People who come over and eat all your food

[Autumnovember]

Okaaaay. I'm gonna get flack for this but I need to vent.

So, I often go home to Philadelphia on the weekends (where my family/friends are) and my mom and I will go to the Russian food store and buy food for me to bring up to North Jersey to eat during the week (my insane program doesn't allow me any time to cook, ANYTHING). This food is pretty expensive. It's meant for me and FI to both eat.

Recently, I have banned FI (not literally) from coming home on the weekends with me because I have been having crazy tests that I need all day/night to study for on weekends. So this results in him staying in North Jersey. So a lot of times, FI will have friends over the house to hang out OR they come back to our place after a night out at the bar. No problem.

HOWEVER, there has been a problem with people eating food when they come over. We literally live 2 minutes from 711. So what ends up happening is that I'll go to make a sandwich during the week and then BAM....meat is gone, my FULL jar of pickles is gone.

Happened once, I was annoyed. Told FI....food we have in the fridge is for US to eat during the week...not for people to stuff their faces with when they're bombed.

THEN! I hid a HUUUUUUGE piece of chocolate because FI loooooves his sweets and I knew he would eat the whole thing in one sitting if it was in plain view. I eat a small piece every morning before school because my mom tells me it gets the brain goin and helps memory (who knows if its true, but I choose to believe it!)

Go to open my hiding spot today....

APPARENTLY it was not good enough because the whole bar of chocolate is gone.

When I asked FI, he told me that his brother was over and loves chocolate and found it and ate it all. W.T.F.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So now I have to play this dumb game and hide it again in a better place when I buy a new one again. Now I can't buy my pickles because clearly there is a pickle lover (like me) that has been coming over and eating my FULL jar of pickles!

I told him AGAIN. Next time it happens, I'm gonna be REALLY pissed.

In the grand scheme of things this problem is very small but I had to vent.

While its kind of funny, it's also KIND OF FREAKIN ANNOYING AND REALLY DAMN RUDE!!! I don't go over peoples houses and eat jars of pickles or whatever else I want!

Vent over.

 

[VRBeauty]

AN - sounds to me like this isn't a "people" problem, it's a "fiance" problem.

 

[Autumnovember]

AN - sounds to me like this isn't a "people" problem, it's a "fiance" problem.

Well, the scary thing is that it actually IS the people who are coming over. I have "spies" (not really but my other friends who are over at the same time have witnessed it themselves).

FI hates pickles.

Could be a FI problem in the sense that he needs to tell them to stop and doesn't. I agree.

 

[Shoopy]

Ditto VR.

I'm trying to put myself in this situation. First, none of our friends would open our fridge without asking and this is despite telling them they can and despite having known them for 10 years+. If they were to find something, I (again putting myself in this situation) would think FI would feel really awkward saying "sorry you can't eat that, it belongs to my fiancee." I think I would feel like a bad hostess too.

Does your FI help replenish the fridge when it starts getting low on food?

Although I hear you on the chocolate thing. Heads would be rolling :p

 

[LadyBlue]

Autum, My take is that it is a Fiance problem, because your Fiance should tell the People that they can not eat your food. He should said this food is for Autum lunch during the week, please don't eat it I mean, if my friends wanted to eat my DH food I would not let them, or I would buy food for my friends if I knew they were going to come to my house.

 

[VRBeauty]

Could be a FI problem in the sense that he needs to tell them to stop and doesn't. I agree.

Bingo!

 

[Autumnovember]

Ditto VR.

I'm trying to put myself in this situation. First, none of our friends would open our fridge without asking and this is despite telling them they can and despite having known them for 10 years+. If they were to find something, I (again putting myself in this situation) would think FI would feel really awkward saying "sorry you can't eat that, it belongs to my fiancee." I think I would feel like a bad hostess too.

Does your FI help replenish the fridge when it starts getting low on food?

Although I hear you on the chocolate thing. Heads would be rolling :p

Usually when I'm home and his friends are over (most of his friends are his brothers actually because there are 7 of them) they open the fridge in front of me too and I guess its my problem too since I have no clue how to say "put the food down." It just happens more when I'm not there. I'm gonna tell fiance again. To be honest, him and his brothers haven't really been taught manners so a lot of times what I see as being "bad manners" he doesn't.

He helps to pay for new food and usually was the one buy all the food but I'm the one who has to actually go out and buy it and when both of us are super tight for time its just annoying all in all.

