Wedding Try dresses on my own, or wait for mom first?

[ladyciel]

I live in MI, my parents live in FL, and FI and I just got engaged early this month. I haven''t yet tried on dresses, but I have plans to go dress shopping with my mom when she visits next week. My problem is trying to decide which of the shops to visit, how many to try and cram into one afternoon, etc. Part of me thinks it may be wise to go check them out on my own first so I can just take her to the places I haven''t gone yet and/or to see the top contenders I found myself. The other part of me wants to wait and have her be there for my first experience putting on a wedding gown. That means she might not be there when I eventually find "the one", but then again there''s no guarantee of that happening even if I go hunting on my own first...

Basically, I need some advice from the pros!

 

[zoebartlett]

I voted for the second option. I went on my own first and then I brought my mom with me, once I had actually found ones worth considering. Although I probably tried on 10 dresses when I went by myself, we (the sales girl and me) had narrowed down the choices to three by the time my mom could come with me. It was pretty easy doing it that way, looking back.

 

[Mandarine]

I voted for Number 1...

I wish my mom would have been here!!!!.

That said, my personal opinion is that the *first* time you should go with someone close to you. It''s a special moment, you''d want to share with someone other than the ladies at the store. THEN I would go on my own because that''s when you will start trying on things YOU truly like.

M~

 

[Sabine]

I voted for 1, but I think it depends on what your relationship with your mom is like. Are you looking forward to having her gush over you as a bride and do you trust her taste as being somewhat close to yours? Or is she more likely to aggravate the process if you are trying on a large quantity of dresses by getting all emotional over EVERY dress and wanting to see you in styles she likes but you might not? I only ask cause my mom definitely falls into the second category, and I know if I tried to go to more than 2 stores with her I would have collapsed.

 

[ladyciel]

Date: 9/26/2007 7:39:22 PM
Author: Sabine
I voted for 1, but I think it depends on what your relationship with your mom is like. Are you looking forward to having her gush over you as a bride and do you trust her taste as being somewhat close to yours? Or is she more likely to aggravate the process if you are trying on a large quantity of dresses by getting all emotional over EVERY dress and wanting to see you in styles she likes but you might not? I only ask cause my mom definitely falls into the second category, and I know if I tried to go to more than 2 stores with her I would have collapsed.

My relationship with my mom is a good one, and I don''t expect problems with our tastes clashing or her being pushy. She''ll freely offer up her opinion, but she''s also good about looking at and hunting for things with the other person''s taste in mind. (She''s a realtor, so that ability is something she uses every day.) At Christmas I almost always get a piece of clothing from her about which she''ll say "I spotted that and had to get it because it looked like something you''d really love".

I think I''m mostly torn about whether I want to have her there for that first thrill of "oh my gosh I''m in a wedding dress!" and the thrill I expect to have when I find a candidate for "THE dress". On one hand, I might be able to have both if she comes with me for the first hunt and we have some success. On the other, if I go without her first, she''ll definitely miss thrill #1. She might, however, be more likely to get to see one or more of thrill #2. I know that when it comes time to make my final decision and order a dress, I''ll feel better about it if she''s seen me in it. If I can''t get pics of me in it before putting down money (stupid shop rules!), her seeing me in the dress might not be possible. Why can''t even the little things just be simple!?

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

I would look at a few without her. I love my mother and am very close to her. She also lives very close to me. However, She is only going dress shopping with me half the time and not the first time. I looked in the area and noiticed the more high end ones which she would like better and we are going to those together. She doesn't really have time to spend doing all the places with me. If your mom is only coming in for a little while then you may want to spend time with her doing other things too. Plus, she will still see the dress, even if you buy it without her. If you find the one before she gets there, you could take her to the place to see it so she is not really left out at all.

 

[monarch64]

I voted for #2, go get a feel for things on your own, that way you can be a bit more organized and make the most of her visit by making appointments at the places you really liked, etc. You don''t necessarily have to try anything on, but you can shop around and maybe put together an itinerary based on location/traffic/designers/etc. Good luck!

