Snowmen Family Terrorized

[Matata]

A brutal crime has shocked this small Oregon community and has snow people on the alert. In the early morning hours, a family of 3 was torn from their display and unceremoniously dumped on the floor. A suspect was identified but fled on foot and has not been apprehended. He is believed to be hiding under the bed. Luckily the family suffered no lasting damage and has been returned to their rightful place. A close friend of the family has vowed that justice will be served.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Oh no! Thank god there weren't any fatalities! I'm glad you got picture evidence to lock this hoodlum away! He's probably not going to last in jail tho, he's wayyyyyy to handsome! Justice!!!

 

[Haven]

AHAHAHAHAHA! Amazing.

 

[madelise]

Wow your cat is beautiful! I love the spots! Very wildcat-like!!

 

[Enerchi]

Good one!!! Seems that snowmen and their families are just not safe in that community - especially with the prowler not yet apprehended!!

LOVE IT!!!

 

[JewelFreak]

Throw the book at him! (No, don't, it might hurt him.)

 

[Matata]

Dear Santy Paws,
Pleze ignore these pikchures. I was set up. It wuz the uther 2 cats who hurt the snowpeoples. I was just walkin by. Oh and that little akcident with the coughee cup...not me either. Ummm, and, thatpieceofsalmonthatdisappearedfromthekitchin is not what my breath smells like. It's been a buzy day here defendin myself from these falsehoodses. Mom said she sent her good friend Craig List my pikchure with a "free to good home" note. I dun't noe this guy and am suspishus. Pleze bring me my Christmas toyz I am a goooood boy.
luv,
Maliik

 

[Enerchi]

Dear Maliik,

Never fear, ole Santy Paws knows who's been naughty and nice... and your mom... she's got some 'xplainin' to do, of her own... just ask her about her bling purchases in the past, and what she DID and DID not confess to - or post to PS!!!

You, dear Maliik, are PUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRfectly safe in that household. Mr C. List will not be bothering you anytime soon!

See you on the 24th,
SP



(I'm just trying to help out the poor kitty! LOL!!)

 

[Matata]

Dear Maliik,

Never fear, ole Santy Paws knows who's been naughty and nice... and your mom... she's got some 'xplainin' to do, of her own... just ask her about her bling purchases in the past, and what she DID and DID not confess to - or post to PS!!!

You, dear Maliik, are PUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRfectly safe in that household. Mr C. List will not be bothering you anytime soon!

See you on the 24th,
SP

Dear SP, thank you for the informashun. I have heard of this "bling", Mom speeks of it offen. I noe she hides the good choklet from dad too. I think she gave up confeshun when her knees went bad.
luv,
Maliik

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Maliik! I can provide you sanctuary from your mother!

 

[zoebartlett]

Dear Santy Paws,
Pleze ignore these pikchures. I was set up. It wuz the uther 2 cats who hurt the snowpeoples. I was just walkin by. Oh and that little akcident with the coughee cup...not me either. Ummm, and, thatpieceofsalmonthatdisappearedfromthekitchin is not what my breath smells like. It's been a buzy day here defendin myself from these falsehoodses. Mom said she sent her good friend Craig List my pikchure with a "free to good home" note. I dun't noe this guy and am suspishus. Pleze bring me my Christmas toyz I am a goooood boy.
luv,
Maliik

 

[zoebartlett]

Can't delete duplicate post..

 

[Enerchi]

Dear Maliik,

Never fear, ole Santy Paws knows who's been naughty and nice... and your mom... she's got some 'xplainin' to do, of her own... just ask her about her bling purchases in the past, and what she DID and DID not confess to - or post to PS!!!

You, dear Maliik, are PUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRfectly safe in that household. Mr C. List will not be bothering you anytime soon!

See you on the 24th,
SP

Dear SP, thank you for the informashun. I have heard of this "bling", Mom speeks of it offen. I noe she hides the good choklet from dad too. I think she gave up confeshun when her knees went bad.
luv,
Maliik

Sweet Maliik,

Your mummy is a very clever person - she's just skippin' out on church and blaming it on her knees! You better leave extra cat hair on her clothes just to let her know you are onto her! If you know where the chocolate is, show dad - it would be a good thing to have him on your side, just incase another 'accusatory and inflammatory' situation should come up again.

Does she just buy you the no name cat food too? No salmon? No catnip? Mommy is headed down the 'coal in the stocking road' if she is not careful.... ( ) Did she forget that I can "see her when she's sleeping"?!

Now you, my little friend, you are too sweet and honest and I just know that you had nothing to do with those snowmen -- it was definitely the other cats. I totally believe you!

Your new BFF,
Santy Paws
XOX

 

[Matata]

Maliik! I can provide you sanctuary from your mother!

