Wedding pictures before the wedding?

[musincy]

I''ve been talking to my photographer about doing our bride and groom pictures before the wedding so that we have plenty of time to get lots of great shots. I don''t believe in "bad luck" so I''m not concerned about him seeing me before the wedding for that reason. However, I''m not really sure what to do about this...

I''m leaning towards doing them before the wedding, because FI is my best friend and I''d like to have some quiet moments with him before all of the wedding craziness. I think it might make me a little less nervous too, because I don''t like being the center of attention. It seems like that would be more "us." And, I want to get the most out of the $3000 we''re spending on our photographer.

However, I''m a little concerned about him seeing me before I walk down the aisle. Will I regret not having that special moment later?

Advice would be appreciated... what did you do? Did you regret not waiting to see each other? Did you think it was a good idea to do pictures beforehand?

 

[marchswallowbird]

I would do pics before my ceremony if I could, for exactly the reasons you mentioned. However, my wedding is at 10 in the morning, so no chance of that for me. I would say go for it. He is going to have "that" look on his face when you walk down the aisle and be thinking "this is it!" even if he spent hours with you beforehand taking pictures.

 

[Puppmom]

Our photog made two points about getting photos after instead:

1. you''ll need a some time alone just to get away after the big moment
2. you''ll be more relaxed after than before and that can come across in your photos

if you''re anything like me and WAY stressed out about all the business point 2 is important.

we''ve decided to do all family photos before and the ones of just the two of us after. i don''t think it takes that long. i hope not...i don''t want to miss the whole cocktail hour!

 

[marchswallowbird]

Hmmm, good point, rose! I think you may be right about #2.

 

[KimberlyH]

We took our pictures before the ceremony and it was so nice to get it over with. I wanted to hang out with my hubby and guests, not be photographed while they were waiting for us. It was so nice and I don''t feel like something was missing from our wedding day.

 

[Sabine]

I wish we could have done pictures before the ceremony, but my dh did NOT want to. Plus, we definitely would not have had time (our ceremony was at 3 and we barely had time to get pictures of me with bms and dh with gm separately). Have you considered things like locations? I liked the pictures outside the church better than the ones at the reception, which is why I wish I had pictures of dh and I together there.

 

[mimzy]

Date: 9/17/2008 7:18:23 PM
Author: roseg
Our photog made two points about getting photos after instead:


1. you''ll need a some time alone just to get away after the big moment

2. you''ll be more relaxed after than before and that can come across in your photos

totally agree!

plus, and i know a lot of people don''t care about this, but i want to be married when we have our wedding pictures taken together! i don''t want to look back on them with my grandkids and be like yeah, we weren''t really married yet but...

shrug. just a psychological thing for me!

 

[brooklyngirl]

We''re doing pics before the ceremony. We have at least 4 hours scheduled just for pictures (We''re having a winter wedding in nyc theme to the pictures, and we''re also going to the MTA museum to take pictures in antique subway cars

)

Needless to say, there is no way we could have d one that during the reception. All the married couples in my circle did the same thing.

I still think there will be that moment when you first see each other, and I''m sure it''ll be intense, but it just won''t be at the alter. I''m sure the alter has it''s own moments

.

Our photog also offered to take some shots the day after. I''ll see if we''re up to it. I''ll probably want to do it just so I can wear my dress again

 

[Gwyn]

We will be doing alot of photos before and after, including one with FI and myself.

For me i wanted my make up to be fresh for the photos and I also wanted our first "seeing each other" moment to be private and not in front of alot of people.

Alot of couples who do photos before hand have the whole first sight thing photographed so that there is still that "moment"

Ive seen alot of these pics done really nicely.

FOr me the timing is a big issue, i want the photos and such out of the way so we can kick back and relax sooner after the ceremony.

I never really thought of nerves and such. i guess for me all the stress is more the planning and such. what can you do the day of except just accept whatever comes at you.

Plus...champagne starts at noon and pics are not til 2...i should be relaxed by then LOL

 

[musincy]

Well, our wedding and reception are both at the same country club that has beautiful outdoor locations for pictures, so that''s not an issue. And our wedding isn''t until 6:30pm, but our photographer could arrive as early as 3:30. I don''t really see myself getting stressed about the walk down the aisle, but maybe a few butterfiles... I''m just not sure I want that intimate moment of us first seeing each other to be in front of 100 people. I don''t really like getting emotional in front of people other than FI.

