Wedding Oobiecoo....
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Winston,
I'm actually sad about my wedding too...it's been several weeks and although it feels like I'm slowly coming out of it, I'm still sad
about the couple of things that went wrong (nothing big, and just like you, things nobody else noticed)...
that it's over...
that I can't do it over and fix all the little things...
I'm hoping when I get the pictures from the photographer I'll feel better...
What are you feeling?
ETA: I promise not to tell you all the "you should focus on blah blah blah" and "you should be glad that blah blah blah" if you promise to do the same for me
I'm actually sad about my wedding too...it's been several weeks and although it feels like I'm slowly coming out of it, I'm still sad
about the couple of things that went wrong (nothing big, and just like you, things nobody else noticed)...
that it's over...
that I can't do it over and fix all the little things...
I'm hoping when I get the pictures from the photographer I'll feel better...
What are you feeling?
ETA: I promise not to tell you all the "you should focus on blah blah blah" and "you should be glad that blah blah blah" if you promise to do the same for me
Hi Claud,
Glad you wrote. I need to hear a few realistic comments, you know, other than "we got married, weather was perfect, everything went as well as could be expected". Seriously? I'm trying to figure out if that many people had that perfect of a day or if they were oblivious to the things going wrong.
Our weather was bad. We're not just talking rain, we're talking tornados and severe flooding! And part of our reception was on a BOAT with which we had to dock for half of our ride.
Guests claimed to still have liked it anyway.
I was mostly surprised with how stressful it all still seemed to be for us. I was prepared for a few things to go wrong but it was more like something wrong every time we turned around. Even in the car to the reception our cell phones were both ringing constantly---"the photographer just got pulled over for running a red light." No photos in the park for us! "Hello? (my brother) We're lost...for the 2nd time!" Getting off the boat---"um, the window was down on your new car so we put up garbage bags but it's still soaked inside". Lining up for the intro to dinner someone comes flying down the stairs crying hysterically and had to find out what that was about. Get to the reception and there is ONE DJ; we hired TWO. The one that is there is out smoking constantly and barely did a thing. The groomsmen made sex comments in their speeches (nothing horrible but who wants to hear that?). I was thinking the ceremony was just great until Mom complained the photog was in her way the whole time and made such a scene running back and forth up front. DH said "I was just so hot I couldn't wait for it to be over!" That's because the church rep wasn't around AT ALL to even turn the AC on in time! DH's family kept complaining there were no passed hors'd left (plenty of placed but apparently not good enough). I took 2 people to learn how to bustle and no one could figure out 3 loops! I now see my Mom hiked it up to hang from the strings on my corset which looked like CRAP. ok, I'll stop, there's more but no one cares!
Thanks for letting me vent.......AAAGH. Just reading that would make me think someone didn't put much thought into their planning, and I think that's what's most irritating. I spent sooooo much time on every stinking detail! The hardest part is that it's marketed and talked about as "the happiest day of your life!" No pressure there, right? The mere cost of it all made me hyper also. For what we pay those vendors, I deserve and expect top service....and just didn't get it.
As family and friends are finally reassuring me that it really was a wonderful day and I try to cry things out on DH, I was starting to feel better about it. THEN.....I happen across a posting on a personal blog by the assistant photographer. A photo of ME with my dress hiked up and trying to run across the lawn in the rain with the caption under it "So sad. Here is the bride, departing the boat and running for her life to keep everything dry and in tact. The rest of the night was just more of the same- drinks, dancing, cut the cake, blah blah." A posting saying I'm pathetic and it was boring. Of course, that set me back and now I question if people really did have a good time or if they were lying! I just wanted my day to be more memorable to us and our guests than most. I've been to probably 100+ weddings and very few stick out in my mind. I wanted ours to be fun for us and very memorable in a good way for our guests. I'm not sure that was accomplished despite extreme effort and money on my part, so I'm fighting my disappointment. There were many fun, wonderful things that happened, but I need to get rid of the bad memories to focus on the good ones it seems. That and despite all that drama, I'm still sad it's over! I just need to do it again to fix all those things that weren't right. And if it is true that people enjoyed themselves, I'm upset that WE didn't get to be more relaxed!
