Someone Followed us Home Last Night

[Steel]

You are confident that you have the moral high ground. It does not surprise me that you disagree with somebody (me) who thinks you might have had opportunity to be more courteous.

I''m not trying to bash you here and have stated my opinion. If you only want people to agree with you then state that when you post; then you will not meet opinions you consider ''out of line''.

I''m happy to discuss it with you all night long but clearly that would serve no purpose.

Again, I am sorry you had a scare.

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 3/5/2010 3:47:40 PM
Author: dragonfly411
Steal where exactly was I supposed to move?


Sorry but I think you''re a bit out of line on this one. Even IF it hadn''t been a good move on my end.... it doesn''t give him the right to follow us home. Would you be a creeper and follow someone home because you couldn''t move over??? We were in the straight lane... him in a turn lane... he had been driving next to us for some distance and easily had time to either speed up or slow down before hand, but chose to literally 20-30 feet from the intersection? And I''m wrong?

Yeah, why would he FOLLOW YOU HOME? That''s just psychotic. I''ve had people cut me off and whatnot but that''s taking it too far. I just grunt angrily and maybe utter an expletive.

 

[dragonfly411]

steal
I don''t think I was on any moral high ground, but I do genuinely ponder what you thought I should do differently. I have a car to my left turning left. I am in the straight lane with a vehicle behind me. The person to my right knows clearly their lane will turn into a turn lane, I am going a consistent speed... no I didn''t slam on brakes to let them get in front of me... I kept driving, with a person behind me. What was I supposed to do differently??


But again, the original topic was that HE FOLLOWED ME HOME.... nothing in the situation warranted that. Period.

 

[dragonfly411]

Date: 3/5/2010 4:03:38 PM
Author: PinkAsscher678

Date: 3/5/2010 3:47:40 PM

Author: dragonfly411

Steal where exactly was I supposed to move?



Sorry but I think you''re a bit out of line on this one. Even IF it hadn''t been a good move on my end.... it doesn''t give him the right to follow us home. Would you be a creeper and follow someone home because you couldn''t move over??? We were in the straight lane... him in a turn lane... he had been driving next to us for some distance and easily had time to either speed up or slow down before hand, but chose to literally 20-30 feet from the intersection? And I''m wrong?

Yeah, why would he FOLLOW YOU HOME? That''s just psychotic. I''ve had people cut me off and whatnot but that''s taking it too far. I just grunt angrily and maybe utter an expletive.

HAHA PA my dad is totally a grunter. I normally try to let it go. I have a serious fear of traffic situations, mostly interstate related, but I try really hard to relax when driving. I''ve been know to say "what are you DOING" once or twice though (esp when a car in front of me goes 20 in a 40 like last week on my way home from class lolol)

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 3/5/2010 3:47:40 PM
Author: dragonfly411
Steal where exactly was I supposed to move?

Sorry but I think you're a bit out of line on this one. Even IF it hadn't been a good move on my end.... it doesn't give him the right to follow us home. Would you be a creeper and follow someone home because you couldn't move over??? We were in the straight lane... him in a turn lane... he had been driving next to us for some distance and easily had time to either speed up or slow down before hand, but chose to literally 20-30 feet from the intersection? And I'm wrong?

It was absolutely no reason for the other driver to follow you, completely agreed. That stinks of road rage and someone with WAY too much time on their hands. Unless the other driver lived in your neighbourhood, they were much more invested in "getting back at you" than I'd ever have the patience to manage. LOL

Given the situation you were in, with the right lane turning ahead, do you think maybe the other driver just didn't realize that the lane was ending and panicked trying to get into the straight through lane?

Normally, I would probably begrudgingly let them in. Do the little polite hand wave thing, and the whole situation would have been over in seconds, with you in control since you have control over your own vehicle, but not theirs.

When I suspect that the person trying to get in front of me is most likely going to be driving faster than me, I'll offer the courtesy of letting them in. Younger guy in a 300 whp AWD car like an STI or an EVO? I'd rather have them ahead of me than behind me. Everyone else is pretty much case by case.

