RSVP card wording: the bane of our existence

[musey]

We just got our invite proofs back, and everything looks beautiful--I can't wait to see them in-person! We're using Eiffel Printing and Design, based out of Seattle, WA.

There's a bit of confusion/contention over the RSVP card.

Here is the wording I asked for:

RSVP
Kindly reply by the ninth of September
Name(s) ______________________________

___ of ___ Happily Accept
___ Regretfully Decline

We have reserved ___ seat(s) in your honor


This is what she sent:

I don't understand why she made it "accepts" and "declines" instead of "accept" and "decline"?? Am I being stupid about grammar?

This is what I wanted it to look like:

Anyway, she thinks that the "___ of ___ happily accept(s?)" line is redundant when we have the "we have reserved..." line, so...

SHE thinks it should look like this:

 

[musey]

So here's my reasoning for what she thinks is redundant:

The "___ of ___ Happily accept" line is so that people will know to write a number, not just a check mark, there. Our guest list is 90% OOT, so we have a lot of partial families or halves of couples attending, so we need more specificity than a "yeah, we'll all be there" line.

She thinks the "names" line will accomplish that.

The "We have reserved ___ seat(s) in your honor" line is to reiterate that we can't handle any add-ons... in a nice way, of course

I know it's a bit redundant, since we will fill in the same number in the "___ of ___" line, but a little redundancy never hurt anyone... right? I just want to make sure there's no room for confusion and that we'll get all the information we need the first time, so that no clarifying phone calls will be needed.


To me, it makes sense, but our invite designer seems to think that it doesn't work, so... I figured I'd ask the peanut gallery before telling her "just do it my way!"

 

[Haven]

Hmmmm, I know what you mean, Musey, the subject/verb disagreement with the accept/accepts issue would bother me to no end.

I''m not going to pretend to be an expert with these things because we don''t generally use response cards in my circle, rather we expect people to send a formal written response in the form of a letter. My FI''s family and friends don''t do this, so we compromised by including a response card that simply said "the favour of a reply is requested by the fifteenth of June" along the top, and the rest of the card was blank. If people can''t figure out how to write a proper response with that, they''re beyond help!

Anyway . . .

I don''t think I''ve ever seen the "we have reserved ____ seats in your honor" before, but it would bother me that it is written from a different POV as the rest of the card. ("___ Happily Accept" is from the guest''s POV, yet the "we have reserved . . . " is from the host''s POV.) You could change the last bit to "please reserve ____ seats in my honor" but that sounds a bit off, doesn''t it?
I also believe that it is redundant to include both, yes, unless you are expecting to get different information from each entry--are you?

Now that we''re on the subject of redundancy--isn''t it also redundant to write "RSVP / Kindly reply by the ninth of September" rather than just "RSVP / by the ninth of September"?

I lifted these response card wordings from about.com:

The favor of a reply is requested
by June 16, 2006.
M__________________________
____Accepts with pleasure
____Declines with regrets

or

M_____________________________

Will ______ Attend



Sorry I can''t be more help. Good luck!

 

[Krissie]

Musey, I hear you - I think we have finally figured out how to phrase our RSVPs!

I have looked at yours, and I think the "___ of ___" is a bit confusing. Maybe it''s just my own issues after a long day of work, but it keeps tripping me up when I look at it. I think if you leave in the "We have reserved ___ of seat(s)" that gets the point across, and you can remove the earlier language.

Ours basically says

M___________________

___ accepts with pleasure

___ declines with regret

___ number of persons attending

 

[Haven]

OH! So YOU will be filling in the "we have reserved . . . " line? THAT makes much more sense to me, and certainly then it should be written from your POV.

In that case, I don''t believe it''s redundant if it serves the purpose to reiterate the amount of guests you have invited with each invitation.

 

[musey]

Well, specifically what I sent her was:

So the "we have reserved" line is still from the same POV as "kindly reply." I'm not exactly sure why she moved that to the bottom. Also not sure why she added the "RSVP" at the top, I guess as a title??

And honestly, if I didn't reiterate how many were actually invited, our families would send back rsvp's for the family PLUS 14-year-old daughter's boyfriend of six weeks, and mom's best friend who she NEVER travels without, and grandpa (unrelated) who they don't leave at home because he can't care for himself...

Putting names on the envelopes wouldn't hit home for them.

 

[musey]

Date: 4/21/2008 5:29:54 PM
Author: Krissie

I have looked at yours, and I think the '___ of ___' is a bit confusing.

Really?? Hmph.

I actually got that idea (as well as the "we have reserved" line) from here, a thread from aWHILE back. This is what it would look like when the guest received it:

Is it still confusing? I do think I should ask her to move the "we have reserved..." line back up top, where I asked for it initially.

 

[neatfreak]

Overall I really like them if the point is to limit guests from bringing extras.

I agree with you about the plural "agrees" and "declines". Should be singular.

But I agree with your printing co. that the "we have reserved" line is redundant. And sounds a bit awkward IMO.

I prefer it without, but with the number filled in for the __ of __ accept.

 

[Krissie]

Oooh, ok - definitely not confusing if you are filling in the number before you send it to them. I thought they were going to be responsible for that.

 

[Krissie]

Here''s another stupid observation - if you fill in the number of seats reserved, I do think it is redundant - and what if they think that means they''re allowed to bring up to 5 people (even if not the original invitees?)

Having a silly day at work so ignore me if I''m totally off.

 

[musey]

Date: 4/21/2008 5:50:52 PM
Author: Krissie
Here's another stupid observation - if you fill in the number of seats reserved, I do think it is redundant - and what if they think that means they're allowed to bring up to 5 people (even if not the original invitees?)

