taking maiden name as middle name

[JR320]

Did anyone make their maiden name their middle name or hyphenate?

I want to keep my maiden name as my middle and drop my given middle name. I''ve already been to the SSA and they said it was fine and my new SS card should be on the way. So today, I went to the DMV with my marriage license and receipt from the SSA. They would not make a new DL with my new middle initial and said that I couldn''t change my middle name without going in front of a judge and getting a court order! They said you had to do the same to hyphenate. I find this really ironic since the SSA was willing to print a new card?

Has anyone else run into this?

 

[NewEnglandLady]

What state are you in, JR?

There are a couple of threads on this (one is just a few below this one).

The law varies by state. I live in MA where any middle name change requires a court order. If the DMV wouldn''t change your middle name without a court order, it sounds like you probably live in a state that requires a legal name change through the court. The SSA may have printed you a new card with your maiden name as your middle name, but that does not make it legal...it would be considered a cosmetic change, but any legal document would still need to be signed in your legal name.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 1/7/2010 8:19:05 PM
Author:JR320
Did anyone make their maiden name their middle name or hyphenate?

I want to keep my maiden name as my middle and drop my given middle name. I've already been to the SSA and they said it was fine and my new SS card should be on the way. So today, I went to the DMV with my marriage license and receipt from the SSA. They would not make a new DL with my new middle initial and said that I couldn't change my middle name without going in front of a judge and getting a court order! They said you had to do the same to hyphenate. I find this really ironic since the SSA was willing to print a new card?

Has anyone else run into this?

Changing of the surname, or last name is the only thing your marriage license/divorce decree covers. Otherwise, yes, to change a first or middle name you have to appear in court first. When I was growing up one of my brother's guy friends changed his first name legally from Jamie to his prior middle name, Scott, and had to appear in court with his parents (he was underage at the time) to do so. ETA: I defer to NEL's above comments regarding state laws.

 

[JR320]

So sorry to repeat this conversation in a new thread... I''m from Ohio, so I didn''t even open the MA thread at first.

I get the concept, but I still find it surprising that the SSA made the change on my SS card. Is a SS not a legal document?

My husband is an attorney and he practices in both OH and WV. According to the OH bar association, he says that a woman can legally change add her husband''s name to the end of her name or hyphenate by notifying the SSA, DMV, etc.
I''m wondering if this is just something that is beginning to come into Ohio.

fyi - he also noted that "signed" "includes any symbol executed or adopted with present intention to adopt or accept a writing" meaning that you can sign your name as X or "mickey mouse" or whatever you want and if you say its your signature then it is.

 

[Octavia]

Date: 1/7/2010 9:19:20 PM
Author: JR320
I get the concept, but I still find it surprising that the SSA made the change on my SS card. Is a SS not a legal document?

Yes, but not the way you think. The federal government (which SSA falls under) doesn''t control people''s legal names, states do. As long as you have the documentation SSA needs to make the changes in their system, they''ll do it -- but it''s not your "legal name" until it''s recognized as such by your state of residence. It''s backward that many states require the name to be changed on the SS card first, but that''s the way it is...and the state sets the rules about name-changing. This is why it''s easy for women in some states to change maiden to middle, but requires jumping through hoops in others. Also why men can take their wives'' names at marriage in a handful of states, but have to get a court order to do so in most states.

Tracking of names is pretty haphazard anyway, since in my state (PA) someone with no driver''s license would have no proof of name change whatsoever, because our marriage licenses don''t ask about names before and after marriage. For a woman who merely drops her last name and takes her husband''s, the name change could be legal (because it''s allowed by law) but not actually recorded anywhere by the state. Go figure.

 

[EHR2009]

WHAT!?! I''ve never heard of that! I am in Missouri, and I didn''t have that problem at all. I actually kept my middle name and added my maiden name as my second middle name. It''s fun to have 4 names

 

[Bella_mezzo]

EHR-I''m going the same, becoming a 4-named freak

Where do you put all your names when you are filling out forms? Do you write both middle names in the middle name section? What if it''s only room for middle initial?

