Psst.. Want to know a secret? We're eloping :)

[LetLoveRule]

Since I can't tell anyone, thought I'd share it with you

Neither of us wanted a big wedding. Especially since we, our friends and family live all over the country/world, we've decided to elope in 3 months and tell everyone on our "engagement party" a few weeks after.

My fiancé has told his father about our plans (location and date) just before he passed away (I believe that my father-in-law held on until he knew that his last child was settled in life) but other than that, no one knows.

We have told our friends & family that we don't want to get married in Australia and that we're keeping it small so they're making location suggestions and inviting themselves. Little do they know that we have already decided on the date and country

We haven't decided if it'll be just the two of us or if we're inviting 2 or 4 people. Nonetheless, we can't wait!

 

[missy]

Oh so exciting and wonderful! Wishing you much happiness and love!

We eloped too a few months before our big wedding. Lol. My parents were not pleased. Your elopement sounds much more organized and smart!

 

[bludiva]

It'll be lovely, congrats! We eloped too and I have zero regrets )

 

[MeowMeow]

Exciting!! Congratulations!!

 

[mrs-b]

Smart girl! I had the big wedding and to this day have wished I'd eloped.

Congrats - and best wishes for a great wedding and a wonderful marriage!

 

[LetLoveRule]

Oh so exciting and wonderful! Wishing you much happiness and love!

We eloped too a few months before our big wedding. Lol. My parents were not pleased. Your elopement sounds much more organized and smart!

Thank you

Did you elope and then still have a wedding? How come your parents weren't happy?

We rather spend money on travelling and other stuff, this way we have our trip when we elope and 2 parties (family lives interstate) when we come back. One with family will be low key as it'll be very hot there and kids will be there. Other one with friends will be fancy with nice dinner etc.
We have a lot of planning to do but my father-in-law just passed away, so I want to give my fiancé time to process that first.

 

[Tekate]

So cool! weddings have become soooo emotionally and financially draining.. I have great respect for a couple who puts themselves b4 anything. .everyone will be so surprised and thrilled.

So sorry about your fiance's Dad.. condolences, but knowing he knew must make you both very happy.

best of luck and congratulations and come back and show pix!

 

[LetLoveRule]

It'll be lovely, congrats! We eloped too and I have zero regrets )

Thanks Please tell me about your elopement?

 

[LetLoveRule]

Smart girl! I had the big wedding and to this day have wished I'd eloped.

Congrats - and best wishes for a great wedding and a wonderful marriage!

Thank you

A friend at work is getting married too and they were debating between a wedding or eloping in South America. They went with a wedding in 6 months and will invite over 100 people so lots of planning in a short time. She said the other day that the moment when you've both said "I do" and you turn around to celebrate with others, it'll be so weird if it's just the two of you and no one is there. That made me think that maybe we should invite 2 or 4 people.

Why do you wish you'd eloped?

 

[OreoRosies86]

I eloped too. My parents and grandparents were really sad, they felt excluded. A big wedding just wasn't my style.

 

[LetLoveRule]

So cool! weddings have become soooo emotionally and financially draining.. I have great respect for a couple who puts themselves b4 anything. .everyone will be so surprised and thrilled.

So sorry about your fiance's Dad.. condolences, but knowing he knew must make you both very happy.

best of luck and congratulations and come back and show pix!

Thanks so much. We're very happy that he knows, it makes it more special too.

I agree, I just got back from the service interstate and have to wait another week for the service here. While it's good to see everyone and obviously a wedding will be the opposite of a funeral, it'll still be draining. I don't want any (family) drama and this way we feel like we get the best of both. And yes, it can be sooo expensive, it's crazy how much some couples spend I mean it's fine if that's what they want, we just choose not to.

Not sure if they'll be surprised (there's a rumour going around the family that we're already married but we have confirmed that's not the case, so the guessing game continues..) but it'll be our secret until then anyway

 

[mrs-b]

Thank you

A friend at work is getting married too and they were debating between a wedding or eloping in South America. They went with a wedding in 6 months and will invite over 100 people so lots of planning in a short time. She said the other day that the moment when you've both said "I do" and you turn around to celebrate with others, it'll be so weird if it's just the two of you and no one is there. That made me think that maybe we should invite 2 or 4 people.

Why do you wish you'd eloped?

Because the only REAL way to celebrate a marriage is with your partner. Anything else is just a distraction from the only other person who really matters. And as it happens, your new spouse is the only person who has just had exactly the same experience as you.

Also, I love parties - but combined with a wedding, I think it's hugely stressful. I've been married 34 years, and about once a week I think about what I would do differently if I could do it again. We had a vow renewal at 25 years with roughly 30 people, and we loved that, but my ideal wedding was always me, the groom, 6-8 guests, then out to lunch or dinner at an upscale restaurant. No cooking, no cleaning, no menu choosing. No bridal party, but our 2 best friends as witnesses. A dress off the rack, a bouquet made by my local florist, and the ceremony somewhere outside under a big tree. Save myself a whole bunch of money, time, and angst.

