Tipping

[Bunny007]

Hi guys! My wedding date is right around the corner and I'm trying to set aside tip envelopes for my vendors. I need guidance

We're paying $750 to get married in a Catholic church (I assume this was the donation). Do we also tip the priest?

Our photographer seems to be independent but also attached/linked some how to a more established photographer. I am not sure if he is the "owner" or not. Do I tip him? If so, how much? Do I tip the second photographer? How much? We're paying about $3,400.00 for photography.

Did you tip your DJ? I'm finding conflicting advice on the web.

Thanks for any insight!

 

[vc10um]

I can only tell you what we did, not what I think you should do because frankly I have no idea!

My mom just grabbed a bunch of $20s out of the ATM and doled them out as she saw fit.

Our church rental included the fees for the organist and officiant. My mother tipped them each after the ceremony, I think $20 and $60 respectively, just as a bit of a thank you.

Our photographer is self-employed and we had a second shooter. We did not tip them day-of, but I did send them $75 and $25 gift cards to their favorite coffee shop, respectively, after we received the DVDs of all our images.

My mother tipped the DJ, I think an extra $60 or $80 at the wedding because he helped us navigate a tough situation with grace (we had to change the entire timeline on the spot b/c our cake never showed and the caterers needed extra time to prepare a backup dessert).

We also tipped the hair stylist/makeup artist, who was self-employed and came to the hotel, and the driver of the rented Bentley. I think that was it...

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

 

[audball]

It's a tough subject. We're not even close to the point of having to consider tips, but the general response by google is that there are no rules.

I read something recently on Offbeat Bride that was a friendly reminder that tipping is for gratuity. Gratuity/gracious. Ie: did the vendor go above and beyond the call of their irresponsibility as a vendor to make your day special? Are you gracious for that?

Many suggested having envelopes ready and a stack of 20s and don't tip until the end of the night when you decide what you'd like to tip.

Think of it as this: when you go out to eat, do you automatically say waiter is getting 20%, 25%, etc? Not usually. Most people start with the metal number of a good tip (ie: 20%) and depending on the service throughout the night, that number may go up or down. You're less likely to overtip someone who was barely attentive.

Just my .02.

The article also went on to say (which is somewhat contradictory to what I've read here on PS), that you shouldn't consider whether or not the person is the owner of the company or an employee of the company in your tipping. If the owner is using an employee for the DJ services or as a second photographer, it's the owner's responsibility to compensate them for their time. You pay for the service as contracted and tip what you feel is appropriate regardless of "status".

Again, I haven't been through any of this myself, but that's some of the opinions I've seen in different contexts.

 

[TooPatient]

I was thinking about this too the other day as I was going through the budget. Is tipping above and beyond the "gratuity" already included in what some people are charging?
Our venue already tacks on a "gratuity" for the food prep/service, housecleaning, etc.

 

[audball]

I was thinking about this too the other day as I was going through the budget. Is tipping above and beyond the "gratuity" already included in what some people are charging?
Our venue already tacks on a "gratuity" for the food prep/service, housecleaning, etc.

From what I've read, yes. If there is an actual line item in a vendor contract for "gratuity", that is the gratuity unless you choose to give more.

It seems to get confusing when some vendors use terminology like "service fee" or other words which gets them more money, but in most cases isn't actually a gratuity that would go to the waitstaff, etc. If the word gratuity isn't expressly used, it is recommended to ask the vendor what the "service fee" covers so that you can be prepared.