Home Postpartum Blues...

[Shoopy]

Did any of you ladies experience pp blues?

I think I may be going through this now. For the past two/three days, I spend hours just crying. I can''t pinpoint my sadness at all. I just know that I''m feeling really sad and like everything I''m doing is wrong. This morning my mom left and last night I just broke down crying because I don''t feel like I can do this without her here. When DD is sleeping, I feel like she''s sleeping too much and may be sick. When she''s awake, I feel like she isn''t sleeping enough. She is slighly jaundice because of our blood (I''m O+ and she''s A+) and even though she''s not on the biliblanket anymore everytime I look at her I feel like she''s never going to get better. I''m also having a hard time bf''ing and I feel like she''s not eating enough even though she''s already back at her birth weight and is peeing/pooping well.

I''m trying to shake it off but its hard.

 

[VRBeauty]

Fiery --

(((((((((( HUGS! )))))))))))

Although I don't have any firsthand experience with postpartum blues, I have had to deal with garden variety blues. Just remember, this is not a choice you're making. It is not your fault. It does not have anything to do with your ability to be a good mother. And you can't will those blues away.

Please consider talking to your OB if this continues at all. I'm sure they've seen it many times before, and they're well equipped to help you.


ETA congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby girl!

 

[D&T]

awww I''m so sorry

and Hugs to you! with my first DD I was experience somewhat how you felt. I don''t have family nearby, they live in another state, and no friends since we had just moved to a different state. I would cry about things, and I was also in my pjs for most of the day for a good two weeks, and bfding was difficult for me, not to mention recovering from a c section. How long has it been since your delivery?

 

[Lilac]

Ditto VRBeauty.

I can''t speak from experience because I have never had a baby (or been pregnant) yet, but the way you are feeling isn''t your fault. I think it''s normal at the beginning to feel like you need some help (like you felt you did from your mom) and to have doubts about what you are doing. It''s all new! You''re doing the best you can and I''m sure you are doing a wonderful job and you''re a great mom to your beautiful baby girl!

If these feelings continue, I think you should definitely consider talking to your doctor about it. I''m sure he/she has seen this before and can help you.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Fiery, I just went and reminded myself how old Sophia is, and she is only two weeks old! Goodness me, those first weeks are so hard. I remember feeling so overwhelmed, and sleep deprived, I cried a lot! And I am not a cryer at all!! (says DH

) Everything is new, and unknown, and although it *seems* so simple to change diapers and feed a little baby, it is just a constant demand of your time and energy. And did I mention the sleep deprivation? Those first weeks are the hardest. For me, my milk took a week to come in, and then I was sitting up for hours on end at night nursings and feeling lonely and so scared about the new responsibility. My mom was also with us for 10 days, and my DH was home for 6 weeks, and it was still so hard! I cried in the shower, or just sitting up alone at night. When my mom left I was really scared about doing it alone, and again when DH went back to work. But I survived! And you will too, I just know it.

Each day will get a little better. I just kept reminding myself of that when I was going through a hard time. "It will get easier, it will get better, this won''t last forever." That was my mantra in those weeks. Knowing that what I was feeling and going through was normal and would pass was so comforting to me.

I think all the feelings you are having are totally normal and will pass in time. This transition to motherhood is the hardest thing you will ever do, and it is normal and completely okay to feel overwhelmed and to cry. Your hormones are going ballistic too, and that doesn''t help

Let people help you as much as they can, try to get out of the house each day, even if it is just to walk around the block, and feel the healing rays of the sun. Lean on your DH or your friends, call your mom every day. And just keep telling yourself, "I can do this! My daughter is fine and healthy. One step at a time".

BUT watch for the signs of serious PPD. If you are feeling so overwhelmed that you think you can''t cope, if you are having a hard time getting out of bed, if you are crying all the time, and those feelings last more than 2 weeks, then you should seek help, there are lots of resources. Also, if you are having feelings of wanting to hurt yourself or your baby -- morbid fantasies -- then tell someone right away!

