Reminders of lost loved ones

[ladyciel]

What things/places/moments remind you most, without fail, of your lost loved ones? Are there any that stick out to you as being kind of funny?

For me, I cannot butter a piece of toast without thinking of my grandmother, who we lost in Jan of 08. The memory is so distinct, even though it''s from when I was a little kid. She asked me to butter her toast for her, and when I gave it to her she said "didn''t your mother ever teach you that if you butter the edges, the middle takes care of itself?". It was the closest she ever came to being critical of me. When I told my mom about it later, she said something like, "oh yes, she used to tell me that ALL the time" with a tone that implied it was one of those things her mom used to nag her about. So, however silly, the memory and lesson have stuck with me all these years, and I hear her voice in my head with every single piece of toast I encounter.

 

[cammy85]

Everytime I paint or use makeup brushes, I can always hear my good family friend (who passed away in Feb 09) saying "You take care of your brushes, and they''ll take care of you!" She would always paint ceramics and she helped me paint lots of things, and that was always her mantra, and I can still hear her saying that to this day in my head, anytime I use a makeup brush or anything. Always reminds me to keep them clean

 

[Smurfysmiles]

whenever i see ice or ice skaters or skating rinks i think of my grandparents they met when they competed as a skating pair together! our family camps a lot too so i think of them whenever we go camping

also generally memories of high school, bmx bikes, guitars, certain songs, water balloons and old country trucks and probably some other things, oh tommy cologne, bring memories of my first real bf (we dated for 7 or 8 years altogether) and great friend when we werent dating who died in iraq back in 2005.

 

[vc10um]

I called my mom the other day because I had to tell her I missed her mom (my grandmother).

I was putting away the dishes and opened up the tupperware cabinet to discover that, well, it was a disaster and there was no way any of the clean tupperware was going to fit up there without a thorough emptying and re-stacking. Before my grandmother came to visit us, my mom would always have us clean the house top to bottom, but, so my grandmother felt useful and had something to do, we would leave the tupperware cabinet in its natural shambles for her to reorganize while she was there.

I also think of her when silverware accidentally ends up in the garbage disposal and you only find out because you turn it on...my grandmother inevitably destroyed a teaspoon in the disposal every time she visited.

 

[dragonfly411]

The price is Right.... how crazy is that. My great grandmother (my grandfather''s mother) used to watch it every day, and I always was at her house... I skipped 3/4 of Kindergarten. Also the smell of cedar for her. She used to keep these cedar jewelry boxes and fill them with all kinds of memorable tid bits. I now have one just the same, with buttons, a tiny ivory elephant she gave me, crystals I grew in elementary school, a 2 dollar bill, a ceramic hand painted easter egg, jewelry, a broken antique key, a rattle snake rattle... the list goes on. Her''s had similar types of items... and everything always smelled of cedar. I did have a yellow towel of hers that retained her smell until the day SO mistakenly used it as a rag

for my other great grandmother... coca cola glasses. She always drank diet coke in one of those coca cola glasses. Also star crunches... she kept them tucked away for us kids. And bells.... she loved bells. I also can always distinctly bring up the sound of her water heater in my head. It was really old, sat in the hallway and would "chirp" when we walked or ran past. I loved how old everything was in her house.

I''ll never taste barbecue as good as SO''s dad''s and that''s a fact. I will also never look at large alligators the same, as he once dove into a canal after a fishing pole with a 12 foot alligator sitting on the bank

I have photos of both. And the smell of Copenhagen.. he loved Copenhagen.

 

[asscherisme]

Great thread! When I bake chocolate chip cookies (I do it a few times a year) I always think of my grandpa and smile. He died in ''04 and he LOVED my cookies.

I miss him a lot , he was such an amazing man. He died at age 89 and he had a very full wonderful life and touched so many people. I have a photo of him and grandma (who thankfully is still alive) on my desk and whenever I''m on the computer, its within eye view. In fact, I looked at grandpa''s photo as I wrote this

 

[Linda W]

Great thread. Whenever I make eggs over easy, I always think of my dad. He loved them. He passed away in ''04. I think of him every day.