 

[dragonfly411]

LTP - he possibly wouldn''t have known, but not necessarily likely considering his tag was from our county lol. If you live in this county you know the area b/c it''s the main area of our town. But I do give him that benefit of the doubt. That being said, I normally would have been happy to let him over, just didn''t have the room... we literally had maybe 50 feet? if that? before the intersection, going 35 mph and a person behind us

he had no one behind him... and no blinker on

If we had had the room I definitely would have let him over.. we just really didn''t have room before being IN the intersection.

 

[monarch64]

Dragonfly, I don''t think you were at fault at all, and certainly the guy had no business following you in an aggressive and intimidating manner, especially not all the way to your residence. That''s uncalled for. I really doubt that he''ll come back and do anything, I''m sure he''s just a random idgit who wanted to make a point.

When you talk about not wanting to slam on the brakes so the car behind you wouldn''t rear-end you, totally understandable. And that''s another case of people needing to be aware and driving defensively--that person behind you shouldn''t have been so close that THEY would need to slam on their brakes or swerve to avoid you.

I took driver''s ed. in high school when I was 15. I had been driving, however, since I was 13! Not driving on streets illegally, but driving trucks and cars around my parents'' property when needed and for practice. It was drilled into me when I started driver''s education classes that the most important thing you do is to focus, always be aware, always plan an escape route, and be conscious of the fact that a lot of other people on the road are distracted or basically don''t know what they''re doing, or are possibly intoxicated, etc. I''ve always taken driving really, really seriously. Even though I learned how to drive at a young age, I was not ALLOWED to get my driver''s license until I was 17!!! Too many kids here start driving as soon as they are 16 and one month, and guess what? A very high percentage of them wreck within the first 6 months they have their license. It''s crazy, and I really wish they''d raise the legal driving age to 18, or offer more extensive education...but this is a rural community for one thing, and another reason it will never change is that kids can start working when they''re 15 or 16, I forget which.

My mother didn''t learn how to drive until she was 35!!! I''m 32. She''s 67 now? She''s only been driving as long as I''ve been alive. We''ve each been driving for half our lives...I just realized that. Freaky!

 

[HollyS]

When someone is following you, no matter if you are with someone or alone, DO NOT GO HOME.

In a situation like this, where he tried to intimidate you, or was actually looking for problems, the best thing to do is be just as obvious (to him) about noticing him, taking down his license number if you can, watching him, etc. Make him VERY aware that you are watching him as much as he is watching you.

And drive to the police station. Or get the attention of the next cop you see. Or go to the nearest well lit and well populated business and call the police. Never get out of your vehicle, never leave your vehicle in a parking lot while you shop or eat if someone followed you on purpose.

Always, and I mean ALWAYS, assume the worst about someone if they are acting in a threatening manner.

 

[perry]

If someone if following you.... Do not go home - do not go to work.

Do start doing random turns to locations you do not normally go. If you are near your home just drive on by and head somewhere else, with random turns.

It becomes really obvious if they are following you - and/or that you have spotted them once you start doing random turns (and backtrack).

Of course, pulling into a well lit place that provides safety is nice... if there is one handy.

Hope this helps & have a great day,

Perry

PS:

I note that if you spot this person following you again - then I think you need to start looking into more solid and more real self defensive responses (and involve local law enforcement - who may or may not be able to assist much).

 

[somethingshiny]

Monnie~ I swear it''s like we''re cousins or something. I learned to drive young, wasn''t ALLOWED to get a license until 17 and was also drilled with the "escape route." Must be a midwestern thing?

Did your dad take you out on gravel roads and yell "deer!" just to make sure that your response was good??

TO THE OP~ The original topic of being followed home. Everyone is giving the same opinion about DON''T go home and to watch him. I hope if you see this guy in the future (God forbid) that you will get a license number and turn the creep in! And, I''d make sure that the police are in fact patrolling your area regularly over the next couple days.

As far as the "driving scenario," I would have seen the merge well in advance, and made room for the guy to pull over. There would be no slamming of breaks, and obviously you had the right of way, but it IS what I''d have done (from my above mentioned "escape route" that was forced into me). As it is, you didn''t let him over before the merge, and you should never slam on the breaks in the middle of the road unless you''re avoiding collision. It appears to me since this guy was driving poorly, forcing his way into your lane, and following you--he''s a raving psychotic. Be careful.

 

[y2kitty]

Sorry, I''m a total inconsiderate driver who never lets other people in and nobody has ever followed me home. Completely unwarranted.

