So Can I Just Go to Temple?

[iLander]

I'm interested in Judaism and wondering if I can just go to a Temple.

It's kind of a thing I've had in my life; my continuing search for a religion that speaks to me. When I was a kid, and first came to this country, I attended a bunch of different churches on my own: at six, Baptist missionaries showed up at the door and I started taking the church bus to Sunday school. I went until I was about 8. Then a Mormon church was built nearby, and I started walking to that every Sunday and Wednesday. Then in my teen years I tried Methodist, Lutheran, Unitarian, Catholic, etc. I went by myself (I was kind of a precocious kid), or occasionally a friend would invite me to their church.

So, the point is, I've tried a lot of religions and none of them was ever quite what I wanted. Before coming to this country, I was raised by a different family and we all went to Catholic mass, every single morning at 7 am. So I think this is why I have a "hole" where a religion should be.

So, can I go to Temple? Is that allowed? I know most Christian churches have an open door policy, if they're not actively going door-to-door converting people. Does Judaism have an open door policy? Can anybody just show up?

If I can go in, what can I expect? Will people stare at me? Am I offending anyone by doing this? Should I talk to the Rabbi first?

I'm interested in finding a religion that fits me and I hope I didn't offend anyone with my questions.

 

[Missy]

Hi iLander, there is no way your questions will offend anyone so please don't worry. You would not offend anyone by attending services either. I am pretty sure you can just go to a temple and join in the services (though in some temples you need to be a member but guests are welcome) but it is a good idea to meet with the rabbi first to just get an idea of what you might expect and how you can get more from the experience.

Judaism is one of the religions that does not want to "recruit" anyone and is truly a religion that only wants you to join if you have the dedication and desire to do so. And there is a lot of learning about the religion and what it means to be a Jew before you would even consider converting. Not that you might want to convert LOL but just saying.

Good luck and I hope the experience is a positive one for you!

ETA: there are different divisions if you will in Judaism and you might want to decide which is right for you before you go to a specific temple and rabbi. Reform, Conservative and Orthodox are the main ones.
http://www.jewfaq.org/shul.htm

 

[Haven]

Of course you can! At least, the synagogues around here after open door policies.

I think a Reform synagogue might be a good place to start. We use a newish prayer book, the Mishkan T'filah, which I think is really nice and user-friendly. If I were you I'd attend a Friday night service, maybe bring a friend. Find a local synagogue that shares their calendar on the website--many synagogues have dinners after the service that you can attend for a small price, or other interesting programming.

My synagogue also has Sunday morning study sessions that are open to the public. Our Cantor leads the sessions, some of them are about the Torah, others are about contemporary issues. Most of the synagogues around here also have book clubs, which might be a different and interesting way to get to know the community.

 

[Haven]

Hi iLander, there is no way your questions will offend anyone so please don't worry. You would not offend anyone by attending services either. I am pretty sure you can just go to a temple and join in the services (though in some temples you need to be a member but guests are welcome) but it is a good idea to meet with the rabbi first to just get an idea of what you might expect and how you can get more from the experience.

Judaism is one of the religions that does not want to "recruit" anyone and is truly a religion that only wants you to join if you have the dedication and desire to do so. And there is a lot of learning about the religion and what it means to be a Jew before you would even consider converting. Not that you might want to convert LOL but just saying.

Good luck and I hope the experience is a positive one for you!

ETA: there are different divisions if you will in Judaism and you might want to decide which is right for you before you go to a specific temple and rabbi. Reformed, Conservative and Orthodox are the main ones.

I know you didn't mean to offend Missy, but I just wanted to share with ILander so she doesn't inadvertently offend someone:
It is Reform Judaism, no -ed. Some Reform Jews feel that calling us Reformed is a pejorative because it implies that we WERE Jews and have now become something else. We call our movement the Reform Movement to indicate that we believe in the ability to change while still remaining Jews.

This is a common mistake that people make, and I actually know some people who call themselves "Reformed Jews." SO, definitely not something to feel bad about if you do it, but just a bit of a PSA. (My father is a cantor, my sister's studying to be a rabbi, my mom teaches in a private Jewish school. We've had discussions about these kind of things my entire life. )

 

[Missy]

Hi iLander, there is no way your questions will offend anyone so please don't worry. You would not offend anyone by attending services either. I am pretty sure you can just go to a temple and join in the services (though in some temples you need to be a member but guests are welcome) but it is a good idea to meet with the rabbi first to just get an idea of what you might expect and how you can get more from the experience.

Judaism is one of the religions that does not want to "recruit" anyone and is truly a religion that only wants you to join if you have the dedication and desire to do so. And there is a lot of learning about the religion and what it means to be a Jew before you would even consider converting. Not that you might want to convert LOL but just saying.

Good luck and I hope the experience is a positive one for you!

ETA: there are different divisions if you will in Judaism and you might want to decide which is right for you before you go to a specific temple and rabbi. Reformed, Conservative and Orthodox are the main ones.

