Wedding Uninvited friends of invited guests... problem?

[meresal]

Soemthing I have been thinking about, slightly worrying about, since last weekend, and IWPO''s thread made me realize this is happening to others as well...

We live in Houston, and last week a higschool aquaintance of FI''s was married in Galveston. We were not invited, I don''t know her and FI hadn''t spoken to her in probably 7 years, but quite a few of his friends were, by invitation I am not sure. For the couple weeks leading up to it, they were going around saying, "You all should come, it''s going to be so much fun." They had turned her wedding into a college party of sorts. This wasn''t happening to just us, they were saying it to lots and lots of people. I have a feeling this would only be in the young to mid 20''s crowd...

Has anyone had a problem with Invited guests going around inviting other people? How many "other" people ended up showing?

 

[Cleopatra]

DH and I had a friend - who was much like your own situation - we''ve known this guy for several years, but we are not close, but we have many mutual friends.

We jointly decided not to invite him because of space limitations, but he definitely came with a buddy of his who apparently told him that his invite must have "gotten lost in the mail".....

All in all, we had 1 person show who wasn''t invited by US - simply by word of mouth...

 

[meresal]

Cleo: I was thinking of you as well when I posted this... I still find it ironic how he was the first person that both you and your DH saw!!

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I read all post after post after post about people inviting themselves and I just can''t believe how many people DON''T GET IT!!!

If your name is not on an invitation.. you are not invited. Don''t call and ask if you are, don''t call and ask if your children are, and certainly don''t just show up!

Haha I am exasperated FOR you ladies having to deal with such rudeness.

 

[cbs102]

i am in a wedding in september and the bride is dealing with this now. a friend of the groom was invited.. not even with a +1... he literally added +1 and wrote in 2 for beef...

the bride later asked him about it and he said that he was bringing his buddy chris!! hahaha its not funny but so so rude i cannot believe it! he was bringing a friend to a black tie event just to take advantage of the open bar! people are unreal. they are up to capacity so the bride was like "no way". now the guy is not coming at all!

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 8/27/2008 1:01:18 PM
Author: cbs102
i am in a wedding in september and the bride is dealing with this now. a friend of the groom was invited.. not even with a +1... he literally added +1 and wrote in 2 for beef...

the bride later asked him about it and he said that he was bringing his buddy chris!! hahaha its not funny but so so rude i cannot believe it! he was brining a friend to a black tie event just to take advantage of the open bar! people are unreal. they are up to capacity so the bride was like ''no way''. now the guy is not coming at all!

Wait so is Chris like a date or just a random friend of his? That''s so rude.

I think though that when you get to a certain age, you''re kind of taken back when you''re expected to go alone. I went to a wedding at 20 and was dating some guy. He was not invited but I went alone and partied my booty off. I was in college and young and to me the wedding was just another party to go hang out. Now, at 26, I can''t imagine going to a wedding alone. I''ve gotten a couple of invites for just me due to space and I respectfully decline and send a gift. There was one wedding last year where I was invited alone and I went but only because my best friend was also invited alone. She was my date

 

[meresal]

Date: 8/27/2008 1:01:18 PM
Author: cbs102
i am in a wedding in september and the bride is dealing with this now. a friend of the groom was invited.. not even with a +1... he literally added +1 and wrote in 2 for beef...

the bride later asked him about it and he said that he was bringing his buddy chris!! hahaha its not funny but so so rude i cannot believe it! he was brining a friend to a black tie event just to take advantage of the open bar! people are unreal. they are up to capacity so the bride was like 'no way'. now the guy is not coming at all!

My FI doesn't understand this either. It is definitely a guy thing, AND a girl thing if they have never been a part of planning a wedding, or a member of PS.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/27/2008 1:12:47 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 8/27/2008 1:01:18 PM
Author: cbs102
i am in a wedding in september and the bride is dealing with this now. a friend of the groom was invited.. not even with a +1... he literally added +1 and wrote in 2 for beef...

the bride later asked him about it and he said that he was bringing his buddy chris!! hahaha its not funny but so so rude i cannot believe it! he was brining a friend to a black tie event just to take advantage of the open bar! people are unreal. they are up to capacity so the bride was like ''no way''. now the guy is not coming at all!