 

[door knob solitaire]

"oh my gosh I''m in a wedding dress!"

I can picture you behind the curtain...and looking in the mirror...you have to bite your lip to keep it from quivering...you are really are in a wedding dress and you have no one there that cares about it. You try to do a little jig...but you can''t because they can see your feet.

You know, the first time out...you don''t have to find THE dress...but the minute you are actually in a Wedding dress for the first time...well, I would want my mommie there. Not Irene...or Maybell...Irene and Maybell have a list of random recorded comments...

Irene, "Oh my gosh honey...that dress is sooo you! Don''t even think of trying another on..." or
Maybell, "You look like a current magazine cover, sugga!!"

Or your mom..."Sweetie, I have pictured this moment ever since you were a bundle of pink joy, thank you for sharing it with me"...

Oh I don''t know...Irene does make a great point! And you can trust her...she has nothing to gain!!

DKS

 

[havernell]

I think it''s possible to have a productive day of shopping with your mom without having to go to any of the salons prior to her visit. I found that you can do a lot of looking/narrowing down choices on both salons and dresses online before you go.

In terms of deciding which salons to visit, I elimiated some salons before I even set foot in them just by seeing (from the store website) which designers they carried and realizing (from the designer websites) that I didn''t like the general style of the gowns/ their gowns were too expensive for me, etc... So, you don''t have to go to the salons a head of time to know if they are worth a visit or not, just do some homework online (the Knot dress search function is good for giving you an idea of each designers price range).

Once you have determined which salons carry the designers you like/can afford, you can do even more homework online in order to maximize your time on the day you go to try on gowns. Go look again at the websites of the designer''s the bridal salons you are going to visit carry. Look at the dresses they are featurnig this season (i.e. Fall 2007) and also one or two season''s prior to the current season (since salon''s seem to keep dresses for a few seasons). You could even call the bridal salons to ask which seasons they still have in stock so you know how many seasons back you should look on the designers'' websites. Write down the style numbers/names of the dresses you want to try on from the websites, and then give that info to the consultant at the bridal shop when you go with your mom (or even call ahead so the salon can have those dresses already pulled when you get there). That way, you know your day will be spent trying on dresses that you like rather than just wasting time trying on random gowns. (However, there is also a value to trying on dresses that you don''t think you like based only on pictures because sometimes they end up looking great on you, but you could go to salons yourself after your mom leaves town to try on those types of gowns).

In terms of how many salons you can realistically visit in a day, my Mom and I generally did one salon in the morning (10-noon), had lunch (noon-1:30) and then did two more salons in the afternoon (one 1:30-3;30, the other 4-6 or something like that). This system worked well for us.

Good luck and have fun!

p.s. wear underwear that you don''t mind being seen in because the bridal consultants at the salons will be helping you into dresses and, therefore, seeing you in your skivvys! I also brought my own strapples bra, which was helpful.

 

[ladyciel]

DKS, you crack me up, and you''re probably right about me wanting to do a little jig! I did one today when I got somewhat good news from a bridal shop over the phone (they''re going to market this weekend and she''s going to look into the Maggie dress I want to try on).

Thanks for the tips, havernell! Did you find that you usually used the full 2 hours you allotted for each shop?

 

[havernell]

I usually did spend close to two hours in each bridal salon. But then again, even though I went in with a few specific dresses I wanted to try on, I also took the time to browse the rest of the gowns and try on lots of gowns that the bridal consultants suggested or that were silhouettes I hadn''t yet tried but was curious to see how they would look on me.

So, you may not need to spend quite two hours in each salon, especially if you only go to try on a few specific dresses, but I still think you should budget at least hour and a half at each salon just to be safe (afterall, it''s hard not to browse at least a little even if you are only planning to try on a handful of gowns).

Oh, and definitely call ahead to make an appointment at the bridal salons you want to visit. Most salons require appointments.

Have fun!!