Wedding shower invite list

[galvana]

What do you guys think of who i need to invite to my shower?
My best friend and maid of honor asked me to put together a list for her, we are very close so i asked her what was a reasonable number was that she could afford -
at first she said 30 - 35 - cuz she has to pay for it all her self, then she said well..............40 -45 max.
She just had a baby and she and her husband dont have that much money so I am fine keeping the number at something she can handle
BUT BUT BUT
my fiance insists that I invite his "friends wives" because they invited me to their showers yrs ago. I didn't go to them because i hardly knew them and now i dont really like them much but he is saying,,,,,,,,,,,,if they invited you to theirs, you have to invite them to yours.

IS THIS TRUE?

i feel bad for my maid of honor, i dont want the number to be 45-50 - its already at 42 because my fiance says i HAVE to invite all his cousins and aunts - ?? what do i do?

 

[marchswallowbird]

Alicia, no. It is not true. You do not have to invite people just because they invited you. You don't have to invite anyone you don't want to, unless it is immediate family and not inviting them will cause a major and irreparable family rift. If the friends wives, FI's cousins or aunts complain, so what? They'll get over it. I think you have a very good reason for not wanting to invite them (sensitivity to your MOH's finances and what she has said she can handle).

I also read somewhere that etiquette "dictates" that whoever you invite to your shower also must be invited to the wedding. I think that's a bunch of hooey also.

WHO MADE UP THESE ETIQUETTE RULES!? Some of them are just nonsensical.

 

[CaliCushion]

Personally, I believe that you can invite any subset of wedding guests to your shower. That means you can invite everyone, or a select group. I don''t think you should invite people to your shower that you are not inviting to your wedding.

If you''re worried about your maid of honor footing the bill but still want a large shower, it doesn''t have to be extravagant. Maybe you can try to have the shower at someones house or outdoors. Also, is everyone realistically going to come? Think about the number of people you think are going to actually come.