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Wedding Peeved

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museikchik

museikchik

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 2, 2008
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267
I am soo irritated with my family right now. My parents drove in from Colorado so that my mom could see her neurologist. While she was here I asked if she could help me with wedding stuff. She said sure. Like a month before they got here I contacted her and told her everything I had planned. She is only here for a week and there was only two things I really wanted to do. Sunday 07/13/08 I showed her our wedding venue and I signed the contract. Tomorrow on my birthday we were supposed to try on wedding gowns so that I can get an idea of what I want to buy for my wedding. She told me that my dad would be able to watch my younger siblings while we go try on dresses. Today I find out that my dad has to go to some class and that we have to take my siblings with us. What the hell!!! I love my younger siblings but they are at the age where they can''t go two seconds without annoying each other. My sister is 13, my brother is 10 and my youngest brother is 7. I am the oldest so I am used to doing things as a family and making sacrifices but come on. Not only is it my birthday but who drags little kids to a bridal salon to try on dresses?! I need my mom''s undivided attention to help me pick a dress. I know that I am not going to get that tomorrow. It just totally sucks that I planned this day way in advance and it feels like my mom doesn''t even care that much. I know I shouldn''t feel like this but I totally do. Its hard not to be mad about something I have been looking forward to for soo long. I thought about asking one of my friends if they could babysit for me. She is a stay at home mom but I am afraid they wouldn''t listen to her. I am just mad about this whole thing.
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Oh, that's so unfair... I guess mums get on a roll, and kind of forget just how trying their kids actually are lol. She has to take responsibility for them every where, to the shops, fixing dinner, anyway you know all that because you're part of the family too. Hmm, is it possible for you to farm out a couple of them (at least) to other rellies, like staying at Grandma's, or a family friend's, for the day (or for the entire trip?!)
I guess it depends on the social resources you have around you. Why don't you be upfront and friendly with your mum about it, and see what she can do...she's probably got a network of friends and neighbours that do favours for each other kid wise.
Speak up now!
And all the best picking your wedding dress! I found it very tiring, and confess I signed up for the second dress I tried on!
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ETA: oh, I see she's with you and the day is tomorrow. I think you should call on your friend, at least for the youngest, or, if she is confident, for the two youngest. Perhaps you could park all three in front of a video player for the hours you need? If she is a good friend, that is! lol
 
thought of another couple of (pretty weak, admittedly)ideas:
you said your dad was off to a class. Do they have a creche/ child care/ baby sitting service at his educational facility?
Also, would you consider getting your mum to agree to another visit, just her, on a weekend or something where you can do ''mum-daughter'' stuff like doing the final edit on your bridal wear choice?
That way, you could consider tomorrow''s visit as a ''first instalment'', and get Dad to agree to helping out in a few weeks time. She probably feels a bit slack about the whole thing, but you know dads, he probably just told her about the class at the last minute, whatever, it''s always MUMS fault, isn''t it?!!
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I guess with visiting a neurologist, she''s got a lot on her mind?
Just how important is this class, Dad?
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Hi Lara,
Unfortunately the class is on a military base and there is no way he can take the kids with him. Believe me I already asked. I am more mad at my Dad right now then my mom. The only reason I am mad at my mom is because she doesn''t communicate with my dad (but in this case I personally told him which is why I am soo angry). This is sort of like the first installment, I don''t think I am actually going to find a dress tomorrow but it was supposed to be my time. Ever since my parents got here my mom and I haven''t had a chance to be by ourselves. I was sort of counting on that for tomorrow. Oh well we''ll have to see what happens. Thanks for all of your suggestions though. I would call my friend but she is really religious and very strict (something my siblings are totally not used to). With me they never misbehave because they know better but with my mom it is a different story. I can''t even imagine what they would act like with a stranger.
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Date: 7/16/2008 3:39:19 AM
Author: LaraOnline

I guess with visiting a neurologist, she's got a lot on her mind?
Click to expand...
Hey, I didn't mean for this bit to sound funny, I meant that maybe she was seriously concerned about her health, sorry if that seemed cheeky or flippant. I hope she's okay, and feeling good...
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Perhaps you'll have to bend to the inevitable, and simply *try* to make it a reasonable day.
Have you decided on the 'kind of thing' you're after?
Will you be ready to 'try on'? To be honest, I can't imagine you'll get many more than four dresses on (okay, two, with the kids), so choose those few dresses VERY carefully!! The dress sales people will really encourage you to try on a dress quickly, as it will dramatically help their sale along...but pace yourself.
All those petticoats and fastenings tire very quickly. But, if you ARE trying on, your mum might actually enjoy herself. Will the kids sit tight on a sofa with her and admire their big sister?
She better come back on the train for another weekend, yes?

PS ditch the boys at your religious friend's (has she got an outdoor area? Give them a bunch of activities, warn them of impending death if they misbehave). Have you got a responsible male friend, who could bear to come to your place and take them to the park? What's your boyfriend or his friends like?

Make it a 'big girls only' event. Your little sister might love being included like this!

I would really try to place those boys!
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I agree with getting rid of the boys and taking the sister. Sweet-talk the fiance into watching the boys.

Otherwise, I would suggest not going if your siblings are so horribly behaved that you fear they would be rude to a stranger (your friend). A bridal salon is no place for children like that, especially three of them. Even perfect little angels wouldn''t be happy going, and the salon may even have a policy against children considering the amount of big fluffy white inventory they have in their store.