Gwyn, you bring up a good point about makeup. My concern was actually that if I did pictures before, my makeup wouldn''t be fresh for the ceremony! What do you think??

 

[miraclesrule]

If you could ask my daughter one thing she would change about her wedding, she will tell you that she would have talked her husband into seeing her before the ceremony to get the most out of the $$$ we paid for the photographers.

It was the one fight I didn''t win before the wedding and the one that she finally admitted afterward when she saw her proofs. No matter how awesome your photographers are, you are not going to get a lot of great shoots when you are rushed and have to squeeze in all the posed family and bridal party photos and then you have about 15-20 minutes, if you''re lucky, before cocktail hour ends...not to mention that you will be losing light if you are outdoors.

My daughter got married outdoors at 6:00. She is paying extra to get a day after shoot now.

I also think you would be less nervous after having finally seen each other and enjoyed each other and the nerves are gone. That''s what most of my friends tell me who saw each other before the ceremony.

I say that with your wedding time and being in the same place....go with your gut...get the most out of the $$$ you are paying the photographers.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

We''re doing the pics before the ceremony..we''re going to meet in a relatively private area of the garden and have the photographer stand back and catch the moment. We''ll still have it..but it''ll be even more special to me since it''ll be just us.

 

[musincy]

Date: 9/18/2008 1:17:51 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS
We''re doing the pics before the ceremony..we''re going to meet in a relatively private area of the garden and have the photographer stand back and catch the moment. We''ll still have it..but it''ll be even more special to me since it''ll be just us.

That''s how I''m feeling right now. Maybe I should talk to my photographer about doing something like that.

 

[Gwyn]

Date: 9/17/2008 11:21:39 PM
Author: musincy
Well, our wedding and reception are both at the same country club that has beautiful outdoor locations for pictures, so that''s not an issue. And our wedding isn''t until 6:30pm, but our photographer could arrive as early as 3:30. I don''t really see myself getting stressed about the walk down the aisle, but maybe a few butterfiles... I''m just not sure I want that intimate moment of us first seeing each other to be in front of 100 people. I don''t really like getting emotional in front of people other than FI.

Gwyn, you bring up a good point about makeup. My concern was actually that if I did pictures before, my makeup wouldn''t be fresh for the ceremony! What do you think??

Hmm I never even thought about that. I guess I figured the pics are what I will have to remember and people will look at in later years, and those not there, so that was alot more important to me.

Keep in mind however that I am only having 50 people at my wedding (mostly FIs side) and I will not being seeing my side of the family until a seperate cocktail party on the east coast. So, for me, the pics are one of the most important things. At least in terms of me wanting to look fresh and such.

Though, you can always touch up makeup and such, some make up artists even stay a while longer just for that purpose. For a price (everythings for a price lol)

 

[Lynnie]

We are planning to have photos taken before the ceremony. Mainly, it is a time issue for us... the ceremony is at 3pm on the grounds of a historic house (outdoors). According to the contract, we and all the guests must "vacate the premesis" by 4:30. I was afraid that wouldn''t leave enough time, we would be rushed, etc. The reception is at 6pm at a different facility (about a 40 min drive).

I had similar thoughts about possibly regretting it, but like most others said, taking photos before DOES have it''s up-sides:

1. Fresh makeup and hair
2. It will help calm your nerves
3. No need for rushing... you can actually enjoy the cocktail hour!
4. Getting the most out of all that money you shell out for a photog

Sarah, I love, love your suggestion on meeting privately with the photog there already to capture the moment...

 

[Cleopatra]

I wish that DH and I would have taken pictures before the wedding! But DH was adamant about not seeing each other before the ceremony.

It was a wonderful moment, seeing each other for the first time as the doors opened, but I wish we had more personal photographs of just us...

To be honest, I loved the moment, but wish we had the beautiful pictures that I''ve seen others have when they''ve taken pre-ceremony pictures!

