relocating for partner's career

[mary poppins]

I've seen a couple of PS threads about moving for a spouse, fiance/fiancee or boyfriend/girlfriend's career. In addition, my boss has been in a bi-coastal marriage for the past year - she likes her job on the east coast and her husband has a good job in California. This week, she will move to California to live with her husband again, work remotely from there, and travel back to the east coast to work one week a month at the company's home office.

Here's an article on the topic: http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/pros-38-cons-relocating-relationship-012600419.html

Have you relocated or refused to relocate for a partner's career or has your partner done so for you?

 

[AprilBaby]

I moved numerous times because he makes the majority of the money. A move is not easy for me because it involves new licensing for my career. Now he is facing retirement and he wants to move to a warmer climate. This time I'm not giving in. I will work longer and I'm not moving away from my kids. If he wants to go he can send me checks.

 

[zoebartlett]

We relocated once (but then moved back the following year). Four years ago, four months after our wedding, my husband lost his job and was out of work for 6 months. He couldn't find anything in our area, so we extended his search. We decided to focus on one particular state to look at since neither one of us had been there but we had heard great things about it. We'd never done anything like that before, and we thought we could do anything for a year. We'd give it a shot and see how things went.

My husband got an interview with the first place he applied to, and he jumped on it when he was offered the position. He moved down about 1 month later and then he came back and got me when I could leave. I was granted a one year leave of absence from my job. (I liked the security of knowing that I had a job to return to if we ended moving back home.) After moving, I found a job a few weeks later. I wasn't happy in that position so I left and found another one a few weeks afterwards. It was a scary time but we survived. I was much happier in my second job. We considered staying in our new state but in the end, just shy of our one year anniversary down there (and of marriage), we came back home. We missed family and friends.

Relocating is something I never really thought I'd do and it was a HUGE step for me. My husband had been more excited about the possibilities because he had never experienced living anywhere but our home state. There were a lot of ups and down that year. There are things I miss about the state we moved to and left, but moving far from home wasn't really for us. At the time though, we didn't really have a choice.

 

[chrono]

He relocated for me once when the job offer was too good to pass up, we had no children yet and the market was good for employment for him where I was going. I would do the same for him IF the offer for him is great and I am able to find employment at the new location. We have not done so again for each other because none of the conditions were met.

 

[sonnyjane]

My husband is in the military so I have already moved three times in the last 6 years to live with him. Prior, I was working jobs that I could take or leave, so I didn't mind. I currently love love love what I do and I wouldn't have luck finding something similar elsewhere so we have discussed the possibility of a long distance marriage if he is transferred again. We already only see each other a few days a month so logistically it wouldn't change that much. Is it fun to be long-distance? Not at all, but we've done it before and could do it again I necessary.

 

[yssie]

We moved for DH's best opportunity last year - there's a thread about it somewhere.

I wasn't thrilled about moving... we'd agreed that we wouldn't move here unless I found a good job beforehand, and I was fortunate to get a couple of offers. The one I chose turned out not to be a good fit in some ways and I became terribly resentful about the whole thing. I've since moved to another company and now I can honestly say that LOVE my job, and the people I work with are fantastic, and that happiness spills over into everything else

 

[tammy77]

I moved for my DH's career. We didnt have any family where we lived, and I was ready for the change though. I was able to find a job before we finalized the move (wow, stressful!!) so really it wasn't so bad. I do have a lot more of a commute now and at times I struggle with losing my close friends, but our family is much happier overall here. So I can't complain, and I'd do it again if I had to make the choice.

 

[iheartscience]

I moved for my husband's job almost 2 years ago, but I was ready for a change and was actually very excited. It was hard, especially when I didn't have a job yet, but once I made a few friends and got a job it got a lot better. I was concerned because I loved my job in our old city, but I got a similar job after 4 months in our new city that I love even more.

He had gotten offers for promotions in other areas that I didn't want to live in previously, and turned those down.