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People who only talk about themselves

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Smurfysmiles

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We all know one, how do you deal with them?

I find myself blatently nodding along and going "uh huh....uh huh...oh i see"
lol i''m terrible

"but enough about me...tell me how you feel...about me" :)
 
Ignore them!
 
People love to talk about themselves...that''s just human nature. It doesn''t bother me, at all really. I understand that every relationship I have usually operates with different dynamics...I go with the flow and let my friends be who they are, even if they are all about themselves.

Honestly, life is just so much easier when you don''t "obsess" over the small things--if you don''t like someone because they talk about themselves to much, then phase them out and move on. Is it really worth getting worked up over? Probably not. Surround yourself with people you like--bottom line.
 
I think she asked how to deal with them, not asking if she was obsessing over it or getting worked up.

I think a lot of people do like to talk about themselves, but there are those people who talk about themselves ALL THE TIME. And that''s no fun! If i realize someone is like that, I just stop asking how are you, or what did you do today, and stop talking to them.

They probably won''t ever realize you didn''t ask about them
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I usually encourage the behavior further by asking them to add more detail because I''m mean like that.
 
It''ll be funny to read the responses here where people answer by talking about themselves.
 
Date: 10/14/2009 5:43:57 PM
Author: MC
It''ll be funny to read the responses here where people answer by talking about themselves.
Haha, my first thought when I read this thread is "That''s me!"

I have a terrible habit of trying to relate to somebody by talking about my experience (if I have any) instead of just listening. Then I have this moment where I think "OMG, I''m blabbing about myself now". So embarrassing.
 
lol well i have this coworker who to be blunt, she won''t shut up!!!! I can''t ever get any work done because she''ll corner me in my cubicle and bla bla bla til the sun goes down. I was especially getting annoyed because we move into our new place today and I''m supposed to leave soon, well she comes over when I have about 10 minutes left and starts blabbing and at the end adds oh can you please get this done before you leave and then just walks off...I mean really? Couldn''t she just email me? lol Sorry that''s my moving/wedding/being annoyed stress talking

Ok I''m done talking about myself lol
 
You must have met my mother! I love her, but I have to say, she is the type of person who loves to do all the talking, so sometimes having a conversation with her is a little taxing. If I''m on the phone with her, and she finally asks about what''s going on with me, I''m able to get in about one sentence and then she''ll cut me off with "that''s nice, well, I have to go" and hang up! Oh well, what am I gonna do? She''s my mother, and she''s 84, so I just let her chat away.

Occasionally I have to call a woman who works at the same store as me to discuss something about our schedules or an issue with the store. I feel bad saying this, she''s a nice woman, but I dread calling her because I know that she''ll just start going on about herself, her son, her husband, her nieces, etc. I try to get off the phone as quickly as possible, but it''s not always easy. If I try to talk about myself or my life, she just ignores me and continues talking about herself! Again, what are you gonna do? I''m just pleasant to her, I listen politely, and keep my distance. I''ve known this woman for a long time, our sons played together as kids, but I just avoid her as best I can.

I guess some people aren''t very good listeners!
 
Date: 10/14/2009 5:48:10 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady

Date: 10/14/2009 5:43:57 PM
Author: MC
It''ll be funny to read the responses here where people answer by talking about themselves.
Haha, my first thought when I read this thread is ''That''s me!''

I have a terrible habit of trying to relate to somebody by talking about my experience (if I have any) instead of just listening. Then I have this moment where I think ''OMG, I''m blabbing about myself now''. So embarrassing.
HI:

What an honest response! Bravo! Are you my lost sister-in-law (my hubby is a "relater"
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)

cheers--Sharon
 
Ugh...I find dealing with non-stop talkers really irritating. There''s a lady at work who LOVES to talk about herself non-stop. She just loves when you ask, "how are you?" so that she can rattle on about how awful her day was, the terrible thing that happened to her that day, etc, etc" Now I don''t even ask her - I just sneak by quickly, say a cheery "Hello!" and then walk off briskly, so that she doesn''t even get a chance to talk...heheh.

When she corners me in my office, I usually keep my pen in hand, while shuffling my papers and looking importantly at my work, so that she gets the message that I don''t have time to talk.
 
Date: 10/14/2009 5:48:10 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady

Date: 10/14/2009 5:43:57 PM
Author: MC
It''ll be funny to read the responses here where people answer by talking about themselves.
Haha, my first thought when I read this thread is ''That''s me!''

I have a terrible habit of trying to relate to somebody by talking about my experience (if I have any) instead of just listening. Then I have this moment where I think ''OMG, I''m blabbing about myself now''. So embarrassing.
Ditto. I tend to do this as well!

