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- Dec 31, 2006
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I would love some advice/ideas on how to handle this.
The last couple of times we sent our teenage niece a gift, she didn''t acknolwedge them. She turned 16 last week and we wanted to send her something extra special, so we sent her a white gold/diamond bracelet that cost $120. We felt it was a pretty special gift.
She still hasn''t called to say thank you (and it''s not a matter of the package not having been delivered).
We know she doesn''t have good parent role models AT ALL - so we make it a point to be good examples. I don''t remember exactly how we handled the last time she didn''t acknowledge a gift, but I think we might have called to ask her if she got it, and then at some point explained to her that it''s proper to acknowledge gifts and that it kind of hurts not to hear from her because we put thought and time into the gifts we send her. We''re always careful to "lead" and teach her while still showing her that we love her even if she makes a mistake.
I don''t know how we should handle this one. I am certain she knows she should have called but doesn''t. In other words I believe it registers with her that she should call but she chooses not to. Now, understand I do not hold this against her - I know she''s angry about a lot of things in her life, and I understand that even though we don''t deserve it, it''s not personal, it''s a lashing out at the universe. Plus, she''s a teenager and has her 1000 things that take priority and are much more fun than calling us.
Regardless of WHY she doesn''t call, though, we want to make sure we don''t excuse things we shouldn''t - we just want to do it in a way that really makes her think for herself and hopefully inspires her to do the right thing. I don''t want her calling just because someone tells her to, I always hope she WANTS to call. And even if she doesn''t really want to (hey, I hate the phone as much as the next person) that she understands you just DO certain things sometimes because it''s the right thing.
So I believe we already did the explaining to her why she should call, the explanation of how it makes us feel when she doesn''t, and I''m sure at some point I''d told her that hey, we won''t keep you on for a long time, but we do want to hear from you.
My instincts tell me we need to do something different this time, although I''m not sure what. Sometimes it''s hard because I want to strangle her (not over this necessarily, but other things that she says and does) but I know that''s not the way to reach her. Not easy. What else do you think we could do? Or is it as simple as explaining it again?
The last couple of times we sent our teenage niece a gift, she didn''t acknolwedge them. She turned 16 last week and we wanted to send her something extra special, so we sent her a white gold/diamond bracelet that cost $120. We felt it was a pretty special gift.
She still hasn''t called to say thank you (and it''s not a matter of the package not having been delivered).
We know she doesn''t have good parent role models AT ALL - so we make it a point to be good examples. I don''t remember exactly how we handled the last time she didn''t acknowledge a gift, but I think we might have called to ask her if she got it, and then at some point explained to her that it''s proper to acknowledge gifts and that it kind of hurts not to hear from her because we put thought and time into the gifts we send her. We''re always careful to "lead" and teach her while still showing her that we love her even if she makes a mistake.
I don''t know how we should handle this one. I am certain she knows she should have called but doesn''t. In other words I believe it registers with her that she should call but she chooses not to. Now, understand I do not hold this against her - I know she''s angry about a lot of things in her life, and I understand that even though we don''t deserve it, it''s not personal, it''s a lashing out at the universe. Plus, she''s a teenager and has her 1000 things that take priority and are much more fun than calling us.
Regardless of WHY she doesn''t call, though, we want to make sure we don''t excuse things we shouldn''t - we just want to do it in a way that really makes her think for herself and hopefully inspires her to do the right thing. I don''t want her calling just because someone tells her to, I always hope she WANTS to call. And even if she doesn''t really want to (hey, I hate the phone as much as the next person) that she understands you just DO certain things sometimes because it''s the right thing.
So I believe we already did the explaining to her why she should call, the explanation of how it makes us feel when she doesn''t, and I''m sure at some point I''d told her that hey, we won''t keep you on for a long time, but we do want to hear from you.
My instincts tell me we need to do something different this time, although I''m not sure what. Sometimes it''s hard because I want to strangle her (not over this necessarily, but other things that she says and does) but I know that''s not the way to reach her. Not easy. What else do you think we could do? Or is it as simple as explaining it again?