The Holidays are always hard, when we lose our loved ones. I miss my grandparents too. They always made the Holidays extra special.

 

[Haven]

I think of Helga (my grandmother) whenever I find myself:

- leaving Northwestern after teaching, because I used to go straight from teaching to her place to take her out for lunch. I actually sobbed in my car the first time I got in and realized that I *wasn''t* going to Helga''s after teaching anymore.
- near McDonald''s, Andes Mints, Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies, or a bottle of Vermouth. That pretty much summed up her diet. (She was the tiniest person, too.) We actually went to McDonald''s for lunch with my mom on her birthday, November 1st, in memory of Helga. It was her first birthday since she died in May.
- talking to a much older man. She once berated a man from her building because he appeared to be hitting on me, and she didn''t like it. She came out and gave it to him, all 82 pounds of her. I always expect to see her running out waving her handbag whenever I''m talking with a much older man.

 

[cammy85]

Date: 12/4/2009 10:40:12 AM
Author: dragonfly411
The price is Right.... how crazy is that.

TOTALLY! That and ramen noodles make me think of my grandmother. We''d stop everything we were doing to watch the price is right at 11 am and eat a bowl of ramen (oodles of noodles). Loved it.

 

[ladyciel]

Thank you, everyone, for sharing.

Although I will always feel a stab of sadness when I dwell on the fact that my grandmother is gone, it''s more frequent that I smile with love and comfort when I happen to think of the little things that made her who she was to me. I hoped this thread would help to warm a few hearts on what is (in MI, anyway) an otherwise cold, blustery day.

 

[vc10um]

Date: 12/4/2009 12:39:57 PM
Author: cammy85

Date: 12/4/2009 10:40:12 AM
Author: dragonfly411
The price is Right.... how crazy is that.

TOTALLY! That and ramen noodles make me think of my grandmother. We''d stop everything we were doing to watch the price is right at 11 am and eat a bowl of ramen (oodles of noodles). Loved it.

YAY! Someone else who called it Oodles of Noodles!!!

OH! And watching JEOPARDY! always makes me think of my grandmother. Or playing Trivial Pursuit. Or when someone tells a really bad joke. Like the kind that makes you groan instead of laugh. Those were my grandma''s favorites.

Thanks, ladyciel, for a great thread! You know how much I miss my grandma (I still have the card you guys got me when she passed away...), and this made me think of all the happy things!

 

[Shoopy]

There hasn''t been a day in the past 14 years that I have not thought of my dad in some way or another but the things that usually stand out are:

-Whenever I have a really bad hair day, I think of him. I remember my first day of school here in Florida after we moved. I straightened my hair and it rained so hard. All of my classrooms required that I walk outside which I wasn''t used to because that''s not how it was in NY. I had not looked in the mirror so I had no idea how crazy my hair was but when I got home my father took one look at me and literally fell on the ground laughing. It was so mean lol. But now when my hair is horrible I just think of the look on his face and it cracks me up.

-Twinkies. I never eat them anymore but those were his favorite and if I see a commercial or hear of a reference to twinkies, it reminds me of him.

-Halloween always reminds me of him. He didn''t particularly like Halloween but he would take me trick or treating. One year, I must have been maybe 7, I got the chicken pox and couldn''t go out. My dad got me a costume, bought a big bag of candy and hid behind every door in the house. I would knock on one door and he''d have on a face mask, give me candy, then run to the next door and would wear a different mask or put something on his face. I remember giggling at the sight of him running back and forth (and I ended up with a ton of candy! LOL)

 

[Linda W]

Date: 12/4/2009 4:04:46 PM
Author: fiery
There hasn''t been a day in the past 14 years that I have not thought of my dad in some way or another but the things that usually stand out are:


-Whenever I have a really bad hair day, I think of him. I remember my first day of school here in Florida after we moved. I straightened my hair and it rained so hard. All of my classrooms required that I walk outside which I wasn''t used to because that''s not how it was in NY. I had not looked in the mirror so I had no idea how crazy my hair was but when I got home my father took one look at me and literally fell on the ground laughing. It was so mean lol. But now when my hair is horrible I just think of the look on his face and it cracks me up.