{BIG HUGS} It will get better! Come hang out in the newborn thread if you have time now. It really really helps to have others to "talk" to when you are home all day alone.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 7/9/2009 4:47:20 PM
Author:fiery
Did any of you ladies experience pp blues?
I''m also having a hard time bf''ing and I feel like she''s not eating enough even though she''s already back at her birth weight and is peeing/pooping well.

I''m trying to shake it off but its hard.

I just wanted to add that BFing *is* hard in those first weeks, for everyone, and it gets easier and easier. If Sophia is peeing and pooping she is doing great and so are you!! Good work! But those worries never really go away. Hunter is like 16lbs now at 4.5 months and I still worry about him getting enough calories

Despite such concrete evidence.

Perhaps you shouldn''t try to "shake off" the feelings, but rather just accept that it is something you are going through, that will pass? If you give yourself permission to feel bad or to feel whatever you want to feel, then maybe it won''t bother you so much... "This too shall pass" is something I say to myself all the time when I am feeling blue. And it always does!

 

[TravelingGal]

Fiery, yes I did.

First, let me say that I think what you are going through is normal. It sounds like you are obviously still concerned about your baby''s wellbeing and that''s important. I don''t know much about PP Depression, but I have heard that one of the signs is that moms have a hard time caring about the baby.

I am not prone to depression, but I got hit hard the first 5-6 weeks, with the toughest run of it happening during weeks 4-5. I refused help, yet felt sorry for myself that I had to do it alone. Hormones, I tell ya. I wasn''t exactly all there, but thank god the sense of humor was still clinging on.

It''s a crazy fog and I was scared that it wouldn''t lift. I told the story here once of watching the dawn crack through my window and I was so depressed, because there was no end to the day...it just kept going and going, into the night until dawn cracked again. I felt like "Groundhog Day."

I also was overwhelmed sometimes with the weight of the responsibility. Babies are so entirely helpless. It was mind boggling - sometimes mind numbing.

Somewhere along the way, the fog lifted. It happened for me in the 6th week, when we moved her to her crib and she was down at a 7 pm bedtime. Sleep - it''s was a big thing for me.

If you feel it is overwhelming, don''t be afraid to seek help.

 

[Shoopy]

Thank you ladies for the kind words. Sophia is 8 days old and its like in my head I know that its supposed to be hard the first few weeks but its not registering that it actually is hard. She also has her days and nights mixed up which I know is normal for right now. She sleeps all day even though I''ll have her in the living room with me with bright lights and I''m making noise. At night she''s wide awake and won''t go to sleep until 6 or 7am.

Date: 7/9/2009 5:21:54 PM
Author: TravelingGal

I refused help, yet felt sorry for myself that I had to do it alone.

This is something that I''m feeling too. FI had today off from work and has been watching her all day for me so that I can sleep. I felt so guilty that he had to help take care of her even though she''s his daughter too that I couldn''t sleep.

The only time I feel better is when she''s awake and we''re just hanging out (as in not changing her diaper or feeding or trying to put her to sleep).

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/9/2009 5:33:56 PM
Author: fiery
Thank you ladies for the kind words. Sophia is 8 days old and its like in my head I know that its supposed to be hard the first few weeks but its not registering that it actually is hard. She also has her days and nights mixed up which I know is normal for right now. She sleeps all day even though I''ll have her in the living room with me with bright lights and I''m making noise. At night she''s wide awake and won''t go to sleep until 6 or 7am.

Date: 7/9/2009 5:21:54 PM
Author: TravelingGal

I refused help, yet felt sorry for myself that I had to do it alone.

This is something that I''m feeling too. FI had today off from work and has been watching her all day for me so that I can sleep. I felt so guilty that he had to help take care of her even though she''s his daughter too that I couldn''t sleep.

The only time I feel better is when she''s awake and we''re just hanging out (as in not changing her diaper or feeding or trying to put her to sleep).

Fiery it is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and I''ve had to do some hard things. The most difficult thing is not knowing when it is going to end. I wish we could tell you. But it does.