 

[dragonfly411]

Thanks all!

The police have a description of his car to match up if they see him in our neighborhood (which is small). I wish we''d have realized it was him sooner

But the police department has orders to make contact with me whilst they are in the neighborhood every night for the next few nights, which is comforting. They do regularly patrol here anyways due to the vandalism we experienced this past fall (not just mine and SO''s vehicles, but other neighbors as well). So that''s good too.

We also leave our upstairs window cracked (with a guard lock to make it so it can only be opened so far), so we can hear things at night.

Hopefully I never run into him again. I was actually driving my dad''s truck, as my jeep was in the shop for a window repair. So hopefully my dad''s truck stays safe too

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 3/5/2010 3:43:17 PM
Author: Steal
Clearly the other driver agreed with me.

The world is about more than right or wrong; it is great to believe that you were in the right when you are knocking on the pearly gates. Isn''t it better to be safe than right?


If a man shoots his gun at you and you are within your rights to stand in that spot; wouldn''t you move to avoid being shot even if you felt you were right? It is all about being aware of your surroundings and reacting appropriately in a timely fashion.

even if she was wrong or made a grossly negligent error - it doesn''t justify being stalked to her house... NO ONE is a perfect driver or 100% makes the perfect decision - and I''ve seen a lot of times where what one person sees as the right choice another perceives as the wrong choice. perspective is everything.

All of that is absolutely irrelevant to the inappropriateness of the weirdo who followed her and there is NO WAY to predict insanity so blaming the victim here just makes the blamer look bad.

 

[Laila619]

So sorry to hear this. Glad you''re okay!

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 3/5/2010 4:02:28 PM
Author: Steal
You are confident that you have the moral high ground. It does not surprise me that you disagree with somebody (me) who thinks you might have had opportunity to be more courteous.


I'm not trying to bash you here and have stated my opinion. If you only want people to agree with you then state that when you post; then you will not meet opinions you consider 'out of line'.


I'm happy to discuss it with you all night long but clearly that would serve no purpose.


Again, I am sorry you had a scare.

The man stalked her and followed her home.

I don't understand why you're being argumentative.

 

[sunseeker101]

DF, I had an incident like this once -- and once is more than enough for anyone. If someone had a normal, honest grievance that they just had to air, following you to glower menacingly towards your HQ is the last thing they'd do. Something is definitely not right with the type of people who do this. Excellent advice on this thread so far. Stay safe.

 

[dragonfly411]

Hey all, just wanted to check in and say that last night went smoothly. We had an officer check in once, and let us know they were patrolling our neighborhood and the one next door. I slept like a log

Hopefully it was isolated, and will fade away.

 

[Tuckins1]

Date: 3/5/2010 11:36:18 AM
Author: princesss
Sweetie, why did you go home? You never know what people will do - he could have gotten out of his car and done something awful. (Not trying to sound accusing - I''m scared something could have happened!)


Personally, when I feel somebody is following me, I drive to a gas station. I want someplace well-lit with video cameras so that if the jerk does anything, it''s with witnesses and their face/license plate is potentially caught on tape.

I second this. I actually have done this twice, but I drove right to a police station. You never know what crazies are out there!!

 

[Anastasia]

Date: 3/6/2010 5:00:40 AM
Author: Imdanny

Date: 3/5/2010 4:02:28 PM
Author: Steal
You are confident that you have the moral high ground. It does not surprise me that you disagree with somebody (me) who thinks you might have had opportunity to be more courteous.


I''m not trying to bash you here and have stated my opinion. If you only want people to agree with you then state that when you post; then you will not meet opinions you consider ''out of line''.


I''m happy to discuss it with you all night long but clearly that would serve no purpose.


Again, I am sorry you had a scare.

The man stalked her and followed her home.

I don''t understand why you''re being argumentative.

BIG DITTO!

Why is everyone so argumentative on PS lately?

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 3/5/2010 10:22:57 PM
Author: y2kitty
Sorry, I''m a total inconsiderate driver who never lets other people in and nobody has ever followed me home. Completely unwarranted.

I hate to say it, but no one has followed you home . . . that you know of. It''s easy enough to follow someone without being obvious about it.

