The Holiday Get-Togethers

[seaurchin]

I hear a lot about holiday drama and was just thinking how happy I am not to have it anymore myself (knock on wood). My philosophy is to keep it light. For ex:

If someone has a scheduling conflict, okay, we can catch up on a different day.

I buy my own big gift, and give others what they asked for, a few little gifts, cash or a combo of the three as appropriate. It would probably hurt my feelings if I didn't get anything and no excuse was offered, but I don't care I get.

We hold the gatherings at our home because we are the "head of the family." But if someone else offered, that would be okay too. And if I didn't feel up to it for some reason I'd make reservations, occasionally. I do not knock myself out, setting myself up to be resentful or worn out, but keep decorations to a minimum and include some store bought foods.

To me, Christmas is a bit more special than other days but not the event of the century.

You?

 

[YadaYadaYada]

We look very forward to the holidays because it’s all about getting together with my husband’s family. All the kids get along really well and it’s just an all around good time. That being said, I don’t host any holidays so maybe that skews my perception.

We see them for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas so a lot of get-together coming up

 

[seaurchin]

One thing that's brought about my "keep it light" philosophy for special occasions, is the whole idea of people getting stuck on how things "should" go.

For ex. I've had two different new-ish friends make a big deal about my birthday, at different times.

And then guess what's expected when their birthday comes around. Sigh. No dig to anyone who likes to celebrate their birthday in style but to me, all the hoopla is what I'd usually do for a child's birthday. I don't find much meaning in it for myself, aside from keeping the gifts and celebrations to my few closest family members. I do enjoy that but if you get all that going with many people at all, it adds up to a lot of effort and money that I just don't want to have to keep up on.

What I did both times above was reciprocate with a scaled down response when their birthdays rolled around, then waited a while and mentioned that birthday gifts and celebrations weren't really my thing. But the next year, guess what they both did again? Surprise!

Someone was telling me about how her MIL always put on an elaborate feast for Thanksgiving, X-mas and Easter, then played the martyr and/or got nasty when everyone else didn't fall into line well enough for her, which they rarely did. It seems obvious to me that the other family members didn't want to put that much into it and did not really care if she did or not, but they were never consulted.

Other holiday topics: Craziness, drunkenness, greediness and stinginess lol.

 

[Missy]

We hold the gatherings at our home because we are the "head of the family."

My parents hold most of the holiday gatherings because that is what they want to do. We generally do (with the exception of the past two years during the pandemic) Father's Day and Thanksgiving. My sister does Mother's Day and NYE. And my parents do the rest.

Greg and I always hosted Thanksgiving at our NYC home. I always looked forward to it with great excitement.

I prefer hosting as I am in my own comfortable space and then also no one needs to go to extra trouble to prepare what I can eat. I don't eat what everyone else does so it can be a hassle for my family to prepare for me. I won't eat turkey or chicken or meat etc. So when we host that stress is off the table. It was a lot of work for Greg since he is the chef. But all in all it was always a lot of fun.

Since Covid we have not hosted any holidays nor will we be attending Thanksgiving at my parents who are hosting this year. I don't feel comfortable being inside with others yet without masks on and you cannot eat with a mask on. Unfortunately my parents won't consider doing Thanksgiving outdoors so we won't be attending.

Other holiday topics: Craziness, drunkenness, greediness and stinginess lol.

There usually is no family holiday drama and in that regard we are pretty lucky. My family is sane, generous and wonderful. Objectively speaking. Yes my mom can drive me crazy like many mother daughter relationships but we love each other and we like each other too. I am sad about missing another year of holiday gatherings. Though sometimes it feels like an obligation we always end up enjoying a wonderful time.

I am missing the warm cheer of our family gathered together at our home and yummy baking smells all around the house.



And missing our walks with my nieces during the crisp cool November Thanksgivings.






The girls are growing up fast. Time doesn't wait.




Looking forward to Covid free Holidays. For everyone.

 

[dk168]

Grumpy here in that I actively choose to be on my own on the big days on 25 and 26 December, have done so for many years, as I hate family related drama especially with people I do not know well.

The last time I spent Christmas with someone other than an OH/SO was in mid 00's with my late partner's mother when he was still alive in 2006.

She threw a wobbly when we were having dinner on 24 December, as she objected to my late partner and I holding hands at the table.

I appreciate it was her house, her rules, however, the wobbly came without any warning, which took us aback.

So we packed up and left. While I waited at the car for him, he said something in the line to her that if she could not be nice/civilised when he and I came to visit, then I would not come again with him.

The following year, he went to visit her without me throughout the year, and also before the big days in December 2007, so that he could spend them with me before his untimely death in November 2008.

