Wedding Said no to being my friends bridemaid

[blissfulbride]

My friend has changed for date so many times its not even funny. So when she finally decide on the date ( 2 weeks before mine). I was fine with it and was excited for her. But today she drop the bomb on my by asking me if i would be her bridemaid. I almost had a heartattack. Is she crazy? I had to say no because its cutting it to close to mine. I feel bad but I dont want to be in it at all. I would''nt be any good to her and I was being honest.


did i do the right thing ?

 

[Shoopy]

I’m kind of iffy on this one. It is way too close to your wedding and she knows that so it isn’t fair to you. But what would your job as a bridesmaid had been besides just standing there and looking beautiful?? If she had asked for you to be her MOH then that’s a different story.

Either way, you did the right thing. You don’t need that kind of stress 2 weeks before your wedding!

 

[meresal]

Yes you did. I have done the same thing, and instead, I offered to hand out programs, and/or stand at the guest book before the ceremony. Like you, I just felt that I wouldn't be able to give her all the attention and time as if a regular bridesmaid would, throughout the entire process (dress fittings, showers, bachelorette party planning... there really is alot of committment if you think about it). I hope she completely understood that it probably would have caused problems down the line...

 

[CJ2008]

I would feel absolutely no guilt saying no to being a bridesmaid, much less two weeks before my own wedding! But that''s me - and I understand that others view being a bridesmaid as an honor/nice thing. I think it''s just a PITA, and I have made a policy for myself that I will never again agree to be a bridesmaid. I''ll help out, but not under any official titles.

That said, I still feel that you''re perfectly justified with your wedding being only two weeks after hers. I think she''ll understand.

 

[blissfulbride]

I felt bad but I feel I made the right choice. My heart wouldn''t be in it, and that''s not a bridemaid anyone would want. I just sent her a text and this is what i said


I hope you are not upset and understand where im coming from
Its best that I be a guest, and enjoy your day. I just need to
avoid any added stress, and will be focusing on my wedding also
sorry.

 

[CJ2008]

blissful, I think what you said it''s just fine, and it''s the truth...if this is a really close/loved friend, I would follow up with a phone call though...just so you could talk to her about it. I would be very surprised if she was anything less than completely understanding, but if you''re doubting how she''s feeling, call her.

 

[blissfulbride]

SHE REALLY ISN''T A VERY CLOSE FRIEND ! she just got back into my life a few months ago

 

[CJ2008]

bliss, oh my goodness, then I CERTAINLY wouldn''t worry about it any more!

 

[bensbride]

My fiance is a groomsman in a wedding that was origionally scheduled to be over a month before ours, and has been rescheduled to exactly two weeks before our wedding. Also, one of our groomsmen is one of their ushers. Its super annoying, I agree. We purposely stayed away from their date when we were picking our date, and then they went and changed it. It doesn''t help that this couple isn''t number one on my list of favorite people. I totally understand where you''re coming from and I think you made the right choice. Part of me really wishes my fiance would''ve said no.

 

[ladyciel]

I wouldn't worry about it too much as long as you're being honest with her. Any bride should be able to understand where you're coming from. That said, I don't think it's an impossible feat if it's something you would like to do. FI is our best man's best man in his wedding exactly 2 weeks before ours. We chose our date already knowing theirs, but we were careful to run the idea past them first. They were super gracious and said we'd make it work somehow - just do what you have to do. We would have preferred more time between the weddings, but we were working around a lot of obstacles and ended up w/o many options. Best man's wedding is in FI's home town (5 hours away from us and our wedding), so we'll be taking that trip 2 weeks before our own wedding. Then best man and his new wife will be traveling up for our wedding just days after they get back from their honeymoon. Other than the extra traveling we'll have to do, it really hasn't been a problem. However, I think GM have it easier than BMs when it comes to time commitment and planning.

ETA: I should add that FI and best man grew up together and were pretty much inseparable until FI went away to collage. The four of us seem to have taken the view that it's great they both found love/happiness and a crazy coincidence that the timing is so close. Even weirder is they're marrying women with the same first name. If there were any feelings of resentment or jealousy it just wouldn't work as well.