Wedding We got turned down by our first choice florist!

[newbie124]

Yeah...TURNED DOWN.

So I wrote about our choosing a florist dilemma in this other thread.

Even though our first choice florist was flighty about return communication and also still $200 over our budget, I wrote her back and told her that we really liked her work and the difference wasn''t hugely significant, so I thought we could probably find a way to make it work in our budget. I also made the suggestion that instead of her providing the flower petals for us, we could take care of those ourselves, thus, helping bring down the costs a bit.

Well, I get an email this morning from her saying thanks for our interest but she thinks we would be better off working with another florist. PERIOD. That''s it. No further explanation or anything. WTF???

Needless to say I was a bit shocked and rather frustrated. After giving her the benefit of the doubt and coming up with my own suggestions for how we could lower the quote, which wasn''t even like it was really far off from her original, she essentially says she''d rather not have our business. OK...well, I guess that''s fine. Probably better off that we know this now rather than if we had signed with her and then later found ourselves at odds.

I honestly don''t know, though, what I might have said to trigger her response. I told her during our first meeting what our budget was and she said that it would be NO problem. Well, then after 2 weeks pass and I''ve gotten quotes from the other two florists but no word from her, I email to ask for a quote. She finally sends it and it''s $400 over our budget...OK...Well, I think I did what any other customer would do and reiterated our original budget and asked if there was anything she could do to help bring that down...she made some revisions and got it to within $200 of our budget. Although I have to admit I should have seen something coming at that point b/c she made it sound like unfortunately she couldn''t do any better than that and maybe we would want to consider someone who''s closer to the venue. But then I told her well, $200 isn''t that far off and we think we can make it work...then she just outright turns out down.

UGH...I can''t believe it. How does someone run a business like this? Well, I guess that makes our decision easier....but it''s still frustrating. I just knew flowers were going to be a thorn in my side (pun intended).

 

[PearlDahhhling]

Oh no!

That is so strange! I''m sorry it didn''t work out for you! Very odd...

Do you think you''ll go with one of the other florists? Or back at square one?

Good luck with whatever you guys decide to do!

 

[purrfectpear]

I''m not surprised. Unless I misunderstood your post, she had already cut it to the bone (in her opinion) leaving you $200 over budget. You email her back saying, yeah $200 over is maybe doable but if we provide our own petals maybe you can go lower?

She just decided that you were still trying to lower the $200 over and she wasn''t interested.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

As a vendor, I will openly admit, I don''t take every client/bride that comes requesting my services. Sometimes I just know that our personalities will clash in the long run, and it wont be a good business move for me--and in the end, I wont enhance her experience.

Regardless of what you consider "expensive" most florists really make very little when it comes to a profit. The cost of flowers wholesale isn''t much less than what you end up actually paying for it. Add to that the cost of her labor, time and design... what you were grappling over may actually be her entire cut.

I would just swallow your disappointment and move on...clearly, it wasn''t meant to be, and thats okay, too.

 

[diamondfan]

I am NOT defending her at all, because quite frankly I think that was pretty obnoxious, but she likely thought budget would come up again and she just did not want to be dealing with it, like, I am not making concessions and cutting to make their budget. Some vendors can be real primadonnas and want THEIR work and fees to be sacred. Again not saying that is okay at all but just get that vibe from her email back to you.

 

[Blair138]

I agree with diamondfan and I think that she is obnoxious-with that being said, vendors can choose if they want to work with a client just like we can choose who to go with. Better you found that out now rather than later though.

 

[CNOS128]

Not having read your first thread, I probably shouldn''t comment, but here I go anyway:

First - you''re better off working with a florist who will be within your budget, and someone who actually wants to work with you and is better about responding to your questions and concerns. It would probably be much more stressful to worry about communication with your florist, not to mention whether you were going to like the final product.

But remember that this florist has a business to run and a reputation to worry about; perhaps the concern was that by cutting corners to get down to your budget, the flower arrangements wouldn''t represent the kind of work she likes to present to clients. I think a concern like this is totally valid - although sending you a quote above your budget after telling you meeting the budget would be no problem is a little unprofessional.
She also has to worry about her bottom line, and consider whether it''s worth it to her to accept clients under a certain amount. It''s just business; I hope you won''t take it personally.

