So Mad Right Now, Can''t Sleep!

[DancinGirl]

Okay, I am stressing out so bad. It''s 4:15am, and I can''t sleep. Wedding stress getting to me bigtime! (on top of PMS, not a good combo)

I got our package from the wedding facility today (ceremony and reception being held there) saying we need to set up our consulation appt soon. OKay cool, no problem. We just had sent in our $1000 6 month deposit, and then got this in the mail. Well...in this package was a sheet that talked about the Wedding Ceremony Fees.

FEES??? WHAT FRIGGIN FEES??? $450 for us to have it outside!?!?!

We were NEVER, EVER told that it cost us anything to have the ceremony there. I had even asked and they said the use of the outdoor area was part of the package. There is nothing on their website, nothing in ANY of the packages I have from them previously, nothing at ALL that says this.

So I just wrote to them via email, cause I just can''t take it anymore waiting to call them next week and bitch them out. I refuse to pay for anything that was not disclosed to me up front.

Do you agree with me here? UGH I am sooo mad.

 

[AGBF]

Don't worry, everything is going to be fine. You are not at their mercy. Just tell them calmly and firmly that the agreement was that you need not pay to have the ceremony outside...and stick by it. No one can coerce you to pay the extra amount. It really will be all right. Trust me and post with an update once you speak to them.

All the best,
Deb

 

[PaulaW]

I bet that they sent you their standard packet and it wasn't tailored for you. A lot of places have a ceremony fee if it's on their property but will waive it if you are having the reception there as well and are spending x-amount of $$. Hopefully this will be the case. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

 

[Mara]

I feel your pain...when we were looking locally, everything had fees attached. But at least we knew up front about it! I can't imagine finding out later. At least you have a leg to stand on if nothing was in ANY of your documentation or correspondence re: extra fees.




In Kauai, we are staying in the Managers House for the week of the wedding. It's something like $550 a night. It's huge though, about 3000 sq ft, and we are splitting the cost with people in the house with us (friends). But to have our wedding there, in front of the house, it's $1000 for both ceremony and reception. When we first heard this, we thought...if it wasn't a wedding, they wouldn't charge us! But of course, you have to pony up the $$ if you want that spot. The whole wedding thing is just a huge scam to take your $$ because people's emotions are so involved. But since we are saving so much by doing the wedding in Kauai, the extra $1k was not a problem for us, it just kind of raised our eyebrows...thinking, well you can't escape the madness no matter where you go I suppose!!

Good luck and let us know how things turn out!

 

[wallace]

Hi - I am new. I was attrated by the title of your comment. Please feel free to check out my new post called Problems with Elara if you want to commiserate.

We were going to elope but decided toda, because of the ring debacle, to have a ceremony... sounds counter-intuitive - - it seems like it might be our last shot at enjoying anything about this whole getting-married procedure.

Any thoughts on letting your soon-to-be-mother-in-law plan the whole thing? We live in a different city and can't plan...

Good Luck!

 

[DancinGirl]

Well... I can't even get into the WHOLE thing....but first email she responded to...she denied any wrong doing and said the fee was $450, no exceptions...after I wrote back telling her I was not paying it...she then said there MAY have been some miscommunication and says she would offer the ceremony site for me for $250!

BETTER - but still not within my acceptability.

Now, I haven't responded to her yet - but she will soon find out we have changed our 'package' choice to the lowest one, which will make them lose about $1800 now!

F*CK THEM is my attitude right now! Still very upset. I am gonna look into local non denominational churches now and not pay ANY fee. We'll see.

Gggggggggrrrr.........

 

[Nicrez]

Dancin Girl that is SO WRETCHED OF HER!!!

Why do people think they can pilfer from people who are just about to get engaged. They know you are desperate to have a wonderful day and some would pay anything (even last minute) to ensure that, so that's when they put the gun to your wallet! They did it at my brother's wedding, my friend Sara's, my friend Sonya's, my sister's, and even my uncles. All different things...Like replacing the wine with their "top shelf" after contract (by mistake) and charging premium rates for the wine people drank...SO SNEAKY...




