Wedding Planning a Wedding---How?

[stbfyffe]

Hi everyone, I have been "planning" my wedding fo rhte last year and now that I am really engaged it hit me that I haven''t really been planning anything...is there a list of all the things that you need to do (something more detailed then those that you find in the wedding magazines)

I know that you have to book the ceremony/reception, get a dress for yourself and bridesmaids along with the men and moms, flowers, officiant, music, invitations

What else is there?

 

[kittybean]

If you sign up on theknot.com (it''s free), they will give you a checklist and timeline of what you should do and when you should do it. It has about 200 items on it! There are also some checklist books out there that you can pick up at the bookstore if you want a tangible copy.

One thing I noticed right away that was missing from your list was the photographer/videographer. The good ones book up pretty quickly (so I''ve heard), so start thinking about that as soon as you have a date.

 

[mimzy]

BUDGET and GUESTLIST. those two things will dictate pretty much everything else, so get those established before you do or book anything else!

 

[Independent Gal]

I agree. First you have to sit down with FI and then with the parents, and figure out how much money you have to spend. Then the two of you need to think about what your hopes and expectations are. It helped me to follow a PSer''s advice to make a list of the five things that were most important to me, e.g 1) best possible food 2) dancing 3) having ice cream 4) small enough that I can talk to everyone... whatever it is that will be important to you.

Once you have a sense of the non-negotiables and a sense of the budget, then you can figure out the guest list and then find a venue that fits your budget, your non-negotiables, and your guest list.

After that, you can pick a dress that suits the venue, etc.

Then it''s time to book a florist, photographer, and musicians / dj, as well as a caterer. After that you can fuss about the little things like invitations, make-up etc.

 

[ladyciel]

A great resource I''ve discovered is www.weddingwire.com. As of now it''s free, but they''ve been building so many great new features into it that I suspect they''ll make it a paid site eventually. Some things it includes:

Checklist - This is what made me think of this for you, stbfyffe. Nice detailed checklist, and you can hide things as you finish them (which makes it less overwhelming).

Ideas/vendor info/reviews - not as commercialized as the knot (yet), and it''s always nice to see some fresh content compared to the other wedding sites

Guest list manager - this thing rocks. You can import your guestlist from an excel file, complete with addresses, etc (or just add guests manually), and track almost every piece of info you might care about. Who sent what gift, whether or not you sent a thank you yet, RSVPs, meal choices (which you can customize to your exact options), and on and on. FANTASTIC. Also, your info isn''t trapped. You can export back out every speck of info you put in, and you can do so as an HTML page or excel file. Ok, sorry to ramble on, but it''s the bomb.

Vendor manager - search for or input all of your vendor contact info so you''ll have it in one place.

Budget planner/tracker- Record amounts due, payments you''ve made, when payments are required, etc. Useful for planning your budget, too.

Seating chart maker - take your RSVP''d guests and drag and drop them onto tables (which you can customize, move around, etc).

And on and on. I can''t rave enough about this site. The customer service is really responsive, and they''ve been actively making improvements to the site based on user feedback.

 

[bee*]

I agree that the budget is the first thing that needs to be looked at. After that I think that booking the venue is very important as that will dictate a lot of the planning you need to do.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I agree with what everyone else has said especially mimzy that budget and guestlist are huge. As well as what IG said it''s also important to figure out what is important to you. I know for me it was: Location, Dress, Photography, Videography, Musicians for ceremony, food, etc. If you want a planner book those also tend to have lists of things to do.

 

[Gypsy]

You have some great advice in this thread, I just want to re-iterate that getting everyone who has a say on the same page ASAP is very important. Not just with respect to budget and guestlist (although these are huge) but also about other expectations you, your parents, his parents, and he might have. Indy''s priority list is a great starting point. You and your FI should both make lists and compare them... and then if its something relevant to you... ask your parents to each make a list as well.

As soon as you get an idea of budget and guestlist, do some research to find out how much things cost in your area and how you can meet the priorities and where you need to economize or cut things out and communicate that to your FI (and parents if they get a say). One of the things that can be most frustrating is to have different and out of sinc priorities struggling with one another.

The next thing is to find out what questions you need to ask, what type of information you need to get in order to make an informed decision about vendors and to make a list of possible vendors with pros and cons, costs, and references to make sure you are comparing apples to apples and so forth.

Also keep a certain amount of money in reserve. Unplanned for expenses and unexpected things come up. Like flip flops for the guests, or toiletry baskets in the women''s bathrooms, or 3 pairs of shoes, two veils, and six pairs of earrings... you get my point. To avoid stress on yourself have a cushion in your budget to the extent possible. There are a lot of little expenses in wedding planning that I''ve realized that crop up and having a cushion has really helped... I wish I''d left a bigger cushion honestly.

 

[violet02]

Date: 7/21/2008 12:35:57 AM
Author: Gypsy
You have some great advice in this thread, I just want to re-iterate that getting everyone who has a say on the same page ASAP is very important. Not just with respect to budget and guestlist (although these are huge) but also about other expectations you, your parents, his parents, and he might have. Indy's priority list is a great starting point. You and your FI should both make lists and compare them... and then if its something relevant to you... ask your parents to each make a list as well.

As soon as you get an idea of budget and guestlist, do some research to find out how much things cost in your area and how you can meet the priorities and where you need to economize or cut things out and communicate that to your FI (and parents if they get a say). One of the things that can be most frustrating is to have different and out of sinc priorities struggling with one another.

The next thing is to find out what questions you need to ask, what type of information you need to get in order to make an informed decision about vendors and to make a list of possible vendors with pros and cons, costs, and references to make sure you are comparing apples to apples and so forth.

Also keep a certain amount of money in reserve. Unplanned for expenses and unexpected things come up. Like flip flops for the guests, or toiletry baskets in the women's bathrooms, or 3 pairs of shoes, two veils, and six pairs of earrings... you get my point. To avoid stress on yourself have a cushion in your budget to the extent possible. There are a lot of little expenses in wedding planning that I've realized that crop up and having a cushion has really helped... I wish I'd left a bigger cushion honestly.

Ditto what gypsy said about cushioning your budget. We've managed to cut down our current expenses somewhat but we should have a) stayed in budget a LOT better and b) built in more of a cushion for unforseen expenses. Money can be a real hassle in the process.

And ditto everyone else on budget/guest list. 10 guests for us mean a thousand bucks. Ten less people, one thousand in savings and so on.