Today is rough.....

[Abby12]

Today is rough. I have walked my dog, i have written in my journal. I have cried.
Adding to my grief is my upset about a condition that i have had for a long time. Acid reflux is very common, but what is not common is how mine presents itself. My throat is being damaged. No meds help and in fact all make me sick.
No alternative remedies have helped and i am not a candidate for surgery. So where does that leave me? High risk for throat cancer.
I wish i could find a way to make it better. 11 long years and nothing.
My husband would walk me through the days when i was down about this. Now not only do i have to do it alone, but i am also grieving losing him as well. I would rather grieve the loss of my best friend longer and harder than have to deal with this health condition.
I wish, i wish, i wish i could find the way to make it better.
I wish i could be free.

 

[Mayk]

Abby can you start an exercise routine that may be just walking to start with and work your way up? Do your health issues keep you from physical activity? Exercise releases natural endorphins that can be very healing and empowering.

I also started to volunteer after my divorce. I did a lot of work for the Cultural Center. I help with fund raisers. I also tried to do some work with the Battered Women's Shelter close to home. It felt great to help someone out that was worse off than I was... it was rewarding and it helped me focus on someone other than myself or my situation. I know someone recommended an animal shelter but sometimes working with other people who need help is helpful. Also, volunteer at a soup kitchen..can you cook? They are always looking for someone to help prepare meals or hand out dinners. Helping the people that are finding it hard right now to help themselves might help you too..

Just some suggestions.... dig deep.. find the strenght to pull yourself up...

 

[Tuckins1]

I'm sorry you're feeling bummed out today! Here are big ((((HUGS)))) for you!!! How about some flowers, they always cheer me up.

 

[junebug17]

Sorry you're having such a rough day Abby - it seems like weekends are particularly hard for you - maybe you could at least sit outside with your dog, go to a park with him and read or listen to music, just get out and get some fresh air at least, and be around people. If getting out is too much for you right now, maybe you could ask your sister or a friend to drop by just to chat for a while. Hang in there and remind yourself you won't always feel this way, this too shall pass. Things will get better, you just have to give it some time. I know it's easy for me to say, but it's true. You've got to try to believe that. Hugs to you - again, sorry to hear today's such a bad day and I hope you feel a little better soon.

 

[Abby12]

Thanks guys! Please hope that i find a way to get the reflux under control as well.....

 

[ruby59]

My daughter has acid reflex- GERD. Go see a good gastroenterlogist (sp). There are different medications that you can take. Also, stress makes the condition so much worse. Also, there are tips on certain foods to avoid, and not to lie down right after eating a meal. And raising the top of the bed so you are not lying flat helped her.

JMO, Abby, but it sounds like you still have feelings for this man. I think that is what you and a good therapist need to work through. Also, stress is a killer. If you need it, I would go to psychiatrist who can prescribe. Nothing wrong with a little somethin to get you through. Been there. And if you are carefully monitored like I was, there was no fear of addiction.

 

[Gypsy]

Have you tilted your bed? My aunt had bad acid reflux and putting a few beams of wood under the head, to tilt it helped her.

One day at a time Abby.

 

[Abby12]

Yup i have tried meds, tried diet, tried raising the bed, been to a surgeon etc.
My esophageal motility is weak. Iron can help with that in some people, but iron makes me get other digestive issues! Argh!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Abby, grief is a process, a long, messy, process with lots of layers. You are going to have good days and you are going to have rough days. Whatever you are feeling is temporary. The sadness, loneliness, resentment, anger, fear....won't last forever. You mentioned therapy. I sincerely hope you start soon because some things are too difficult to manage alone. Also there are support groups that can help you. Hearing other people with similar problems will instill hope and take away some shame.

As for the medical issues I am not a doctor but hope you find some relief soon. Hopefully once you start dealing with your emotional issues, your stress level will lower, which in return will help.

 

[decodelighted]

Having an adjustable bed has helped my GERD quite a bit. Divorce is a great time to go bed shopping! Hope you feel better again soon. Also look into recently developed food allergies that could be worsening the acid problem. And find some stress release activities. (Zumba? Tennis? Swing dancing lessons? Yoga?)

 

[isaku5]

You mentioned that you had tried the usual meds for GERD, but have you tried Pantoprazole?

Both DH and I had suffered with reflux/GERD for years and my esophagus was in horrible shape. Our doctor prescribed this drug for both of us. In about two weeks, we both had tremendous relief. Shortly after that, I had another xray done and my esophogus was well on its way to normality.

There are several brand names for the drug, but I thought the generic name might be of use to you.

You sound upset and depressed about your whole lifestyle at this time and stress makes the GERD worse as you probably know.

I know nothing about your marital situation so I won't comment.

Healing vibes are coming your way and bringing ((((((BIG HUGS)))))