 

[Kaleigh]

Fiery,
This is soooooo normal. Don''t feel guilty about having him watch her for you. Take naps when she does. That helped me, I know it''s hard you want toget stuff done, but seriously sleep is the best thing for you at this time.

Having the days and nights mixed up is so common, you will work that out too.

Your hormones are going crazy right now, be gentle on yourself.... We are here for you!!! HUGS!!!

 

[Pandora II]

Fiery - I spent most of the first two weeks in tears. I howled through a whole breast-feeding class...

My psychiatric team came to see me everyday and were so worried that they upped my medication and had DH moved into the hospital for the rest of the week. Even now I have people come to see my every week to check how I''m doing. The verdict so far is that I had a bad dose of the baby blues but we seem to have staved off PPD so far.

If Sophia is peeing/pooping properly then you are feeding her enough (Daisy didn''t have a single wet nappy for nearly 4 days and didn''t poop for the first week as she was getting ZERO food at all - she was severly dehydrated, went from 8lb 3oz to 7lbs and had electrolyte levels that were very abnormal thanks to the midwives refusing to let me give her formula and not believing that I had no milk. She recovered completely very quickly) - you could always pop her on the kitchen scales and check her weight (any increase is good - doesn''t have to be a lot even 10g is great).

You only need to wake her up if she sleeps more than 5 hours at this age - if she''s sleeping 2-3 hours then just make the most of it!

I truly felt like a complete failure the first weeks and that I would never cope with her - I feel so different now.

Definitely go aand see someone if it goes on much longer, and make sure that your DH knows what to look out for.

My psych. nurse was telling me that most people with PPD become very detached from the baby and completely flat about it. They don''t try to interact and everything is done very mechanically. This is on top of the depressive features of no appetite, sleeping too much or too little, feelings of guilt etc.

It is NORMAL to occasionally think what have I done or to want to throw your baby out of the window on occasion. However if you believe that you might go through with the chucking out the window bit, then you have moved from the normal to the abnormal and should get help.

I really hope you feel better soon, hugs.

 

[sbde]

oh fiery - please don''t feel alone in this!!

you''ve been through such a life-altering experience and your hormones are so out of whack. what you are feeling is totally normal. i cried the entire last day in the hospital, as we were being discharged and on the ride home from the hospital. those first few weeks were so rough emotionally i remember crying when my mom left after 2.5 wks as well, and being unable to even talk on the phone without bawling if someone called me to see how i was doing without mom.

please, just give yourself some time - your DD is only 8 days old! don''t feel like anything is wrong with you, because so many of us have been through this. we are here if you feel the need to vent or just talk it through.

i KNOW you are a wonderful mom!!

*hugs*

 

[Dreamer_D]

Fiery I still have days sometimes where I am exhausted and tired and overwhelmed. I just want "that baby" to leave me alone for 10 minutes! Don't let anyone say otherwise -- being a stay at home mother is the single hardest job out there. With a newborn, you literally work 24 hours per day. Then, when the baby is older, we still work 12 hours a day in a row, and then a couple more at night. What other job is like that?? And on top of that, we don't get enough sleep, adult conversation, or time to ourselves.

Seriously, when you write it out like that, then it becomes clear what a HUGE job being a mother is, and I think even the most hardworking, stubborn, independent woman can see that she needs to let other people take over sometimes. I know I also struggle sometimes with letting DH contribute -- I feel a little guilty about handing Hunter off to him when he gets home, or having him make dinner... but then I remind myself that I have also worked all day and will work more than night, why shouldn't it be equal like that? As a side note, DH has been doing some night duty lately as we ween Hunter off one wake up in the night, and he said the other day, "I am so tired! I don't know how you do it!" So letting them help also allows them to see how hard it really is, which makes them contribute more hopefully.

So do yourself a huge favour and rewrite your script about how things "should" be: you doing it all and not asking for help. Ask for help! Let your FI take over! Sleep, rest, and know you are NOT ALONE!