Hurray! Can I bringz the sofa cause I ain't dun shreddin' it yet.
Oh noes, oh NOESSS, Santy Paws, I didn't meen to say "shreddin" I meant "sittin" I ain't dun sittin' on it yet. (sumbuddy teech me how to uze the delete key)

YayTacori will you try to play fetch me with cuz I hate it. This is my "if you try to take this away from me to play your stupid game of fetch it will end badly" face.

 

[Maisie]

Is he a Bengal? He is very handsome!

 

[Matata]

Is he a Bengal? He is very handsome!

He's a savannah cat Maisie. One of a trio of devilishly delightful boys.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Maliik! I can provide you sanctuary from your mother!

Hurray! Can I bringz the sofa cause I ain't dun shreddin' it yet.
Oh noes, oh NOESSS, Santy Paws, I didn't meen to say "shreddin" I meant "sittin" I ain't dun sittin' on it yet. (sumbuddy teech me how to uze the delete key)

YayTacori will you try to play fetch me with cuz I hate it. This is my "if you try to take this away from me to play your stupid game of fetch it will end badly" face.

Maliik, you are just clearly misunderstood! I will totally play fetch with you! Fetch is supposed to be played with you just keeping the toy in your mouth. Others are confused on how to play fetch. There's no throwing and retrieving. Only Maliik keeping his toy. That's the game of fetch.

As for the couch, I'm prettttty sure your mommy bought that couch so it WOULD be shredded! Why else would she bring a huge piece of furniture, and put it smack dab in the middle of the room? It makes sense Maliik! She likes distressed things, she's just being secretive. Like her bling and hiding the good chocolate. Maliik, bring me the good chocolate.

 

[Matata]

Sweet Maliik,

Your mummy is a very clever person - she's just skippin' out on church and blaming it on her knees! You better leave extra cat hair on her clothes just to let her know you are onto her! If you know where the chocolate is, show dad - it would be a good thing to have him on your side, just incase another 'accusatory and inflammatory' situation should come up again.

Does she just buy you the no name cat food too? No salmon? No catnip? Mommy is headed down the 'coal in the stocking road' if she is not careful.... ( ) Did she forget that I can "see her when she's sleeping"?!

Now you, my little friend, you are too sweet and honest and I just know that you had nothing to do with those snowmen -- it was definitely the other cats. I totally believe you!

Your new BFF,
Santy Paws
XOX

Dear Santy Paws,
Momma said that she ain't scared of you and your lumpy coal threts. She said the road to perdition is funner and paved with bling. She didnt get good bling from dad until she was bad, very very bad and that's when she got her carats. I'm not sure I unnerstand this stuff. I just want to snort that great catnip mommy gives me. I get the zoomies from it.
Your BCF,
Maliik

 

[Enerchi]

Maliik! I can provide you sanctuary from your mother!

Hurray! Can I bringz the sofa cause I ain't dun shreddin' it yet.
Oh noes, oh NOESSS, Santy Paws, I didn't meen to say "shreddin" I meant "sittin" I ain't dun sittin' on it yet. (sumbuddy teech me how to uze the delete key)

YayTacori will you try to play fetch me with cuz I hate it. This is my "if you try to take this away from me to play your stupid game of fetch it will end badly" face.

Maliik, you are just clearly misunderstood! I will totally play fetch with you! Fetch is supposed to be played with you just keeping the toy in your mouth. Others are confused on how to play fetch. There's no throwing and retrieving. Only Maliik keeping his toy. That's the game of fetch.

As for the couch, I'm prettttty sure your mommy bought that couch so it WOULD be shredded! Why else would she bring a huge piece of furniture, and put it smack dab in the middle of the room? It makes sense Maliik! She likes distressed things, she's just being secretive. Like her bling and hiding the good chocolate. Maliik, bring me the good chocolate.

MALIIK.... BRING ME THE BLING! (the heck with chocolate! )

 

[Enerchi]

Sweet Maliik,

Your mummy is a very clever person - she's just skippin' out on church and blaming it on her knees! You better leave extra cat hair on her clothes just to let her know you are onto her! If you know where the chocolate is, show dad - it would be a good thing to have him on your side, just incase another 'accusatory and inflammatory' situation should come up again.

Does she just buy you the no name cat food too? No salmon? No catnip? Mommy is headed down the 'coal in the stocking road' if she is not careful.... ( ) Did she forget that I can "see her when she's sleeping"?!

Now you, my little friend, you are too sweet and honest and I just know that you had nothing to do with those snowmen -- it was definitely the other cats. I totally believe you!

Your new BFF,
Santy Paws
XOX

Dear Santy Paws,
Momma said that she ain't scared of you and your lumpy coal threts. She said the road to perdition is funner and paved with bling. She didnt get good bling from dad until she was bad, very very bad and that's when she got her carats. I'm not sure I unnerstand this stuff. I just want to snort that great catnip mommy gives me. I get the zoomies from it.
Your BCF,
Maliik

ooooh... do tell....