Please be careful, everyone. I had a friend shot on the freeway over a road rage incident. He died because he wouldn''t let someone in, they cut him off, he later brake-checked them, they pulled around and shot him in the head. You just never know what kind of unbalanced people you''re dealing with out there.

 

[Steel]

Cry me a river...

You can disagree with me all you like - but does that in turn make you 'argumentative'? Of course not.

A number of other posters have also said that they would have probably facilitated the other car to merge. DF thinks she couldn't. That is the issue upon which she disagreed with me, but not the others. Even so, I bet she isn't losing sleep over the disagreement.

I've been around PS long enough to know how things work and if you have an issue with my posts then please contact a mod - use the report concern button. If not, then jump off the bandwagon and mind your manners.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 3/7/2010 3:40:19 PM
Author: Steal
Cry me a river...

You can disagree with me all you like - but does that in turn make you ''argumentative''? Of course not.

A number of other posters have also said that they would have probably facilitated the other car to merge. DF thinks she couldn''t. That is the issue upon which she disagreed with me, but not the others. Even so, I bet she isn''t losing sleep over the disagreement.

I''ve been around PS long enough to know how things work and if you have an issue with my posts then please contact a mod - use the report concern button. If not, then jump off the bandwagon and mind your manners.

I think I''m in PS love

lol!

dragonfly, I''m sorry to hear about the scary situation you were in. I have actually had someone follow me as well, I had to drive ALL over the neighborhood (luckily it was a big neighborhood, and not my neighborhood), to lose the guy. It is really scary!

 

[sunseeker101]

I think your advice is sound, Steal. Maybe it's a good defensive-driving move to always give a wave of recognition when making any manoeuver that isn't 100% textbook. Less risk of unusually hard feelings then

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 3/7/2010 12:24:06 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier

Date: 3/5/2010 10:22:57 PM

Author: y2kitty

Sorry, I''m a total inconsiderate driver who never lets other people in and nobody has ever followed me home. Completely unwarranted.

I hate to say it, but no one has followed you home . . . that you know of. It''s easy enough to follow someone without being obvious about it.

Please be careful, everyone. I had a friend shot on the freeway over a road rage incident. He died because he wouldn''t let someone in, they cut him off, he later brake-checked them, they pulled around and shot him in the head. You just never know what kind of unbalanced people you''re dealing with out there.

I''m sorry. That''s terrible.

 

[waterlilly]

People are crazy. My husband is one of those drivers that takes things personally and get really annoyed while driving. Me - it''s just not worth it.

My thoughts: You NEVER know who/what is driving in the car next to you, so why act like a traffic cop and force other drivers to obey the rules?

By "not letting someone pass", you are playing traffic cop in my opinion. You would have to speed up to not let someone pass - which means you would not have had to "slam on your brakes" to let them by, you simply would have needed to take your foot off the gas.

My husband would have done the same thing yours did, no doubt. If I was driving I would have just let the guy pass - you KNOW when someone is trying to pass and if they are in the left lane - that IS the passing lane. I would have slowed down and my husband would have said - "don''t let him pass you", but I would have and we''d forget about it 3 seconds later and our lives would go on their merry way without someone pissed off and following us.

 

[dragonfly411]

guys, this isn''t about the eensy weensy details of my driving habits, or his, or what caused who to not pass whom feet from an intersection. This was about BEING FOLLOWED HOME. If you think that not getting to pass right before an intersection warrants following someone home... well then

.

Sorry I''m your ideal 100% perfect driver.

 

[Tuckins1]

Date: 3/8/2010 11:23:09 AM
Author: dragonfly411
guys, this isn''t about the eensy weensy details of my driving habits, or his, or what caused who to not pass whom feet from an intersection. This was about BEING FOLLOWED HOME. If you think that not getting to pass right before an intersection warrants following someone home... well then

.


Sorry I''m your ideal 100% perfect driver.

Darlin, i''m sure you did what was best for you. None of us were there to assess the road situaiton, so all we can go on is what you have told us. I say if the guy didn''t know the road merged, that''s his problem. Maybe you could have let him merge, maybe not. It''s not your responsibility to do so... The point is if this ever happens again, DON''T GO HOME!!! As far as all the other posts, don''t take them to heart. It''s easy to tell someone what they "should have done" when it''s not you yourself in the situation.