 

[ChinaCat]

Fiery- No advice/experience obviously, but wanted to say hang in there. I have no doubt that you are a great momma, and Sophia is thriving. I wanted to say thank you for starting this thread, I think it is very helpful to hear this beforehand, and hopefully will give lots of new mommas support. THIS is exactly why when people ask me if I''m excited, I say hell no, I''m scared! But you WILL get through it and it will get easier. Just try to remember that millions of women less lovely, smart and funny as you have done this and made it through- you will too. Hugs.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 7/9/2009 7:06:17 PM
Author: ChinaCat
Fiery- No advice/experience obviously, but wanted to say hang in there. I have no doubt that you are a great momma, and Sophia is thriving. I wanted to say thank you for starting this thread, I think it is very helpful to hear this beforehand, and hopefully will give lots of new mommas support. THIS is exactly why when people ask me if I''m excited, I say hell no, I''m scared! But you WILL get through it and it will get easier. Just try to remember that millions of women less lovely, smart and funny as you have done this and made it through- you will too. Hugs.

LOL! Awesome advice! Thinking of those dumber and more boring that ourselves is always a pick-me-up

 

[atroop711]

so sorry you are going through this. I would def. put a call into your OB. They want you to call them if you think you may have the baby blues. It''s so common and you''re not alone. Big hugs to you.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Oh, ((hugs))....this is so normal. Maybe talking to someone would help? I am sorry you have the baby-blues.

 

[robbie3982]

Fiery, I think I have the baby blues too. I haven''t spent hours crying, but I definitely cry at the drop of a hat. Sometimes it''s because I feel like I''m doing a bad job as a mom, other times it''s because I''m so frustrated or because I feel like time is flying by and Des will be all grown before I know it. I feel like I''ve called the pedi a million times since we''ve come home and I''ve been convinced that something was seriously wrong with Des even more than that. Everything I''ve read says that this is totally normal. It''s if it continues that we need to be worried. I didn''t think I was doing so bad until my friend was over the other day and asked how I was feeling emotionally cause he knew I''d been a mess during pregnancy and was worried about PPD. I said I thought I was doing great and DH just kind of made a face. I was like, oh, ok, or maybe I''m still a basket case.

He definitely wasn''t trying to make me feel bad though and he''s been super supportive.

BFing has definitely been difficult. The left side still hurts so much and I dread when it''s time to feed him on that side.

Des has his days and nights mixed up too.

::hugs::

I''m torn between wishing it would get easier and not wanting time to pass too quickly because I know I''ll miss newborn Des.

 

[Bia]

I'm sorry babe

((((BIG HUGS))))

I don't have advice but just know it will get better, and we're all here for you in the meantime <3

 

[neatfreak]

Fiery it is totally normal girl! It will get better I promise. BFing will get easier if you want to stick with it. The blues will go away. You''ll get more confident in your parenting skills everyday.

Let everyone help you if you can. Hang in there girl!!!!

 

[iluvcarats]

Hi there Fiery
I went through this both times. My OB put me on Prozac both times and it was really helpful. I was completely flat. The second time was worse than the first. Maybe it was the boy hormones, I don''t know. I just remember feeling two dimensional, and as if I was observing my life instead of living in it. For me, the Prozac was essential. I also remember having night sweats, and having to change my clothes 3 or 4 times a night. Once this stopped, and my hormones settled down I felt better. Baby blues are normal, but if you are prone to depression talk to your doc.
Having a newborn is the hardest thing I have ever done, and sleep deprivation is sheer torture. You are not alone. All new moms feel this way. You are doing a great job, and it sounds like she is thriving.
Hang in there, and big (((HUGS))).

 

[packrat]

Hm..I pronounce thee very normal!

Please give yourself more time to adjust..8 days isn''t all that long, and it is a huge change in your life. Nursing was hard for me the first time around too..my nipples got sore and cracked and I''d cringe every time she''d open her mouth. But, it did get better..all of it did. I can''t say specifically when, it just did gradually. I looked at it too, that not only did *I* go thru a lot giving birth and having this change in my life, my daughter did too..she spent 9 months sloshing around not really doing anything-and then she''s got this whole other situation to learn. It''s an adjustment for all of you!