Share.....vent....tell me what all frustrated you! For me personally it's theraputic to know I'm not the only disappointed bride out there. Maybe Oobie feels the same and will comment if she does. And, no, I won't say "but you married the love of your life and that's all that matters!" If that really were all that mattered, we'd all be married at the courthouse and wear a dress out of our closet, not to mention saving $20k+.
Glad you wrote. I need to hear a few realistic comments, you know, other than "we got married, weather was perfect, everything went as well as could be expected". Seriously? I'm trying to figure out if that many people had that perfect of a day or if they were oblivious to the things going wrong.
Our weather was bad. We're not just talking rain, we're talking tornados and severe flooding! And part of our reception was on a BOAT with which we had to dock for half of our ride.
I was mostly surprised with how stressful it all still seemed to be for us. I was prepared for a few things to go wrong but it was more like something wrong every time we turned around. Even in the car to the reception our cell phones were both ringing constantly---"the photographer just got pulled over for running a red light." No photos in the park for us! "Hello? (my brother) We're lost...for the 2nd time!" Getting off the boat---"um, the window was down on your new car so we put up garbage bags but it's still soaked inside". Lining up for the intro to dinner someone comes flying down the stairs crying hysterically and had to find out what that was about. Get to the reception and there is ONE DJ; we hired TWO. The one that is there is out smoking constantly and barely did a thing. The groomsmen made sex comments in their speeches (nothing horrible but who wants to hear that?). I was thinking the ceremony was just great until Mom complained the photog was in her way the whole time and made such a scene running back and forth up front. DH said "I was just so hot I couldn't wait for it to be over!" That's because the church rep wasn't around AT ALL to even turn the AC on in time! DH's family kept complaining there were no passed hors'd left (plenty of placed but apparently not good enough). I took 2 people to learn how to bustle and no one could figure out 3 loops! I now see my Mom hiked it up to hang from the strings on my corset which looked like CRAP. ok, I'll stop, there's more but no one cares!
Thanks for letting me vent.......AAAGH. Just reading that would make me think someone didn't put much thought into their planning, and I think that's what's most irritating. I spent sooooo much time on every stinking detail! The hardest part is that it's marketed and talked about as "the happiest day of your life!" No pressure there, right? The mere cost of it all made me hyper also. For what we pay those vendors, I deserve and expect top service....and just didn't get it.
As family and friends are finally reassuring me that it really was a wonderful day and I try to cry things out on DH, I was starting to feel better about it. THEN.....I happen across a posting on a personal blog by the assistant photographer. A photo of ME with my dress hiked up and trying to run across the lawn in the rain with the caption under it "So sad. Here is the bride, departing the boat and running for her life to keep everything dry and in tact. The rest of the night was just more of the same- drinks, dancing, cut the cake, blah blah." A posting saying I'm pathetic and it was boring. Of course, that set me back and now I question if people really did have a good time or if they were lying! I just wanted my day to be more memorable to us and our guests than most. I've been to probably 100+ weddings and very few stick out in my mind. I wanted ours to be fun for us and very memorable in a good way for our guests. I'm not sure that was accomplished despite extreme effort and money on my part, so I'm fighting my disappointment. There were many fun, wonderful things that happened, but I need to get rid of the bad memories to focus on the good ones it seems. That and despite all that drama, I'm still sad it's over! I just need to do it again to fix all those things that weren't right. And if it is true that people enjoyed themselves, I'm upset that WE didn't get to be more relaxed!
