Wedding this is going to be so awkward...

[bootsiekin]

My labmate tipped me off last week that our advisor wants to have a "party" for me instead of our regular lab group meeting tomorrow (my wedding is this Saturday). I was thinking maybe she feels bad because she isn''t coming to the wedding (probably because its a 4 hour drive from here) and wanted to do something nice. I am still hoping its just a little excuse for getting out of talking science and have cupcakes, etc instead.. but then my labmate brought up what if she is inviting other professors and the other grad students? Labmate sent me an email tonight and wrote, "Beware tomorrow."

What does that mean??

I am really nervous that this could be very awkward because the only person out of the whole school I invited was my advisor (and I mainly did that because she was invited to said labmates wedding in February). I didn''t invite the other grad students because I don''t really see them outside of school. Is there a way to be graceful about this? I am hoping no one is bringing gifts of any sort or I will feel horrible!!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Hm..I think the only way to be graceful would be to go. Even though you didn''t invite them I am sure they are excited and want to celebrate..I have a lot of friends I am not inviting from school, but they understand and are still excited. If they bring gifts, just accept them and send a thank you note. That''s what I think would be best, don''t feel bad!

 

[swingirl]

Most people understand that everyone who knows a couple won''t be invited to their wedding. Very few people extend invitations to colleagues from school or work because those relationships need to remain formal.

It sounds like your group wants to acknowledge your wedding and let you know that you are special. Allow them to celebrate with you and wish you well. Don''t feel obligated to throw out any invitations. It''s fine to say, "I wish you all could be there." Leave it at that. You could offer to bring in photos. And thank them for the party and well-wishes. They don''t expect to be invited.

Regarding gifts, they might go in on something together. I doubt they would bring you individual gifts. But I guess you will find out. Enjoy the effort and the party.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I remember at my old job when someone got married there would be a cake in the breakroom and then when they got back from their honeymoon or wedding they would put a couple of pictures from the event on the bulletin board and thank everyone for their well wishes or whatever they wanted to say. i would agree that they know not everyone can be invited but still want to acknowledge you have a good time and dont worry!

 

[VRBeauty]

If your wedding is less than a week away... anyone who attends the party already knows that they''re not invited, and they want to celebrate and wish you well anyway! I don''t think you have anything to feel awkward about. Ditto for anyone who brings or contributes to a gift. They understand what it''s like to be eking your way through school and want to make it just a teensy bit easier for you and your dear fiance as you start your lives together, or to give you something you probably wouldn''t splurge on for yourselves.

BTW chances are your profs have all been in this position before, and I''m guessing that most of them are grateful not to be invited.

Bottom line: enjoy the party!

 

[purrfectpear]

We always have a little mini office party when someone is getting married, and as coworkers we aren''t all expecting an invite. Yes, gifts may be given. There''s nothing to feel awkward about. Just send thankyous after.

 

[neatfreak]

I wouldn''t worry about it. I don''t think that anyone in your lab would feel forced to give you a gift. I would assume that any gifts you get are genuinely and warmly given, and then reciprocate with a thank you card and maybe a picture of the two of you after the wedding.

 

[bootsiekin]

Thanks ladies!

Thats a relief to know that this happens in the workplace..In my short time working between degrees I had attended a few work baby showers, but no wedding celebrations, so I was glad to hear that Smurfy and purrfectpear have had this happen. I will try not to worry about it over the next 3 hours until it happens!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

be sure to let us know the fun details! i love hearing about bridal showers and other parties like this