Passion?

[AppleTeenyToo]

so I''ve mainly been a lurker, until now.. You all seem like such a wonderful supportive community that I thought I''d throw this out there and see what I get back. (I hope I''m posting this in the proper area!)

I''m wondering about passion. Do you still have it with your SO after however many years of marriage/being together? Is it essential in a long term relationship? I ask because I kinda have questions of my own.. I dunno if I''m necessarily looking for advice per se... but maybe some wisdom?

I am 28 years old and have been with my man for almost 3.5 years. We are definitely talking engagement and marriage. Now I''ve never felt head-over-heels-passionately-crazy-can''t-eat-can''t-sleep-in-love with him. And I''ve never felt that kind of energy coming from him either. It''s always been a deep but calm bond with us. Now of course there was that initial excitement and feeling of new love when we first started dating but that has long since worn off.

I''ve been in that "crazy-in-love(or lust?)" kinda situation with other guys and while it''s exhilarating and exciting at the same time I find myself feeling too insecure in that kind of situation and I feel it brings drama.

But at the same time I always pictured there being more passion and fire between myself and the man I marry. Or maybe I''m just too much of a hopeless romantic to acknowledge that in reality those feelings will fade (or calm down) no matter who you chose as your life partner and that it''s a good idea to find someone you share a deep bond and compatibility for when the craziness does fade.

or does me questioning these things mean that I''m not ready to be married?

so what are your experiences with this.. before I start to ramble even more!

 

[AdiS]

Hello and welcome to PS!

There was a recent thread on how to keep the passion alive, you may find it interesting: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/what-things-do-you-and-your-so-do-to-keep-the-passion-alive.121255/

Passion is different to everyone, and every couple has a different dynamics to their relationship. Some happy and solid marriages are based on the deep but calm bond you say you have with your SO and the partners are content and have a wonderful life together.

Others fall deeply and madly in love and the level of physical attraction is immense. These relationships either wear off pretty quick, or they evolve into a passionate love for life.

If I may quote you:
"I always pictured there being more passion and fire between myself and the man I marry. Or maybe I''m just too much of a hopeless romantic to acknowledge that in reality those feelings will fade (or calm down) no matter who you chose as your life partner and that it''s a good idea to find someone you share a deep bond and compatibility for when the craziness does fade"

It''s mostly up to you whether the passion will stay alive or not. Calm down? Sure. Fade? Not necessarily. Hubby and I''ve been together for almost 6 years and we''re still crazy about each other.

No one can really tell you if you''re one of those people who need deep and calm bond or mad, passionate love to have a happy marriage. From your post, however, I get the impression that you''re not too confident of your feelings to your BF and your future together. The only advise I could possibly give is to quote the words of Ben Franklin andmotto of one of the PS members, the wonderful diamondseeker: "When in doubt, don''t."

Good luck and I hope you find out what''s best for you!