and I didn''t bicker so much that we just couldn''t have him do it.

 

[Sabine]

I would definitely look at programs/menus. IMO, menus aren''t necessary and could be cut completely, or you could just go to a craft store, buy some nice paper, and print them yourself. And programs could easily be done yourself too if your expectations aren''t too high and you have time!

 

[violet02]

The only transpo cost we have is the shuttle, one for the whole day, since there is no parking at the site.

Okay in terms of favors... I''ve already ordered some but i can return some stuff. Here was the original line up.
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/need-help-with-favor-questions.86207/

So we are for sure keeping the teapot placecard holder.

Here''s the cost breakdown on the rest though:
$126.00 for strawberry candy tins.
$50.00 for ribbon
$104.00 heart candy dishes
$120.00 heart chocolates

As you can see from the above post I was going for the look in the original photo.

 

[Rhea]

You keep saying that such and such can''t be cut, which is fine, don''t cut anything completely, but you may really want to look into downsizing a bit on anything you can. Save $500 on flower, $200 on transportation, $700 on the florist, etc and next thing you know you''ve saved $3000 and not lost anything you truly wanted.

I''d give up the favors and menus, print my own programs, look to see if the transportation place offered a cheaper alternative, make sure you''re using all in season flowers and use the BM''s flowers to decorate the reception site, cut it back to beer and wine only.

 

[ljsmith001]

HOW much is your harpist though? Shouldnt be too too much. I am having one for the 30 minute prior to ceremony, during ceremony and during cocktail hour and its only 250 dollars. I think its a nice touch, you wouldn''t want to cut that would you? Then what would you have during your ceremony? You could definitely not have favors, I am still considering not having any. Centerpeices definitely add up! At first I was having 6 people per table, but when I realized that meant many many more centerpeices, i am now doing 8 per table. I am having all floral centerpieces in big square modern vases, but i told my decorator/florist that i wouldn''t spend more than $50 on each centerpiece. I am also not having chair covers. We are having a wedding with approx 175 people, a gourmet dinner, open bar, harpist, DJ, etc and we are spending about $18k.

 

[jcrow]

this is what i cut and didn''t miss:

dessert (um, you have cake, right? that should surffice)
favors
bouquet toss (so no 2nd bouquet)
extra centerpieces (see above)
transportation for guests (you''ve addressed this already)
bathroom baskets
guest towels (didn''t even know ppl did that)


this is what i''d further cut out if i was u:

programs
alcohol (limit it to beer & wine)

you keep saying you''re over budget but can''t cut back OR what items you list aren''t that expensive. think about the big picture. those "smaller cost" items add up. big time.

 

[jcrow]

you can also use less expensive flowers in places like the centerpieces. for instance, i had peonies for bouquets but used roses for all of the centerpieces (except those where we used the bouquets themselves)

 

[violet02]

Date: 7/10/2008 3:11:46 PM
Author: ljsmith001
HOW much is your harpist though? Shouldnt be too too much. I am having one for the 30 minute prior to ceremony, during ceremony and during cocktail hour and its only 250 dollars. I think its a nice touch, you wouldn''t want to cut that would you? Then what would you have during your ceremony? You could definitely not have favors, I am still considering not having any. Centerpeices definitely add up! At first I was having 6 people per table, but when I realized that meant many many more centerpeices, i am now doing 8 per table. I am having all floral centerpieces in big square modern vases, but i told my decorator/florist that i wouldn''t spend more than $50 on each centerpiece. I am also not having chair covers. We are having a wedding with approx 175 people, a gourmet dinner, open bar, harpist, DJ, etc and we are spending about $18k.

The harpist and flute player are costing us $835.00 for 2 hours. We live in CA it''s pricey here I know...
Our centerpieces are small, we''re putting them into silver teapots that I ebaye''ed for next to nothing. Our flowers in my opinion are quite cheap. We are skipping chair covers for sure. The favors are something I definitely need to cut back on but that''s a total cost savings of $400 for the favors.

I can''t cut transportation. One shuttle through the local navy base is all we''ve got. I got a 50% discount going through the navy to get the shuttle. If we cut that then we have no way to get people back and forth to the wedding. The total cost there is 1k.

I hesittate to say how much our wedding is costing us (not including rings or the house rental!!) for 80 people. Ouch.

 

[violet02]

Date: 7/10/2008 3:15:32 PM
Author: jcrow
this is what i cut and didn''t miss:

dessert (um, you have cake, right? that should surffice)
favors
bouquet toss (so no 2nd bouquet)
extra centerpieces (see above)
transportation for guests (you''ve addressed this already)
bathroom baskets
guest towels (didn''t even know ppl did that)


this is what i''d further cut out if i was u:

programs
alcohol (limit it to beer & wine)

you keep saying you''re over budget but can''t cut back OR what items you list aren''t that expensive. think about the big picture. those ''smaller cost'' items add up. big time.

