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- Dec 31, 2006
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Actually, I don''t at all expect a thank you note...a quick 2-minute call would do! a text would do! You get the point.
I agree that the parents should TOTALLY be setting the example. Without getting into too much details, let''s just say that we know it might fall on deaf ears or start a huge feud.
As far as starting a feud with her, that''s not my intention. And I wouldn''t explain anything to her because there''s nothing to explain...if DH and I make the decision that we''re OK with scaling back the gifts and we''re doing it so that so we don''t build resentment, and that in turn allows us to be MORE loving and open with her, I think that''s actually a great outcome. And I do think, like I said earlier, that it''s too early to know how we will really feel as time passes - perhaps when Christmas comes around we''ll look at each other and say, "let''s send her this - she''ll love it."
And if that''s what happens it''s because we did that from a loving place - and because we''ve accepted and are ok with her not acknowledging the gifts - but not out of fear of starting a feud with her. After all, there''s a million reasons why we might have to scale back gifts...wouldnt'' be a bad lesson for her to learn that it''s not always about gifts - you can show you care and love someone in other ways, and that can change over time depending on circumstances.
We often remind her that we''re here for her...
I agree that the parents should TOTALLY be setting the example. Without getting into too much details, let''s just say that we know it might fall on deaf ears or start a huge feud.
As far as starting a feud with her, that''s not my intention. And I wouldn''t explain anything to her because there''s nothing to explain...if DH and I make the decision that we''re OK with scaling back the gifts and we''re doing it so that so we don''t build resentment, and that in turn allows us to be MORE loving and open with her, I think that''s actually a great outcome. And I do think, like I said earlier, that it''s too early to know how we will really feel as time passes - perhaps when Christmas comes around we''ll look at each other and say, "let''s send her this - she''ll love it."
And if that''s what happens it''s because we did that from a loving place - and because we''ve accepted and are ok with her not acknowledging the gifts - but not out of fear of starting a feud with her. After all, there''s a million reasons why we might have to scale back gifts...wouldnt'' be a bad lesson for her to learn that it''s not always about gifts - you can show you care and love someone in other ways, and that can change over time depending on circumstances.
We often remind her that we''re here for her...