Share.....vent....tell me what all frustrated you! For me personally it's theraputic to know I'm not the only disappointed bride out there. Maybe Oobie feels the same and will comment if she does. And, no, I won't say "but you married the love of your life and that's all that matters!" If that really were all that mattered, we'd all be married at the courthouse and wear a dress out of our closet, not to mention saving $20k+.
oobiecoo
Ideal_Rock
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Hello! First of all, I cannot believe your photographer would do such a horrible thing by BLOGGING about you, Winston!
I am starting to feel a little better about the wedding. There were definitely some fun and memorable moments so I''m trying to focus on those for now. Getting my professional photos did help because I saw alot of smiling faces and dancing which I don''t remember seeing at the actual wedding. I think it also helps that I plan on having a couple of big fancy parties in the next few years so hopefully those will cancel out the bad parts of the wedding.
I feel like I have "Post Wedding Depression".
I am starting to feel a little better about the wedding. There were definitely some fun and memorable moments so I''m trying to focus on those for now. Getting my professional photos did help because I saw alot of smiling faces and dancing which I don''t remember seeing at the actual wedding. I think it also helps that I plan on having a couple of big fancy parties in the next few years so hopefully those will cancel out the bad parts of the wedding.
I feel like I have "Post Wedding Depression".
Krissie
Brilliant_Rock
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Oh Winston, I am so sorry to hear about your doubts. I''m sure it was a lovely time, but I am also my own worst critic so I can totally understand your doubts. I''m afraid myself that our guests won''t have a good time.
And I cannot BELIEVE that assistant photographer. That really would have upset me. Is there any way you can bring it up to the photographer? Yikes
And I cannot BELIEVE that assistant photographer. That really would have upset me. Is there any way you can bring it up to the photographer? Yikes
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Date: 7/8/2008 12:41:40 AM
Author: winston26
Hi Claud,
Glad you wrote. I need to hear a few realistic comments, you know, other than 'we got married, weather was perfect, everything went as well as could be expected'. Seriously? I'm trying to figure out if that many people had that perfect of a day or if they were oblivious to the things going wrong. I understand! I think it's some people really did have a perfect day, others may be afraid to admit they didn't. And others may not have cared either way, they are more carefree.
Our weather was bad. We're not just talking rain, we're talking tornados and severe flooding! And part of our reception was on a BOAT with which we had to dock for half of our ride.Guests claimed to still have liked it anyway.
I was mostly surprised with how stressful it all still seemed to be for us. I was prepared for a few things to go wrong but it was more like something wrong every time we turned around. Even in the car to the reception our cell phones were both ringing constantly---'the photographer just got pulled over for running a red light.' No photos in the park for us! 'Hello? (my brother) We're lost...for the 2nd time!' Getting off the boat---'um, the window was down on your new car so we put up garbage bags but it's still soaked inside'. Lining up for the intro to dinner someone comes flying down the stairs crying hysterically and had to find out what that was about. Get to the reception and there is ONE DJ; we hired TWO. The one that is there is out smoking constantly and barely did a thing. The groomsmen made sex comments in their speeches (nothing horrible but who wants to hear that?). I was thinking the ceremony was just great until Mom complained the photog was in her way the whole time and made such a scene running back and forth up front. DH said 'I was just so hot I couldn't wait for it to be over!' That's because the church rep wasn't around AT ALL to even turn the AC on in time! DH's family kept complaining there were no passed hors'd left (plenty of placed but apparently not good enough). I took 2 people to learn how to bustle and no one could figure out 3 loops! I now see my Mom hiked it up to hang from the strings on my corset which looked like CRAP. ok, I'll stop, there's more but no one cares!