I know you didn't mean to offend Missy, but I just wanted to share with ILander so she doesn't inadvertently offend someone:
It is Reform Judaism, no -ed. Some Reform Jews feel that calling us Reformed is a pejorative because it implies that we WERE Jews and have now become something else. We call our movement the Reform Movement to indicate that we believe in the ability to change while still remaining Jews.

This is a common mistake that people make, and I actually know some people who call themselves "Reformed Jews." SO, definitely not something to feel bad about if you do it, but just a bit of a PSA. (My father is a cantor, my sister's studying to be a rabbi, my mom teaches in a private Jewish school. We've had discussions about these kind of things my entire life. )

So sorry- I am on my phone and it is so difficult to post from the darn thing especially when I am typing fast (at least fast for me because I still do one finger at a time LOL). I have to realize I need reading glasses when posting from my small samsung nexus darn it!! Thanks Haven for pointing out my mistake. I do realize it is Reform Judaism and was my stupid mistake!

 

[Haven]

No need to apologize, Missy! I just had to say it because I didn't want ILander accidentally using "Reformed".

I had a hunch that you knew it was Reform, anyway. Thank you for not being defensive, by the way.

 

[Missy]

No need to apologize, Missy! I just had to say it because I didn't want ILander accidentally using "Reformed".

I had a hunch that you knew it was Reform, anyway. Thank you for not being defensive, by the way.

Of course Haven. I appreciate you finding it because it would be awful if iLander used that word because of my mistake! I went back and fixed it so it wouldn't confuse others. Thanks again!

 

[iLander]

Haven and Missy, thank you!

This has been on my mind for a couple of years and frankly, I didn't feel comfortable asking anyone in "real life". And there's really not a lot on Google!

And thank you for keeping me from saying the wrong thing, right off the bat! I didn't know this was an issue, so good to know.

Here's more stupid questions; is any part of the service usually in English? Are they called "Services"? As I search for a temple (should that be capitalized, BTW?) is there anything in the name that would indicate a reform synagogue?

I think I will have to start with a conversation with the rabbi. Or maybe a book? Is there a book you would recommend?

 

[innerkitten]

I'm not sure either. It's a little different that way. I have a jewish mother ( who had jewish parents) and therefore I'm jewish even though I've never practiced it because it's also an ethnicity as well as a religion. It's very interesting.

My mother has a funny story about sneaking a ham sandwich when she was 14.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

I think you should call the synagoge first. There may be a secretary who can answer questions if you don't want to speak to the Rabbi right away. I think you will find this a wonderful adventure. I have lifetime friends who are orthodox and I have enjoyed learning from them. Keep us up to date on your quest.

Annette

 

[kefira]

So sorry- I am on my phone and it is so difficult to post from the darn thing especially when I am typing fast (at least fast for me because I still do one finger at a time LOL). I have to realize I need reading glasses when posting from my small samsung nexus darn it!! Thanks Haven for pointing out my mistake. I do realize it is Reform Judaism and was my stupid mistake!

Sorry for the threadjack, but missy - get yourself some Swype goodness! Down with fingertap typing!

 

[Maisie]

I think they don't mind you visiting. Its when you want to convert that they slam the door in your face Did you see the episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte wants to convert?

 

[JewelFreak]

iLander, I have a friend whose husband is a nationally known rabbi & has written some wonderful books. I'll ask her for anything she might recommend. They are Orthodox but I'm sure her knowledge is really wide on what might be helpful for you to read. Wish we lived close -- I'd go with you in a heartbeat! If I were to be part of any formal religion it would be Judaism, so warm, human, sensible & down to earth.

Will advise as soon as I hear from her. I'll also ask her your other questions & if she has more advice.

--- Laurie

 

[kenny]

I thought Judaism was passed down via the mother.
IOW if you mom was a Jew, you are a Jew whether or not you practice the religion.

Can you become a Jew if your mother was not a Jew, or would you be a non-Jew who practices and observes Judaism?
This may seem like merely semantics to some but, it may be a very important distinction to others.

Please correct me if I am misinformed.

 

[Haven]

ILander--You may also want to see if there are any Jewish Community Centers (JCCs) or other similar things near you. Being Jewish is about so much more than prayer. You might have fun going to a community event, like Israeli dancing, etc.

Do you happen to live in Illinois? (Hence the IL-ander?) If so, this summer Chicago will be home to the Greater Chicago Jewish Folk Arts Festival on Sunday 6/10. It's held every other summer, and it's a lot of fun. (We call it the Folk Fest. ) There's live music, artists, Jewish organizations, etc.

And if you are in the area, then I'm proud to share that my college just approved a new Jewish Studies Concentration. We will be only the second CC in the nation to offer such a program. We'll be hosting a lot of events this fall to kick it off, so if you're a Chicagoan, let me know! (And you could always take a class . . . )

 

[Haven]

I thought Judaism was passed down via the mother.
IOW if you mom was a Jew, you are a Jew whether or not you practice the religion.

Can you become a Jew if your mother was not a Jew, or would you be a non-Jew who practices and observes Judaism?
This may seem like merely semantics to some but, it may be a very important distinction to others.

Please correct me if I am misinformed.

You are correct that Judaism has a law of matrilineal descent, Kenny.