As Lara said, ask if your mom could schedule another visit to come visit you to go dress shopping. Make it clear to her that it''s not just you wanting to do bride stuff - that you really want the opportunity to be alone with her and enjoy a mother-daughter moment. My mom would EAT THAT UP!

I say cancel the trip today, set up the kids in the backyard or living room with a movie, and relax with a glass of iced tea in the kitchen with your mom. I wish you the happiest of birthdays!!!
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WTH? Since when can''t kids be left with someone strict? Tell them they will behave or they will be grounded (and get your mom on board). Sheesh. I just hate it when kids run the show.
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Aw Miraclesrule, that''s such a nice post!
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Lara: I wish that we could reschedule but my parents aren''t rich in any means and can''t afford to have my mom come out again. I wish I could pay to bring her back later but my FI and I are paying for the entire wedding so my finances are kind of limited right now. My FI is a sweetheart and offered to have the kids play video games here if it was that important to me. He works tonight so he sleeps during the day. I wouldn''t want the kids to be making a ton of noise and for him not to sleep at all (but the thought was nice)

Guilty Pleasure: Thank you for the b-day wishes. We celebrated last night. We watched Kung Fu Panda and went to the Cheesecake Factory, it was awesome.
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purrfectpear: Its not a matter of letting the kids run the show. I just wouldn''t want to dump two kids on my friend at the last second when she already has a 3 year old, a 2 year old and a 3 month baby. She doesn''t let her children watch TV or play video games which is why I think the kids would misbehave because what else is there to do? Especially when you are at someone''s house for six hours.

miraclesrule: Thank you for the b-day wishes. I actually have to swing by the office because I forgot to sign my time card and I would like to get paid next week like everyone else.
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Thanks for all the ideas everyone.
 
style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 301px">Date: 7/16/2008 10:50:04 AM
Author: museikchik
Lara: I wish that we could reschedule but my parents aren''t rich in any means and can''t afford to have my mom come out again. I wish I could pay to bring her back later but my FI and I are paying for the entire wedding so my finances are kind of limited right now. My FI is a sweetheart and offered to have the kids play video games here if it was that important to me. He works tonight so he sleeps during the day. I wouldn''t want the kids to be making a ton of noise and for him not to sleep at all (but the thought was nice)

Guilty Pleasure: Thank you for the b-day wishes. We celebrated last night. We watched Kung Fu Panda and went to the Cheesecake Factory, it was awesome.
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purrfectpear: Its not a matter of letting the kids run the show. I just wouldn''t want to dump two kids on my friend at the last second when she already has a 3 year old, a 2 year old and a 3 month baby. She doesn''t let her children watch TV or play video games which is why I think the kids would misbehave because what else is there to do? Especially when you are at someone''s house for six hours.

miraclesrule: Thank you for the b-day wishes. I actually have to swing by the office because I forgot to sign my time card and I would like to get paid next week like everyone else.
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Thanks for all the ideas everyone.
Click to expand...

Speaking of that....Miss D came over at the end of the day yesterday to hand me the office key and I was on the phone with our Director in Japan, and I asked her what the key was for and she told me. "Muse just quit and gave me the key on her way out"
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My stomach went sour and then she started laughing and said "Just kidding...ahahahahha". I fired her. Again. She''s so fired.
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I am going to be taking a long lunch to get my dress fitted, so text me to let me know when you will be by.

And Muse....let the FI stay up and play video games with the kids. One day isn''t going to kill him and he can get some shut eye on the job tonight....he can get some cover...you know he can.
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As I was reading this, I was hearing my mom's voice in the back of my head saying the one thing she always said to me whenever I thought something related to my younger siblings was unfair:

"You'll understand once you have children of your own."

ETA: Whenever I wanted to do something and my brothers were getting in the way, I'd give them some money and send them off to watch a movie. How long is this dress fitting going to take? Can you take them to the movies? Or, do they have handheld games they could play and you can kind of stick them in a corner somewhere?
 
Pay your friend to babysit and save yourself a lot of stress.
 
i''d leave them with your friend or your FI, too. a lot of bridal salons don''t even allow children, so it''s not even an issue of spending time with your mother and having her attention if they won''t let you in the door! i mean, if the one kid''s 13, she''s probably old enough to keep an eye on the younger ones anyway, so maybe she could keep things enough under control to not have to wake your FI unless it was an emergency? good luck!
 
So we went to the fitting anyway and surprisingly the kids behaved. My mom threatened them with a severe punishment.
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They had been saving for this video game they wanted forever and I had bought it for my little brother (the 10 year old) for his b-day. My mom told them that if they misbehaved that I was going to return the game. Needless to say it worked and I didn''t hear a peep out of them all day. I thanked them for being such good sports about being dragged to a lingerie store and three bridal stores. We were all pretty worn out by the time the day was over but at least now I have an idea of what dresses look good on me.
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Oh, I''m so happy it worked out for you! I hope you had a lovely day with your mum (and sibs)!
 
I''m glad it worked out. Probably not feasable, but if you need another day with your mom, there is a great bridal store in Colorado Springs (I am assuming since you mentioned the military) and there your mom would have the support network for someone to watch the kids.
 
If I can afford to go out there between now and the wedding I just might do that. It would be nice to see what wedding dresses outside this area look like. Thank you for the idea brazen.
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