I'm going to tell you something that's going to make you feel better, I think. I feel the same type of sadness you feel and I had many LESS things go wrong. And I wasn't stressed out that day AT ALL. I had worked so hard and for so long to completely LET GO that day that I was truly oblivious to everything other than the happiness I was feeling inside. A couple of things "registered" that night (i.e., hmmm...the centerpieces have dark green leaves, which I totally said I didn't want! and "hmmmm...the centerpieces don't look so great, they didn't do a great job" and "why are there trays on the table with like 200 olives"? and "why doesn't the DJ speak LOUDER so that people can stop to hear the announcement and LISTEN to the special song we dedicated to our parents that we worked so hard to pick out?") It was things like that - and others - but it was only the NEXT day when I started looking back and realizing all the little things. One that didn't register that night was "why didn't we set the tables up outside?" The WHOLE reason for booking that resort was the awesome view of the rocks and the ocean. And what do we decide? To set the tables INSIDE. In our defense, it had been cold the days up to the wedding (VERY weird for that time of the year in Mexico) but still, our wedding night was beautiful - I feel like someone from the resort (i.e., the coordinator) should have said "are you sure you want the tables inside?"
So I could totally understand why you would feel so sad if you were still feeling stressed the day of - it sounds as if you didn't really get to FULLY enjoy the day.
Thanks for letting me vent.......AAAGH. Just reading that would make me think someone didn't put much thought into their planning, and I think that's what's most irritating. I spent sooooo much time on every stinking detail! The hardest part is that it's marketed and talked about as 'the happiest day of your life!' No pressure there, right? The mere cost of it all made me hyper also. For what we pay those vendors, I deserve and expect top service....and just didn't get it.
I totally agree with you on this too. We worked so hard on all the details and that day, we let go and left it up to the professionals. On some level, I think they failed us. We were at a top notch resort and thought that they would catch every little thing or have the experience to ask the right questions.
As family and friends are finally reassuring me that it really was a wonderful day and I try to cry things out on DH, I was starting to feel better about it. THEN.....I happen across a posting on a personal blog by the assistant photographer. A photo of ME with my dress hiked up and trying to run across the lawn in the rain with the caption under it 'So sad. Here is the bride, departing the boat and running for her life to keep everything dry and in tact. The rest of the night was just more of the same- drinks, dancing, cut the cake, blah blah.' A posting saying I'm pathetic and it was boring. Of course, that set me back and now I question if people really did have a good time or if they were lying! I just wanted my day to be more memorable to us and our guests than most. I've been to probably 100+ weddings and very few stick out in my mind. I wanted ours to be fun for us and very memorable in a good way for our guests. I'm not sure that was accomplished despite extreme effort and money on my part, so I'm fighting my disappointment. There were many fun, wonderful things that happened, but I need to get rid of the bad memories to focus on the good ones it seems. That and despite all that drama, I'm still sad it's over! I just need to do it again to fix all those things that weren't right. And if it is true that people enjoyed themselves, I'm upset that WE didn't get to be more relaxed!
Did you say anything to the assistant photographer? That is so unprofessional and insensitive of her. And what is this post that you ran into into that says you're pathetic and it was boring? Where is this post and do you know who said it?
Share.....vent....tell me what all frustrated you! For me personally it's theraputic to know I'm not the only disappointed bride out there. Maybe Oobie feels the same and will comment if she does. And, no, I won't say 'but you married the love of your life and that's all that matters!' If that really were all that mattered, we'd all be married at the courthouse and wear a dress out of our closet, not to mention saving $20k+.
Winston, I really feel for you because the one thing that I kept saying to my DH is that I would NOT trade fixing all the little things for how I felt inside that night. What do you think it would take for you to work on starting to get over it? For your sake - not because you're not entitled to all that you feel. How does your DH feel, by the way? Does he have some of the same regrets?
I do think it's very likely that most of your guests did have a wonderful time - some people no matter what you do won't have a good time. And like Krissie said, we are our own worst critics. And when do you get your pictures back? I ask because the other day, when my sister was here, she showed me some of her pictures and I was like, "oh, that's what that looked like? That looked nice!" And I did see people dancing outside which I had not rememberd. So that made me feel there is some hope, and I am really looking forward to getting the pictures back from the photographer.
