Talk to me about depression, anxiety and bi-polar disorder

[whitewave]

@Phoenix , my sister has had court mandated psychiatric therapies. It's pointless. She officially has borderline personality disorder (but has assaulted people unlike most), is a sociopath, is a narcissist, and has had depression identified at age 13. She has been in jail twice that I know of. Once for forging prescription meds. I don't have any contact with her. Nor do her 2 adult kids. She began abusing drugs including IV drugs when she was a young teen. She is now 60 years old. Some people can't be helped. And some who could be helped by a professional, refuse treatment because they are either afraid, or because they don't really want to give up their "highs" (ie gambling, drugs, other negative behaviours).

Do we have the same sister (mine somehow has managed to avoid jail, I have no idea how)?

Mine is belligerent, hugely manipulative, destructive to anyone in her orbit, is a emotional vampire, unmedicated and can talk her way into anywhere under any circumstances.

I have consulted priests, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, doctors, etc about her condition and if she could ever get better.

They all told me to stay as far away from her as possible and keep my kids away from her too. (Which I gladly did)

She is a stalker and a trespasser. She has gotten worse over time.

With unmedicated mentally ill people, it is going to go how it is going to go with them and there is not one thing you can do about it. Most of the time there is also no low they won’t reach. They don’t bottom out and get help. It just keeps getting worse and worse I guess until they die. (However that happens).

My advice is start learning how to detach from him and start moving him down the way in your life. Start now, so when it gets really bad with him, you will have already been divested in his life.

 

[Wanaka]

@Phoenix you sound like you have a big heart and what a wonderful friend you are. It's commendable that you want to help your friend, but please remember that you can only help those who are willing to help themselves. Please, for your own health, set up boundaries so that your own emotional and mental health does not go spiralling down into a dark place along with your friend. BIG HUGS and please call on us if you need any help in that regard. Lots of love and good thoughts going your way!

 

[Phoenix]

That IS sad! There are tons of diamonds over 3 cts and up to about 9 posted on this forum. Your diamond looks so beautiful! I hope one day you'll feel that you can post!

I second this.

@Alexiszoe , that ring is indeed DROOLWORTHY!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I’m a behavioral health specialist, and mostly work with teens, a population notorious for simultaneously wanting and refusing help. I love it though.
Solid advice in the thread so far about keeping yourself healthy and level headed first and foremost. And that the first and critical step is him being open to getting help. I find that people are open to change during dark moments but the motivation can be fleeting when they wake up the next day and convince themselves things aren’t that bad. If your friend ever does agree that he needs something to change (and that’s what it is really, deciding that where you are isn’t where you want to be. Doesn’t have to be about diagnosis.) I would suggest encouraging him to commit to a concrete goal you can try to help him keep like “ok. Tomorrow we will call xyz places and make an appointment”. He may try not to do it but it at least makes him feel more accountable. There are a lot of people who will say “yeah but how will seeing a therapist/doctor help me?” And to that I often say “and how will doing nothing help? How has doing the same thing been working out for you?”.

And trust your gut. If things start to feel scary and you are worried for his life, call 911.

Of course, as others have said, he is ultimately his own responsibility. There is no fault in deciding you need to walk away.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Also, I wanted to share this. One of my favorite depictions of what severe depression can be like. It’s a short read, a first person account that is funny and also heart wrenching.

Warning: has swearing and discusses suicide

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html?m=1