My sister's they had two people who didn't come last minute, so they charged them TWICE the price of the plate per person, plus what they would have drank (their average) and fees, etc... totalling almost $600! How stupid is that?!




It happens, and you are right to put your foot down! YOU GO GIRL! No one ripps off a Bridezilla before her wedding...(we call our soon-to-be friends Bridezillas, because they tend to become these raging monsters after they deal with the caterers, phtographers, chirches, dress makers, favors people, musicians, etc...)

Good luck and GIVE THEM HELL!!!!

 

[Jaded Gem]

Sorry to hear about your troubles Dancing Girl.

Yeah, planning a wedding is not easy and surprisingly people do not always disclose everything.

I will wish you a happy resolution to your ordeal. Funny thing, my husband and I come from two big and generous families. Everyday, I thank my lucky stars for the people in my life.
My parents planned a traditional Chinese wedding for my husband and I this past summer so they took care of the menu which was a huge one since my parents own a restaurant and my father's a chef. All my husband and I did was order flowers and send out the invitations. We got married in a courthouse close by with my close friends attending. The rest of my family were at the restaurant setting up and cooking the most scrumptous dishes. We had to attend back to back weekend weddings and about four to go to within the months of mid-July and early August.

So we never got to plan the one for California.
My mother-in-law is planning a traditional American one out there this August. I believe it is going to be at the Sheraton and it will easily cost over 10K. The wedding planner there told my mother-in-law that if we planned on having a ceremony there outside on their grounds then that would cost an additional $500+ more which only includes maybe some chairs being set-up and that would be it. I was not suprised since it seems like weddings and banquet rooms just cost an arm and a leg nowadays. I can easily see how some people talk about getting a loan for their wedding if they themselves have to foot the whole bill.
My husband's friend got married at a lush country club in the Berkeley, CA hills and I think the cheapest dish of chicken, three shrimps, and vegetables cost about $75 a plate. It does seem like a major rip off since my dad knows all about food, preparation time, ingredients, etc., and he says that the food and prep time is not worth what most places charge and that most of the money is made from just the banquet location/place. Anyway, I hope you will find much more forward and honest people to work with for the remainder of your planning. It is unfortunate that some people feel the need to slip in some misc. fees at the last minute or do not disclose all fees up front. May your day be full of bliss and may your worries just be temporary or none in an ideal situation. Maybe you can talk to her manager and explain that you were not ready for the surprise expenses to pop up over a minor change in plans. I don't know if they would just chalk it up as their mistakes of not making an earlier disclosure and find a way where both parties can come to a mutual agreement. Maybe she did not tell you this fee because of how she may have thought that you would have planned your ceremony for the indoors. I have no idea what their reasoning would be to charge more for an outdoor ceremony except for maybe what they see as setting up additional chairs outside and the labor for doing so if both ceremony and reception are at the same place. My mother-in-law was not given the $500+ fee charge until she asked about a possible outside ceremony. So maybe my guess is that it was a lack of communication or miscommnication on their part. I hope this will be resolved to your satisfaction...Best of Luck!

 

[DancinGirl]

Jaded,

No, we had planned on outdoors all along. If it was bad weather it would be moved indoors. Turns out they charge $450 for outdoors, $250 for indoors. They think they are doing me a favor for only charging me $250 now. BS! The first day I met with her to see the place, she talked about everything (but not that)- and at the time we weren't 100% sure if we were going to have the ceremony there or not. Regardless, we should have gotten the fee sheet that said those fees when it came up. I didn't until now. It's really a shame they have to be so damn greedy.

I'll keep you posted on what happens next.

 

[Jaded Gem]

Yeah, Dancing Girl, I agree with you that people are greedy. And especially the people that don't know you seem the most callous and deceitful. It's a real shame. After reading what you wrote, I have to agree that customer service is lacking in many areas of society. I don't know if it is the effects of the economy or just pure greed for people to try to recoup possible losses or revenue through dishonest means. I guess if I were you then I would just climb up the ladder until I get the satisfaction that I am looking for. Even a basic apology would do. My husband is different. He would probably pay for the extra fee because of the stage of the wedding planning. He would definitely tell the higher ups about what was not conveyed and that he would not recommend their services to others. I guess it depends on the situation. There will be a lot of battles to fight in life. I guess it depends on picking the right ones. There will be people out there who are less righteous, but should they ruin your day with your loved ones? I personally can understand your anguish.