I also agree with Oobiecoo about the couple of big parties to plan for to cancel out the bad parts from the wedding - we're both turning 40 next year so we're thinking of doing something for that. I think there's a bit of ego involved for all us maybe - especially if we're all perfectionists. Bottom line is, you are definitely NOT the only one with regrets.
Um EXCUSE ME
But have you said anything at all to this photographer?????
I would have been on the phone with my attorney.
This seriously pissed me off. I can''t believe she said that. Do you want me to go over there?! Because I haven''t gotten ghettofied since my middle school days but I''ll do it for you!
But have you said anything at all to this photographer?????
I would have been on the phone with my attorney.
This seriously pissed me off. I can''t believe she said that. Do you want me to go over there?! Because I haven''t gotten ghettofied since my middle school days but I''ll do it for you!
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I decided to address the issues with the idiot assistant and her insulting blog with the main photographer since the main photographer is the one we actually hired, paid, and signed the contract with. I told her I was very upset and disappointed and couldn''t imagine SHE would ever blog something like that or at least I hope not. My intent was to instill some serious guilt so she feels like she owes me BIG, not to tick her off. I did not even have any photos yet at that point and have to work with her to design the album and get prints, etc. Then she apologized and said the asst really didn''t mean anything negative by it, just that it was sad the weather was bad and I had to run to keep dry. (Mind you, you can''t make out my face in the photo but still!) I replied that negative or not, she has no legal right to post photos of me on her personal website and had better remove them pronto. Supposedly asst. is on "vacation"?!?!?!? I just sent another one telling her I''m angry they are still on there and then ran a long list with all the "issues" I have with the photos she gave us so far (basically that she didn''t take enough and there are some things she only took one pic of and someone''s eyes were closed). Again, being direct but not overly snotty so I can still stand to work with her. (sigh) We spent a disgusting amount of time picking out the photographer!!!!!!!
For me to get past this, would have been easier without dealing with the bad vendors. Even after the wedding the owner of the DJ company was just a "horse''s a**" as my mom called him and barely gave us anything back, exclaiming his DJ is excellent. We only got some back because he contractually owed us 2 DJs and only 1 showed. His "report" said he approached the bride THREE times to start the 1st dance and I was too busy talking! I never saw him approach me. DH said he saw him standing directly behind me once and was way out of my eyesight, never tapping me on the shoulder. And isn''t the bride supposed to be talking??? He let 4 tables walk out before even starting the dance. I''m so ticked off! grrrrrr Which leads me to another question......the DJ sent us the small check (was definitely all we could get outside of taking him to court because he wouldn''t stop lecturing us about how his DJ did nothing wrong....we even layed the phone down and started walking around the house and he didn''t notice). In the DJ''s letter it says "upon cashing this check, we will consider circumstances resolved. I am requesting that you cease and desist any negative communication in regards to (comp name), in relation to this event." I have not cashed the check yet--I want to make sure I can rip him a new one everywhere I can without him suing me or something. Anyone know for sure?
You asked how DH felt. He is upset about many things as well but definitely not getting to him as much as me. He understood at first and then said he couldn''t deal with my emotions after I got upset AGAIN after the blog, and said I should talk to someone about it like my Mom. Can''t talk to Mom cuz she chipped in for this wedding and also implied I''m being overdramatic. Argh, I don''t have money for therapists and lawyers and would just make me more angry that I''m paying for that on top of everything else. Guess I just need to get it all off my chest and time will eventually melt it away. Maybe I should post the good stuff to remind me what was great. My reception venue was phenomonal as was the food--exceeding expectations even. I''m going to send them a praise-worthy letter with my payment!
Thanks for your support everyone. I so appreciate you telling me your feelings too!