But I also would have been FINE with just the two of us. I was besotted when I got married. Mostly I just wanted to say 'I do', then go somewhere - anywhere - and stare into my new husband's eyes...for the rest of my life.

 

[bludiva]

Thanks Please tell me about your elopement?

Sure thing, tell me what you want to know

We had a vacation planned and decided to elope during that trip a less than a month before. It was pretty spontaneous and just the two of us. <3

The legal paperwork still had to be done in our home country after so we invited our immediate families to the courthouse and a nice dinner for that. We also had a casual get-together at our home with close friends. Everybody was happy with minimal fuss.

Ok, grumpy lady rant time: I personally dislike the custom of what to me seems like an excessive & prolonged celebration leading up to the wedding these days: engagement announcement/party, multiple showers/bachelorettes, gift registry, etc....a whole year of saying "pay attention to me!" and "give me stuff!" and "celebrate me!" I was not about to ask that of others and eloping solved that problem too.

I understand what your friend is saying about celebrating the moment with others, but there was something special about having the moment to ourselves. At the end of the day, it's your wedding and you should celebrate it the way you want to.

 

[soxfan]

We eloped. 8 amazing days in Kauai- just the two of us.

 

[mrs-b]

We eloped. 8 amazing days in Kauai- just the two of us.

Perfect.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

My Dad encouraged us to elope (mine would have been a third wedding in as many years...) but my fiancée wanted a big wedding. Truth be told, I wanted to elope.

cheers--Sharon

 

[MarionC]

I agree.
The big weddings are for family. My DD is getting married with just fwo witnesses next March. Then a huge church wedding in August. Reading here, I am glad they will have five months of privacy before « the show ».

 

[diamondringlover]

this is from a mom's perspective....the thought of not seeing my son get married would devastate me, I love my children more than anything in the world and their wedding should be one of the happiest times in their lives and as a mom I would very much want to be there. We as parents have gave birth to the child and spent a large part of our life raising the child and we would only want makes them happy.
But of course everyone has different opinion's this is mine...my son got married last year he had a small wedding in his backyard, very laid back and fairly inexpensive

 

[mary poppins]

Very exciting!! I hope your wedding is everything you want it to be!

 

[Matata]

Ours was our 2nd marriage. His family lives for big events, and weddings in his family cost, at a minimum at least several hundred thousand. They are all high society, high profile people with business clients who are rich and famous. The family believes their clients should be invited to all family weddings. The majority of those clients do not know the bride and groom. It's a status thing and hubs and I aren't into it at all. We love them all but didn't want to expend the time and energy to carry on the family tradition and host hundreds of people we didn't know, so we eloped to Italy, had a fabulous wedding and the family settled on hosting a reception for us on our return. There were some hurt feelings and a little bit of drama but we didn't care.

We hired a wedding planning company in Italy who took care of all the stuff we needed, including help with the paperwork, and all hubs and I had to do was enjoy the day.

Good on you for doing it your way. I hope you have a wonderful wedding.

 

[16ocean]

So glad you have a place to share your happy news. It gave your father in law peace to know his son would be married. After the roller coaster of emotions it will be amazing to focus on the two of you and your love.

 

[LetLoveRule]

I eloped too. My parents and grandparents were really sad, they felt excluded. A big wedding just wasn't my style.

Did you do a party or celebrate in some way with others?

 

[LetLoveRule]

Because the only REAL way to celebrate a marriage is with your partner. Anything else is just a distraction from the only other person who really matters. And as it happens, your new spouse is the only person who has just had exactly the same experience as you.

Also, I love parties - but combined with a wedding, I think it's hugely stressful. I've been married 34 years, and about once a week I think about what I would do differently if I could do it again. We had a vow renewal at 25 years with roughly 30 people, and we loved that, but my ideal wedding was always me, the groom, 6-8 guests, then out to lunch or dinner at an upscale restaurant. No cooking, no cleaning, no menu choosing. No bridal party, but our 2 best friends as witnesses. A dress off the rack, a bouquet made by my local florist, and the ceremony somewhere outside under a big tree. Save myself a whole bunch of money, time, and angst.

But I also would have been FINE with just the two of us. I was besotted when I got married. Mostly I just wanted to say 'I do', then go somewhere - anywhere - and stare into my new husband's eyes...for the rest of my life.

Aww that's so cute

After we got engaged 4 months ago, we straight away decided to elope. We did a long trip overseas last year and visited a few National Parks in Canada and US, so we thought about getting married there. As we'd decided on the date (our anniversary) already and this is in January, we realised it's too cold there so we started thinking about tropical islands nearby.

We did get tempted shortly to do a wedding with 30 people, pretty much like you described but then we thought about all the stress and decided against it.

