Out of the blue question for meresal!

[mrscushion]

I just read that you are the last of 4 daughters to get married in your family -- wow! First of all, I wish I had a couple of sisters, too. That must be great. But when I read your post I started wondering, did the 4 weddings have pretty similar styles, or very different? Are you getting a lot of advice from your sisters? Is your mom a pro by now? I was just thinking, it would be nice if my family had done a wedding before and somebody would know the steps involved -- because I really don''t and my mom''s wedding (small town, very traditional, lots and lots of relatives she''d barely ever met in her life) was very different from the one I''m envisioning (destination, intimate, very international with guests from around the world, fairly non-traditional, etc.). Anyway, I really hope you don''t mind me asking, I know we haven''t chatted before, but I was just curious.

 

[meresal]

Date: 3/27/2009 8:24:26 PM
Author:mscushion
I just read that you are the last of 4 daughters to get married in your family -- wow! First of all, I wish I had a couple of sisters, too. That must be great. But when I read your post I started wondering, did the 4 weddings have pretty similar styles, or very different? Are you getting a lot of advice from your sisters? Is your mom a pro by now? I was just thinking, it would be nice if my family had done a wedding before and somebody would know the steps involved -- because I really don't and my mom's wedding (small town, very traditional, lots and lots of relatives she'd barely ever met in her life) was very different from the one I'm envisioning (destination, intimate, very international with guests from around the world, fairly non-traditional, etc.). Anyway, I really hope you don't mind me asking, I know we haven't chatted before, but I was just curious.

Ohh, I don't mind at all

There are actually 5 of us. I have a brother as well!! My oldest sister is 16yrs older than me and then the closest sister to me is 9 yrs older. I didn't reall get to "grow-up" with them, since they were so much older, but I do love having a big family.
My oldest sister did her own "thing" in east Texas, (They opened presents at the reception

) LOL... but my other two sister's and mine are very similar. All formal, traditional chruch weddings. However since one was in 97, one was in 2000, and mine is in 09, they are all going to have their own styles. My mom could definitely write a book on it at this point... however, we have come across "unusual" changes. (ie, all the new inserts people use for invitations now

). I could think of a few more, but for the most part, things don't change much. We are also all getting married in our home city, so we still know about the good vendors, and those that fell below par at my sisters friends weddings and such. My mom is the most amazing "planner" and the only one that I would trust to help plan my wedding. Liek you probably read in the other thread, I'm super type A when it comes to "projects", so a random planner just wasn't an option. I'm not good at tursting other people to do things, that I could definitely do myself.

However, since my family had always done the traditional wedding, I was dead set on a DW in Spain (I LOVE Barcelona), and the whole family was really excited. That all changed when I decided to marry a first born. He wants all his friends there, I know his friends can't afford it, and I don't want to pay for them to have a week long vacation... so traditional is was. Needless to say, my parents were a llittle upset at first.

Honestly you can find tons of books on DW help, and I loved all the ideas that I initially saw in the Destination Wedding magazines. I would recommend researching and finding a great Planner in the area that you want to get married, and then, if you can, plan on visiting once before the wedding. My friend had a DW in Cancun, never visitied, and when we got there, it was almost a huge mess. Sooooo stressful. The other thing you could do, is set up a consultation with a plannerin your area, that has planned a DW wedding before, and let them tell you everything you need to take care of. I've seen that some plnner places are doign this now... it's like a better option for girls that want to plan their own wedding, but aren't really sure where to start.

 

[mrscushion]

Hi again, thanks for responding and telling me a little more about your story! Despite the age difference, 4 brothers and sisters really sounds great and as I said before, I would love to have my mom have experience with planning a wedding, although I think that she''ll really get into it anyway and be great at it.

I really love Barcelona, too -- it is hands down one of my favorite cities in the world.

Interesting how you really wanted a DW and ended up compromising with FI. My FI isn''t thrilled about marrying in Europe, either, because some of his childhood friends won''t be able to make it (though we expect a lot of his family and our joint friends to attend). However, if we married near where he''s from in the U.S., the same would be true for me, and since I (as the bride) am from over there and my parents will likely be footing a large part of the bill and they object to a U.S. wedding, I think Europe it is -- and I think it will be lovely. So now I''m looking for a place that he will really love, too and am still exploring my choices.

Thanks for the advice on planners, I was thinking of finding a planner over there but the planner over here with DW experience who can just consult with me on a one-time basis sounds like a really good idea, actually. Thanks!