-Twinkies. I never eat them anymore but those were his favorite and if I see a commercial or hear of a reference to twinkies, it reminds me of him.


-Halloween always reminds me of him. He didn''t particularly like Halloween but he would take me trick or treating. One year, I must have been maybe 7, I got the chicken pox and couldn''t go out. My dad got me a costume, bought a big bag of candy and hid behind every door in the house. I would knock on one door and he''d have on a face mask, give me candy, then run to the next door and would wear a different mask or put something on his face. I remember giggling at the sight of him running back and forth (and I ended up with a ton of candy! LOL)

Fiery, This Halloween story about your dad, is the sweetest story, I have ever heard. What a truly wonderful memory.

 

[Skippy123]

what a beautiful thread. thanks!

Well my dear Aunt Sarah, I think of often; one of the most unselfish loveable people ever. When I watch the Golden Girls (one of her favorite shows) I think of her and feel comforted when I watch it because I miss her so much; I miss her happy laugh most of all. I dream of her often but a week doesn't go by that I don't think of her.

My grandma I miss; I think of her when I have a homemade tortilla. I know kind of strange but she was the best bread maker ever! She also had a very joyful laugh that I miss.

I have so many loved ones I miss.

 

[yssie]

Veggie puff pastries. When I was little (and not-so-little) my grandfather would get them for me every single time I went to visit them, sunshine or monsoon rain. He'd come home with a little plastic bag of them, and my grandmother would take one for everyone else away and admonish me to eat the remaining three slowly. I'd finish them in five minutes and he'd go and get his, and give me that, too.

An image of my other grandfather comes to mind so clearly when I step into an air-conditioned place. He would take me shopping every other day without fail when my parents and I went to India, and we'd go bargain-hunting for all sorts of fruit and veggies, then stop in the doorway of the cloth store to cool off for a few minutes, and the guards would give us the dirtiest looks

.

I also love going back and seeing the trees behind the apartment. My parents, cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandfather and grandmother and I spent two full days planting them together, and it was so much fun! That was almost twelve years ago now, and they've grown so much.

I wish they'd been able to meet FI, I know they would both have loved him.




My good friend passed away a year ago. He didn't care for horses himself, but he'd always have Birch and Daisy brushed and braided when I visited. One day I'd like to have two horses with those names, too.

 

[Kelli]

There are SOOOO many things that remind me of my dad (he died suddenly about seven months ago), but holey socks are one of my favorite things. He never wanted any of his kids to spend money on him, so for the holidays he would ask for things like new socks, a hunting magazine, a horn for his bike, a comb for his back pocket, etc. Always random things he actually wanted, but things most people would just go get. Well, one particular time he asked for new socks since his had holes in them, and my nieces who were both under four at the time, were VERY excited to pick Grandpa out some socks. My sister told him how important they thought it was that they go find Grandpa some new socks, and how excited they were to give them to him. Our whole family always has lunch together at my grandma''s house on Sundays, and that Sunday he showed up with no shoes, in socks that he had taken scissors to and cut to shreds. He sat down next to the girls, put his feet up, and proceeded to complain loudly that all of his old socks were falling apart. The older niece got the BIGGEST, brightest smile on her face and said "I can''t tell you ANYTHING! It''s a surprise!" He would always find ways to make them smile and laugh, and that''s the same way he was with us. The good die young.

 

[Kelli]

Btw, great thread idea. My dad''s death has been THE saddest, most painful thing I''ve ever dealt with, but telling these stories (and hearing others'') gives me a reason to smile

 

[sunnyd]

Fiery that story is wonderful. How sweet of your dad.

Cakes always make me think of my Great Aunt Addy. She was the official baked goods lady on my dad''s side. Every birthday, christening, holiday...there was always a cake or cookies from her. They were always delicious too.