Okay..

bathroom baskets: i was wondering about this... my friend didn''t have them... I was wondering did I even need them? We''re having it at a house where we''re staying so I guess if people need a needle and thread or aspirin we''ll have it there already. I''ll cut this one then for sure.
dessert: I don''t think it''s on our catering list I''ll check to make sure though!
extra bouquet: I already axed this, no bouquet toss!
alcohol: we were going to have four types of mixed drinks to choose from (alcohol from costco) we can cut this though. although I really think our alcohol cost was going to be super cheap, nevertheless...
favors: yes I need to cut back on this dept big time. how much do people really care what they get in favors anyways??

 

[violet02]

Date: 7/10/2008 3:18:11 PM
Author: jcrow
you can also use less expensive flowers in places like the centerpieces. for instance, i had peonies for bouquets but used roses for all of the centerpieces (except those where we used the bouquets themselves)

Oh yes I''m doing this.

I''m using garden roses for my bouquet but a mix in the centerpieces... with feathers etc.. which save a lot since you don''t use as many flowers.

 

[Cleopatra]

In general, people don''t care about favors - i''ve never gotten a wedding favor and said "wow - i can''t live without this favor" - i think they are fun things to have if you have wiggle room in the budget - but DEFINITELY not a necessity.

I''m having "favors" - I got cake boxes - monogrammed with our initial - and people can take home some yummy wedding cake. It cost me $100 for 200 boxes....And we won''t have to throw away a huge portion of our yummy cake

 

[jcrow]

they don''t care about favors.

we had 100 ppl at our wedding. not a one mentioned favors. we also nixed bathroom baskets.

here''s the thing. we (as in brides) see all this STUFF that ppl do or we''re suppose to do or have. our guests however, haven''t. they probably don''t even know that some ppl have bathroom baskets, so are they going to miss yours? no, of course not.

 

[newbie124]

$3000 flowers for a wedding of 80 guests sounds OK, but not exactly a bargain. We're expecting around 70 guests (9 tables) and I was able to get a least 3 highly recommended Northern CA florists to quote me around $2,000 (and I'm asking for nice, lush centerpieces, not like just a few stems of sunflowers or daisies). I think the flowers are definitely one of the areas where you should have a lot of wiggle room.

How many BMs do you have? You could consider instead of BM bouquest, having them wear wrist corsages. That would be like an avg $20 vs $65 each.

I would also totally nix the favors. Nice but not necessary, especially when you need to make budget cuts. Probably same w/ the guest towels.

4 mixed drinks does add up to a lot of alcohol, especially if each drink requires a different liquor. I think one, *maybe* 2, signature cocktails w/ beer and wine would work (Or maybe do sangria? Tastes great and shouldn't cost a lot).

Like someone else mentioned above, all the "little" things do end up adding up to a lot. So try to get away from the thinking that "Oh, but this isn't really THAT much money I'd be saving" and look at whatever saved as something that you can put back into your bank account and no one's going to miss!

 

[violet02]

Date: 7/10/2008 3:50:40 PM
Author: newbie124
$3000 flowers for a wedding of 80 guests sounds OK, but not exactly a bargain. We''re expecting around 70 guests (9 tables) and I was able to get a least 3 highly recommended Northern CA florists to quote me around $2,000 (and I''m asking for nice, lush centerpieces, not like just a few stems of sunflowers or daisies). I think the flowers are definitely one of the areas where you should have a lot of wiggle room.

How many BMs do you have? You could consider instead of BM bouquest, having them wear wrist corsages. That would be like an avg $20 vs $65 each.

I would also totally nix the favors. Nice but not necessary, especially when you need to make budget cuts. Probably same w/ the guest towels.

4 mixed drinks does add up to a lot of alcohol, especially if each drink requires an different liquor. I think one *maybe* 2 signature cocktails would work (or maybe do sangria? Tastes great and shouldn''t cost a lot).

Like someone else mentioned above, all the ''little'' things do end up adding up to a lot. So try to get away from the thinking that ''Oh, but this isn''t really THAT much money I''d be saving'' and look at whatever saved as something that you can put back into your bank account and no one''s going to miss!

Well flowers was one of those things I really wanted.... it''s actually like 2700 total for flowers. I really want my bm''s to have bouquets, there are two and one man of honor. I think where I screwed myself was the jr bridesmaid/flower girl and the ring bearer. My aunt and uncle bailed on paying for anything after the fact so that alone is costing me a ton. I wonder if I can sell that jr bridesmaid dress though on ebay afterwards?

I''m def. cutting back on alcohol, and paper items and probably favors.

 

[newbie124]

Oh, I would also see how your parents feel about talking to your relatives about helping out with some of the lodging cost. I mean, it's nice that you would consider paying for them...but I think that's something you should only do if you have the money for it. Otherwise, I think it's more than generous, especially if your friends are paying.

You don't have to ask them to pay for full reimbursement, but I think a reasonable fee would not be uncalled for. I mean, if you were having it anywhere else, it's likely they'd have to pay for hotel rooms anyway.

