Should this mother go to jail for leaving her baby in the car?

[Tacori E-ring]

I don''t know if my views have changes since I have had a baby but give me a break.

The child was left along for a matter of minutes, in a *locked* car, never out of sight so she would give to charity. That is so far from child abuse IMHO.

 

[mrssalvo]

what happened yesterday to the woman?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 3/14/2008 7:56:51 PM
Author: mrssalvo
what happened yesterday to the woman?

charges were dropped.

 

[risingsun]

There was no evidence that this mom did anything to harm or place her child at risk. Quite the opposite, IMO. I''m grieving the loss of common sense

 

[fisherofmengirly]

This has been a hot topic of debate on the radio station I listen to, and someone called in playing devil''s advocate; I thought it was a good comment and would add to the conversation here.

The woman stated that if the mother was being "so attentive" to the child in the car, wouldn''t she have noticed an officer checking out the situation and make that person aware that she was there? Hmm... valid point, to say the least.

I''m not saying the mother wasn''t close to the van; surely she was. But, if she was also taking pictures of her other children, she likely wasn''t paying as much attention to the car where her baby was as she states she was. The officer showing concern could have just as easily been a predator lurking.

It''s just not worth the chance in my book.

 

[risingsun]

I just want to add that I see adolescents and adults in my therapy practice who are/have been the victims of abuse and neglect. If this is the worst thing that happens in this child's life, she is fortunate. It may have been a lapse of judgement, but nothing more. A few words spoken in private could have served as a reality check for the mom. I am personally and professionally appalled by what happens to our children and how difficult it is to remedy. These children, at some point, come to therapists and tell their stories. They have been broken and look to us to help them. This particular situation should never have gone this far.

 

[divergrrl]

Tgal: I live in Friggin'' Mayberry and I have been tempted to leave the kids in the car for "just a sec" to run in & get dry cleaning, etc. I''ve never done it, because I''m afraid the one time I let my guard time is the one time something bad is going to happen. Just a few days ago, I had a package to send to MIL for her bday& was driving past the post office, but it was pouring down rain. I thought...how easy would it be to leave the kids in the car, but instead I drove home & mailed it the next day. Oh well .

When I find myself so tired that the thought of lugging my 2 kids in and out of the car (really my biggest complaint in parenting since I started this adventure) makes my head hurt, I just go home--really there is nothing so important that I can''t put if off for another day. And I''m anal about not running out of groceries, etc...I never run out before I restock.

I just remember growing up, my mom used to leave us in the car all the time while she did major shopping. Of course, we got harrassed a few times. I was also a "walk to school" alone kid & I got flashed once when I was 8 (full on grownup man nudity) and had 2 cars try to pick me up (I ran & hid--knew my neighborhood pretty well from years of playing "ditchum" in the summers) on my way home on 2 different occasions. My parents also let us run wild as little kids (5 and up) and a few of us girls got "touched" by the older (say 9 or 10) year old boys. And we lived in an, ahem, "nice" area with "nice" families with "nice" children. yeah, whatever. It doesn''t matter. So yeah....I''m more protective, but I don''t need some a-hole violating or hurting my kids if I can help it. Not on my watch.

Truth is, child predators are everywhere. I think that lady was a good mom who lapsed her judgement. And the playground argument is a good one. Right now, if I go to the playground, I wear Delaney in my sling or bjorn & follow Jake around. I am not the mom who sits on a bench & lets her kid get out of sight. I can see him every second....our playgrounds have such elaborate structures, that if they round a corner they are out of sight and for quite a while. I figure,if I need to rest, I can do it while he''s home, safe, napping.

Yes. I. Am. Paranoid. But I also had some things happen to me that happen to little kids who''s parents are too laid back about watching them.




So I''m a little more

 

[Ellen]

I''m so glad the charges were dropped.

And while Heather raised the point (and a valid one) that something could happen to me at home which would leave the baby alone, at least no one could blame me for anything. And more importantly, I couldn''t blame myself for doing something that could have been avoided.

As others have said, and I did too, it''s just not worth it.