 

[that_someone_special]

I lost my grandmother June 09... I can''t look at my ring without thinking of her. I think of her several times a day..

My heart hurts and I wish she would be at my wedding later in 2010... I wasn''t done talking with her... you know??

Everything reminds me of her. I inherited a lot of fun things some crazy jewelry, some silver (that I''m learning to clean.. OMG how terrible it is!) tons of dishes... crystal... It''s all over my house.

Blah I''m going to start crying. I miss her so much.

 

[that_someone_special]

Wow reading everyones stories is really tearing me up.... Loss is so hard this time of year.. but I do like the stories everyone has..

 

[KimberlyH]

A good meal reminds me of my Uncle Mac. He loved to cook and entertain and made every get together at his house an event. I also think of him when I see to-do lists as he made one shortly before he died, the last thing on it was "Find Theresa a husband" because he didn''t want my aunt to be alone.

Flowers, especially crown of thorns and orchids, make me think of my mother-in-law; she was an amazing gardner. I also think of her whenever we eat brocolli, she burned everything she cooked but the funniest thing about her cooking was that she wanted dinner at 6:30 on the dot and would start cooking her brocolli at 4:30 to "be sure it was done."

Big homemade breakfasts make me think of my Pop. He would golf and then come home and make us eggs, apple fritters, pancakes, whatever we wanted. He always let me put peanut butter and syrup on my pancakes.

Ice cream makes me think of my Papa. He came for dinner every Monday night and he always brought Pralines and Pecan ice cream for dessert.

When I was 13 I went camping with my aunt, uncle, cousins and a large group of their friends. My aunt and uncles'' friends brought their grandson, who was abot my age, along. He and I became quite smitten with one another on that trip, but I was too shy to talk to him the day he left so we never exchanged contact information. He lived far away so I never saw him again but my aunt always made a point of telling me how he was doing. He committed suicide when I was 18. One ngiht while sitting on the beach on that camping trip he sang "Help" by The Beatles to me; I can''t hear that song without seeing his face.

 

[PrettyBlues]

My Mom also died suddenly seven months ago (tomorrow actually) and like Kelli it is the hardest thing I have dealt with. Being pregnant right now is certainly bittersweet for me, but I try to take comfort by knowing how happy my Mom would have been and how much she would have loved the little bean.

The things that remind me the most of her: Red Door perfume. She wore this for, I actually don''t even know how many years this was her perfume for, but I can''t remember her wearing anything else. When I come across it in a store, I will often stop and smell it, even though it brings tears to my eyes. Also, Lilac bushes. We used to have one in our back yard and when I was little I would pick them for her and give her a bunch as a gift. And angels. She loved them and had amassed quite a collection. I have one of them which now resides with me, but any angel makes me think of her. I was going to get one for a Christmas ornament, but have not seen anything I like.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

The taste of maple frosting makes me think of my paternal grandmother. It was her special recipie and she would let me lick the bowl and spoon when she made it - to this day I lick the bowl and spoon after I make the frosting. I also think of her whenever I see butterflies as I remember one summer when I was a little girl she had set out a small dish of molasses to attract the butterflies. It worked almost immediately but I startled the butterfly, it flew off the dish and onto my hand - but it got stuck for a second because it had molasses on it - I FREAKED out thinking it was going to hurt me. My grandmother never ever let me for get it!

My maternal grandfather - the taste of orange sherbert When he was in his final stages of cancer it was all he could tollerate eating. I used to sit in his hospital bed eating orange sherbert with him. My grandmother (his wife) has been so ravaged by alzheimer''s that she can not recongnize her grandchildren or her children the majority of the time. One particular Saturday I brought her to the snack bar at her nursing facility and I got an orange sherbert. She asked for a bite and as soon as she tasted it she said "you remember Donald, right, B?" - the fact that she remembered both my grandfather and myself floored me.

 

[justginger]

This is such a great thread - so nice to remember everyone who has passed this time of year.

The thing that reminds me of my grandmother is Yahtzee and Bingo. She was fanatical about them and we''d play together for hours when I was a child (so much so that I actually called her "Grandma Dice"!). She had terrible arthritis in her hands and they were nearly folded up on themselves, so it made it difficult for her to play - but she always made an effort for me.

