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She can't call...

Begonia

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 2, 2011
Messages
3,726
I miss my Mum.

She passed away 4 years ago.

All of my life, no matter where I was, Mum called me on this day, first thing in the morning and would say "46 years ago today, they put you on my stomach and said it's a girl! Happy Birthday Kel."

I've been wandering around in circles today, and couldn't figure out why. I guess I was waiting for the phone to ring... :blackeye:
 
aw I am so sorry. huge hugs

Happy birthday!
 
I'm sorry about about your loss. (((Hugs)))

Happy Birthday! :wavey:
 
Oh, I'm so sorry Begonia.

Happy birthday, dear.
 
So sorry, Begonia.
 
I'm so sorry...Hugs and Happy Birthday!

I may have mentioned this on PS before, but Maria Shriver spoke at a women's conference here in Ca when she was first lady. Her mother had recently passed away and she said she was told it got easier - but so far it wasn't easier. It was harder, and she broke down and cried.

That stuck with me. Maybe I can see myself dealing with it better, but when I lose my mom, I don't see it getting easier for a long, loooooooooooooong time. Your story made me cry, because I think many of us can relate that no one loves us more than mom.
 
My heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry Begonia - big hugs to you and Happy Birthday.
 
I'm sorry. I hope you still enjoy your birthday.
 
Oh Begonia, I am so very sorry. I have been there and know exactly how you feel. Sending you hugs.
 
Thanks everyone. Truly.

Had to go away and shed some tears.

46 year old orphan who feels like a 6 year old orphan today.

Go hug your Mums (and Dads) will you? Please? For me?

One day they will be gone and they just don't come back no matter how long you wait or how much you look for them.
 
Grief is such a difficult process. I am sorry for your loss. Hope you can celebrate your birthday in a way that would have made your mom happy.
 
I'm sorry for your loss. I became an orphan 14 years ago when I was 36 years old. My birthday is just before Mother's Day. It's always hard for me to hear or see ads for Mother's day. I feel envious of people who still have one or both parents sometimes too. I think it will always feel like that, but maybe things will somehow get easier as more time passes. I don't know yet.

Take care. Happy Birthday.
 
Begonia, I'm very sorry you're having a rough birthday and missing your mother. I know how you feel. I lost my mom about a year and a half ago, and it's so hard. And those special days are all the more difficult. Heck, even the not-special days are difficult. My mom and I always had our weekly telephone chat on Saturday mornings. For years. Even after a year and a half, I still find myself on Saturday mornings thinking about those calls. I guess I always will.

And, my birthday is right around the corner. I always liked having a birthday that was close to Mother's Day, sometimes it's even on Mother's Day. But now, not so much.

I'm sorry for the little threadjack, Begonia. I do hope you can celebrate your birthday and have some fun, all the while remembering the woman who loved you the most.

Lyra, happy upcoming birthday to you, too.
 
I'm so sorry, Begonia. I know the feeling, since my mother died just a bit over 4 years ago, too, and there is not a single day that I don't think about her. On what would have been her 90th birthday in April, our daughters, one of my sisters, my husband and I went out to a tea room that she used to love and had afternoon tea to celebrate her life. It really meant a lot to us to share favorite memories of her, have a few laughs, and feel as though she was there with us in spirit.

Do you have anyone you could call (a sibling?) and share some birthday related stories about your mother? If there isn't anyone you feel like calling, how about coming back here and sharing a few stories about you mother with us? I'd love to hear more about her, since she sounds like a wonderful lady.
 
My heart goes out to you, Begonia. I think that no matter what age we are, losing our mothers has to be one of the hardest things. We are the same age, but I lost my own mother 33 years ago. I say that not to compare, but to let you know that I've dealt with this for a very long time. The one piece of advice I can give you, was actually given to me by my mom, when my Nanna, Mom's mother, passed away. The told me to talk to Nanna. Just say what comes to mind, whether it's big or small. She'll hear you. I've been talking to mom for 33 years now. Sometimes I'm filling her in on my day, sometimes I'm complaining about my day, sometimes it's just a 'hi.' I hope this can help you, they way it helps me.
 
Oh Begonia, I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a mother is one of the most difficult losses I think. When my maternal grandmother died unexpectedly (in 1992) my mom's health took a downward spiral. Her mom was gone and the grief and pain intense. She developed a myriad of autoimmune diseases and it took years to recover her health back. It was the shock and grief of losing her mom. Those were dark days. We still miss my grandmother terribly (over 20 years now) but I can say that yes, the pain is less for us and for my mom.