 

[diamondsrock]

When my son was young I really don''t recall leaving him alone in the car, ever. Not saying I never did it, but I really don''t remember ever doing it. Why take a chance? I tend to be on the paranoid side but I just don''t see the point of taking risks for convenience. Yes, many times it would have been easier to run in and get a gallon of milk with him in the car, but I didn''t do it. It just didnt'' feel right to me. People have different limits of what they are comfortable with I guess.

Where I used to work in retail, I would see kids (small kids mind you) walking around the store unsupervised. Used to really bother me a lot as my son was young at the time and I couldn''t imagine letting him roam freely around the store. I also used to see young kids go outside to the car with no carseats on occassion.

! Those things are just as dangerous as leaving a child unattended in a locked car, if not more dangerous. Sometimes parents just don''t think.

 

[hlmr]

I find it really surprising that most mothers posting on this thread have never had an experience where they finished strapping their children into car seats, realized they forgot their purse on the hall table, and ran back into the house to grab it. Or, went to pick up a friend and their child, ran up to the door to ring the doorbell to let them know you had arrived and were ready to head out and went back to the car. Or, stopped at the mail box to pick up the mail and didn't take their baby out of the car to do so. Things that make you go hmmmmm!

Ellen, I wasn't referring directly to you with my example of things that can happen around the home. Accidents do happen closest to home, and bad things usually happen to children at the hands of family/friends. And as far as not feeling guilty......if anything ever happened to my child, regardless of the situation, I know I would find a way to feel guilty about it, directly or indirectly.

 

[hlmr]

TGal, since this is your thread, I wanted to take this opportunity and wish you all the very best with Ttot''s birth! You must be getting very close to your due date and are undoubtedly feeling ready to pop. It will be sooooo exciting for you and TGuy to meet your new baby, and I hope things go as quickly and comfortably for you as possible!! Best wishes to you all. Heather

 

[TravelingGal]

Diver, I tell ya...it''s a miracle that we survived our childhood. I remember that my mom left me and my brother in the house by ourselves when we were no older than 3 and 2. I don''t know how long she was gone for (may have been for only minutes), but I do remember we were alone and felt fine. When I was 4, I walked to Kindergarten alone (it was about 2 blocks away). I wasn''t the only one, as I remember a fellow kindergartner yelled my name to have me wait to walk with him.

hlmr, thank you for the well wishes! Yes, it is just a waiting game now...only 1.5 weeks left until my due date. TGuy and I got into a silly tiff this yesterday, and he usually needs a full day to just let the simmering die down. This morning, I just tapped him on the shoulder and he got all uptight and asked "What?" I just gently put his hands on my tummy and softly said, "You know, we are probably going to be parents sometime next week." Then I just hugged him and that just seemed to melt away all his irritation and I got a big hug back. I''m already using the kid as a buffer...hahaha....

Well, I hope it''s next week. Wishful thinking, but I am concentrating on being positive even though I have no signs of popping this baby out whatsoever!!

 

[hlmr]

Aww, TGal, your story brought tears to my eyes.....what a very special moment between you and TGuy. And LOL about TTot being a buffer......(s)he will definitely maintain that wonderful buffering position for many years to come!!

 

[krisvrn]

Date: 3/16/2008 4:06:21 PM
Author: hlmr
I find it really surprising that most mothers posting on this thread have never had an experience where they finished strapping their children into car seats, realized they forgot their purse on the hall table, and ran back into the house to grab it. Or, went to pick up a friend and their child, ran up to the door to ring the doorbell to let them know you had arrived and were ready to head out and went back to the car. Or, stopped at the mail box to pick up the mail and didn''t take their baby out of the car to do so. Things that make you go hmmmmm!

Ellen, I wasn''t referring directly to you with my example of things that can happen around the home. Accidents do happen closest to home, and bad things usually happen to children at the hands of family/friends. And as far as not feeling guilty......if anything ever happened to my child, regardless of the situation, I know I would find a way to feel guilty about it, directly or indirectly.