I went to a bridal expo a little while ago and honestly, it was everything I DON'T want
Funnily enough, I think of myself as super girly but when it comes to our wedding, I want the opposite of what most girls (seem to) want

 

[Bron357]

Having had 2 weddings, they are totally overrated in my opinion.
It’s really stressful planning one, it costs an absolute arm and a leg, everyone has an opinion and you can’t satify everyone. On the day iit’s like an out of body experience, so much going on, I ended up barely eating and barely drinking (my other fear was how the hell was I going to go to the loo without 6 people to assist) and even at the second wedding I still ended up with a migraine and spending most the night in our very fancy hotel room alongside the toilet - the bed would have been more more comfortable.
We spent like $6,000 on photos and videos which I looked at once! I spent another $500 on my $5,000 wedding dress to have it “preserved” (for what I’m not sure).
Elope.
Have a great, but normal celebration party upon your return.

 

[LetLoveRule]

Sure thing, tell me what you want to know

We had a vacation planned and decided to elope during that trip a less than a month before. It was pretty spontaneous and just the two of us. <3

The legal paperwork still had to be done in our home country after so we invited our immediate families to the courthouse and a nice dinner for that. We also had a casual get-together at our home with close friends. Everybody was happy with minimal fuss.

Ok, grumpy lady rant time: I personally dislike the custom of what to me seems like an excessive & prolonged celebration leading up to the wedding these days: engagement announcement/party, multiple showers/bachelorettes, gift registry, etc....a whole year of saying "pay attention to me!" and "give me stuff!" and "celebrate me!" I was not about to ask that of others and eloping solved that problem too.

I understand what your friend is saying about celebrating the moment with others, but there was something special about having the moment to ourselves. At the end of the day, it's your wedding and you should celebrate it the way you want to.

That photo is amazing

No one was upset that you eloped?

I've noticed people getting married multiple times, is that because it's not legal until you get married in your home country? We can only do it once, the next time it's a renewal of vows technically as you're already married. The rules seem to be different in Australia though, you can only register your marriage in the state you marry. Anywhere else only gets recognised. It doesn't matter where you get married, as long as it's legal there, you're married.
For my home country it's different, I can have our marriage registered if I send the original paperwork, regardless of where we get married. It doesn't necessarily make a difference whether you do or don't as it's legal either way, but it's a nice thought to have it registered.
This also means I can apply for a passport with my husband's name. How does that work for you? Apparently my own last name will always be my name, but his name can be added to my passport.

I agree with your "rant", the whole prolonged celebration is really not necessary. We don't expect any gifts as we are going to have "engagement parties". We have told everyone that we won't have a wedding, so we won't disappoint too much.

The only thing is that I'll have to go to work after our trip for one week and can't wear my wedding band as I'm inviting 2 friends from work to our party a week later. I don't want others to be upset and keep it a surprise until we reveal it at the party, so I'm going to have to pretend

 

[LetLoveRule]

We eloped. 8 amazing days in Kauai- just the two of us.

Sounds amazing

Did you prepare anything, like a dress, flowers, photographer, etc? How did everyone respond when you got back?

 

[LetLoveRule]

HI:

My Dad encouraged us to elope (mine would have been a third wedding in as many years...) but my fiancée wanted a big wedding. Truth be told, I wanted to elope.

cheers--Sharon

My father-in-law said the same thing to my partner we're so happy he gave us his blessing.

Did you have a nice wedding and honeymoon at least?

 

[LetLoveRule]

I agree.
The big weddings are for family. My DD is getting married with just fwo witnesses next March. Then a huge church wedding in August. Reading here, I am glad they will have five months of privacy before « the show ».

So that's the legal marriage in March and then civil in August? I don't really understand what the difference is, saying "I do" in front of a celebrant and signing the certificate is all you need to as far as I know.

 

[canuk-gal]

My father-in-law said the same thing to my partner we're so happy he gave us his blessing.

Did you have a nice wedding and honeymoon at least?

It was all super. Loved our venue, dress, and our month long honeymoon in London/Greece was excellent.

You'll have a great time whatever you do.

cheers-Sharon

 

[LetLoveRule]

this is from a mom's perspective....the thought of not seeing my son get married would devastate me, I love my children more than anything in the world and their wedding should be one of the happiest times in their lives and as a mom I would very much want to be there. We as parents have gave birth to the child and spent a large part of our life raising the child and we would only want makes them happy.
But of course everyone has different opinion's this is mine...my son got married last year he had a small wedding in his backyard, very laid back and fairly inexpensive

I agree with you, I can understand that from your prospective as a mom eloping is devastating. However, my family is not in my life and haven't been for a long time. I mean, I moved to the other side of the world for a reason the family that I do have in my life won't feel negatively about us eloping.

His parents have now both passed away. His siblings might not be too happy, but we don't want to base our decision on that and hope the party will be a nice way to celebrate. We suspect they know anyway. We don't really care about the rest of the family's opinion, they'll get over it our friends might be disappointed but we've straight away told them we're not getting married in Australia. As we love to travel and me not being from Australia, they understand and look forward to "the engagement party".

There are 2 couples (best friend and sibling with spouses) that we might want to invite. Partly because they'll be hurt if we don't but also because it would be nice to have them there.