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Matata

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Bad, really bad day at work. Come home, need peace & quiet, need to relax. I change into comfy clothes and pad barefooted out of the bedroom. Brain registers something is amiss. What, oh what could it be. Brain fires off warning signal, "look down Matata, look down." Down I look to find I''m standing in a puddle of water outside the master bedroom door. Water is covering my feet. Primitive brain stem sends "this is not good" message to frontal lobes which are in denial regarding the situation. Frontal lobes misfire causing me to turn to scream at the cat who is dozing on the bed "What did you do you bad kitty, bad baaaaad kitty."

Run to kitchen, mix up vodka tonic to assist with cognitive functions. Run outside to shut off water to house. Run to yellow pages, start calling plumbers. Did you all know that even tho there are 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
plumbers listed and 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 of them claim to do 24 hour emergency service IT IS A LIE!!!!!!!!!!! The drain uncloggers are available 24 hours, not the plumbers. However to each inquiry of "what is the nature of your problem" from the 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 I had to tell the same story--water, deep, over feet, spreading quickly--only to hear 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 times that "sorry, we can come out to shut off the water but we can''t fix it until tomorrow."

Mix another vodka tonic. Page 5 of the plumbers, finally got someone willing to come to house. $359 for first hour and $85 per 15 minutes thereafter. Bladder is overflowing from 2 vodka tonic. "Come," I scream, "I don''t care how much it costs." Mix 3rd vodka tonic.

Altho there is a hole in the bedroom wall of significant proportions, vast acres of carpeting are soaked and squishy, and the cat refuses to speak to me, some good comes of this...

1. The plumber was a HUNK; I think I should have paid him more
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2. I wanted to repaint & replace carpet anyway
3. I found that I have more bladder control than I thought

G''nite ya''ll, thanks for listening.
 
Oh no! That happened to my parents too! We walked in from a vacation and water was everywhere. We borrowed my uncles wet vac!

I am sooooo sorry!!!!! That is awful; I am glad you finally found someone. Hang in there. Glad the guy was a hunk!
 
Dang, I was just about to go to bed when i noticed your thread, Matata! First of all, good for you for having the presence of mind to stir up a cocktail or two, and second, yay! for a hunky whatever the guy was, LOL! Seriously, though, sorry to hear about your situation and I hope tomorrow brings a quick fix to what''s happened. Nothing worse than coming home to find a disaster going on...
 
Oh no! How horrible! I love your sense of humor about it though! I hope tomorrow is a MUCH better day.
 
Matata, it is really hard to feel sorry for you when your post is so hysterical!
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I really am sorry, hope the clean up goes well.
 
Date: 6/14/2007 7:09:41 AM
Author: Ellen
Matata, it is really hard to feel sorry for you when your post is so hysterical!
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I really am sorry, hope the clean up goes well.
Same here, skip tonik next time
 
lmao....not funny, but so funny!
 
Matata, you poor thing!!! Thank god you had the presence or mind to deal with things in an orderly manner. Vodka first, plumbers later.

BTW, what caused the flood?
 
Date: 6/14/2007 9:53:48 AM
Author: Dee*Jay
Matata, you poor thing!!! Thank god you had the presence or mind to deal with things in an orderly manner. Vodka first, plumbers later.

BTW, what caused the flood?
LOL!!

And yes, what was it??
 
And I thought I had a bad day! You made me laugh though. Sorry and thanks!
 
I''m cracking up because that was almost exactly my reaction when I had a leaky roof and found out by stepping in a puddle in the hall. "hmm... something''s wet..." and then I yelled at the cats! To be fair, it usually IS the cats!

So what caused this mayhem? And did you get hunky plumber''s card for the next incident?
 
Oh NO!!!! How awful to come home to a flooded house. Glad you did get a hunk to fix it for you.
 
Oh Matata, I''m sorry but the way you told your story cracked me up. I love your sense of humour.
 
hilarious! your post, not the situation. i am so sorry that happened, esp after a bad bad day at work.

you sure the guy was a hunk? sure it wasn''t those 3 tonics talking? lol.
 
Eeek, just reading your thread made me nervous!
 
OMG that''s horrible...

For a second, i thought your cats turned on the faucets like mine did. Upstairs bathroom, which flooded the entire upstairs and leaked thru the carpet/floors down to the downstairs ceiling to the floors downstairs. i came home to find the whole downstairs flooded.

too bad my plubmer wasn''t a hunk.
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Matata, bless your heart for the humor. What a nightmare but your story had me in stitches girl. Like Irina said, next time (God forbid there is one)...forego the mixer and just take the alcohol straight.
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Date: 6/14/2007 9:53:48 AM
Author: Dee*Jay
Matata, you poor thing!!! Thank god you had the presence or mind to deal with things in an orderly manner. Vodka first, plumbers later.
BTW, what caused the flood?

The soldering came off a pipe in the wall. Plumber couldn''t figure out why it happened. As I type, the ServiceMaster guy is here; big orange tube is snaking thru the house & sucking out the swamp; blowers are everywhere. Looks like they can salvage the carpet (damn[
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() Not sure if drywall will need repairing. He hasn''t metered the liquid content of the walls yet. Cats are outside in the pussy penthouse wondering why they are being punished.

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Wow Matata I''m so sorry your house flooded! I have to agree that your post was utterly hilarious, as is this most recent one! I love the picture of the pussy penthouse LOL! I hope there''s not too much damage to your drywall and I must say that your attitude about the situation is GREAT. Good luck!
 
HI:

mmmmmm vodka........ Just kidding! So sorry for your trouble, but I will admit to laughing on how your told the tale....and those cats and the penthouse.... HA!

cheers--Sharon
 
well I wasn''t going to say anything but I think I''m going to have to switch to tequila shooters. ServiceMaster guy, butt crack, big dark hairy butt back. i''m feelin'' a tad queasy.
 
my kind of girl matata, finds joy in almost anything, i'll drink up for you today!
ETA as soon as i can - I DID NOT SEE YOU LAST POST!!!!
 
Date: 6/14/2007 8:10:42 PM
Author: Matata
well I wasn''t going to say anything but I think I''m going to have to switch to tequila shooters. ServiceMaster guy, butt crack, big dark hairy butt back. i''m feelin'' a tad queasy.
Oh no that is terrible! Your post made me laugh. I had a similar experience with the washer hose coming loose. Fortunately it was confined to the laundry room. Your butt crack line made me think of a time when DD was 2ish. Her word for ''butt'' was ''bumper''. A man was bent over, not unlike your guy, when my darling daughter poked him in the ass and in her sweet baby voice said, "Bumper!" He gave me a VERY dirty look when I quickly squirted alcohol based germ killing gel on her hands.

PULL UP YOUR PANTS PLUMBERS!!!!!

Good luck with your clean up Matata...Maybe the shooters will help!
 
OMG the cat penthouse in the back is a hilarious picture!!!

People, I''ve seen someone achieve STANDING crack. Yes, while STANDING I could see butt crack. Now that is a feat.
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quick hijack -- how do your cats normally like the penthouse? I''ve been thinking of getting one of those for Bill who longs to go outside.
 
Date: 6/14/2007 8:10:42 PM
Author: Matata
well I wasn't going to say anything but I think I'm going to have to switch to tequila shooters. ServiceMaster guy, butt crack, big dark hairy butt back. i'm feelin' a tad queasy.
Lovely. Ewwwww.
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LOL!
 
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