With the next florist, I guess you should just start off making it clear that you need to stick to a strict budget. That way there hopefully won''t be a back & forth communication issue.

I think you''ll be a lot happier working with someone with whom you have better vendor-client chemistry.

 

[miraclesrule]

We were turned down by our first florist too! It''s not a big deal. She was too expensive for us and she had her own artistic vision and doesn''t like to compromise. I understand that. Like others have said, they have a reputation and their work is an extension of that and their artistry so it''s understandable. We loved the florist we ended up with and so it''s probably much better for you in the long run. You''ll find someone who is grateful to be working with you and vice versa and that, in the end, will enhance your wedding experience.

 

[HollyS]

I had to laugh, ''cause my first thought was . . . "how much a bridezilla was she that the florist turned down her wedding?"

I''m not saying that''s what happened, it was what popped into my mind at first glance at your post.

You may never know why she declined the job; maybe she was contacted by someone who wanted the same day and it was a much bigger order, with a lot more exposure for her shop, and she was looking for an excuse to back out of your wedding.

 

[Rhea]

It happens with vendors. I have a friend who is a wedding photograph who fairly regularly doesn''t take on couples even if the date is free. She thinks they won''t well together and that the couple is better off finding someone else. Just continue looking, you''ll find someone within budget and who works with you better.

 

[Gwyn]

I can respect her right and decision to not take on a client but I feel the email was a little short and came off kind of rude. She doesnt owe any kind of an explanation (though it one would be nice) but I would think someone in the service business would atleast be kind enough to add a second line saying good luck with the wedding or alternate florist search or something like that.

Sorry hun.

 

[newbie124]

Thanks for everyone''s input.

Yeah, I agree that vendors do have a right to choose who they work with or not, but I guess I''m mostly peeved b/c I had to make everyone else wait while she took her time responding to us, and honestly, I don''t think we were making unreasonable requests. Particularly b/c she never hinted before that our budget would be an issue. How do you tell someone that their budget is within reason and you''d be able to meet that, then turn them down over a $200 difference?

Also, I''m not sure how me asking her to take out the petals all together would be considered a "loss" to her since she wouldn''t be providing them at all. I would''ve considered that a win-win since we would save money and it''s not like we were demanding that she give us a flat out discount.

All the other vendors we''re working with seemed to be fine and understanding handling budget changes. But yeah...I guess in the end it probably worked out for the best.

I did get a recent recommendation from someone else for a florist in the area who seems to have a similar style, so I may try to contact them and see about getting a quote. If that doesn''t work out, then we will go with our second choice florist. At least we did feel that her personality matched ours and she''s very quick responding back.

 

[Sabine]

That is weird. The only thing I can think of is that she may have been thrown off by you expecting that taking the petals out of the contract would lower it by $200. I don''t know how much flower petals cost because my florist provided some for the small amount of decorating for free, but I can''t imagine they would be that much, unless you are planning on using a TON. Maybe she was worried that you expected the petals to significantly lower the cost and she knew it wouldn''t?

At least you have two good backups!

 

[newbie124]

Actually her charge for the petals was $100, which I do consider a bit pricey, which is why we were just going to do our own.

The "$200 difference" I was referring to was that her 2nd quote was only $200 less than the first quote, but I was telling her it wasn't that far off from our budget so we were willing to adjust our cost estimate and pay a little more to work with her.

 

[diamondfan]

In this economy I should think most vendors understand budget constraints. But no one has to accept a job, maybe she could book it for someone else who had no cost concerns, (it can happen of course) but she should have and could have been more pleasant in her response.

 

[swingirl]

This florist probably has enough weddings to keep her busy and is able to work with clients who have more flexible budgets. She is quite a distance away from Napa, too. You'd be better off finding someone closer to Napa who acts like they are really interested in working with you.

 

[honey22]

This must be frustrating for you, but maybe it''s a sign that you weren''t meant to work with her? I am sure you have the perfect florist just hiding around the corner for you. Hope you find one soon?