The time before that was with my then hubby's family back in the mid 90s. Again, there was drama, and I was in tears on 24 December, and swore I would never spend another Christmas with his family, and I didn't. To this day I am the wicked witch of the East to them.

Much better on my own with just the pets for company, with my own schedule and full control of the TV remote control, eat and drink whatever I fancy without having to look after or care for anyone else.

This year may be different, in that I may help with cooking meals for charities, have to wait and see if I am needed.

DK

 

[Arcadian]

For holidays we go out for dinner.

I'm thankful that being in Florida, eating outside isn't a big deal.

 

[lambskin]

My house. I do everything. I mean EVERYTHING!

 

[MamaBee]

I have to say I put stress on myself. I do have to get the house in order..make sure the beds all have clean sheets and blankets..food for everyone..etc. It’s a lot. Every year I try to do less so I don’t wear myself out. It’s just me doing everything..We’ll see..

 

[kenny]

As you know I don't do holidays ... any of them.
Not at all.
I can't figure out why I did all that stuff, while hating it but pretending I enjoyed it, year after year.

My SO sees his family ... without me.
They understand to not invite me.

Ahh, Kenny Holidays!
Zero stress.
It's wonderful!

Just another day.
Well, not exactly.
Dec 25 and Superbowl Sunday are the best days of the year to go for a long drive in sunny Southern California.

Of course, we vary so everyone should do whatever they like.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

I do Christmas! My house is open to any of my friends or hubby's friends/family who have noone to celebrate with on Christmas Day or who don't want to see their family because their family is crazy.

Oddly enough this has also included my parents over the years because they are disorganised and combative when they try to hold their own gatherings. However they are fairly peaceful when they show up at my place.

We also do a group Christmas Potluck with all my friends. This is always about two weeks before Christmas and we have a date organised already this year.

I think with the lessons learnt in regards to Covid, I will have as many gatherings as possible. Life is short and who knows when the next lockdown will come (haha it's Australia after all and no one locks down like Australia!). I don't want to keep waiting one more year, then another year and then possibly forever to see my friends and family. I locked down (twice), got my vaccine, did what I was told. I shall see my friends dammit!!!! =P

 

[CMN]

I host Christmas Day lunch. I try to go all out with great food and have different floral table arrangements each year. It is a lot of work but I also really like doing it as a way of contributing to the family.

 

[tyty333]

Before Covid, we would have the family over for Christmas Eve dinner. People always volunteered to bring a dish so I was only
responsible for the big items which took a lot of stress off. Then Christmas day we had lots of good leftovers and I was off the
hook for cooking or visiting anyone. So nice to have Christmas day stress free!

Thanksgiving was either at my house or my parents. Again, everyone helped out by bringing a dish. I managed to adopt the
attitude that I have no one to impress so if its less than perfect it will be just fine! A glass or two of wine while preparing
dinner didn't hurt either!

Really, the holidays are for fun and enjoying each other's company so I try not to put too much pressure on myself!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I do Christmas! My house is open to any of my friends or hubby's friends/family who have noone to celebrate with on Christmas Day or who don't want to see their family because their family is crazy.

Oddly enough this has also included my parents over the years because they are disorganised and combative when they try to hold their own gatherings. However they are fairly peaceful when they show up at my place.

We also do a group Christmas Potluck with all my friends. This is always about two weeks before Christmas and we have a date organised already this year.

I think with the lessons learnt in regards to Covid, I will have as many gatherings as possible. Life is short and who knows when the next lockdown will come (haha it's Australia after all and no one locks down like Australia!). I don't want to keep waiting one more year, then another year and then possibly forever to see my friends and family. I locked down (twice), got my vaccine, did what I was told. I shall see my friends dammit!!!! =P

Did you do anything for the Melbourne cup today ?

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Well just recently was my Hawaii (aka 50th) and we had pizza delivered
I dont do big celebratory birthdays
except 23rd Sept which is Bruce Springsteen's birthday and i usually take the day off work, have champaign breakfast just listening to him all day on my own - some times its the best day of the year

Due to the pandemic we'll be staying home for Christmas just us two and the two kitties, the traffic will be a bi*ch to head to Wellington/ kapiti and its just not worth the stress

we will have nice things to eat, with salad and new potatoes, strawberries, pavalova etc because its summer and we may or may not buy presents for each other
We will still have an enjoyable day without all the major hoop la and there will be leftovers for boxing day

I surpose there will be a Christmas tree thread soon

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

We will go to my Mother's house (all vaccinated and boosted per age group) for breakfast. We will quickly visit FIL since they are also all vaccinated, we will NOT visit MIL since she is not.