For the most part it doesn''t bother me if people talk about themselves a lot because I do it too sometimes. I really can''t stand the people who *brag* about themselves though. Talking is one thing, but trying to one up everyone else is annoying. That''s when I really start to tune out.
 
Date: 10/14/2009 6:27:47 PM
Author: elrohwen

Ditto. I tend to do this as well!

For the most part it doesn''t bother me if people talk about themselves a lot because I do it too sometimes. I really can''t stand the people who *brag* about themselves though. Talking is one thing, but trying to one up everyone else is annoying. That''s when I really start to tune out.
ditto!
 
I have been known to get sucked into 3 hour conversations that drive me bonkers because I don''t get a single word in. To avoid such situations I make a mental note to avoid get-togethers that don''t have time constraints (ie. a designated end time) with self-talkers. I once got stuck talking to a friend of mine for 3 hours in our grad school parking lot. To make a long story short, after standing for three hours talking about cervical cancer, and having not eaten in awhile, I literally passed out, ended up in the ER getting 7 stiches, and am left with a one-inch blue scar on my chin. I still don''t know why it''s blue. I''ve definitly learned my lesson.
 
wow i wonder if your friend learned her lesson about talking too much as well lol
maybe you fell on a handicapped paint line? lol
 
Hehe, Snickle, self-talkers.

I''m with NEL. FI and I are both relaters, so our conversations are often endless! When we go to his family''s house, good lord!! It''s like we''ll never leave!!! Now that I''m really comfortable with them, I just drag him out the door.

Dammit, look at me go!
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Date: 10/14/2009 6:40:51 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
wow i wonder if your friend learned her lesson about talking too much as well lol
maybe you fell on a handicapped paint line? lol
HAHA! I sure hope she learned something!
 
Date: 10/14/2009 5:39:56 PM
Author: Starset Princess
I usually encourage the behavior further by asking them to add more detail because I''m mean like that.
I''m sure they are so busy talking about themselves that they dont get it and dive right in with more detail? Right?

I tend to not make eye contact with them
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Date: 10/14/2009 5:48:10 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
Date: 10/14/2009 5:43:57 PM

Author: MC

It''ll be funny to read the responses here where people answer by talking about themselves.

Haha, my first thought when I read this thread is ''That''s me!''


I have a terrible habit of trying to relate to somebody by talking about my experience (if I have any) instead of just listening. Then I have this moment where I think ''OMG, I''m blabbing about myself now''. So embarrassing.

I think there''s a difference between "relaters" as we''re calling them and people who just gratuitously talk about themselves nonstop! I think it''s human nature to try to relate to someone in a conversation, whether it is to offer advice, commiserate, etc. It''s part of having a conversation and I think a lot of people don''t like dead silence so it''s an easy space filler.

People who just like to talk about themselves are another thing in my book. Most of the time I don''t think it is intentional or ill spirited but rather the person is just lonely and wants someone to talk to!
 
The only thing that bothers me about these people is that I have make an effort not to fall asleep....
 
I have a friend like this and I usually just tell her I have to go, the baby needs me, I am going out, I have to do something, etc.

Some people just like to talk about themselves all the time.
 
I do a lot of the "relating" (case in point!) but I don''t generally stand around gabbing about myself. I have a couple family members that you can hardly open your mouth around because of their wonderful ideas and accomplishments and latest compliments. I start with a smile and nod, but it seems to escalate quickly and I progress to the glazed-over-expression. My mom will actually say "you''re not listening anymore, are you?"

For example: I was in the hospital after giving birth to my son. Long wait for a baby, long labor, c-section = lots to talk about. My cousin (who was a close friend) called me at the hospital. She immediately began a narrative about what a great baby-carrier she is and proceeds to tell me that she''s been asked to be a surrogate. Oh, and her boss was in love with her.
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These people NEED something in their lives. I don''t know if it''s acknowledgement, encouragement, support, a friend, but I don''t think they ever grow out of it.

It takes a lot of energy to deal with some people.
 
Date: 10/14/2009 5:48:10 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady


Date: 10/14/2009 5:43:57 PM
Author: MC
It'll be funny to read the responses here where people answer by talking about themselves.
Haha, my first thought when I read this thread is 'That's me!'

I have a terrible habit of trying to relate to somebody by talking about my experience (if I have any) instead of just listening. Then I have this moment where I think 'OMG, I'm blabbing about myself now'. So embarrassing.
Yup.

