I have de-lurked myself to let all of you know how much I have enjoyed reading your adventures on this forum. I found this site when I was very impatiently waiting for my engagment ring last fall - the "Ladies In Waiting" made me laugh, made me cry, and held my (virtual) hand over those looooong months - then I got engaged (YAY!), and the "Brides World Wide" forum became my cyber-lifeline to sanity throughout the wedding planning EXTRAVAGANZA.
Now I''m two weeks out from my wedding, and as a thank you to ALL of you for the support you never knew you were providing to me, I give you my personal version of:
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The Five Phases of Wedding Planning
Phase One: Conceptualizing
Wherein you have just gotten engaged and begun to visualize what sort of wedding you want, and are still thinking of it as ONE BIG ENTITY, not as the ZILLIONS of tiny decisions you will soon be forced to make. Not to mention the HUNDREDS of hours of your time and the ENDLESS tanks of gas that will be required in the making of all of those decisions! The wedding date seems EONS away.
Typical dialogue during phase one: “It’s not gonna be THAT hard. All I have to do is book a venue, photographer, bakery, florist, some musicians, figure out my dress and the bridesmaid dresses.... that’s pretty much it!”
Phase Two: Overconfidence
Wherein you have booked your venue and your major vendors, and are FIRMLY convinced that you’ve DONE most of the real work already! And you still have MONTHS till the wedding! No sweat!
Typical dialogue during phase two: “We’ve got the big stuff lined up, my dress is being made,... it’s just details from here on out. I don’t know WHY people make such a big deal about wedding planning.... it’s not hard at ALL!!! I could TOTALLY do this for a living!”
Phase Three: Denial
Wherein it is 3-4 months until the wedding, and even though the “needs to be done sometime before the wedding” list is getting frighteningly long....not to worry. You still have MONTHS... everything will fall into place.... right?
Typical dialogue during phase three: “Yeah, I guess we do need to start THINKING about attendant gifts, and invitations, and where to have the rehearsal dinner, and, oh yeah, our wedding bands.... but we’ve still got PLENTY of time....”
Phase Four: Panic
Wherein there are about 2 months until the wedding, you’ve just had your bridal shower, and suddenly your wedding date seems a LOT closer, and much more REAL - virtually overnight. You create spreadsheets and write post-it notes to yourself as you scramble madly to get things done and check them off your ever-growing list. Frustration mounts as people don’t return your calls, the smallest tasks seem to take forever to accomplish, and you begin to COMPREHEND why women bitch and moan about planning their weddings. Some of the things that were “MUST HAVES” at the beginning of the planning process have been scratched off the list -- that''s one less thing to deal with. Screw sentimentality at this point – YOU JUST WANT TO BE DONE. And as an ADDED bonus, during phase four, the financial reality of just how much all of this is really going to cost starts to dawn on the happy couple.
Typical dialogue during phase four:
“We have to get the guest list finalized! One big list or an A-list and a B-list? NAPKINS! What about napkins? How are we going to pay for all of this? Where should we have the rehearsal dinner? Nobody will call me back! We’re running out of time! What have I been DOING the last 4 months???? I HATE THIS!!!!! Tell me one more time why we didn’t elope?”
Phase Five: Coasting
Wherein it is less than a month until the wedding. ALMOST everything is done. It really IS just details from here on out. You are starting to think about being MARRIED, instead of being focused only on the wedding. You no longer wake up with a lumpy ball of panic in your chest. You have made it to the other side. Well.... almost!
Typical dialogue during phase five: “I can’t wait till our wedding day... it’s gonna be so fun... I love our band... the food is gonna be great... I can’t wait to see everybody.... everything FINALLY feels like it’s under control. Oh man... something just occurred to me.... what am I gonna do with myself when I no longer have this huge project to work on????”
****
My sincere best wishes to a group of wonderful ladies!
Now I''m two weeks out from my wedding, and as a thank you to ALL of you for the support you never knew you were providing to me, I give you my personal version of:
****
The Five Phases of Wedding Planning
Phase One: Conceptualizing
Wherein you have just gotten engaged and begun to visualize what sort of wedding you want, and are still thinking of it as ONE BIG ENTITY, not as the ZILLIONS of tiny decisions you will soon be forced to make. Not to mention the HUNDREDS of hours of your time and the ENDLESS tanks of gas that will be required in the making of all of those decisions! The wedding date seems EONS away.
Typical dialogue during phase one: “It’s not gonna be THAT hard. All I have to do is book a venue, photographer, bakery, florist, some musicians, figure out my dress and the bridesmaid dresses.... that’s pretty much it!”
Phase Two: Overconfidence
Wherein you have booked your venue and your major vendors, and are FIRMLY convinced that you’ve DONE most of the real work already! And you still have MONTHS till the wedding! No sweat!
Typical dialogue during phase two: “We’ve got the big stuff lined up, my dress is being made,... it’s just details from here on out. I don’t know WHY people make such a big deal about wedding planning.... it’s not hard at ALL!!! I could TOTALLY do this for a living!”
Phase Three: Denial
Wherein it is 3-4 months until the wedding, and even though the “needs to be done sometime before the wedding” list is getting frighteningly long....not to worry. You still have MONTHS... everything will fall into place.... right?
Typical dialogue during phase three: “Yeah, I guess we do need to start THINKING about attendant gifts, and invitations, and where to have the rehearsal dinner, and, oh yeah, our wedding bands.... but we’ve still got PLENTY of time....”
Phase Four: Panic
Wherein there are about 2 months until the wedding, you’ve just had your bridal shower, and suddenly your wedding date seems a LOT closer, and much more REAL - virtually overnight. You create spreadsheets and write post-it notes to yourself as you scramble madly to get things done and check them off your ever-growing list. Frustration mounts as people don’t return your calls, the smallest tasks seem to take forever to accomplish, and you begin to COMPREHEND why women bitch and moan about planning their weddings. Some of the things that were “MUST HAVES” at the beginning of the planning process have been scratched off the list -- that''s one less thing to deal with. Screw sentimentality at this point – YOU JUST WANT TO BE DONE. And as an ADDED bonus, during phase four, the financial reality of just how much all of this is really going to cost starts to dawn on the happy couple.
Typical dialogue during phase four:
“We have to get the guest list finalized! One big list or an A-list and a B-list? NAPKINS! What about napkins? How are we going to pay for all of this? Where should we have the rehearsal dinner? Nobody will call me back! We’re running out of time! What have I been DOING the last 4 months???? I HATE THIS!!!!! Tell me one more time why we didn’t elope?”
Phase Five: Coasting
Wherein it is less than a month until the wedding. ALMOST everything is done. It really IS just details from here on out. You are starting to think about being MARRIED, instead of being focused only on the wedding. You no longer wake up with a lumpy ball of panic in your chest. You have made it to the other side. Well.... almost!
Typical dialogue during phase five: “I can’t wait till our wedding day... it’s gonna be so fun... I love our band... the food is gonna be great... I can’t wait to see everybody.... everything FINALLY feels like it’s under control. Oh man... something just occurred to me.... what am I gonna do with myself when I no longer have this huge project to work on????”
****
My sincere best wishes to a group of wonderful ladies!
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