Once again I say it''s hard not to get tempted to leave the little one for just a sec, but I don''t want to take that chance. My SUV is parked in our garage - attached to the house, if I forget my purse, the garage is closed& locked - the car is off- I run back in.

If I have to pick up someone, I don''t need to run to the door to ring the bell to let them know I am there, I have a cell phone, I simply call.

Mail - if it is not a convenient time , baby sleeping etc, I just get the mail later or have hubby get it. If I am in the car and baby is strapped in the car seat ~ I can drive up to my mailbox at the end of my driveway.

I think with careful planning and lots of "taking the long way" no shortcuts,it''s possible. Sorry I don''t mean to argue with you but just to point out there are ways.
I am glad the charges were dropped for the mother but it is just to risky to leave a child out in a parking lot, with car looked alone even for just a second. so many times, we say or think "oh it will be ok, it''s only a second, or it can''t happen to me". I guess call me paranoid but I always think, yes it can happen, no it''s not ok, or in a second or two - things can happen!

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 3/16/2008 4:06:21 PM
Author: hlmr
I find it really surprising that most mothers posting on this thread have never had an experience where they finished strapping their children into car seats, realized they forgot their purse on the hall table, and ran back into the house to grab it. Or, went to pick up a friend and their child, ran up to the door to ring the doorbell to let them know you had arrived and were ready to head out and went back to the car. Or, stopped at the mail box to pick up the mail and didn't take their baby out of the car to do so. Things that make you go hmmmmm!

my guess is most mom's (the one's not posting) have done this and probably feel bad saying anything or that it will make them look like a bad mother.

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 3/15/2008 10:53:31 PM
Author: risingsun
I just want to add that I see adolescents and adults in my therapy practice who are/have been the victims of abuse and neglect. If this is the worst thing that happens in this child's life, she is fortunate. It may have been a lapse of judgement, but nothing more. A few words spoken in private could have served as a reality check for the mom. I am personally and professionally appalled by what happens to our children and how difficult it is to remedy. These children, at some point, come to therapists and tell their stories. They have been broken and look to us to help them. This particular situation should never have gone this far.

I'm also a therapist, and I agree it gives you a different perspective. It's probably why my first thought went to the OTHER kids involved in the situation. Talk about trauma! The little girl sleeping alone in a locked, warm car for 5 minutes will never know any differently. The older kids who were so excited to spend a few minutes learning about charity and having their picture taken, then had to watch their mom being handcuffed and taken away in a police car, in the midst of total chaos and confusion. Can you even imagine what that must have been like for them? The police who thought they were protecting one child, ended up needlessly traumatizing 2 innocent others. For that reason alone, I would be livid if I were the parents. I can only imagine the nightmares and fears and distrust of police(!) they are having to deal with now.

 

[LitigatorChick]

Date: 3/17/2008 1:10:23 PM
Author: mrssalvo

Date: 3/16/2008 4:06:21 PM
Author: hlmr
I find it really surprising that most mothers posting on this thread have never had an experience where they finished strapping their children into car seats, realized they forgot their purse on the hall table, and ran back into the house to grab it. Or, went to pick up a friend and their child, ran up to the door to ring the doorbell to let them know you had arrived and were ready to head out and went back to the car. Or, stopped at the mail box to pick up the mail and didn''t take their baby out of the car to do so. Things that make you go hmmmmm!

my guess is most mom''s (the one''s not posting) have done this and probably feel bad saying anything or that it will make them look like a bad mother.

I''ve done all these things. Maybe I''m naive, a bad mother, or just Canadian (no, I don''t lock my door or my cars or anything), but I am simply not seeing a significant and real risk.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 3/17/2008 1:17:38 PM
Author: ephemery1

Date: 3/15/2008 10:53:31 PM
Author: risingsun
I just want to add that I see adolescents and adults in my therapy practice who are/have been the victims of abuse and neglect. If this is the worst thing that happens in this child's life, she is fortunate. It may have been a lapse of judgement, but nothing more. A few words spoken in private could have served as a reality check for the mom. I am personally and professionally appalled by what happens to our children and how difficult it is to remedy. These children, at some point, come to therapists and tell their stories. They have been broken and look to us to help them. This particular situation should never have gone this far.