My heart goes out to you. There is no one like a mother. Sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts. I hope your birthday has some happiness and that you can cherish all the good times you shared with your darling mother. She is watching over you.
 
Hugs to you sweetie! Next month marks 5 years since my mom passed away. That 1st anniversary of her death was the hardest. I then put together a scrapbook on dvd with photos of mom from her childhood up till the time she got very sick. I also included photos of places we used to visit all the time. I set it to all the music she and my dad listened to all the time way back when. Then on the anniversary of her death I watch it a few times and honor her by planting her favorite flowers in the garden and on her grave- red snapdragons. I also remind myself that mom really isn't gone because I am a part of her and she is aways in my heart.
 
I don't have anything to add except **hugs** and happy birthday.
 
I am so sorry. :((

I hope you are still able to enjoy your birthday and spend it with those who you love.
 
I am so sorry, big hugs! (Even when we are +40 we need our mums).
 
I am so sorry, I know how hard birthdays can be....

I lost my mom ten years ago last February. I miss her everyday, and I cannot say it gets easier. The acute pain goes away, but the deeper pain hurts more. My mom died suddenly, before any of us had gotten married or had children. Three of the four of us now have kids, and it hurts to think about how much my mom, and our kids (her grandbabies) are missing.She put absolutely no pressure on us, but she would have been so happy to be a grandmother, she was sooooo looking forward to it, she had even collected things to give to her then not-yet-born grandchildren.

My mom's dad passed on January 31st of this year, at 90. Myself and my sisters raced/drove 200 miles to see him before he passed, and we made it. He waited for us, and passed 5 minutes after we arrived. What a gift he gave us, to wait for us. He died with his wife of 67 years at his side, three of his five living children, four granddaughters, and three great grandchildren around him. Even in that moment I was so sad, as I thought it wasn't fair that my mom didn't get to be part of that milestone either, at least not on this side...

My son will be two tomorrow and even his birthday has an inner sadness to me, because it is just one more celebration she can't be part of here on earth.

sorry for the pity party....

Happy birthday to you
 
You never get over missing them. My mother died 20 yrs ago, way too young, and I still miss her every day. Have a wonderful birthday anyway & include your love for her & hers for you as lifelong gifts.

--- Laurie
 
:wavey: ..big Hugs and Happy Birthday Begonia.. :!:
 
How sad, Begonia. Such a loss is hard to recover from and time takes time. I hope you find some peace today.

Wishing you a happy birthday and hope there is a bright spot somewhere in the day, that represents a special moment your Mom is trying to share with you {{{HUGS}}}
 
Begonia: your post breaks my heart. I am so very sorry that your Mom is not physically here with you. But she will always be with you, in the memories you have of her. Not the same I know, but hopefully that thought can bring you some peace. Happy birthday to you.
 
Happy Birthday. I know just how you feel. I used to talk to my mom every day on the phone. After she died I sometimes found myself dialing her number. I've always thought it would be so much easier to lose people if you could still talk on the phone.
 
Happy birthday. I like to think those loved ones are still with us, and I am sure she sends you birthday wishes from above.

Sending you a hug.
 
Sending you love and hugs from across the oceans.

I know how you are feeling. I lost my Dad suddenly last year. All I can say is I truly believe they never, ever leave you. Whilst not physically with you, they remain in your heart, mind and in your thoughts.
Talk to her. She will help you through this.

We are always here.
 
My heart is with you, Begonia. I am over 60, but I still miss my late mother and I always will. I believe that love is forever. At least for as long as we live. Just as she always loved you, you will always love her.

She is still with you in your memories and your heart. I am sorry for your loss of her in your daily life. It is so hard!

Hugs,
Deb
 
Thank you for your posts one and all...

I keep reading them over and over- so much wisdom there...and kindness.

As you have all said, the love doesn't die. Sometimes I can turn my mind off and reach her through the love. Not too often yet, as the grief gets in the way a lot. I believe I will grieve for her until the day I die.

It is 4 years on now, and it has eased a fair bit from day to day, so I don't want you all to think I am stuck in the grief. Today was hard though.

Thanks for listening and giving me some of your strength. It really helped, more than you know.
 
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