Aww, MAN! Do you really think people would think that?! Here I was thinking I was being as blunt as possible!

I suppose that's the whole goal of the "we have reserved _____ seats in your honor" line--so that it will be PAINFULLY clear how many they are allowed to rsvp for.

 

[musey]

Okay I don't have the same script font that our designer has, but this is basically what I wanted it to look like originally (I have no idea why she moved it around and added the "S")

To me, it looks sort of awkward/redundant when the "we have reserved ____" line is at the bottom, but not as much when it's up top below the "kindly reply" line.

 

[musey]

Maybe less confusing...

 

[musey]

Is this significantly better?

 

[Krissie]

Date: 4/21/2008 5:59:14 PM
Author: musey

Date: 4/21/2008 5:50:52 PM
Author: Krissie
Here''s another stupid observation - if you fill in the number of seats reserved, I do think it is redundant - and what if they think that means they''re allowed to bring up to 5 people (even if not the original invitees?)

Aww, MAN! Do you really think people would think that?! Here I was thinking I was being as blunt as possible!

Can I just tell you that I''m totally paranoid of what my dad''s side of the family will do with the response cards??

 

[Krissie]

PS - yes, I like your latest draft!

 

[musey]

Date: 4/21/2008 6:05:22 PM
Author: Krissie
PS - yes, I like your latest draft!

Which one--the one with or without the "we have reserved" line?

 

[Sabine]

Musey, if you are really worried about people adding extra guests, then I think you should leave the line "we have reserved seats in your honor" in, but it makes more sense to have it at the top than the bottom. I don''t think it is necessary unless you know that people you are invited are known for adding extras. The only thing I can think of for accept/accepts is that accepts would be correct if only 1 person is accepting, although I''m wondering if there is some weird singularity rule with numbers of people.

 

[Elmorton]

I like the one without the "we have reserved" writing simply because it gets the point across and it''s less writing for you.

 

[Krissie]

Without - although the positioning at the top is also better, IMO.

Date: 4/21/2008 6:10:07 PM
Author: musey

Date: 4/21/2008 6:05:22 PM
Author: Krissie
PS - yes, I like your latest draft!

Which one--the one with or without the ''we have reserved'' line?

 

[musey]

Date: 4/21/2008 6:14:44 PM
Author: Sabine

The only thing I can think of for accept/accepts is that accepts would be correct if only 1 person is accepting, although I'm wondering if there is some weird singularity rule with numbers of people.

That's what I'm wondering about, too...

It won't be right for every invitation regardless, since "Happily accepts" wouldn't work for any more than one, but I think that "1 of 1 Happily accept" sounds a lot better than "4 of 5 Happily Accepts."

 

[Haven]

I can see how worried you are about the responses you''ll get--I hope you don''t have too much trouble with them!

I like both of the latest two versions you posted. I agree with you that the "We have reserved . . . " line looks better at the top than at the bottom, definitely.

Go with the version you like best, honey, it''s your wedding and you''re the one who will have to sort through all of the responses (and their potentially irritating contents) once they are returned to you. Printers have all sorts of ideas about how things should be done, but that doesn''t mean they''re correct.

 

[musey]

Date: 4/21/2008 6:33:40 PM
Author: Haven

I can see how worried you are about the responses you''ll get--I hope you don''t have too much trouble with them!

I like both of the latest two versions you posted. I agree with you that the ''We have reserved . . . '' line looks better at the top than at the bottom, definitely.

Go with the version you like best, honey, it''s your wedding and you''re the one who will have to sort through all of the responses (and their potentially irritating contents) once they are returned to you. Printers have all sorts of ideas about how things should be done, but that doesn''t mean they''re correct.

Thanks, Haven! The designer makes all kinds of changes and tweaks without asking first (I guess she thinks I won''t notice?), so it''s been making me second-guess myself a lot!

 

[Haven]

Date: 4/21/2008 6:49:15 PM
Author: musey

Date: 4/21/2008 6:33:40 PM
Author: Haven

I can see how worried you are about the responses you''ll get--I hope you don''t have too much trouble with them!

I like both of the latest two versions you posted. I agree with you that the ''We have reserved . . . '' line looks better at the top than at the bottom, definitely.

Go with the version you like best, honey, it''s your wedding and you''re the one who will have to sort through all of the responses (and their potentially irritating contents) once they are returned to you. Printers have all sorts of ideas about how things should be done, but that doesn''t mean they''re correct.

Thanks, Haven! The designer makes all kinds of changes and tweaks without asking first (I guess she thinks I won''t notice?), so it''s been making me second-guess myself a lot!

That would make me second-guess myself, too. The consultant I worked with when we purchased our invitations had a lot of ideas about the way things should be, but as with anyone they were dictated by her own personal experiences and didn''t always match up with my own ideas. As if you need another thing to worry about, right?

Have you decided what to do? I think any choice is going to be lovely.

 

[lucy.lucy.80]

Hi Musey,

The whole RSVP wording thing had me fusturated because we have limited space and didnt want any add ons. I''ve attached the thread of what I will be using for my RSVP wording...its slightly different then yours but it may help.

I would put "____(guest fills out) out of ____ (I would fill out) will attend."


https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/rsvp-wording.76222/

 

[musey]

Date: 4/22/2008 10:50:03 AM
Author: lucy.lucy.80

I would put ''____(guest fills out) out of ____ (I would fill out) will attend.''

So, pretty much the same, just "will attend" instead of "happily accept"

 

[musey]

Date: 4/22/2008 10:01:47 AM
Author: Haven

Have you decided what to do? I think any choice is going to be lovely.

This one:

I emailed our designer about it yesterday afternoon, but haven''t heard anything back yet. Sometimes she takes awhile to write back when I go against her suggestions

haha