Wedding Our honeymoon may be put on hold indefinitely

[zoebartlett]

I just got off the phone with my FI. His company had a big meeting with all the employees and the CEO''s news wasn''t great. They''ve recently had lay offs and my FI''s job wasn''t affected but the CEO just announced that more lay offs would most likely continue over the next few weeks or months. My FI has no idea if his job will be spared or not. Apparently it''s the kind of situation where you watch people go into a conference room and wonder whether they''re the ones who are being told that they''re being laid off. You either watch them breathe a sigh of relief when they leave the conference room, or you see the pained look on their faces as you watch them head to their desk to start packing. They''re (the higher-ups who are left) also restructuring the company -- three separate offices across the city are now being combined into only two. For now.

Obviously the best thing we can do at this point is just save as much money as possible in case the worst happens. No house hunting and no honeymoon to look forward to (after we changed our plans and everything). There are certainly worse things than this, I know, but it just stinks that we may be starting our married life this way. Our wedding is in three months and I REALLY hope he doesn''t get the news (if he gets it) right before the wedding. Ugh.

 

[Pandora II]

I''m so sorry!

My FI is in a similar situation. Last year they laid off 47 people out of 50 in his office. He was one of the ones they kept, but due to restructuring didn''t know what to do with him - he was the best paid un-employed person I knew while they sat and thought about it for 7 months.

Eventually he got a transfer to another department last October. In November they announced 10,000 redundancies across the company and we found out his department wasn''t involved in Jan. In Feb they announced another 8,000 and we were supposed to know in June if he is involved or not - yesterday they told them that it will be a strung-out process and they won''t be in the clear until mid-2009.

It is so incredibly stressful living with a sword of damacles above your head like that and I really feel for you and your FI right now.

Sending lots of good wishes and crossed fingers in your direction.

 

[lauralu]

I am so so sorry about this. I know exactly what you are feeling. We have been through 2 lay offs in the last 5 years. The first one we knew was coming. Still difficult, we had just had a baby and we looked at it as a special time he would have with his new little daughter until he found another job. Having her daddy with her 24 7 the first 4 months of her life is time never forgotten or compared.

We put off getting married because we wanted a honeymoon more than a ceremony even. So we said we would wait...It took us a year and a half to get back on our feet from that. Just as we set our wedding date, started ring shopping again, got qualified for a new house and were ready to put our current house on the market. He got layed off again. The company he worked for layed off his entire department.It was a shock to everyone. We are currently climbing back from that.

The stress of not knowing when or if is killer. The stress he will be under working with everyone else who is stressed out about maybe losing their jobs will also take it''s tole. Stay strong, Your plans are all so close. Even if he gets payed off. Hopefully you will still be able to do a downsized honeymoon. It''s not the end of the world. When it''s happening you wonder how you will ever get through it, but you do...eventually everything will work out. It always does. Keep perspective and always remember what your thankful for in your life. Everything...in time....will be fine....good luck to you and again...Iam sorry

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks Pandora and Lauralu. I''m so sorry your FI is going through this Pandora. He won''t know anything until 2009?! That''s a long time to wait around to see what happens. Has he started sending out his resume yet (wait, it''s a CV to you, right?)? Best wishes, truly, to him and you both.

Thank you for your words Lauralu. I''m sorry your husband had to go through that -- once is bad enough but twice! I hesitated about posting since it might have come across as whiny (whiney?). This is certainly not the end of the world, and we are lucky that we have a roof over our heads and things are great otherwise. This may be just a small bump in the road -- we''ll wait and see. I''m just so anxious to move forward with our life, you know? This is certainly not the time to be in my FI''s line of work.

 

[lauralu]

Your not being whinny...this is one of the most difficult times you will have to go thru. Job loss or threatened job loss I think ,is in the top 5 most stressful life events ever. It is so so hard. I learned a lot about us as a couple, myself and a ton about coping and keeping sane during it all. Moving forward with our life was the big one for me to get past. We have yet to have our wedding day. We will though....we have just had to change our time line...sure we could do a quickie at a JP but we don''t want that. We want a ceremony and a honeymoon.
We were not 3 months from our date though like you guys are. We were a yr out and we just have it on hold for now...hang in there and post anytime you feel you need support. This is stressful and you need to be able to vent..