Wait so is Chris like a date or just a random friend of his? That''s so rude.

I think though that when you get to a certain age, you''re kind of taken back when you''re expected to go alone. I went to a wedding at 20 and was dating some guy. He was not invited but I went alone and partied my booty off. I was in college and young and to me the wedding was just another party to go hang out. Now, at 26, I can''t imagine going to a wedding alone. I''ve gotten a couple of invites for just me due to space and I respectfully decline and send a gift. There was one wedding last year where I was invited alone and I went but only because my best friend was also invited alone. She was my date

chris is a buddy.. a male buddy.. both guys -which would be fine if they were a couple.. but they are simply drinking buddies. the guest does not have a girlfriend and i guess it was discussed early on in the engagement that he would come alone because his sister is going and he has a ton of friends going. now he is not going at all which says alot about his character. i just think that people are so damn rude these days!

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 8/27/2008 12:43:27 PM
Author:meresal
Soemthing I have been thinking about, slightly worrying about, since last weekend, and IWPO''s thread made me realize this is happening to others as well...

We live in Houston, and last week a higschool aquaintance of FI''s was married in Galveston. We were not invited, I don''t know her and FI hadn''t spoken to her in probably 7 years, but quite a few of his friends were, by invitation I am not sure. For the couple weeks leading up to it, they were going around saying, ''You all should come, it''s going to be so much fun.'' They had turned her wedding into a college party of sorts. This wasn''t happening to just us, they were saying it to lots and lots of people. I have a feeling this would only be in the young to mid 20''s crowd...

Has anyone had a problem with Invited guests going around inviting other people? How many ''other'' people ended up showing?

oh! i totally understand. last year E & I were invited by Word of Mouth to a bacholor/bachorlette party...IN VEGAS. wft? I put my foot down on that one. The last wedding i went to, a couple people (including us, again, but also by B&G) were invited by word of mouth, but those wound up never showing. I am thinking (i hope) that if it is something important like a wedding, those invited by word of mouth already know, not to show up unless invited by the B&G.

 

[marchswallowbird]

I just have to shake my head at some of this. How can people think they can invite others to a party (and a WEDDING no less) if it''s not THEIR party? People just do not think.

 

[meresal]

Because lots of people don''t consider weddings anything other than a party these days... so why not invite the whole lot?!?!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 8/27/2008 3:47:21 PM
Author: meresal
Because lots of people don''t consider weddings anything other than a party these days... so why not invite the whole lot?!?!

Exactly! I mean it''s not every weekend you get a formal invite to a formal party. People just don''t get it. Fact of life, sadly. Maybe we should send manners pamphlets with invites these days?

 

[Diamond Confused]

I hope at the very least these people are bringing presents!

My friend used passes. She invited me my boyfriend and a good friend of mine (exboyfriend) she works with. The invitation included 3 passes. It made it very clear how many people I could bring. The passes were very pretty (matched the invitation) and were about the size of a business card.

 

[meresal]

I have actually contemplated doing tickets... we are thinking about having our reception at a baseball stadium and I thought it would be cute, AND a great way to keep the stragglers out

 

[doodle]

i saw an episode of whose wedding is it anyway? a while back where the bride actually got her best friend to play bouncer at the wedding to keep the uninviteds out. HOW SAD IS IT TO HAVE TO DO THAT??!?! i figure if someone is going to be that rude and presumptuous, i don''t feel rude at all in telling them, "i''m sorry, but your boyfriend of an hour, his mother, and the family golden retriever were not invited, but if you really feel the need to bring them, they''re more than welcome....TO SIT IN THEIR CAR IN THE PARKING LOT FOR THE ENTIRE NIGHT, THANKYOUVERYMUCH!" and as you all know, i am the epitome of grace, class, and fabulosity (i made up a word, WOOOOOO!), so this is perfectly acceptable.

um...maybe i shouldn''t have had that last margarita, hahaha!