Even if its food he paid for, its still bugs me...especially when I'm ready for that sandwich/chocolate

I'll give them some credit though, for big occasions when they are coming over and know a lot of people will be over they buy food and bring it over for everyone.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Autum, My take is that it is a Fiance problem, because your Fiance should tell the People that they can not eat your food. He should said this food is for Autum lunch during the week, please don't eat it I mean, if my friends wanted to eat my DH food I would not let them, or I would buy food for my friends if I knew they were going to come to my house.

This totally.

 

[iugurl]

Hmmm... Maybe try putting post-its on your food. Put *autumnnovember's* Monday/Tuesday/whatever lunch or snack. Not that you should HAVE to, in your own house... However, it is really awkward to tell guests not to eat something already in their hands or that they see in the fridge. I would think if a guest saw it was YOUR lunch or whatever, they wouldn't even ASK if they could have it, and if they did your FI could easily see that it was yours, and just say look its autumnovembers food!

 

[Autumnovember]

Hmmm... Maybe try putting post-its on your food. Put *autumnnovember's* Monday/Tuesday/whatever lunch or snack. Not that you should HAVE to, in your own house... However, it is really awkward to tell guests not to eat something already in their hands or that they see in the fridge. I would think if a guest saw it was YOUR lunch or whatever, they wouldn't even ASK if they could have it, and if they did your FI could easily see that it was yours, and just say look its autumnovembers food!

Very good idea!!!! Thank you!

 

[slg47]

Autum, My take is that it is a Fiance problem, because your Fiance should tell the People that they can not eat your food. He should said this food is for Autum lunch during the week, please don't eat it I mean, if my friends wanted to eat my DH food I would not let them, or I would buy food for my friends if I knew they were going to come to my house.

this and the part in bold! he can stock pretzels or wheat thins or popcorn or WHATEVER it is that they can eat so they don't starve and it is not interfering with your lunch!

 

[Haven]

Hmmm... Maybe try putting post-its on your food. Put *autumnnovember's* Monday/Tuesday/whatever lunch or snack. Not that you should HAVE to, in your own house... However, it is really awkward to tell guests not to eat something already in their hands or that they see in the fridge. I would think if a guest saw it was YOUR lunch or whatever, they wouldn't even ASK if they could have it, and if they did your FI could easily see that it was yours, and just say look its autumnovembers food!

This is a great idea.

I would also tell your FI to go out and buy snack food that he knows his friends and brothers will eat. It's obvious that these guys eat whenever they come over, I say it's your FI's responsibility to make sure that there's food around that they can eat without getting into your stash. (If you and FI don't want to feed these people, then I'd say he has to stop inviting them over. A part of having people over is feeding them, especially when they help themselves!)

 

[suchende]

Maybe suggest to your FI that, after a night at the bars, he route everyone through 7-11 to pick up snacks? If I had guests over, I would let them eat my cupboards bare, because that's how I was raised. It seems like the only way to avoid them munching through your food without being confrontational is either have "first line of defense" cheaper snack food already in place, find a way to encourage them to bring their own over, or have a more equitable rotation of "crash pads."

edit: or just ditto haven

 

[Selkie]

You could try one of these remedies: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/08/01/those-heirloom-tomatoes-had-sentimental-value/. (One of my favorite sites.)

 

[movie zombie]

his and hers refrigerators, yours with a lock?

easiest solution, imo.

MoZo

 

[junebug17]

You could try one of these remedies: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/08/01/those-heirloom-tomatoes-had-sentimental-value/. (One of my favorite sites.)

Love it!

You know, notes like that just might work!

I also think either swinging by the 711 before they head to your place, or stocking up beforehand with whatever they seem to like snacking on.

 

[yssie]

I read your post and thought of this right away, I reckon it'd keep the chocolate safe at least

 

[slg47]

I read your post and thought of this right away, I reckon it'd keep the chocolate safe at least

yssie that should go on the things that make me laugh out loud thread

 

[luv2sparkle]

Yssie, that is hilarious!!!

We have faced this issue at our house too! It is frustrating! I label stuff I don't want anyone to eat. I will buy avocados and before
I can use them for a meal they will be gone!! My kids now know not to touch them unless they ask me first. I have come unglued
about it enough times now I guess. I buy them a few days before so they have a chance to ripen perfectly before I want to use them.

It also really bugs me when I plan on having something for lunch the next day and the kids who stay up until 2 am eat it in the
middle of the night. But that is what you get with a big family. I feel your pain.

