Wedding Pregnant Bridesmaid Ultimatum

[kschoedel]

Here is my problem....
I am in a wedding in September. At the time of the wedding I will be 7 1/2 months pregnant. The dress she chose will not work with a changing body shape or a pregnant belly. (Its on targets website, its a taffeta couture dress in autumn gold

http://www.target.com/Isaac-Mizrahi-Target-Taffeta-Couture/dp/B000ZBKFZY/qid=1214161380/ref=br_1_14/601-9865257-4452126?ie=UTF8&node=350118011&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1

- the problem is it fitted at the waist and flares from there). Originally she told me to look for something else to wear that would be close to the dress. So I bought a $20 maternity dress in yellow. The problem is that I can''t find a dress closer to her color in anything! Also, the other girls have shoes to match the dress. If I purchase another dress, the shoes won''t match.
Now (less than 3 months before the wedding) the bride would like me to by the original dress and have her MIL alter it to be an empire waist. The problem with altering the dress is that it does not "give" what if I wake up the day of the wedding and I have outgrown it!
Basically I was told to wear the dress or not be in the wedding. My husband is also in the wedding and I do not want to just quit on the situation. The bride does not handle stress well and I feel that I am only complicating the situation for her! HELP!!!

 

[cara]

If one were to pay a seamstress to alter the dress, you might easily incur charges 2-5x the cost of the dress. If the MIL is to do the alterations for free, it doesn't seem you have much to lose beyond the investment of buying the Target dress. $50 is not that much, and you really haven't sunk too much money into your alternate option ($20.)

First, determine if you think this has any reasonable chance of a successful outcome. Ask the bride if, after buying and altering the Target dress, it doesn't work out, would your current dress be a viable backup option? Is the bride aware that the alterations might not work or is she in some deluded la-la state thinking you will have a cute little bump? Next, does the MIL have enough sewing experience, and does the MIL herself (not the bride) think it is possible to alter the dress to accommodate a 7.5mo pregnant belly? If the MIL thinks she can give it a shot, and the bride seems reasonable, then just buy the dress and let them try. The worst that happens is you are out the $50, which you would be anyway as a maternity bridesmaid dress seems to define not-rewearable.

If you think this has a very low chance of working, then just blame your belly and bow out. You will still be there to support the bride, your husband will still be in the wedding, but if the bride is really unreasonable and stressed out over making a pregnant woman fit into the same dress as the rest of her bridesmaids, this is just a stress you should spare her. Even if she doesn't thank you for it!

As for shoes, well, I'd just wear what the others are wearing if you think you can walk in them and you think your feet will be the same size now as then. If not, some kind of neutral dressy shoe will be fine, even if it doesn't match. Just reassure the bride that noone will be looking past your midsection to your feet, and not many people will be looking at you in general, as the bride really is the center of attention! These are small, small details she is worrying about.

 

[Hera]

How about finding a similar fabric and having it tailor made? My very pregnant matron of honor did this and it worked out really well.

 

[E B]

The previous posters have given you great suggestions. Also, if you''re open to buying a new dress, this one looks *close* to the color of the bridesmaid dress, though I''m just comparing on a computer screen:

Destination Maternity Yellow Knit Dress

 

[Independent Gal]

I don''t have any ideas for you, just sympathy. That bride is a little wonky.

 

[VRBeauty]

Wow. I'm not a seamstress, but that dress doesn't look like it could be easily altered for a 7.5 month pregnancy. You'd probably have to size down from a larger size, and/or buy two dresses so you'd have extra fabric to lengthen the skirt after the bodice is shortened to create the empire style. A lot of work, either way.

I'd go custom or bow out... and frankly, I'd be leaning towards the latter.

ETA: I have to admit to being a bit of a fabric snob

, so there's probably no way I'd consider going to the expense of having a dress custom-made in polyester.... but that's just me.

 

[little miss sunshine]

What a bummer! I feel for you, and while everyone gave great advice, I would probably gracefully bow out. It''s obviously very important to the bride that everyone "matches" and you can still be a supportive friend without feeling uncomfortable/stressing her out. Other replies brought up a good point about footwear too. You can still wear the matching dress you found, to sort of symbolize your bridesmaid role, but can be more comfortable./

I feel personally she is being a little inflexible, but what can you do?! Congratulations to you btw!!! How exciting!!