I'm also a therapist, and I agree it gives you a different perspective. It's probably why my first thought went to the OTHER kids involved in the situation. Talk about trauma! The little girl sleeping alone in a locked, warm car for 5 minutes will never know any differently. The older kids who were so excited to spend a few minutes learning about charity and having their picture taken, then had to watch their mom being handcuffed and taken away in a police car, in the midst of total chaos and confusion. Can you even imagine what that must have been like for them? The police who thought they were protecting one child, ended up needlessly traumatizing 2 innocent others. For that reason alone, I would be livid if I were the parents. I can only imagine the nightmares and fears and distrust of police(!) they are having to deal with now.

I totally agree with you. There is trauma which now exists for the other children and the mom. It could have been avoided by using some critical thinking skills. There seems to be a short supply of that going around these days

 

[krisvrn]

style="WIDTH: 81%; HEIGHT: 407px">Date: 3/17/2008 1:46:31 PM
Author: LitigatorChick

Date: 3/17/2008 1:10:23 PM
Author: mrssalvo

Date: 3/16/2008 4:06:21 PM
Author: hlmr
I find it really surprising that most mothers posting on this thread have never had an experience where they finished strapping their children into car seats, realized they forgot their purse on the hall table, and ran back into the house to grab it. Or, went to pick up a friend and their child, ran up to the door to ring the doorbell to let them know you had arrived and were ready to head out and went back to the car. Or, stopped at the mail box to pick up the mail and didn''t take their baby out of the car to do so. Things that make you go hmmmmm!

my guess is most mom''s (the one''s not posting) have done this and probably feel bad saying anything or that it will make them look like a bad mother.

I''ve done all these things. Maybe I''m naive, a bad mother, or just Canadian (no, I don''t lock my door or my cars or anything), but I am simply not seeing a significant and real risk.

I think there may be a cultural difference. I live in the midwestern part of the US, in an upper middle class suburban area
and we lock our car doors & house doors. So LC, are break ins or robberies not common in Canada?

 

[LitigatorChick]

I don''t know if robberies or more or less common here. I can''t imagine that the stats would be that much different. I am really not sure why I am not that worried about this kind of stuff. I guess if someone wants to steal stuff from my house, they will get in. I think it is a cultural thing, to a certain extent.

 

[hlmr]

Date: 3/17/2008 12:25:25 PM
Author: krisvrn

Date: 3/16/2008 4:06:21 PM
Author: hlmr
I find it really surprising that most mothers posting on this thread have never had an experience where they finished strapping their children into car seats, realized they forgot their purse on the hall table, and ran back into the house to grab it. Or, went to pick up a friend and their child, ran up to the door to ring the doorbell to let them know you had arrived and were ready to head out and went back to the car. Or, stopped at the mail box to pick up the mail and didn''t take their baby out of the car to do so. Things that make you go hmmmmm!

Ellen, I wasn''t referring directly to you with my example of things that can happen around the home. Accidents do happen closest to home, and bad things usually happen to children at the hands of family/friends. And as far as not feeling guilty......if anything ever happened to my child, regardless of the situation, I know I would find a way to feel guilty about it, directly or indirectly.

Once again I say it''s hard not to get tempted to leave the little one for just a sec, but I don''t want to take that chance. My SUV is parked in our garage - attached to the house, if I forget my purse, the garage is closed& locked - the car is off- I run back in.

If I have to pick up someone, I don''t need to run to the door to ring the bell to let them know I am there, I have a cell phone, I simply call.

Mail - if it is not a convenient time , baby sleeping etc, I just get the mail later or have hubby get it. If I am in the car and baby is strapped in the car seat ~ I can drive up to my mailbox at the end of my driveway.

I think with careful planning and lots of ''taking the long way'' no shortcuts,it''s possible. Sorry I don''t mean to argue with you but just to point out there are ways.
I am glad the charges were dropped for the mother but it is just to risky to leave a child out in a parking lot, with car looked alone even for just a second. so many times, we say or think ''oh it will be ok, it''s only a second, or it can''t happen to me''. I guess call me paranoid but I always think, yes it can happen, no it''s not ok, or in a second or two - things can happen!

