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Strange Questions That Will Always Remain Unanswered.

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strmrdr

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1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren''t going
as ghosts but as mattresses?

3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

4. Is there another word for synonym?

5. Isn''t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"

6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn''t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?

10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
silent?

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?

13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
 
Good ones.
 
Storm,
I''m still LMAO.....
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Those are some of the funniest things I''ve ever read!!!
Thank you...I needed a good laugh
 
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Ok those were great!!! Thanks for the laugh, hehe.
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Why do hotdogs sell in packs of 10 and buns in packs of 8?
 
Date: 3/7/2006 7:56:04 PM
Author:strmrdr

10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

I saw that happen one of those "Funniest Car Chases" shows!

An experienced police officer was training a rookie, and they chased a car driven by what turned out to be a mime in full white face paint. The older officer talked to the driver in mime, really seriously, and then instructed the rookie to arrest him and read him his rights in mime. The rookie totally fell for it, and was trying so hard to do the bit about remaining silent, when then the mime just burst out laughing. The mime and the officer had set it all up as a prank, with a hidden camera.
 
HAHAHAHAHA! Funny! Can I see if I can answer some questions, though my answers may not make any sense to anyone else but me?

4. Do synonym and simile mean the same thing? If so, I just answered that question. If not, I need to buy a dictionary.

Okay, never mind. I could only answer that one.
 
6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn''t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

Because even if the plane wasn''t destroyed in the crash, everyone in it would be killed instantly anyway. The energy created by the crash has to disperse in some way, and if it''s not absorbed at least in part by the plane structure, all of it will be absorbed by what''s inside. Ow.

It''s the same thing with cars. They used to make cars so solid there wouldn''t be a lot of damage in a crash, but the passengers ended up dying because the energy from the crash couldn''t disperse itself through the car. They''d get thrown out through the windshield, that kind of stuff.
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Yup, I''m a nerd.
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I must say, after going to speech thereapy for most of my childhood years to fight the lisp I had, it was not fun to say, "I''ve got to go to sthpeech clath for my listhp." I''ve asked that question SO many times, and no one understood what I was saying! I just started saying, "I''ve got a talking problem". Also, why DO they have braille on the drive up ATM? Even if a blind person walks up, what if some moron speeds up into the lane and hits them! Or if the blind person hears them coming, how does he know where to go? Man... I feel like Vern in Stand By Me, "What IS Goofy?"
 
1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
_Practice, trial and error

2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren''t going
as ghosts but as mattresses?
- could be, next time check to see if they have cut holes for their eyes, or if they are saying BOO!

3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
-nope she sends him to time out

4. Is there another word for synonym?
-sure in every language but according to my English teacher in 8th grade there are no synonyms at all

5. Isn''t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"
-yes, but hey practice makes perfect

6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn''t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
- along with what anchor said, are cost issues, and the fact that it would be too heavy to take off

7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- yes why wouldn’t they?

8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
a fly is called a drosophila…fly is a nick name

9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?
-so you have to go in and get the key, often because you have to purchase something to use it, or because they are outside and they don’t want people mis-behaving out there….yucky
10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
silent?
-yes, but perhaps they are just brining him in, he might not be in custody
11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
-because the law says they have too

12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?
- eh this is a religious one, not touching that

13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
- I wish they could…I know so many people who have lost a child to deer hitting their car.

14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
English muffins, you can just pull those apart

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
no they only pretend...unless they are truly dedicated

16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
because it goes bad

17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
wasted your time

18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
John McCarthy

19. Why are hemorrhoids called " hemorrhoids " instead of "asteroids"?

-probably because some of them occur within the body


---This was not intended to be serious, just my first thought at reading each of the questions
 
Acutally, I heard that the key pads are massed produced by companies. The same pads that are used at the drive up ATMs are the same as the walk up ones. Therefore they just use the same pads. It is just more cost effective really.
 
Matatora,
I dont know which is more funny, your answers or that you took the time to post them!
lol :}
 
LMHO!

(Maybe I should explain: that's Laughing My Hemorrhoids Off.)
 
Date: 3/9/2006 5:25:02 PM
Author: strmrdr
Matatora,
I dont know which is more funny, your answers or that you took the time to post them!
lol :}
I am a nerd....
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Date: 3/11/2006 10:42:48 AM
Author: Matatora
Date: 3/9/2006 5:25:02 PM

Author: strmrdr

Matatora,

I dont know which is more funny, your answers or that you took the time to post them!

lol :}
I am a nerd....
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Im a member of that club, worse im a computer geek :}
proud of it too
 
um, taking the question's assumption that we did in fact evolve from modern "monkeys and apes," which is wrong anyway, here you go...

humans, monkeys and apes are divegent evolutionary paths from a common ancestor. it's not like we evolved directly from chimps, people. We have all of them for the same reason we have differant kinds of fish and differant kinds of cats and dogs. No one asks, if penguins evolved from an earlier kind of bird, why do we have robins?


harumph. I'm not Judeo-Christian, but I do think there are reasonable forms of exegesis that allow for evolutionary theory. Sorry for lecturing on what I'm sure you already know
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ETA: Prolly too serious, sorry
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I have to say I love #9! Seriously, fear of cleaning fluid or something. Yuck!
 
Date: 3/9/2006 4:24:34 PM
Author: Matatora

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

no they only pretend...unless they are truly dedicated



Matty,

This was priceless!!!!

Deb
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Thanks for the laughs it further brightened my morning!
 
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