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I dropped my middle and made my maiden my middle..didn''t have a problem in VA, but as other posters mentioned I am assuming the laws are different.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

JR, that was my first question when I talked with a lawyer about the whole middle-name-change thing. I thought it was nuts that you could have all this legal documentation (SS card, DL and Passport) in a non-legal name. He said that a SS agent is supposed to either ask for a certified copy of the marriage license or a copy of the legal name change documentation from the county probate court and only change it to that name, but many SS agents won''t do that. Legally, the SS card is supposed to match either a.) your birth certificate b.) your marriage license or c.) documentation from the court declaring your name change. These documents sort of "trump" your SS card, which is why you can have a non-legal name on your SS card.

Some states allow you to change your middle name when applying for the marriage license...were you able to do that in Ohio? If not, it''s likely you have to go through the court.

The reason why you can hyphenate or change your last name without it being an issue at the SS office is because you can change those when you apply for a marriage license. If however, you are Jane Doe Smith before you get married and list Jane Doe Smith on your marriage license--then several years later you decide you want to take your husband''s name--you would STILL have to go through court because you didn''t change it on the marriage license.

EHR, unfortunately MO is a state where you do have to go through the court system to legally add a second middle name. The system is a real pain in the dupah in MO--I just had a couple of friends go through the process and another PSer just legally changed her middle name in MO (Wyndham). I would just be careful when signing anything legal because your maiden name as a second middle name is considered a cosmetic change and not a legal change.

 

[zipzapgirl]

I changed my name to First MaidenLast MarriedLast in CT and didn''t have any problems.

I think this must also be easier in southern and midwest states, because all of my childhood friends did this exact thing and had no problems with the name change.

Any chance you could just go on a different day and hope for a different clerk? If your husband is a lawyer, then this must not be too tricky of a process for you, no?

 

[wyndham]

Date: 1/8/2010 12:42:37 AM
Author: NewEnglandLady
EHR, unfortunately MO is a state where you do have to go through the court system to legally add a second middle name. The system is a real pain in the dupah in MO--I just had a couple of friends go through the process and another PSer just legally changed her middle name in MO (Wyndham). I would just be careful when signing anything legal because your maiden name as a second middle name is considered a cosmetic change and not a legal change.

Thanks NEL, you said it for me!

EHR, I''m in St. Louis and I just went through the whole process to have my maiden name become my new middle name. The SS office offered to put four names for me as well, but I consulted a lawyer and was told that that''s not technically my legal name anyway unless I go to court! So either way (whether I did First-Maiden-NewLast or First-MaidenMiddle/MaidenLast-NewLast), I was going to have to go to court to make that a legal change. I figured that I should just do it ''correctly'' the first time so that I don''t run into any legal issues in the future. An option that doesn''t require a court order in Missouri is to keep your maiden first and middle names, drop your maiden last name, and just add your new last name...that can be done easily at the SS office or DMV.

Good luck to you all -- it''s a tedious process, but once it''s done you''re DONE and don''t have to deal with it again!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Does anyone know if you have to go in person to the SS office in Manhattan? Or can you do it by mail? Last time I was there it took 6 hours!!! and I jsut don''t have time for that right now

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Date: 1/7/2010 11:38:36 PM
Author: Bella_mezzo
EHR-I''m going the same, becoming a 4-named freak

Where do you put all your names when you are filling out forms? Do you write both middle names in the middle name section? What if it''s only room for middle initial?

For legal forms I use both of my middle names since that is my new legal name. For everything else (credit card, debit cards, bank account, bills, etc.) where there is only room for one name or one initial, I usually use my maiden as my middle.

FYI, NY is a state that requires adding the second name legally through court (the process is the same as MO, sort of a pain), so if you really do want to keep your maiden name legally you''d have to go through the court. If it''s a huge pain for you, I''d probably just keep using the second middle name cosmetically/socially, but wouldn''t sign any legal documents with the second middle name just to be safe.