Well, I guess I am a bit of a dinosaur in the Mother department, because I didn''t have a cell phone when my son was young. And, I sure didn''t have a garage attached to my house when I was a young Mom (well actually I did, but you couldn''t get into the house from there, lol). And as for the mail, well, there was no one in sight in between my car and the mailbox, which was about 2 feet, so I figure it was pretty safe for me to get the mail, especially since hubby didn’t even know which box was ours, HA!

And yes, at the time, I did live in a small town too, so I understand that makes a difference.

Don''t apologize for stating your case krisvrn, it is as valid as anyone else’s, but I will let you know that I feel confident I was as good of a mother as I could have been, and never intentially put my baby in harms way. I wasn''t overly paranoid either, so I didn''t feel a need to take him out of his car seat for every little thing. And of course, I never, ever let him leave my sight. And yes, things can happen, but life can take away your parental control very quickly, and not in the ways you might expect.

 

[hlmr]

Date: 3/17/2008 1:10:23 PM
Author: mrssalvo

Date: 3/16/2008 4:06:21 PM
Author: hlmr
I find it really surprising that most mothers posting on this thread have never had an experience where they finished strapping their children into car seats, realized they forgot their purse on the hall table, and ran back into the house to grab it. Or, went to pick up a friend and their child, ran up to the door to ring the doorbell to let them know you had arrived and were ready to head out and went back to the car. Or, stopped at the mail box to pick up the mail and didn''t take their baby out of the car to do so. Things that make you go hmmmmm!

my guess is most mom''s (the one''s not posting) have done this and probably feel bad saying anything or that it will make them look like a bad mother.

I am sure you are right MrsS. It is a shame that we are all so judgemental of others, especially in the mothering department. I think like anything else in life, our mothering experiences vary. Our choices are not necessary right or wrong, but different, and right for us and our families.

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 3/17/2008 7:58:28 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 3/17/2008 1:17:38 PM
Author: ephemery1

Date: 3/15/2008 10:53:31 PM
Author: risingsun
I just want to add that I see adolescents and adults in my therapy practice who are/have been the victims of abuse and neglect. If this is the worst thing that happens in this child's life, she is fortunate. It may have been a lapse of judgement, but nothing more. A few words spoken in private could have served as a reality check for the mom. I am personally and professionally appalled by what happens to our children and how difficult it is to remedy. These children, at some point, come to therapists and tell their stories. They have been broken and look to us to help them. This particular situation should never have gone this far.

I'm also a therapist, and I agree it gives you a different perspective. It's probably why my first thought went to the OTHER kids involved in the situation. Talk about trauma! The little girl sleeping alone in a locked, warm car for 5 minutes will never know any differently. The older kids who were so excited to spend a few minutes learning about charity and having their picture taken, then had to watch their mom being handcuffed and taken away in a police car, in the midst of total chaos and confusion. Can you even imagine what that must have been like for them? The police who thought they were protecting one child, ended up needlessly traumatizing 2 innocent others. For that reason alone, I would be livid if I were the parents. I can only imagine the nightmares and fears and distrust of police(!) they are having to deal with now.

You know, I have to say.. When I have been with my husband in uniform, how often often often I hear a Mother say to her child... 'IF YOU AREN'T GOOD.. THIS BIG POLICEMAN IS GOING TO BE MEAN AND THROW YOU IN JAIL FOREVER...' In these cases.. you see the happy child recoil in absolute fear.. I HATE IT.

When placed in a similar in uniform situation, with a Fireman.. I have heard, 'SEE THIS MAN? HE WILL ALWAYS PROTECT YOU..'

BAD BAD BAD..

A parent should NEVER tell their child to be afraid from the police or that if they are 'naughty' that they will harm you.. I have heard it countless times and each time breaks my heart more and more..

I do understand where you're coming from and while I agree the police were WRONG in this instance, I can tell you firsthand the times I have seen where they were not.