However, non-Jews may convert to Judaism. There are different conversion practices for the various Jewish movements, but they do exist. My mother was raised Jewish, but both of her parents had Jewish fathers and non-Jewish mothers, so my mom chose to have an Orthodox conversion at age 16 so her children would be considered Jewish under Jewish law.

This law is particularly interesting because there is a huge difference in experiences for someone who was raised in the culture and religion, and someone who was not. (Obvious, I know.) It is a very interesting thing, as some people identify as Jews even though they have never participated in the religion and culture, so it makes for a very wide variety of Jewish experiences.

 

[kenny]

Thanks Haven.

Per Wikipedia, Christianity has something like 38,000 denominations. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_denominations)

Is Judaism similarly "varied"?

 

[Regular Guy]

Hi, Islander,

I think Missy and Haven have both provided good advice.

I'd agree that finding a Reform synagogue, on balance, is probably good advice.

If you wish, it's possible based on maybe web-review, we could assist if you want to share what part of the world your in or near.

But, like an artist's opinion, what one of us see and like may be different than another, thus the different expressions that Judaism makes.

It is common for Reform synagogues to uniquely be called...Temple so & so, based partly on what you'll read at the helpful website Missy shared above.

Another website I thin is generally helpful concerning all things Jewish is this one:

http://www.myjewishlearning.com/

I've enjoyed returning to Judaism in the last 15 years or so, having grown up Jewish. I've since traveled to, and explored Buddhism, and now identify as what is sometimes called a Jubu.

Perhaps it's consistent with the "path" I've taken, that I feel strongly that the point of view you learn to adopt, and is presented to you, can make important differences in how you come to understand Jewish practice.

They do say in Judaism that it's much more what you do than what you believe that makes a difference.

I'm not sure how many religions this is true for. But, I think it is importantly true for both Judaism & buddhism.

Best of wishes in this effort.

Let us know if we can support your efforts here, further.

As you may know...this is a special time of year in the Jewish tradition. Tonight is Passover, and some say the largest number of Jews practice the gathering together tonight for a Passover meal, more than virtually any other practice they might engage in, with respect to Jewish practice.

L'Shalom (in peace),

Ira Z.

 

[Haven]

Thanks Haven.

Per Wikipedia, Christianity has something like 38,000 denominations. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_denominations)

Is Judaism similarly "varied"?

Indeed it is, Kenny. Although I don't know about 38,000!

The most well-known movements are Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, Reconstructionist, Hasidic, and Humanistic Judaism. Although I imagine there are many others that I don't know about.

Ira--What an interesting path you've taken. Thank you for sharing! I really like what you said--it is about what you do more than what you believe.

And yes, tonight is the first night of Passover. This is why I've been so chatty on PS all day--I'm stuck in my kitchen perfecting my matzah balls! Just the right amount of float . . . just the right amount of onion . . . it's taking me forever! This is my favorite festival, Pesach. I love it.

Chag Sameach!

 

[Regular Guy]

The most well-known movements are Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, Reconstructionist, Hasidic, and Humanistic Judaism. Although I imagine there are many others that I don't know about.

add Renewal, as expressed by Rabbi Zalman Schachter to complete the picture.

But, Reform combines many elements. It is a large movement (actually the largest), and reliably welcoming. Friday night is their main service.

And, to all, hava a zissen (sweet) and liberating Passover.

Ira Z.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I thought Judaism was passed down via the mother.
IOW if you mom was a Jew, you are a Jew whether or not you practice the religion.

Can you become a Jew if your mother was not a Jew, or would you be a non-Jew who practices and observes Judaism?
This may seem like merely semantics to some but, it may be a very important distinction to others.

Please correct me if I am misinformed.

You are correct that Judaism has a law of matrilineal descent, Kenny.

However, non-Jews may convert to Judaism. There are different conversion practices for the various Jewish movements, but they do exist. My mother was raised Jewish, but both of her parents had Jewish fathers and non-Jewish mothers, so my mom chose to have an Orthodox conversion at age 16 so her children would be considered Jewish under Jewish law.

This law is particularly interesting because there is a huge difference in experiences for someone who was raised in the culture and religion, and someone who was not. (Obvious, I know.) It is a very interesting thing, as some people identify as Jews even though they have never participated in the religion and culture, so it makes for a very wide variety of Jewish experiences.

So,does this mean I'm jewish in any form -> great grandmother/grandfather & my grandmother ran from Nazis. Greatgrandfather was caught, great grandmother and grandmother got away. My grandmother grew up and had a relationship with a non-jewish man, had my mom, then converted to roman catholic. Then my mom married a luthern and they never practiced religion at all. So, am I Jewish based on that history? What about my kids?

 

[Regular Guy]

Classically, Judaism is passed on based on the religion of the mother.

So, MC I think that's a yes.

In some sense, Reform is more progressive. Not only does it say mother or father...but it also suggests that it requires Jewish education...in which case...ask your Rabbi about your circumnstance. Hopefully he or she will invite you over and to have a nice Jewish education.

Ira Z.

 

[Ella]

Just a reminder but we do not allow religious discussions on PS. Thank you for your cooperation.