Passing Down Your Ring

[Dakota]

Do any of you have plans for your rings when you don't need them anymore/pass away? And if you do, would you consider it a family heirloom at that point?

 

[Timm]

My rings are obviously going to go to my partner when I die, but if we have kids and they are grown up, I'll probably want to give them to them if they want them.

 

[MarlonN]

I know that as special as rings may be to the owner, they may not always be special to someone else of different tastes. I don't intend to do anything with my rings and I'll let those left behind after I pass decide what to do with them.

 

[soxfan]

I consider all of my rings family heirlooms. I had two kids. Astrid (my daughter) will get all of them BUT I would like my son to get one of the rings to propose to his fiancee with IF she has a particular love for one of them. I am sure Astrid will be willing to part with one. Maybe.

I would ask them to then in turn pass them down. As they are all OEC's, they will be REALLY full of history by then!

 

[swingirl]

My jewelry will be passed down evenly between my son and daughter. I hope they will pass the goods down to their children as well. IF I have any grandchildren (and it IS a big "if") I hope they get something and I do not care whether they are my son's children or daughter's children. I also don't care if they sell my stuff and enjoy the money. I will be dead by then anyway.

If I have time to plan and find out neither of my kids want anything, I might sell to a PS member!! That way I'll know someone appreciates and is enjoying it!

 

[soxfan]

If I have time to plan and find out neither of my kids want anything, I might sell to a PS member!! That way I'll know someone appreciates and is enjoying it!

They'll just resell it and buy something else.

 

[Queenie60]

Not sure at this time. I have one daughter and one son. The way I look at it I am wearing and enjoying the money now and they can sell it when I die. My daughter has expressed an interest in my wedding ring. Things to be discussed over the next few years since my children are now young adults.

 

[boerumbiddy]

My three-stone north-south filigree ring is destined for my elder niece, the oldest great-grandchild of the original owner. The other niece gets my ruby avatar ring, which is actually more valuable. They look at them all the time, but I remind them: Not yet! Each of them got a small sapphire from their great aunt's estate as a placeholder.

 

[lambskin]

I have two daughters who are already calling their faves- glad I won't be around to see the fight.

 

[pyramid]

Some feel sad to wear a close relatives ring and others get comfort. Styles are often off from the descendant's taste. Passing them down the male side often means nowadays they leave the family - divorce, sometimes they go down other lines of the family e,g, nieces and then nieces nephews. Does it really matter, live for what you want and forget about it after. Some descendants like jewellery but not in the way you do anyway and it will get left on the side with things standing on it or get chipped, not cleaned etc.
Lots don't have children and don't give it a second thought it was their ring after all and future generations will have their own rings. Marriage is out of fashion some and so are engagement rings, seen as a man owning you but not wearing one himself and yet you are not married yet. Lots of people wear fashion or grey jewellery now too and don't like Victorian looking rings and gemstones and diamonds or shiny metal or yellow gold. Partners are seen as more equal and they have equal matching bands or none at all.

 

[vc10um]

I have two daughters who are already calling their faves- glad I won't be around to see the fight.

Please do your daughters a favor and talk to them each in private about their favorite pieces, and make it known to both of them your intentions after that conversation. My mother has several gorgeous pieces that she has already divvied up between my sister and myself. My sister has already tried to get in on pieces that are supposed to go to me (including the necklace I borrowed and wore when my mother walked me down the aisle at my wedding) but my mother has been firm about who gets what and it is well-documented. (Though I must say, as long as I get that necklace, I could walk away with nothing else just to keep the peace.)

It is MUCH better that these conversations happen NOW then when people have to merely speculate about what you "would have wanted."

To answer the original question...I don't know if I'll even have descendants, so I'm not too concerned.

 

[lambskin]

vc10um- I know, just trying to avoid the fight now as I have attempted to discuss value and they don't seem to get it. For example, my two big pieces are my ER and a colored stone ring=the ER goes to the eldest as a family tradition but the colored stone is her birthstone -Emerald-which would make no sense for the other. I do have the youngest's birthstone ring-it is a peridot. See my problem? To equal out the value the rest of the jewelry goes to the youngest and perhaps a cash settlement out of the estate. They may be in different financial situations by then so they may be able to figure it out.....

 

[Austina]

I'm a great believer in settling things, and putting it in writing. It'll save a world of trouble in the long run, I've seen things like this divide families.

I won't have that problem as I have one child, a son, so unless he gets married and reproduces, I may leave my jewellery to a friends' daughter

On a serious note, we have made our wills (did it as soon as our son was born) and have updated them as we've aged. We have left detailed instructions for our funerals, and also in the event we end up in a persistent vegetative state. It saves our son the ordeal of making the decision, our wishes have been documented so they just have to be carried out. We've even left instructions in the event we're all killed in an accident.

 

[BlingDreams]

My son will most likely get everything. I may give a piece to my goddaughter, but that in itself could cause family fights since I also have nieces but I'm not close to them like I am with my goddaughter.

My Mom pulled my sister and I in to her bedroom at one point in her life, dumped out her jewelry box, and said "Choose". We took turns choosing pieces and that was that! She wanted it done before she died so that there wouldn't be any fighting after she'd passed.