SDL, that is exactly my point. Because of one security officer's bad judgment in this situation, these children could now have a fear/distrust of ALL policemen, and that is incredibly sad. Think about it: these parents didn't tell their kids the police would harm them if they're naughty, instead, the police PROVED that they will harm them even if they're NOT naughty! No matter how the parents try to explain it to them now, they're still going to be left with that image in their heads.

My uncle was a police officer/detective, so I fortunately grew up trusting and feeling comfortable with the police. If, however, I had seen my mother handcuffed and forced into a police car on an afternoon outing to donate money to charity, I doubt I would have had the same pleasant associations.

 

[neatfreak]

I know I am not a parent yet, but HLMR, I see I see a distinct difference personally between what you are describing and the situation at hand.

I WOULD run back into my own house for something, get out of the car to get the mail out of MY mailbox, etc. But I wouldn''t leave a child in a public place by themselves, even in a locked car.

May be a silly distinction, but for me my home is my home...and I feel safer doing those things there than in public. At that point to me it is not really any different than having kids playing in your yard and you run into get the phone, or the kids are downstairs and you are upstairs, etc.

But that is just me!

 

[hlmr]

Date: 3/17/2008 9:40:07 PM
Author: neatfreak
I know I am not a parent yet, but HLMR, I see I see a distinct difference personally between what you are describing and the situation at hand.

I WOULD run back into my own house for something, get out of the car to get the mail out of MY mailbox, etc. But I wouldn't leave a child in a public place by themselves, even in a locked car.

May be a silly distinction, but for me my home is my home...and I feel safer doing those things there than in public. At that point to me it is not really any different than having kids playing in your yard and you run into get the phone, or the kids are downstairs and you are upstairs, etc.

But that is just me!

My point is where do you draw the line? And who should draw it?? And how and when do these little transgressions become criminal and negligent activities???

And btw, my mailbox is a public place and so is my street. And just because you feel safer at home does not mean it always is. Children are taken from their homes and their yards too.

Perhaps this is a better example for which you can judge. I remember putting a garbage bag full of clothes in the goodwill bin at the salvation army on more than one occasion when my son was little. That is a public place, just like the one where this mother left her baby sleeping in the car. Should I have taken my baby out of the car, put him on the ground, retrieved the bag out of my trunk, and put it in the bin? What would have been the right thing to do? I chose to leave him in the car when I did this and walked about 10 feet to the bin. Car was turned off and locked, of course, but would you consider this negligent because it was a public place?

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 3/17/2008 10:30:48 PM
Author: hlmr

Date: 3/17/2008 9:40:07 PM

Author: neatfreak

I know I am not a parent yet, but HLMR, I see I see a distinct difference personally between what you are describing and the situation at hand.


I WOULD run back into my own house for something, get out of the car to get the mail out of MY mailbox, etc. But I wouldn't leave a child in a public place by themselves, even in a locked car.


May be a silly distinction, but for me my home is my home...and I feel safer doing those things there than in public. At that point to me it is not really any different than having kids playing in your yard and you run into get the phone, or the kids are downstairs and you are upstairs, etc.


But that is just me!

My point is where do you draw the line? And who should draw it?? And how and when do these little transgressions become criminal and negligent activities???


And btw, my mailbox is a public place and so is my street. And just because you feel safer at home does not mean it always is. Children are taken from their homes and their yards too.


Perhaps this is a better example for which you can judge. I remember putting a garbage bag full of clothes in the goodwill bin at the salvation army on more than one occasion when my son was little. That is a public place, just like the one where this mother left her baby sleeping in the car. Should I have taken my baby out of the car, put him on the ground, retrieved the bag out of my trunk, and put it in the bin? What would have been the right thing to do? I chose to leave him in the car when I did this and walked about 10 feet to the bin. Car was turned off and locked, of course, but would you consider this negligent because it was a public place?

I agree with the idea that it isn't negligence. As someone in the child welfare field (albeit only a researcher) I feel that terming this kind of stuff negligence is as irresponsible as what the mother may have done. There is a reason that people that are actually in the field (and police usually DO NOT have this training) take their time with claims and don't jump to negligence claims, because as ephemery said it can do a lot more harm than good.

