Retirement Parties

[nala]

I just got back from a retirement party. It lasted a whole one hour. The venue was booked for an entire evening 4-8 pm. But most guests could only bother to stick around for one hour. Is this the norm for retirement parties? I realize it's a Tuesday. But still. The retiree spent a good chunk of her life dedicated to the school. But most people couldn't be bothered to devote one evening to her. Again, Is this the norm?

 

[monarch64]

Is it even possible to rent a venue for less than 4 hours? I don't know what's considered a proper length of time to stay. When I was high school I played piano during retirement parties for teachers and was never there for more than 2 hours. Why would any guest want to stick around a retirement party chit chatting for 4 hours? Was dinner served? Was there entertainment, a presentation, some sort of ceremony? Did guests understand that this was to be an entire evening affair? I need more details before I can really form an opinion on what length of time it was appropriate for a guest to remain at this party.

 

[nala]

The invitation clearly indicated the duration. There was live music. Dinner. Alcohol. Most guests stopped by to say congrats. Then left. Few ate. But then left.

 

[monarch64]

Hmm. I doubt people wanted to hang out and drink on a Tuesday night, especially those in the education field, but maybe that's just me. Never played a retirement party that wasn't on a weekend afternoon, but I'm probably in a different region than you. It is sad that people either didn't want to stay or weren't able to stay for more than an hour. I agree that it's disappointing. I don't know what the norm is for party thrower or attendee, honestly.

 

[Snowdrop13]

Times have changed, I've noticed it in my workplace (a hospital) too. Say 15 years ago, if someone senior retired, we did a collection, bought a nice gift and had a proper dinner with speeches and lots of guests. Now, sometimes even the retirees don't want to bother with some/all of that! Also, colleagues seem less keen to attend- I organised the last one and was scrabbling around to get a decent number (20 or so) to attend. Maybe it's a cost issue, although it sounds like your one was already paid for?

 

[Arkteia]

My doctor was retiring a few years ago. He had a recurrence of some growth, otherwise he would have never done it. He rented a venue (in a hotel), with some alcohol. The line to shake his hand was snaking down the street. I remembered how the doctor was standing all that time, in order to shake the hand of each of his patients. Not easy after chemo. But he did it. My son also stood in line with me, to say good-bye to my doctor. Some people brought gifts, some simply wrote entries in a book. It was all very moving.

I would assume that if the person has invested - whatever - time, money, energy to stand all this time, that people would be at least courteous. Also, for them, it is one of the many parties, but for the person, it is the only retirement party. So, I'd stay longer...

 

[Missy]

It depends what day of the week and time the party is. Not to be rude but a Tuesday night party when I have to wake up early for work the next day would be challenging and if I even attended a Tuesday night party I would leave early. However if the retirement party was a Saturday night or a Sunday afternoon I would stay for the entire party most likely. If one throws a party in the middle of the week and others have busy schedules and work the next morning one has to expect that people might not stay the entire party or stay late. Just my perspective.

 

[PierreBear]

I think my opinion aligns similar with Missy. If it's in the middle of the week, I would have assume the long time frame from 4 to 8 was to allow for those to just come and go. If you have a family with kids to attend to, perhaps you might come from 4 to 6 to pay respect but head home to prepare dinner and get ready for the evening. If you are a working professional, perhaps you would come in the latter half of the evening directly from work. I only say this with the perspective that we held a party on Easter Sunday and had the time frame from 12 to 4 and people just leisurely came and went based on their schedules.

I hope the retiree still enjoyed the evening though!

 

[telephone89]

Was it hosted? Or were guests responsible for their own dinner? Do people have children that require pick up/dinner/drop off to activities? I think all of these make a difference. Few people are likely to spend a full 4 hours eating and drinking on their own dime, especially with other responsibilities. Even a hosted event, that's a long time to expect someone to stay.
I agree the time was probably more of a drop in style/open house style, rather than a hosted event that everyone arrives at 4 and leaves at 8.

 

[VRBeauty]

By the time I retired a few years ago, most retirement parties, for all but the biggest of bigwigs (or most senior of people) has morphed into lunches or smaller afternoon gatherings, if only because of the sheer number of boomers retiring. I do realize that afternoon gatherings might not be feasible for teachers, and that teaching probably entails an extraordinary emotional/phycological investment compared to most other professions. But evening events were no longer the norm in my workplace.