Obviously the person that you are talking to right now has not been honest with you or not as experienced with professionalism. Maybe she forgot to disclose the price sheet. You don't necessarily should feel that you should have asked for it. How did you know that this indoor and outdoor ceremony would be an additional charge? Perhaps talking to her manager(s) or even writing a letter to the owner will be another means that you can pursue. I hope your wedding day will be full of bliss and not overshadowed by another person's incompetence. Shine on!

 

[DancinGirl]

She says she DID tell me verbally - because she 'makes notes' on her customer sheet and wrote on there that she told me $450. I told her "I don't care what you wrote on your sheet - I was never told and I know that for a fact". So she backs up her statement by saying "I am so anal about my note taking that I know I had to have told you because it was on my checklist".

BULLS*IT once again!

I just wrote my last ultimatum to them...this is what it says:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am sorry but $250 is not acceptable to us either. I understand you have your costs but we are spending enough on this wedding as it is and to be expecting to have our ceremony there with no fee EVER told to us (no matter what you took notes on, we had nothing in writing). $450 is not in the budget, nor is $250. It is as bad as hidden fees that function facilities love to add on to the final bill like what my friend had experienced with you a year ago. From everyone I have spoke to in the business world since this came up including what I know from being in customer service for years is - the customer is always right and you if you made a mistake, own up to it and don't make the customer suffer from your mistake. This is the case here, and the staff needs to own up to their mistake and now rectify it.

We plan on having our ceremony there, outdoors - and we cannot and will not pay for a mistake we did not make. If we need to - I will make an appointment to speak to the owners directly and take it from there. This isn't acceptable to us. This compromise you gave us of the lower amount isn't even half of what the $450 fee was! If the fees were not in writing and given to us - we had NO knowledge of them. Obviously, if I had the sheet - we would not have been felt like we were slapped in the face when we got it 6 months before and $1700 in deposits later.

So it's in your hands...either the fee will be forgotten because of a mistake on the staff's part from not giving it to us or telling us about it, or we will meet with the owners and possibly our lawyer to iron this out. We will also change our package to the lower priced one so you will lose another $1800 due to this inexcusable charge. It isn't right that it has had to go this far. I hope you do the right thing so the name of the Granite Rose will not have to be tainted due to their lack of customer service and satisfaction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wish me luck!

 

[Jaded Gem]

Good Luck Dancing Girl!

Keep us posted with the outcome.

 

[derekinla]

You go Dancingirl!!! You might want to indicate on your letter that a CC: has been sent to the BBB, Dateline NBC, the editor of your local newspaper etc.... You might also want to ask the sales rep: "who is your supervisor and what is her/his telephone #". I find that such a line will usually prompt some kind of rapid response in your favor. Keep pushing and keep us updated! I feel for your cause and wish you all the best.

 

[Nicrez]

Good luck and WAY TO GO GIRL!!!

I think these people have it coming!!!

 

[DancinGirl]

Sorry I forgot to update you all.

On that following Friday I got a call from the Vice President of the Corporation, and I called him back while on a break from work. I ended up literally yelling at him on the phone for 45 minutes. I was very strong and had a good argument...but he was one of those cocky strong corporate types and I knew he wasn't going to budge much if at all. He was God and I was nobody, know what I mean?

I had a very good arguement, but basically what it came down to was that he believed his sales director over me, and thought $250 was compromise enough. I was trying to only pay $100 if anything...but after getting very tired of the argument...I got him to $200 and left it at that. Next day I received as I asked for, a letter (which came by way of registered mail) stating the agreement in writing.

UGH I was so mad....but I had no other choice. We can't have it anywhere else at this point that will be as convenient and nice without having to pay for Limos and another location...so I accepted it.

Just still a real pain in the a$$ if ya know what I mean!

Thanks for your support!!!