 

[violet02]

Date: 7/10/2008 4:01:11 PM
Author: newbie124
Oh, I would also see how your parents feel about talking to your relatives about helping out with some of the lodging cost. I mean, it''s nice that you would consider paying for them...but I think that''s something you should only do if you have the money for it. Otherwise, I think it''s more than generous, especially if your friends are paying.

You don''t have to ask them to pay for full reimbursement, but I think a reasonable fee would not be uncalled for. I mean, if you were having it anywhere else, it''s likely they''d have to pay for hotel rooms anyway.

I''m charging 80 per head for my friends. They get a nice place to stay on the beach with jacuzzi. I was thinking the same for my aunt and grandma,. 80 per head per night. The nearest hotel is about $165.00 before tax and charges in downtown carmel for an inn. That''s the bargain rate too and there aren''t many rooms avail at that place. Most of them are close to $200 per night.

What do we do about our parents though? Eat the cost? As I was saying before the house rental wasn''t part of the wedding budget so what they contribute is going towards the wedding not the lodging. Same would go for them in terms of getting a hotel I''d think... we''re afraid to ask though.

 

[newbie124]

Date: 7/10/2008 4:06:43 PM
Author: violet02
I''m charging 80 per head for my friends. They get a nice place to stay on the beach with jacuzzi. I was thinking the same for my aunt and grandma,. 80 per head per night. The nearest hotel is about $165.00 before tax and charges in downtown carmel for an inn. That''s the bargain rate too and there aren''t many rooms avail at that place. Most of them are close to $200 per night.

What do we do about our parents though? Eat the cost? As I was saying before the house rental wasn''t part of the wedding budget so what they contribute is going towards the wedding not the lodging. Same would go for them in terms of getting a hotel I''d think... we''re afraid to ask though.

Well, I''m kind of in a similar dilemma here. Our venue required that we also rent the 4 hotel rooms around the space we''ll be using for the reception. The room charges were over $500/night! (Yeah, kind of ridiculous, especially considering the state of the rooms...but I kind of just factored it into the overall venue budget...still hurt, though.).

One of the rooms FI and I will use for the wedding night. For the other three, we thought we''d just see if some relatives would be willing to reimburse us for half the cost. In fact, my mom and aunt had suggested that upfront when we were considering the venue.

My mom is going to take one room w/ my grandma and already offered to cover that. FI is supposed to talk to his parents about taking one of the other rooms, but I don''t know if he has or not. My dad, who''s footing slightly more than half of the wedding budget, I''m thinking of just letting him stay in the 4th room if he''d like and either not ask for reimbursement or a lesser amount...I had kind of counted on getting some back for all 3 rooms to soften the blow of the venue fee, but now it seems kind of awkward to ask my dad to pay for the room when he''s offered a large contribution for the wedding. But then, it''s like you said...they''d generally have to pay for a hotel room anyway if there wasn''t one already available.

So, I guess that doesn''t really answer your question directly. But maybe if you brought up with them how you''re getting a little concerned about the budget and talk about getting relatives to chip in, it might dawn on your parents to offer to help out w/ their rooms. Then, you can decide whether or not you want to accept.

Although, I do think it was a bit of a downer for your dad to insist on the harpist, saying he''d pay for it, then back out after you paid the deposit.

 

[Pandora II]

With flowers for decorating the venue, look into using some artificial ones.

I need a LOT of decorating for my venue and my flower budget is $1k total which doesn''t go far in the UK.

I''m DIYing ALL the flowers with a friend of my mothers and my BFF who is flying in from Italy 2 days early to help me. I bought $300 of fake ivy garlands on ebay which will cover all the really ugly pillars and $60 of battery fairylights to put in them. After the wedding I will sell them all on ebay and get most of my money back.

DIY all the paper products. Nix printed napkins, bathroom baskets etc

I DIYed all my favours - cotton lavender bags printed with our monogram. Bags - $35 for 130, Lavender - $40 for 2kg, Custom stamp of Monogram plus fabric stamping ink - $10. Two evenings of my time and $85 = 130 favours.

 

[violet02]

So I just emailed my parents asking them to contribute to the house... i'm asking my FI to do the same, we'll see how that goes!

eta: we asked them to pay $700 for the week, thats 7 days 50 dollars a head. thats how long they are coming for. is that unreasonable?

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 7/10/2008 3:26:50 PM
Author: jcrow
they don''t care about favors.

we had 100 ppl at our wedding. not a one mentioned favors. we also nixed bathroom baskets.


here''s the thing. we (as in brides) see all this STUFF that ppl do or we''re suppose to do or have. our guests however, haven''t. they probably don''t even know that some ppl have bathroom baskets, so are they going to miss yours? no, of course not.

I totally agree with that jcrow, that''s really insightful. For example: I know when I mention save-the-dates most people in my circle are like.."Um what are those?"