Wedding Questioning some of our wedding gifts

[winston26]

Interesting topic. I agree it''s human nature to read into it. Think of it the opposite way....someone gave you an exorbitant amount. Do you regard it the same as the other gifts or do you really think "They are SOOO nice; they must really really like us!!!" To be fair, all gifts should be thought of as equal....but they never are.

There are always a few gifts that might make you go "hmm". We had one person attend (it was local) and just give a card. DH said it was "thoughtful" because he''s broke. Yet I question a couple that gave us $20. Rude to question either of them? Yes! But inside I''m thinking, hmmm....what''s that about!?! Then your mind starts to wander....do they not have much money, no, he has a much higher paying job than I do (works at same company)--so do they not like me that much and didn''t really want to come? I have no idea of their financial status but I''d be lying if I said I opened it and didn''t give it another thought. I think we all put thought into our gifts so it''s difficult not to think someone "meant something by it" sometimes.

I saw comments that people wouldn''t expect gifts from those that didn''t attend. What are your thoughts on those that said they would attend but didn''t show up?

 

[Neveah]

I''ll trade you our PLASTIC BIRD FEEDER (not joking... and NO of course it was not on our registry!) for your three $20 bills????

Ditto what Haven said so eloquently. And CONGRATS!!!

 

[Fancy605]

I dunno what the norm is in your area, but around here, $50 seems pretty generous. But, things are different in different regions of the country.

Hey though, look at the bright side. At least it's not a bag of Reeses and Tuna https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-feelings-are-hurt.86553/

 

[NoID]

winston - good point about someone giving you an exhorbitant amount - it does make you pause, just like a very small or weird gift would. I''d say that gifts can also feel too generous/over the top...like the person is trying to prove something. There is a range/middle that feels right based on what you know about the person, the history, their situation, etc. Definitely would never question the actual guest - but do most of us go hmmm at some gifts? Yes, I think so, although few would admit it.

I think if someone just didn''t attend without letting you know first I''d be pretty annoyed with them anyway (unless it was an emergency), so I wouldn''t be expecting a gift.

 

[NoID]

neveah would you like a statute of a naked couple with some angels around it? I''d probably prefer the plastic bird feeder - at least I could keep it outside of the house.

Fancy, I ran into that topic while I was searching for mine...poor girl...how hurtful.

 

[risingsun]

When my DH and I received our wedding gifts, we had a reaction to them, too! All of the you should not expect, be grateful, etc. taken duly noted, we still have feelings about such things--or some of us do

My husband and I were surprised at the generosity of some of our guests, including the couple who flew in from London to attend our wedding. We did have many lovely gifts and generous checks. OTOH, we were shaking our heads over a few items from people we thought surely knew us better. I don't think such gifts are meant as a message--except for the tuna and reeses peanut butter cups thread. It would be as if someone gave us a day of golf when neither of us play. Anyone want a barely used putter