 

[violet02]

Zoe you have all my sympathies. I''m so sorry. I kind of know where you''re coming from right now. We''d decided to forgo our honeymoon to buy a house... now we''re finding out that probably won''t work out for us and in the midst of that we''re re-org''ing our division which brings a lot of nervousness and uncertainty. While that may not mean there are layoffs in our future the stress is definitely there! I''ve been through multiple layoffs as well in my career. Not to steal away from what you''re going through but I know what you mean about how you''re starting out your married life.

I have my fingers crossed for you that your FI isn''t going to lose his job. And laralu and everyone is right, venting and posting and sharing how you''re feeling can really help sometimes.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks so much, Laura and Violet. It''s not a fun place to be and I sympathize with anyone going through uncertain times.

 

[anchor31]

I''m really sorry to hear that. J got laid off for two months when we were looking to get engaged... Wasn''t fun. I can''t imagine if he was laid off now at also about 3 months until the big day...

I hope your FI gets to keep his job! I''ll be praying for you guys.

 

[SuLi]

I''m sorry to read about your FI. It looks like this is happening more and more frequently now that the economy is on shaky ground. I''m keeping my fingers-crossed that things will work out for you and your FI.

 

[bee*]

Sorry to hear that Zoe. Hopefully your FI''s job is safe.

 

[Selkie]

Oh man, that sucks. I hope things turn out OK for him. In the meantime, is he keeping an eye out for other jobs?

 

[jdinsf]

Zoe- I''m so sorry. FIs company is doing rounds of layoffs now too. His job, for now, is safe (he''s in a two year development program that''s funded seperatly)... but it''s a tense situation.

Obviously you are doing everything right- saving money for an emergency fund, etc. Might I also suggest looking into what sort of severance package, if any, your FI''s company is offering... it might also be a good time to look into your health insurance policy (could you add him if you had to?) and/or what sort of health insurance extentions might be available from his current employer in the event of a layoff (in California, laws gaurentee a certain number of months that employers must continue to offer employees health care, albeit at a high price, after a layoff). Finally, has your FI considered polishing the resume and starting to circulate it? Even though it''s a tough market right now, this will be easier to do (less emotional) now than if God forbid something were to happen.

Good luck... and congratulations on your upcoming wedding

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I am so sorry hun!

We''re definitely here for you as you know. ((Hugs)) Sending best wishes your way!

 

[zoebartlett]

Anchor -- thanks for the prayers! We really appreciate it.

SuLi -- thanks for crossing your fingers! Everything may end up just ducky but it''s so hard to tell.

Bee -- thank you!

Selkie -- you bet''cha! He''s looking around on the web for different positions, so hopefully something will pan out soon. I''m not sure if he''s actually sent his resume out to companies yet, but he definitely has his eyes and ears open for good opportunities.

Jsinsf -- thanks so much for the tips! I''m not sure what the laws are in our state regarding health insurance policies/coverage. We''ll look into that.

Sarah -- thank you!

I appreciate your kind thoughts. Who knows, maybe things will work out fine, but it''s best to be prepared in case they don''t.

 

[winston26]

Zoe, I''m sorry to hear about that. Wedding planning is soooo stressful the way it is without having that hanging over your heads so I really do empathize! At least there are 2 of you now so hopefully at least one has income if the other doesn''t....some money always better than none!

 

[Gypsy]

I don''t know how I missed this thread! Zoe honey I''m so sorry. Having the threat of possible job loss hanging over your head at anytime is bad, but combined with planning and paying for a wedding, it''s just horrible. ((HUGS)) for you and your FI. I will pray for his job.

 

[Krissie]

Zoe, I am so sorry to hear this. While all of my friends and I are job-secure for now, I know that can all change in an instant, especially because my job is really financial markets-dependent. It really makes you think. I''ve been paranoid about this since I moved back to the US in January. Wishing you both the best of luck in this crappy economy ...

 

[LegacyGirl]

I hope it all works out

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks Winston! Planning has gone pretty well so far, and if we do have to cancel our honeymoon, it won''t be the end of the world. I''m just bummed.

Gypsy -- thank you! That''s sweet.

Thank you Krissie and Legacy!

 

[miraclesrule]

((((( Zoe ))))))

I feel for ya, like everyone else on this board does.. But then again, I am not like most people.

I have a mantra that I preach (but don''t often live by), that goes a bit like this...

If you knew you only had six months to live, or your FI, what would you do?

And then the last part ...the kicker....

How do you know that you have six months?

I want to say...really badly...plan that Honeymoon anyway