Wedding Pros and Cons of going destination?

[Keepingthefaith21]

Hi everyone - We have been working on planning an October 31, 2009 wedding but I am really starting to feel like this entire event could get out of control very quickly. This will be our first marriage for each of us. We''ve opened ourselves up to the idea of a very small, intimate destination wedding with our parents being the only guests. We''re thinking of spending two days with our families, getting married on the third day and then spending another 3 days on the island on a mini-moon. We were also thinking it might be nice to have our parents each renew their vows as our gift to them.

When we return home we are thinking of holding an informal brunch followed later in the day by a BBQ with our very close friends as our "reception".

Have any of you taken this route? Do you have any regrets about not having the big wedding?

 

[noelwr]

I haven''t, but that sounds like a lovely idea. we''re having a destination wedding (South Africa) so that his family can be there. this means that many of our friends won''t be able to make it but if we have to choose one, we''d rather have family than friends. our friends that really intend to be there will find a way.

I think it''s lovely to also have your parents renew their vows.

as you are having an intimate wedding and then the reception when you get home (so still being able to celebrate with extended family and friends), why do you think it will get out of control?

since we got engaged in Feb, I have changed my mind multiple times. at one point, we were going to get married on a tropical island but then his sisters and families wouldn''t be able to be there as they can''t afford it. then, we were also going to get married and have a reception in our home town. we have scrapped this idea due to the costs. we will just sign the papers here. flying to South Africa and having our honeymoon in Mauritius will be expensive enough.

 

[KimberlyH]

My sister and BIL went this route. They were married in a hotel room in Tahoe with my parents, his mom, his aunt and I present (I was a last minute invite and served as photographer). They had a BBQ later that month to celebrate with family and friends. I don''t think either one of them would change a thing about their wedding and reception. It was fitting of them, and everyone still got to participate.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I think it''s a lovely idea.

Our original plan was to invite our parents to Hawaii, have a simple ceremony at the house we rented and go to dinner afterward. Then have a small dinner for each of our families (mine in KC, his in Boston) when we got back. D''s an only child, so this was ideal for him, but I have 3 sisters and knew that I would feel bad if we didn''t invite them and their husbands/children since I was inviting my parents. So we decided to invite them, too, which brought the guest list up to 15.

Then we decided that inviting our aunts/uncles/cousins would only add another 15 to 20 to the list, so we started to wonder if we should invite all of them, but Hawaii is very far to travel, especially from the East Coast. And renting two homes instead of one was costly...

You see where this is going--we decided to just have a 35-person wedding here on the East Coast. If we had eloped (just the 2 of us), then it would have been different, but for us inviting our parents opened up a can of worms. We still kept the wedding teeny, but in the end D wanted our families to be a part of the ceremony.

I really love the idea of just having you and your parents there and having a small reception afterward. It really just comes down to who you want at the ceremony--I always tend to vote for whatever is most simple for you! If planning something here is going to get out of hand quickly, then having a tiny destination wedding will save your sanity and your bank account.

 

[luckystar112]

KTF, your plan is exactly what we did....almost, and no, I don't regret it one bit!
Not sure if you're thinking about a resort or something different, but our family stayed at one resort, we stayed at another. They came to our resort for the wedding, and the next day all the men went to play golf.
It was so nice to have our "honeymoon" after the wedding was done.
I especially loved how stress-free everything was. Now that I did it this way I can't imagine planning a big wedding with linens and stationery and all that. I definitely give those girls a pat on the back! It was so great to have everything provided for us, and everything taken care of before we even asked.
Now that we're back, we are having a "welcome home bbq" this Saturday where all of our friends and co-workers will come celebrate with us. And in August FI's parents (who live out of state) are throwing us another mini party.
So I don't feel like I missed out on a single thing. It was stress free, fast and inexpensive! hehe