There were times with both kids when I had to just put the baby in the crib and walk away to a different room. You can only be *on* 24/7 for so long before you need to decompress a little.

I notice that I react more now to things that never used to bother me-like what I eat and drink. Lots of sugar/caffeine affect me negatively now, and before the kids came along, it was never a problem. So, I can tell my mood changes if I''ve not been too careful. Same with staying hydrated. Some form of exercise would be a nice idea when your body is ready-it''s a good release..even a walk around the block, like someone mentioned before.

Big hugs to you!! It will get better! And there''s a lot of support on here when you need it!

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Fiery - I am so sorry that you are feeling down, but the upside is is that it''s totally normal. It will get better and you are an excellent mother! I had a touch of PPD and I spent a lot of time crying about nothing and everything all at once. What really helped me was to get away and take some time to myself - even if it was just a longer shower than normal or a chance to do something without the baby in tow. If you have these feelings for more than a little bit (two weeks?) then you need to call your doctor and get some help. Being a mom, especially a first time mom, is hard work but you will be just fine. HUGS!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/9/2009 8:10:56 PM
Author: neatfreak
Fiery it is totally normal girl! It will get better I promise. BFing will get easier if you want to stick with it. The blues will go away. You''ll get more confident in your parenting skills everyday.

Let everyone help you if you can. Hang in there girl!!!!

You do??

Hee hee.

I swear, sometimes I still don''t think I know what I am doing. Wily things, these babies. They coming out of the womb pitchers who can only throw curve balls. Ack!

 

[Sha]

Sorry you''re going through that, fiery... ((HUGS))

 

[Mrs]

I cried a lot when my little girl was 8 days old as well. It''s so hard especially when you''re struggling with BFing. I remember worrying about everything! I second guessed any decision I made and just wanted someone else to take over being the mom... I wish we could all come over and help you!

sending all my support and best wishes for comfort and peace!

Mrs

 

[puffy]

how you are feeling is so normal. you''re probably feeling overwhelmed, tired, you name it, you probably have felt that way at some point in time lately.

everyday will get better, and you are more than capable of doing things for sophia. it seems like it is so easy for people to say, oh just changing diapers and feeding a baby all day, how hard is that? well for all of us who have been there, it is tough, considering how often newborns eat, and then you have to burp, and change their diaper. it just seems like that is all you do all day, and you have no time for yourself to eat, shower, sleep, heck you just want to feel human again. and you will!!

there will most likely be days where it gets really bad, and there will be days where you feel like your old self again. DS is 19 months and there are still days where it gets bad. it''s just something that we go through and you will be back to yourself soon enough. when she is sleeping, try to get some you time or get some rest. in those first few weeks, even 1 hour power nap helped me to feel like i was human again.

sounds like BFing is going well if she is having a good amount of wet diapers.

we are all here for you!!

 

[Sabine]

(((HUGS))) It sounds like you are right on track, Fiery. Please feel free to vent away about how hard it is...maybe getting it all out in writing will help?

 

[LitigatorChick]

I suffered from post-partum anxiety. I was not depressed, so I figured I didn''t have PPD. Instead, I was super anxious and tense and stressed about Miller all the time. It was impacting all parts of my life. It did not stop until I finally got help (medication and therapy).

A year later, I am off the medication and visit my therapist far less. I feel like a different person, free of the cloud of this crushing anxiety.

I tell you this so you know there is help if this starts to be too much. From your doctor and from people like me. Hugs.

 

[mela lu]

I cannot say anything that the brilliant ladies of PS haven''t already said.

Rest, proper nutrition, and a good support system can all help relieve some feelings of PPD. Even if it''s just someone else changing her diaper while you ''gap out'' will help you get through the endless, relentless cycles of "feed, burp, change, soothe, sleep" REPEAT.

It''s not easy. You''re not alone.

Now, OB I''m going to offer up my ''home remedy'' because that''s what I do....haha. Omega 3 fish oils (DHA and EPA) are great to help boost your mood. Try that if you''re not already

we''re here for you!