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Wedding Tiny Groomsman/wedding coordinator vent

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Sabine

Ideal_Rock
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Aug 16, 2007
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Well, my wedding is a week away! I really thought I''d be more stressed out than I am, but for the most part, everything is coming together well. All of the major details are taken care of, and the only things I have left to do are write out the escort cards and make up our table numbers. FI is now in town and off too, so he will be helping, and we get to spend more time together!

But I do need to get 2 little annoyances off my chest so that I can stop thinking about them.

The first is our wedding coordinator. Our original coordinator, whom I loved, is now on maternity leave. Her replacement is the biggest scatterbrain ever! I''ve had my final count for the past week and a half. I met with her last week and gave it to her and asked for our total amount that we owe so I could pay her. She had to get back to me. I faxed her the seating chart with a cover page 2 days later again asking for our total. I called and left her a message again asking for it. And I still haven''t gotten it. We don''t "have" to pay until 48 hours before the wedding, but I would REALLY like the total to ease my mind on the whole wedding budget issue.

The second is going to take a bit longer to explain, so please forgive me, but it involves one of FI''s groomsmen (J). 2 weeks ago J got married, and FI was one of his groomsman. However, FI and I don''t live in the area anymore, and FI is a med. student who knew he would be on a time-consuming surgery rotation during this wedding. When J asked FI to be a groomsman, FI actually told him that he wasn''t sure he could because he didn''t know if he could get off enough time to make the trip in town for it. J said he didn''t care, FI could come to whatever he could make. Well, on the week of the wedding, FI got off the saturday of the wedding, but couldn''t get off the Friday for the rehearsal or the Thursday of the bachelor party. He asked every doctor he could. He missed the bachelor party, but on Friday, he told a little fib to leave an hour or 2 early, and called J telling him he would almost definitely be in time for the rehearsal. Then he got on the PA turnpike, but unfortunately, there was an accident in one of the tunnels, and what is normally a 4 hour trip became a 6 hour trip, so FI missed the rehearsal (but did make the rehearsal dinner).

Yesterday we spent the forth with J, his wife, and FI''s best man and his wife. J asked what time our rehearsal would be, and when I told him, he was very casually like, "oh, I won''t be able to make it, I have to work." His wife then explained that although he had asked off for Saturday a while ago, his boss had forgotten (he works in a bank), and when J reminded his boss, his boss was angry so he didn''t want to push it by asking to leave early on Friday too. J then pointedly said, this is NOT because you missed my rehearsal, which to me made it even more obvious that it pretty much was.

I understand that people''s lives can''t be put on hold for our wedding, and that people do need to work. But J lives in the town where we are getting married and would only have to leave work an hour early to make our rehearsal, and the thing that really bugs me is that he didn''t even bother to ask. FI did EVERYTHING possible to make J''s (and let him know WAY in advance that there was a chance he wouldn''t make it), and understood that it was a big deal that he couldn''t make it. What''s really bothering me is that J sees it as no big deal and isn''t even trying to find a way to make ours.

Okay, vent over. Back to all the happy, giddy, I''m getting married in a week joy!!!
 
I think you should give J the benefit of the doubt regarding what he should or shouldn''t have asked his boss for. No one should be made like they have to put their job in jeopardy over a wedding rehearsal. You could be totally wrong about his motives. Just let it go hun.

You''re going to be a Mrs. in a week
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When I saw the title of this post...I thought you actually meant a "Tiny groomsman" - as in, you had a mini-me-sized groomsman that you were having trouble finding a tux for =)

And then, he ran off with your wedding coordinator =)
 
I kind of have to stick up for J on this one. Perhaps you and your fiance work in an enviornment where it is more open/acceptable to ask for an hour to leave early for an important event. Not everyone is that lucky. Before the change in management in my department, I could ask to leave an hour early 5 minutes before I wanted to leave. Now, I can''t. Even if we travel back home on a Friday and get to Miami at 3:30, they expect us to go in to work even if for an hour. I have to ask for time off now for my best friend''s wedding in November!! It sucks but that''s how some managers are.

And I think that J''s comment about it not having to do anything with him not showing up for the rehearsal was more of a defense mechanism. I doubt he''s doing it maliciously...he probably just knows that the situation sucks and feels bad about it so he threw that in there to remind everyone that he was forgiving so you should be too. It''s immature of him but what are you going to do?

Enjoy your last week as a "single" girl
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Date: 7/5/2008 1:16:38 PM
Author: rockzilla
When I saw the title of this post...I thought you actually meant a ''Tiny groomsman'' - as in, you had a mini-me-sized groomsman that you were having trouble finding a tux for =)


And then, he ran off with your wedding coordinator =)

Haha, I just saw the title and thought the same thing, and it''s my own post!
 
I thought so, too...for sure I expected to open up this thread to see the little guy from Austin Powers whose in the news lately for some unmentionable videos...

Ha ha...and running off with the wedding coordinator! LMAO!

Sorry Sabine, that you''re having to deal with this, but I agree with the others and just think you need to let it go about the groomsman.

My coordinator decided to leave for her maternity leave this past Thursday, so I now have no idea who is in charge of my wedding when I get to Maui...both her and the chef will be gone. I am practicing my breathing techniques because I fear I may have a panic attack otherwise!!!

Hang in there...only a few days left to go!
 
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