I think that everyone needs to make their own choices about these things, but I *personally* would avoid running errands where I needed to leave the car while I had a kid in the car. Do I think it's negligent of a parent if they drop off a bag at goodwill? No. But it just isn't something I personally am comfortable with for myself. I was just pointing out that in my perspective the activities you mentioned before ARE different than the situation at hand, that's all.

While I don't think these children were neglected, I do think that it is inappropriate to leave children in the car while your focus is elsewhere, i.e., taking pictures of other kids. That is possibly nailing down more my level of comfort than the location exactly. If you get out of your car to drop mail in the mailbox/clothes in a drop bin, you can still be watching your car. If you are focusing on taking pictures of your other children, then your focus is no longer on the child in the car, which does make me personally uncomfortable. So I think that the police should have watched the child and privately told the mother it wasn't a good idea. I DON'T think she should hvae been charged with anything at all. Just wanted to clear that up.

 

[krisvrn]

Wow this thread has been such an interesting one! I agree things can happen and I agree with hlmr saying this "And yes, things can happen, but life can take away your parental control very quickly, and not in the ways you might expect"

I guess my logic, I will try everything in my power to protect my child, I will try very hard specially in SITUATIONS that I have CONTROL IN (i.e., like deciding to leave my child in the car or not) But I agree, I don''t have control and I lose all control if I am in my house, doors locked and secured and someone breaks in to kidnap my child or if my child gets some serious illness etc.

My point.. there are already so many risks, dangers out there. Why should I "add" more risks if I can avoid them in the first place.

 

[LitigatorChick]

Date: 3/18/2008 1:24:07 AM
Author: krisvrn
Wow this thread has been such an interesting one! I agree things can happen and I agree with hlmr saying this ''And yes, things can happen, but life can take away your parental control very quickly, and not in the ways you might expect''

I guess my logic, I will try everything in my power to protect my child, I will try very hard specially in SITUATIONS that I have CONTROL IN (i.e., like deciding to leave my child in the car or not) But I agree, I don''t have control and I lose all control if I am in my house, doors locked and secured and someone breaks in to kidnap my child or if my child gets some serious illness etc.

My point.. there are already so many risks, dangers out there. Why should I ''add'' more risks if I can avoid them in the first place.

Krisvrn, I love my little man like crazy. I would step in front of a moving bus to protect him. He is my world.

But the reality is that we need to live. I could protect him in my little alarmed, locked, and gated house, ensuring nothing would happen to him. That is not the life I want for us. I want him to be out and exploring the world. I want him to sense that him mommy is not afraid he is going to be kidnapped. I believe that part of the reason my little boy is so carefree and happy is that he has not had a life exposed to fear and paranoia.

For me, I see the brief seconds he is in the car alone as an insignificant risk. For other people, it may be a bigger risk. The point is that there are risks in life every single day, and I can''t protect my son from all of them. I need to take "reasonable risks", and I think a second in the car as I dash into the drycleaner is just fine.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I thought of this thread today when I left my baby in the car alone!

I put her in the car, locked and alarmed, to return the cart to the cart exchange (which I always park as close as possible to). I was 10 feet away for *maybe* 30 seconds. Does this make me a bad mom? This isn''t such a black and white issue and (no offense) but I don''t think it is fair for people who aren''t parents yet to judge. Like LC, my daughter is my world and I would do anything for her. But there are situations (like when I gas my car up, get my mail out of the mailbox at the end of my driveway, return or sometimes get a shopping cart) where she is alone, locked in my car. Should *I* be arrested too?

 

[TravelingGal]

I think you''re right Tacori...you can''t say until you''re a mom. You just have to use your best judgment. I do think that where one lives does make a major impact. If I lived somewhere cold, I''d rather leave my baby in a comfy warm car for a minute or two instead of taking her out. Here in LA, I would probably take the baby out of the car as much as possible. Just don''t trust these crazy angeleans.