People who only talk about themselves

[4ever]

I let them. I can be anoying but alot of the time I just can''t be arsed talking about myself so i''d rather hear about someone else.

 

[bee*]

Date: 10/14/2009 6:27:47 PM
Author: elrohwen

Date: 10/14/2009 5:48:10 PM

Author: NewEnglandLady

Date: 10/14/2009 5:43:57 PM

Author: MC

It''ll be funny to read the responses here where people answer by talking about themselves.

Haha, my first thought when I read this thread is ''That''s me!''


I have a terrible habit of trying to relate to somebody by talking about my experience (if I have any) instead of just listening. Then I have this moment where I think ''OMG, I''m blabbing about myself now''. So embarrassing.

Ditto. I tend to do this as well!


For the most part it doesn''t bother me if people talk about themselves a lot because I do it too sometimes. I really can''t stand the people who *brag* about themselves though. Talking is one thing, but trying to one up everyone else is annoying. That''s when I really start to tune out.

I do that too NEL!! I always realise just after I do it that I should have just shut up and listened!

I totally agree with you el-I don''t mind someone who talks about themselves, but someone who brags about what they have/what they do constantly drives me up the wall.

 

[oddoneout]

I find it really annoying and try to avoid it.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I try not to do this, but I am a "relater" as well. I have some people that I know really just need someone to listen to them and so I let them ramble as long as they want, but what I can''t deal with is the braggers. "Oh I just bought such-and-such and it cost THIS MUCH and I know it was a lot but I just had to have it and oh did I tell you about my new car/house/tv?" Omg, I really don''t care what you bought, seriously. If I save up for something for a long time, then I feel accomplished and like to tell people I KNOW WILL CARE about it, but the people that can''t have a single conversation without bragging about how much crap costs or what they just got makes me angry and I just stop listening.

 

[soocool]

I either bite my lip from bursting out laughing or screaming in agony. Then I politely smile and walk away as quickly as possible.


ETA: I 've got so much dirt on people from what they told me that it isn't even funny. If I could profit from all this info I could truly be wealthy! Luckily, I can keep my mouth shut and not talk about myself. I only do that here on PS where I can maintain my anonymity and bore all you to sheer death.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Smurfy,

Since you mentioned this is happening while you are at work, I think the best thing to do, and I will admit that it is sometimes hard (even though it shouldn''t be) is to be polite, though direct, and simply say: "I am really sorry, but I am working on a deadline right now, can we talk about this some other time." I did this recently, and it was such a relief when the person left, although it was a bit awkward (although it totally shouldn''t be, right? We are at work!!)

It''s hard for me because I am a total listener. I will listen to people ramble on and on about nonsense and will notice that my mind is wandering to what I need to get done!

 

[dragonfly411]

The only time this really bothers me is if a person can''t express empathy/sympathy for others b/c they have it so much harder, and then go on a tangent about themselves. I listen to my friends, regardless of if they talk about themselves. If I need to vent, I''d like to know they can do the same.

 

[tlh]

Date: 10/14/2009 5:48:10 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady

Date: 10/14/2009 5:43:57 PM
Author: MC
It''ll be funny to read the responses here where people answer by talking about themselves.

Haha, my first thought when I read this thread is ''That''s me!''

I have a terrible habit of trying to relate to somebody by talking about my experience (if I have any) instead of just listening. Then I have this moment where I think ''OMG, I''m blabbing about myself now''. So embarrassing.

HUGE DITTO TO THIS! I feel like I''m trying to one - up people, and I''m not. So it is something I am working on...

Also, I talk about myself, and ramble, when people come up to me that I don''t know very well - and ask "how was xxxx" For example, "how was your weekend?" I''ll often respond with "Fine and yours?" and then they''ll say "Fine." and continue to stand there staring. It makes me soo uncomfortable, and causes me to ramble. Silence with strangers is so uncomforable... esp paired w/ staring!!!

 

[AdiS]

Date: 10/14/2009 5:43:57 PM
Author: MC
It'll be funny to read the responses here where people answer by talking about themselves.

lol, I'll just talk about my grandparents' next door neighbour then. Who're we supposed to talk about?

Honestly, I like talking about myself when people are interested in what I have to say. Can't say I'm a non-stop talker though.

If I don't feel like listening to someone I start looking around, moving slightly away, so I'm not facing the person speaking. This shows them my lack of attention and interest. Unfortunately, most of these egocentric talkers are not very good in recognizing the signs that their interlocutor's brain's switched off so I just interrupt and I tell them I have to go. If it is an interesting and funny person though (even if they're the "me me me" type) I could just listen happily, without trying to get a word in.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 10/15/2009 12:52:26 AM
Author: Haven

Date: 10/14/2009 5:43:57 PM
Author: MC
It''ll be funny to read the responses here where people answer by talking about themselves.