And every once in a while I get a whiff of the smell that reminds me of my grandpa. He was a farmer, and though he retired at some point, he never really stopped, IYKWIM. HUGE veggie garden every year, a tractor for a lawnmower, etc. Anyway, from time to time I''ll catch the smell of his barn - dry straw, machine oil, old tools. It brings such a vivid picture of him standing in the middle of the barn, with the sunlight pouring in between the slats of the walls, dust motes dancing in the air as he fiddles around with some bit of machinery.

Pretty Blues - I''m sorry you miss your mom. She sounds much like mine, which makes my heart hurt.

 

[packrat]

Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon remind me of my Grampa Doc and Grampa Carl. I love the Grumpy Old Men movies, and I think that''s part of it, seeing these two men who have such a striking resemblance to my grampas. There was a man who worked out at the packing house w/my grampa Doc for years, and when he found out later, after Grampa died, that I was his granddaughter, he used to come out (I worked in the laundry there) and tell me stories about grampa. Same ones over and over, but I loved hearing them. Funny thing was, that guy kinda looked like Grampa too..grumpy and curmudgeonly like Walter Matthau.

We have a patient at the office that I absolutely adore who looks a little like Grampa Doc but acts like Grampa Carl, and I always schedule him for Wednesdays b/c that''s the day I work.

Grampa Doc was forever on a popcorn diet. Swore by it. He''d pop enough popcorn to fill a big brown paper sack and cart that dumb thing around all day. You could see the grease and spots from the butter on the bottom part of the sack and he''d look at you like you were crazy if you suggested that quite possibly the butter and salt heaped upon the popcorn would render the so called diet, useless.

Big green John Deere tractors remind me of Grampa Carl. Grampa used to let my brother and I ride w/him out in the fields when we were little. They lived down the road from us and we could hear the tractor coming and "please please can we?" to mom until she let us go. One tractor had a cab on it, the other had a loader, and he used to give us rides in the loader. That was SO FUN! The sound of tractors, and the oil/diesel smell remind me of him.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I have my mom's eng. stone and that reminds me of my dad and mom. My dad died many years back (he died on my 16th birthday - so you can only imagine what that has been like for all these years!) at a young age. My mom is officially missing and presumed dead.

Rarely do I see tinker toys, but my dad loved to play with those with me. He also used a soldering iron for little projects and so when my DH whipped his out to fix a cord I accidently sucked up with the vaccuum, my dad came to mind. For my mom, I'll always recall that she smelled of perfume and cigarettes. She began smoking after my dad died. Not sure why. She also had a ton of parrots and other exotic birds, so any pictures of them feathered creatures me of her. Her birds drove me crazy though because they were so noisy. Also, one of the birds attacked my DH's foot. lol

My grandfather died just a few days back. For some reason every year at Christmas, my mom would have me give him beer nuts and my grandmother a jar of marmalade. I have NO idea if either of them actually liked those food products, but the beer nuts remind me of my grandfather (my grandmother is still alive but still the marmalade sticks out in my head!).

ETA - Also thought of another. My dad loved the show M*A*S*H, so I always think of him when rarely that show is on.

 

[loriken214]

Mixed vegetables remind me of my late mom. She passed away suddenly on October 4, 2007. Mom always served mixed vegetables when company came over and my cousin and I were laughing about it the other day. We always seemed to be eating mixed vegetables every other meal or so. I haven''t eaten them in years, but I can still see them on the table with my family gathered around. I miss my mom so much!

Those giant candy canes remind me of my late Pawpaw. He loved getting one every Christmas and would take his hammer to it and we would eat the small pieces. Pawpaw had rheumatoid arthritis, the crippling kind, but he would let his grandkids sit on his lap until the day he passed away. I used to watch the soap opera As The World Turns with Pawpaw, too. He was the sweetest man I knew and I miss him terribly. We lost him in 1983, but it feels like yesterday.

Lori