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Maliik! I can provide you sanctuary from your mother!

Hurray! Can I bringz the sofa cause I ain't dun shreddin' it yet.
Oh noes, oh NOESSS, Santy Paws, I didn't meen to say "shreddin" I meant "sittin" I ain't dun sittin' on it yet. (sumbuddy teech me how to uze the delete key)

YayTacori will you try to play fetch me with cuz I hate it. This is my "if you try to take this away from me to play your stupid game of fetch it will end badly" face.

Maliik, you are just clearly misunderstood! I will totally play fetch with you! Fetch is supposed to be played with you just keeping the toy in your mouth. Others are confused on how to play fetch. There's no throwing and retrieving. Only Maliik keeping his toy. That's the game of fetch.

As for the couch, I'm prettttty sure your mommy bought that couch so it WOULD be shredded! Why else would she bring a huge piece of furniture, and put it smack dab in the middle of the room? It makes sense Maliik! She likes distressed things, she's just being secretive. Like her bling and hiding the good chocolate. Maliik, bring me the good chocolate.

MALIIK.... BRING ME THE BLING! (the heck with chocolate! )

Hey hey there! Santy Claus!!! You're supposed to give, not take!

Psst- Maliik,bring me the chocolate AND the bling

 

[Matata]

Maliik, you are just clearly misunderstood! I will totally play fetch with you! Fetch is supposed to be played with you just keeping the toy in your mouth. Others are confused on how to play fetch. There's no throwing and retrieving. Only Maliik keeping his toy. That's the game of fetch.

As for the couch, I'm prettttty sure your mommy bought that couch so it WOULD be shredded! Why else would she bring a huge piece of furniture, and put it smack dab in the middle of the room? It makes sense Maliik! She likes distressed things, she's just being secretive. Like her bling and hiding the good chocolate. Maliik, bring me the good chocolate.

Heyyyyy, whut are trying to do, pull the mouse over my eyez. First you sez I dont hafta fetch and then you want me to bring you choklet??!! I smell a rat and I eat ratzes.

 

[Maisie]

Is he a Bengal? He is very handsome!

He's a savannah cat Maisie. One of a trio of devilishly delightful boys.

He is gorgeous! I wish we could get another cat but I fear that Gracie would either pack up and leave in disgust or attack it

 

[Matata]

MALIIK.... BRING ME THE BLING! (the heck with chocolate! )

Et tu Enerchi? Yu and YayTacori think I'm stoopid. I am in enuf truble already today. As far as mom's badness goes, I'd say the cat gots my tongue if I didn't already have it.......

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

MALIIK.... BRING ME THE BLING! (the heck with chocolate! )

Et tu Enerchi? Yu and YayTacori think I'm stoopid. I am in enuf truble already today. As far as mom's badness goes, I'd say the cat gots my tongue if I didn't already have it.......

Maliik, Santy Claus may be trying to pull a fast one in you but I would never! How dare you accuse me of such a thing! I don't think your stupid, I think that you love in fear of your mother. That's why you did everything you did isn't it? You can trust me Maliik, just confess you did it. We know why, you are not a bad kitty, just confused and misunderstood. I can get you the help you need Maliik. You just need to let me in, and *ahem* I will take your mother's bling as payment for my good deed.

 

[iheartscience]

 

[Matata]

Maliik, Santy Claus may be trying to pull a fast one in you but I would never! How dare you accuse me of such a thing! I don't think your stupid, I think that you love in fear of your mother. That's why you did everything you did isn't it? You can trust me Maliik, just confess you did it. We know why, you are not a bad kitty, just confused and misunderstood. I can get you the help you need Maliik. You just need to let me in, and *ahem* I will take your mother's bling as payment for my good deed.

You is a sly one fer sure. Tryin' to rob me of my innocents. I'm savin up a big hairball for you. I confess to nuthin, nuthin, you hear! And I didn't turn on the kitchen fawcet and akcidently bump it and make a waterfall over the counter. I didn't DO it. I didn't doooo it.

 

[Matata]

And here I am foldin' the paper which noebuddy appreciates either. Mom said she is exhausted from my antiks. I'm hit by depreshun. Oh Santy Paws, I realy am a good boy.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

And here I am foldin' the paper which noebuddy appreciates either. Mom said she is exhausted from my antiks. I'm hit by depreshun. Oh Santy Paws, I realy am a good boy.

You're so beautiful Maliik! You should become a model and pay back your mommy for all the things you did.

 

[yennyfire]

Oh Lord, ya'll are too funny! I am sitting here with tears running down my face from laughing so hard!


Malik, I'm on your side (I'd offer you santuary, but our dog Zoe has never met a cat and you might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire, lol)!