And there are certain subjects that once I get started I can't stop, until I do, and then am mortified. One of the last times we were at a large family gathering I was discussing special education with an aunt and her boyfriend and my husband stood up and walked out. He went outside w/ my sister and her husband who were hiding from a non-stop talker -- my 88 year old grandmother who has Alzheimer's asked "Does he ever let anyone else get a word in?" it was the most coherent thing she'd said all day-- and said I'd jumped on his wagon. Too funny. In general I'm a great listener and I tend to be quiet, I don't share a lot oabout my personal life, accomplishments, etc., but sometimes I just get going about subjects I feel passionate about and...

I think with rare exception (my husband would be one, he rarely talks at length to anyone, my father is not a talker either) we all talk about ourselves and have bored or annoyed someone.
 
Funny to have this thread today. I have a coworker who is very "me me me" and I spend a lot of time nodding my head and Mmmhhhmmm-ing. When I need a break to roll my eyes and make a face I go around the corner to get something to munch on. Today was a biiiiig day.."I''m so pretty, I''m so thin, I''m so strong, nobody understands what I''M going thru and how it affects ME even tho it really has nothing to do with ME, I will go nuts about it and find a way to make it about ME". Interesting day.

I have fun working w/her but sometimes it gets to be a little much.

And I can relate to being a relater. I''m a story teller too..I need to do actions and facial expressions and make a whole production about it.
 
People talk about what they find interesting. What would be more interesting than what''s going on in your own life?
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Well, hopefully we all lead interesting lives.

I like getting to know people and hearing their stories. Everyone needs someone to talk to every now and then, why not lend them your ear? What could it possibly hurt?
 
OMG....I asked my FI if I talk a lot about myself, he said yes but he likes it. Whats that suppose to mean?

I love to hear others talk about themselves. Its fun especially when you find that they have a lot in common with you.

However, I don''t like when ppl keep nagging about negative things that happen in their life. Know what i mean?
 
Date: 10/14/2009 5:43:57 PM
Author: MC
It''ll be funny to read the responses here where people answer by talking about themselves.
What can people share if not stories from their own personal lives? Unless you are an expert on something (meaning that you have extensive experience or have done academic research on something) all you know about the world, and all of your ideas about it have been shaped by your personal experiences in it.

As for people who gratuitously share information about themselves, and not in a way meant to show that they relate to things but rather to simply just hear themselves talk about themselves, I tune them out. I can do a mean smile-and-nod while daydreaming about something totally unrelated to the self-talker.
 
I have a friend who is like that when she is with her really close friends. They just go on and on and you can''t get a word in.

I don''t mind though. I prefer listening to other people''s stories.
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Although, it sometimes gets a bit unbearable because she is also a story-topper haha.
 
Date: 10/14/2009 9:10:33 PM
Author: packrat
Funny to have this thread today. I have a coworker who is very ''me me me'' and I spend a lot of time nodding my head and Mmmhhhmmm-ing. When I need a break to roll my eyes and make a face I go around the corner to get something to munch on. Today was a biiiiig day..''I''m so pretty, I''m so thin, I''m so strong, nobody understands what I''M going thru and how it affects ME even tho it really has nothing to do with ME, I will go nuts about it and find a way to make it about ME''. Interesting day.


I have fun working w/her but sometimes it gets to be a little much.
I have a friend just like this! I consider myself a story collector, and that''s how I do the most of my learning and planning in terms of navigating through life, but man...!!! When it''s a solid four hours on the phone - and I''m SO not a phone person - of "I mean, I know I''m so pretty, and everyone thinks I''m pretty, and everyone tells me I''m pretty ALL THE TIME" + having to switch ears constantly because my phone is literally on fire from use - suffice it to say, I don''t really speak to her much anymore. Which is a shame, because otherwise she is a really sweet girl.

And I can relate to being a relater. I''m a story teller too..I need to do actions and facial expressions and make a whole production about it.
Clearly I''m also a relater
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Ditto also on making a production of story-telling, I also make strange sound effects
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Date: 10/14/2009 5:28:39 PM
Author:Smurfyimproved
We all know one, how do you deal with them?

I find myself blatently nodding along and going ''uh huh....uh huh...oh i see''
lol i''m terrible

''but enough about me...tell me how you feel...about me'' :)
Hate to say it but just dumped a friend who was like that. I''m all about listeing and wanting to hear about her life, but it occurred to me that she NEVER NEVER ever asked me how I was or what I was up to, etc. It was all about her, her issues, her health, her job, her kids, etc. I started feeling like her therapist.

So I just stopped returning calls. She has not figured it out yet becuase now she leaves me these 5 minute long rambling messages split up over several calls because she gets cut off by the machine or cell phone voice mail and tells me all about her, her, her. I wonder how long it will take her to realize I''m not calling her back.
 
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