Parents, what age to stay home alone?

[Karl_K]

I will give my opinion later when I have more time, but my first response is to check with your state laws! Illinois is 14, which is so crazy, but I don’t think it is frequently enforced?

If someone complains its enforced to the extent that its refereed to dcfs for investigation which other than a visit and warning doesn't go further usually but sometimes can go off the rails into a hellish time for the family..
If something bad happens causing injury, charges can and have been filled and are very likely to be prosecuted.
So it depends on the dcfs agent and if anyone was injured.

 

[TooPatient]

You know what's sad to me is I think a lot of us who commented about being left home alone as kids were a lot more self sufficient than kids are these days.

Heck now my oldest would probably look at an iron and think it was a cooking device! Tried to have him wash his own sheets but he put too much soap in and I had bubbles pouring out of my front loader. I swear by college he better have all of this down lol!

I took care of my grandparents' house for multiple weeks at a time by the time I was 13. No problem with taking care of the plants, cat, and dog plus writing out checks (left with blank ones signed by Grandma) for the bills, cooking for myself, getting myself to school, and keeping the place cleaned up. Granted, my aunt lived next door and my mom was a block away but I was staying alone for 2-4 weeks at a time! When I was 16, the dog had a serious health issue so I had to take her to the vet (I was driving then) and make decisions about treatment. (Severe bloody diarrhea all over the carpet several times catches attention fast!)

I think you are right about the kids now being, in general, less self sufficient. (BTW, detergent pouches are great at avoiding too much soap...)

 

[tkyasx78]

Things are different now. Kids are coddled. Many adults seem to feel they have the right to stick their noses in everyone else's business. I live less than 2 blocks from the elementary school and the neighbors won't let the kids walk to school because they must be walked or driven even though it is a nice safe neighborhood. Helicopter parents and spoiled kids are everywhere.

Regarding the ages though, it completely depends on the kid. I have met 10 year olds I would trust with young kids for an hour and I have met teens and adults I wouldnt trust with a pet rock.... MY kids were fine at 7 to be left home when I went to the store ( 10-15 minutes for milk etc) 10 or so was old enough to be alone for an hour or 2 and over 12 they really should be able to be ok for a couple hours. IMO NO child under 14 should be left alone while a parent is at work for 8 hours. I had a lot of kids though so they were never " alone "
Once the oldest got to be in high school I always had a teen willing to watch the younger ones if I needed to get some milk or butter or eggs and of course once your kids can drive you send them to the store while you stay home and wait!

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@TooPatient I have never used the detergent pods that is a great solution though, thank you!

 

[Ellen]

My son was 12+ when we started leaving him with the other two, which were 10 and 6.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

My state does not have an age. They leave it to the parents to decide. My daughter is 11 and is left home for an hour or so alone at a time. She is fine and very responsible. She will likely start babysitting soon. I started babysitting at 11 as well.

 

[KristinTech]

Our oldest had a lot of anxiety about being alone at around 10. It worried me as a parent, since it came out of “nowhere,” and she was getting older. We began leaving her for 20-30 minutes on neighborhood walks.

By 12, we were leaving her for 45 minutes to an hour while we went drove to errands nearby. She gained confidence and her anxiety disappeared. This is when I learned that the IL law was 14! I thought that was ridiculous, and I am a textbook Rule Follower. She obviously wasn’t restrained/locked in a closet, she was protected from the elements and had a food source; I doubt the law would be enforced if she happened to be found home alone.

But, anyway! She is a typical first born—we trusted her with the younger ones right away. They were 10 and 7 when she was 12.

Here’s the magic with that: let the younger siblings decide what the oldest (babysitter) will be paid. We would tell our oldest in front of the siblings, “We’re going to give you $5/hour. But if they think you should be paid $8 or $10, you could also earn that.” She made top dollar every time.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@KristinTech, that idea o letting the younger one decide the pay is genius! I'm going to use that next time. Of course knowing my youger one he would use it to his advantage to put my older one through the wringer then give him the lowest pay lol!

 

[KristinTech]

@StephanieLynn The trick is to find the right pay scale and amount of time. I was surprised at the effort that was put forth (and appreciated!) by the oldest and the younger, respectively.