I would hide the chocolate in my bedroom nightstand. Works for me.

 

[y2kitty]

Ban you FI from having people over until he can ensure they do not eat your food.

 

[decodelighted]

That would be SOOOOO annoying. Its even trickier because most of the "friends" are, in fact, FAMILY. I'm thinking ... maybe get a dorm sized beverage only fridge that you keep stocked for them (or they keep stocked for themselves) PLUS a special cabinet of "guest snacks" that your fiances keeps stocked. The REAL FRIDGE IS OFF LIMITS PERIOD. Tie a freaking ribbon around the doors if you have to!

The other problem is that this is happening when they are buzzed & their impulse control is diminished. When you're drunk you're not thinking so clearly about other people's delicate FEELINGS and lunch plans for next Tuesday, yanno? A "Bring Your Own Snack" policy is a hoot too. You have to CONTRIBUTE something to TAKE anything. Especially for the post-pub-crawl nights.

Good luck!

 

[princesss]

I'd head the issue off before they had a chance to raid the fridge - buy guest-specific snacks and tell FI they need to be on the coffee table ready to eat when the guys come over. Chips, pretzels, pickles, candy, whatever it is that they like. That way they can sit on the couch and not have to raid your fridge. It should only take a few times before they get out of the habit of raiding your fridge (though your FI will have to say something if they head for the fridge, and will have to be the one to get up and get them their drinks instead of letting them open the fridge for them).

 

[decodelighted]

I would hide the chocolate in my bedroom nightstand. Works for me.

With six kids in our family, my Mom had this policy. Only *I* was onto her ... yummmmmmm!

 

[princesss]

I would hide the chocolate in my bedroom nightstand. Works for me.

With six kids in our family, my Mom had this policy. Only *I* was onto her ... yummmmmmm!

Put it in a tampon box. I guarantee guys won't open that!

 

[Jennifer W]

I won't comment on the rights and wrongs of the situation, because other people have put it better than I would, but I can offer you a pretty much failsafe hiding spot for small items of food such as chocolate in a house shared with men. Get a huge, economy pack of tampons and remove them from the box. Put your chocolate or whatever in there, then pile a few tampons back on top to dissuade the more intrepid food hunter.

 

[princesss]

I won't comment on the rights and wrongs of the situation, because other people have put it better than I would, but I can offer you a pretty much failsafe hiding spot for small items of food such as chocolate in a house shared with men. Get a huge, economy pack of tampons and remove them from the box. Put your chocolate or whatever in there, then pile a few tampons back on top to dissuade the more intrepid food hunter.

Great minds, Jennifer. Great minds...

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Jen has an awesome idea for the chocolate!!!


I have nothing to add as this is clearly an issue of how someone was raised (you said the culprits were his brothers so they clearly have a "what's my family's is mine" view of your house). At least they consider you family.....Given that they consider you family, I think you should try your best to be there next time there's a gathering and give them the rules - Stay the eff away from my pickles and touch my chocolate at the risk of castration by soup spoon.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I contradicted myself, apparently I DID have something to add....

 

[dragonfly411]

Jen has an awesome idea for the chocolate!!!


I have nothing to add as this is clearly an issue of how someone was raised (you said the culprits were his brothers so they clearly have a "what's my family's is mine" view of your house). At least they consider you family.....Given that they consider you family, I think you should try your best to be there next time there's a gathering and give them the rules - Stay the eff away from my pickles and touch my chocolate at the risk of castration by soup spoon.

LMFAO!


My addition - What HH said, but leave THAT as a note.

 

[soocool]

First of all I think it is rude for company (friends, family, etc) to blatantly just help themselves to stuff in your fridge without your approval. Your FI needs to teach them some manners (it is not their home, it is yours and FIs)

If you cannot get them or FI to change then perhaps buy yourself a compact (mini) locking refrigerator (I think these are the medical ones) or find a container that you can place a lock on and keep it in the fridge with a warning label (AN's body parts for school).

Believe it or not, I do have a lock for my refrigerator after DD's friends thought they could just help themselves to anything without asking her. They ate the appetizers and dessert I hade made for a dinner party that evening. I chewed them all out and then got the lock and it never happened again. Now they can help themselves to cans of soda and take ice out of the freezer and eat the cookies, treats, etc that I put out for them or they can go to the deli or pizza place less than a mile away and buy themselves something, which they now do.