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 1/7/2010 9:33:55 PM
Author: Octavia

Date: 1/7/2010 9:19:20 PM
Author: JR320
I get the concept, but I still find it surprising that the SSA made the change on my SS card. Is a SS not a legal document?

Yes, but not the way you think. The federal government (which SSA falls under) doesn''t control people''s legal names, states do. As long as you have the documentation SSA needs to make the changes in their system, they''ll do it -- but it''s not your ''legal name'' until it''s recognized as such by your state of residence. It''s backward that many states require the name to be changed on the SS card first, but that''s the way it is...and the state sets the rules about name-changing. This is why it''s easy for women in some states to change maiden to middle, but requires jumping through hoops in others. Also why men can take their wives'' names at marriage in a handful of states, but have to get a court order to do so in most states.

Tracking of names is pretty haphazard anyway, since in my state (PA) someone with no driver''s license would have no proof of name change whatsoever, because our marriage licenses don''t ask about names before and after marriage. For a woman who merely drops her last name and takes her husband''s, the name change could be legal (because it''s allowed by law) but not actually recorded anywhere by the state. Go figure.

Hm. Learn something new everyday. I felt the same way about my new SS card as you, JR320. I didn''t have a middle name before so what I did was take my mother''s maiden name as my middle on my SS card and then hyphenated. When I went to my home state they WOULD NOT put a hyphen in my name on my license. Flat out told me no (this is Rhode Island, btw). So now I''m curious what exactly they consider to be my legal name.

Sorry to threadjack, just found Octavia''s post very educational.

 

[Kunzite]

NEL - Do you know about Washington? I tried searching but couldn''t find anything. A friend of mine did the whole add a maiden middle name thing and I''m wondering if it''s legal, because she probably assumes it is. What a strange process!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Date: 1/9/2010 1:14:20 PM
Author: Kunzite
NEL - Do you know about Washington? I tried searching but couldn''t find anything. A friend of mine did the whole add a maiden middle name thing and I''m wondering if it''s legal, because she probably assumes it is. What a strange process!

Sorry, Kunzite, I''m not sure. I tried to do a quick google search, but didn''t find much. I agree that it is a strange process, I remember asking about all of this when applying for our marriage license and nobody could give me a straight answer until I talked with a lawyer. Anyway, even if your friend didn''t go the legal route to change her name, it''s probably not a big deal at all--the chances of it causing a legal issue down the road are vey slim (and that''s according to one of the lawyer''s I spoke with). There are some states that even legally recognize a name if you''ve been using the same name for a certain number of years, which is a clever way to get around the court! Your friend could probably just call her county family & probate court to find out what the process is, which is easier than reaching out to a lawyer. The rule of thumb my lawyer told me was that if you can''t add a second middle name on the marriage license itself, then it has to be done in court.

 

[wsu12]

Date: 1/7/2010 11:09:32 PM
Author: EHR2009
WHAT!?! I''ve never heard of that! I am in Missouri, and I didn''t have that problem at all. I actually kept my middle name and added my maiden name as my second middle name. It''s fun to have 4 names

EHR2009,
I did the exact same thing...After 30 years with the same name I had grown quite fond of it.

 

[jstarfireb]

Two of my friends recently did this and had no problem. They live in NJ and MD. In PA, I hyphenated and did not need a court order. It''s unfortunate that some states have such backwards laws!

 

[iloveny]

@ bella-mezzo: I did it in person at the SS office in Washington Heights. No one was in there, I was in and out. You might want to go to one of the offices that''s a little further out like that one. I hope that helps!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

fab, I live in Washignton Heights, so I think I''ll do that next week...

 

[DisneyBride828]

Bella, I mailed mine in NY. <3 google SS in NY


woops.just realized you have to go down there if ur in the metro area. I mailed in from my parents house on LI, cause I hadn't changed my address yet.