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Our foster cat behaves like DH''s girlfriend and hates me! Should we keep her?

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Aw. That picture is just amazingly adorable. Cats sure are funny critters sometimes! "My" kittyboy- Rat- who bonded with me pretty intensely when DH & I got him as a teeny fluffball- went through a period where he just gave me the hugest cold shoulder and every snuggle he used to have for me, he lavished on DH. This lasted for about a year (and I was really pretty upset by it I have to admit). Rat was reaaallllly pissed at me for adopting O.P., who stole laptime away from Rat. (Although O.P. and Rat love each other to bits- Rat was still jealous of me and wanted to make me PAY.) Eventually when he either decided he had punished me enough, or that he'd realized I would still snuggle him too, not just O.P., he stopped ignoring me. Now he's back to snuggling with me about 80% of the time, and DH about 20%, which is status quo. (Rat is a kneader/drooler- he wants to get up under your chin and purr and nibble and slobber all over your shirt while kneading madly into your hair- he can make you feel pretty, er, used- leap on your lap, molest your neck, and then leap right off when he's done. DH is thrilled I have returned to being the cat-slobber favorite. He was pretty patient with Rat's need to drool, but really- it is a bit icky.)

It really can take cats years to adjust to changes. I betcha she'll warm up to you in time- she's probably still just barely getting over the trauma of the last few months. I think she'll eventually warm up to you, if you keep trying to win her over. If not- well, it does happen sometimes that a cat just decides one human is theirs and that's that. At least you have some other kitties that you can snuggle if that is the case!

Anyway, yeah- I'd definitely keep her. How awesome of you to take her in at all; she really needed a safe haven it sounds like.

HVVS- I had never had two cats that were all into each other's space until we got Rat & O.P. It was Twoo Cat Wuv at first sight with them- seriously, I swear they're gay. Always piled in a heap and licking each other. It is startling since Rat is indifferent to is sister, and tends to hate other cats pretty heartily- but the instant he saw O.P., he was all over him with the licking and sleeping together. I guess cats are like humans- there's other cats that they just fall for. It's super cute to see how attached the two of them are. If one is, say, locked in a room the other will fetch you to rescue.
 
Mei... as in "little sister" in Chinese? :) I have one too! Jie Jie and Mei Mei!
 

I would suggest you keep her. Our older cat Maggie (short for Magdalene because she is a man lover of biblical proportions) was taken in by ILs who called her demon because she dominated the other animals. DH didn''t have any pets at the time so he took her and she fell in love. She is still jealous of me after 6 years and still loves him better. However, after about 2-3 years, she decided my hands were a worthy substitute and she is now very affectionate with me when DH is not around. In fact, she sits in my laps and purrs and paws and makes a fuss when I put on make up everyday after DH goes to work. She will also walk right past him and wake me up when she is lonesome, because of course, she wouldn''t want to bother her beloved DH. I kind of miss the stage you are in!


She will come around if you decide to keep her, but only you can know what is best.
 
Awwww, ZhuZhu - I feel your pain.

DH has a cat that came with him. A red female named Moira and 8 years later, she still hates me. Cranky looks, hissing at my male cat, always sleeping on his side of the bed or laying on him. I''ve tried everything to win her affection to no avail.

She has moments, though, where she head butts me, and all of the nasty looks of the last 8 years are forgotten. I just think some cats are naturally more aloof and take to one human.
 
Date: 4/22/2010 4:09:55 PM
Author: ForteKitty
Mei... as in ''little sister'' in Chinese? :) I have one too! Jie Jie and Mei Mei!

Exactly! Her original owner only took her brother back to home country....
7.gif

Mei is now the second youngest cat in our house, her foster younger sister Nina chases her all day long. :D
 
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