 

[galvana]

Hi Musincy
One question, did you already confirm the exact time for her ceremony start and reception start yet? can you adjust them at all?
I thought about having pics before ceremony because i wanted to spend my entire reception with my guests and not off taking pics BUT
i did not want my fiance to see me BEFORE the church - i too wanted his first time seeing me to be when im about to walk down the aisle.
sooo, what we did was spread out the time a little between the church and the reception so we have plenty of time to do pics BEFORE the reception starts.
Do you have this option?
my ceremony is at 230 and the cocktail hour begins at 5- will arrive at 6 and have from 6 to 11 with our guests.
can you do this?

 

[julesbeth]

I am doing mine before the wedding. FI and I are meeting at 3:00PM, exchanging our ''wedding presents'' to each other so the fist moment we see each other is a little more special By 6:00 PM in October the sun will be setting and good shots of Chicago will be hard to capture.

Plus FI and I live together - I mean, whatever! Bad luck be damed!

 

[musincy]

Date: 9/18/2008 12:05:52 PM
Author: galvana
Hi Musincy
One question, did you already confirm the exact time for her ceremony start and reception start yet? can you adjust them at all?
I thought about having pics before ceremony because i wanted to spend my entire reception with my guests and not off taking pics BUT
i did not want my fiance to see me BEFORE the church - i too wanted his first time seeing me to be when im about to walk down the aisle.
sooo, what we did was spread out the time a little between the church and the reception so we have plenty of time to do pics BEFORE the reception starts.
Do you have this option?
my ceremony is at 230 and the cocktail hour begins at 5- will arrive at 6 and have from 6 to 11 with our guests.
can you do this?

Well, we haven''t confirmed exactly, but that''s not an option. Our ceremony and reception are at the same location... so people won''t be leaving. We really have to do them back-to-back, so we have no time in between, except for the cocktail hour. I don''t want to make my guests wait too long.

 

[galvana]

ohhhh i see, tough one then, hmmmmmm - a lot of people DO have the pics before the ceremony for the very reason as yours.
personally, i wouldn''t because i want the first moment to be at the church. thats just me though - if i were having ceremony/reception at same place, I guess I would just use the cocktail hour and some time during reception, its not ideal but i would choose that over him seeing me before church.

I will say that I have NEVER heard someone "regret" having pics done before the church. everyone is usually glad with the decision.
its really up to you and what you really want.... tough one though

 

[buttercup80]

This is one of my BIG things - I have compromised on so many things, but I definitely am not bending on this, despite the fact that SO MANY people are trying to convince me otherwise - I am adamant that I don''t want pics beforehand. . . I know that scheduling becomes more difficult and it may be petty and a minor detail, but I really really want *that* moment when I walk down the aisle. . .

 

[ChargerGrrl]

oh, i SO wish that DH and I had taken pics before the ceremony! I don''t really recall the "first time we saw each other" moment.

I had a rather long trek...there were these grass/stone steps i had to go down to get to the aisle. so instead of "savoring the moment" i was really concentrating on watching my step and not falling (by brother helped me down). once we got to the actual aisle, my 90-year old father walked me down, so then i was concentrating on making sure HE didn''t fall! bottom line, i really didn''t get that special "eye to eye/seeing each other for the first time" moment with my DH as I walked down the aisle. I wish we would''ve seen each other before the ceremony- not just for pics, but for US

 

[HollyS]

You will have that ''special moment''; it will just be private though.

I''m all for pictures before the ceremony; we did it and they are the best shots our photog took.

 

[HollyS]

This is one we took before our walk down the aisle. We used this as our newspaper wedding announcement.

 

[Octavia]

I'd like to take ours beforehand. I just worry about timing because we're having a late-morning ceremony and afternoon reception, so I'm hoping that hair and makeup won't take very long and we can get on with photos. Neither FI nor I are particularly "morning people," so I'm REALLY hoping the wedding-day adrenaline will kick in and get us moving on time!

 

[choro72]

We''ve talked to some photographers, and they are willing to switch Engagement photos for "After Wedding" photos. Kind of like Trash the Dress, without the Trashing. We''re leaning towards doing this. After the ceremony, we will take group pictures with family, and head out to the reception. A week or so later, I''ll put on my dress, FI will wear a suit and take pictures again. Heck, our bridal party are all local, so they might be able to come as well. Some photographers will rent out the "day of" tux for free.