Now I am stressing though, I didn''t expect that a vendor would turn a client down, I thought I would just have to pick one, not run the risk of them not picking us? Argh! wedding planning originated from another planet I am sure!!!

 

[CJ2008]

That stinks Newbie. I totally understand that after feeling like you were being patient with her, you ask her that one extra question (about the petals) and she turns it into "maybe you should find someone else".

I think she absolutely has the right to turn down working with a client, but the way she went about it is a good indication you were better off finding out now. The way I see it you don''t want to do business with vendors who don''t feel good about you as a client - for whatever reason. Because even if you had gotten over the budget hurdle with her, if she was already feeling like she was going out of her way for you, her "fuse" would''ve been kind of short for you for other things too. You don''t need that. It doesn''t at all sound like you were being unreasonable, or had her going back and forth going crazy - so don''t look at this as a reflection on you at all. You just haven''t found the right florist.

Good luck, and I hope you find someone even better.

 

[Rhea]

Date: 9/21/2008 6:48:29 AM
Author: honey22

Now I am stressing though, I didn't expect that a vendor would turn a client down, I thought I would just have to pick one, not run the risk of them not picking us? Argh! wedding planning originated from another planet I am sure!!!

In some ways, it's just like a job interview. The florist probably wants the job that she's interviewing for, but should she learn something she doesn't like during the interview she is not required to accept the job. Just as the average brides picks several florists and talks to them to make sure they have the same ideas, the florist/hair dresser/caterer may not have the same ideas as you and need to turn down the job.

I wouldn't stress about it, it's just a fact of life. Just because anyone is a business or has services available doesn't mean they necessarily need your business to stay afloat should you simply clash. I used to clean house through university and found that I no longer wanted to work with a particular couple. Perfectly acceptable.

But it would have been nicer had Newbie124's potential florist been quickier to reply and more polite in doing so!

 

[newbie124]

Thanks, guys.

Yes, I''m starting to think of it as probably being a good thing that it happened as it most likely saved me from further frustrations down the line. I called that other florist yesterday and the person I spoke with on the phone seemed very pleasant and asked some good questions, so I sent them an email detailing what we''re looking for w/ pictures. I''m eager to hear back and see what they say.

Thanks for letting me vent! It was good to just get the frustration out

(honey22, aww, please don''t stress! I think this was sort of just a freak incident. I talked to a lot of different vendors and this was the only one we really had any issues with (if they were out of our budget, they usually just told us upfront and it was no biggie). I''m even surprised just how flexible and accommodating some of them have been given all of the questions and changes we''ve asked about! So please don''t worry...at least it helps distinguish who is most likely going to have your best interest or not

 

[CJ2008]

Honey, I agree with what Newbie told you - don''t worry about the process. I think you need to be yourself - if you''re very detailed and need to ask a lot of questions/know everything (like me) you will find someone willing to work with you - in a way, think of it as YOU weeding out the vendors to see who you will work best with. I went back and forth quite a bit with two vendors before I hired my florist - I would not have been surprised if one of them said - well, are you going to hire me? haha But I think they were extra understanding because it was a long-distance wedding. As long as you''re not a witch, and are respectful of their time as well, vendors understand everyone has different needs.

 

[newbie124]

So I ended up emailing the new florist for a quote, but at the same time also started drafting an "acceptance" email to our original 2nd choice florist just in case.

Well, by the time I finished that email, I think I had pretty much convenience myself that we should just go with her. It almost just felt right by that point...plus, I didn''t get any kind of response back from the new people, and I was just getting antsy to have it all settled so yesterday I finally hit send!

I got an email back pretty quickly saying that she was really excited to be working with us as she really loves our look, it''s just up her alley, and she doesn''t always get the chance to do the things she loves best. So YAY!!! We have a florist!! And one that seems pretty interested in working with us to boot

So I guess in the end everything worked out for the best and I honestly have no regrets

 

[Sparkalicious]

Fantastic! Feels great, huh? It''s a win-win situation when you are working with someone who is excited to be working with you. You deserve nothing less.

Congratulations on securing a florist for your big day!

 

[Rhea]

Great news! I''m glad you have no regrets.