What can people share if not stories from their own personal lives? Unless you are an expert on something (meaning that you have extensive experience or have done academic research on something) all you know about the world, and all of your ideas about it have been shaped by your personal experiences in it.

As for people who gratuitously share information about themselves, and not in a way meant to show that they relate to things but rather to simply just hear themselves talk about themselves, I tune them out. I can do a mean smile-and-nod while daydreaming about something totally unrelated to the self-talker.

There''s a big difference between individuals relating and/or sharing and monologers. One husband of our friend will start up talking about himself, of course, and will do so for an hour NON-STOP and if we even try step in and include (say to relate to his story) he just sits there and waits till we finished, doesn''t acknowledge what we say, and then automatically returns to his speech. Every time we see him it''s like this. It''s a big joke among us. He''s not a "friend," though, but married to one, so we''re stuck for the sake of not offending the friend.

 

[Haven]

MC--I hear ya. That guy sounds like a complete bore.
Isn''t it horrible when friends marry complete bores? I *hate* it that I am then forced to socialize with them!

 

[HollyS]

I have at least 3 (very different) friends like this. (All of them women; what does that say about my gender??) I tend to ignore them unless they are right in front of me. Then I do the "Uh huh. Hmmm. Mmmhmmm." routine.

They NEED their moment. Let them have it. Just remove yourself from easy access, and they''ll have to find someone else to mesmerize most of the time.

 

[T L]

Date: 10/14/2009 5:28:39 PM
Author:Smurfyimproved
We all know one, how do you deal with them?

I find myself blatently nodding along and going ''uh huh....uh huh...oh i see''
lol i''m terrible

''but enough about me...tell me how you feel...about me''

I typically ignore them, or let them make a complete fool of themselves, which they inadvertantly always do. Usually, it''s a sign of insecurity to constantly talk about yourself.

 

[CurlySue]

Date: 10/15/2009 9:30:01 AM
Author: Loves Vintage
Smurfy,

Since you mentioned this is happening while you are at work, I think the best thing to do, and I will admit that it is sometimes hard (even though it shouldn''t be) is to be polite, though direct, and simply say: ''I am really sorry, but I am working on a deadline right now, can we talk about this some other time.'' I did this recently, and it was such a relief when the person left, although it was a bit awkward (although it totally shouldn''t be, right? We are at work!!)

It''s hard for me because I am a total listener. I will listen to people ramble on and on about nonsense and will notice that my mind is wandering to what I need to get done!

Ditto this. In personal situations it''s different, but at work, you can make up your own excuses to break away. I''d say exactly what Loves Vintage suggests next time.

Funny (or possibly sad) story... at a former job, I worked in a cubicle. There was a guy who was FAMOUS for monopolizing anyone and everyone''s time with his stories about his jazz band, his latest problem at his house, his sick dog, his whatever whatever. On and on. And he talked REALLY slowly in a monotonous voice, so it was even more painful than it would have been if he was at least animated and somewhat entertaining.

ANYWAY... you could recognize his voice easily and you could hear him from several cubes away. So a few of us made a pact that if we heard him start up one of his long stories, we''d give the person an easy "out" by going to a desk out of earshot and calling them. That way, they could excuse themselves if they wanted to...

We executed this little escape plan at least a half dozen times, and I''m fairly certain he never knew.

 

[crystalheart1]

Oh Boy... This is the biggest issue with MIL.. The only problem is we are stuck at her or our house ( or vice versa )

hearing about her stories..things that happened to HER going back the last 70 years. We get the same stories over and over.

Also ... she will ask something about you, only to respond on how it relates to a story about her..

Example - I am in the process of selling my house,, she will ask how it is going..
And she will start telling about how her house sale went.. 25 Years ago!!-

She also has a habit of having to top everyone''s story about what happend to her was worse, more dramatic..etc. went through something longer.. She wants everyone to feel sorry for her..actually starts crying about things from childhood ( not sure how valid some stories are )

How do you get out of these situations.. when you are in someone''s home.. I usually just sit there and nod politely

 

[Shoopy]

We did an exercise in high school called "active listening." We were teamed up with a partner and had to share a story. The other person had to actively listen and then repeat the story back. The purpose of the exercise was to break from the habit of listening to a story, waiting until they get to the piece where you can relate your own story, and ignoring the rest.

My ex-friend was a huge "all about me" person. I could be in the middle of saying something and she''ll stop me to tell her story that would often lead into a subject we weren''t even talking about

 

[sparkly_stars]

i try and ignore them, but i guess it depends on the situation.

at work (it has happened recently) i just told the guy that i was really busy.. i mean. he was talking(non stop), the phone would ring for me- i'd get it, i'd hang up, and i didn't even have time to DO anything before he started the stories again! i had to be "rude" and say, listen i need to get the work done so hang on one second please!

apparently that embarrassed him, BLAH!


ETA: cracks me up that i "related" a story in a topic about people talking about themselves! (

here i am, talking about ME!!! hiiii!) okay. that is all. ha ha