For me to get past this, would have been easier without dealing with the bad vendors. Even after the wedding the owner of the DJ company was just a "horse''s a**" as my mom called him and barely gave us anything back, exclaiming his DJ is excellent. We only got some back because he contractually owed us 2 DJs and only 1 showed. His "report" said he approached the bride THREE times to start the 1st dance and I was too busy talking! I never saw him approach me. DH said he saw him standing directly behind me once and was way out of my eyesight, never tapping me on the shoulder. And isn''t the bride supposed to be talking??? He let 4 tables walk out before even starting the dance. I''m so ticked off! grrrrrr Which leads me to another question......the DJ sent us the small check (was definitely all we could get outside of taking him to court because he wouldn''t stop lecturing us about how his DJ did nothing wrong....we even layed the phone down and started walking around the house and he didn''t notice). In the DJ''s letter it says "upon cashing this check, we will consider circumstances resolved. I am requesting that you cease and desist any negative communication in regards to (comp name), in relation to this event." I have not cashed the check yet--I want to make sure I can rip him a new one everywhere I can without him suing me or something. Anyone know for sure?
You asked how DH felt. He is upset about many things as well but definitely not getting to him as much as me. He understood at first and then said he couldn''t deal with my emotions after I got upset AGAIN after the blog, and said I should talk to someone about it like my Mom. Can''t talk to Mom cuz she chipped in for this wedding and also implied I''m being overdramatic. Argh, I don''t have money for therapists and lawyers and would just make me more angry that I''m paying for that on top of everything else. Guess I just need to get it all off my chest and time will eventually melt it away. Maybe I should post the good stuff to remind me what was great. My reception venue was phenomonal as was the food--exceeding expectations even. I''m going to send them a praise-worthy letter with my payment!
Thanks for your support everyone. I so appreciate you telling me your feelings too!
I should clarify that when I said "a post that said I'm pathetic and it was boring" was just my interpretation of what she posted in the blog. There wasn't a separate post on that--she only wrote what I had in quotes. Some people I know that I showed it to said they didn't take it that way???? I thought it sounded horrible.
Claud, you were married in Mexico right? I imagine that was very difficult to plan and keep on top of vendors in a different country. It's one of the reasons we had ours at home, not that it helped! As long as you were relaxed and happy the day of is what counts in my opinion! You think any of our over analyzing has to do with age? You mentioned turning 40, and I am 36. I swear I was more carefree and laid back when I was 25!
Fiery, you crack me up. Too bad I can't sign my emails to her with your avatar to scare her a little!
Claud, Krissie, Oobie, and Fiery thanks for your support. Seriously! I feel more support from PS sometimes I swear!
Claud, you were married in Mexico right? I imagine that was very difficult to plan and keep on top of vendors in a different country. It's one of the reasons we had ours at home, not that it helped! As long as you were relaxed and happy the day of is what counts in my opinion! You think any of our over analyzing has to do with age? You mentioned turning 40, and I am 36. I swear I was more carefree and laid back when I was 25!
Fiery, you crack me up. Too bad I can't sign my emails to her with your avatar to scare her a little!
Claud, Krissie, Oobie, and Fiery thanks for your support. Seriously! I feel more support from PS sometimes I swear!
purrfectpear
Ideal_Rock
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You mentioned you''d been to 100''s of weddings and you wanted yours to stand out. I can certainly understand that. I think that''s the dream of every bride
But let me ask you this, as a guest were you critical of the weddings you''d been to, or did you just have a good time? My point is that I believe most wedding guests are just so happy to be attending the wedding of their friends that they focus on the bride and groom and their happiness. I''m pretty sure your guests remember the smiles on your faces, your lovely dress, and the fun party after
With the exception of some bride to be''s who may lend a critical eye towards other weddings because they are looking for do''s and don''ts for their own upcoming wedding, I think that any guest who attends a wedding to critique is a bad guest.
Feel free to vent brides, but know that in a few years you will remember the good times - not the few little things that weren''t perfect
But let me ask you this, as a guest were you critical of the weddings you''d been to, or did you just have a good time? My point is that I believe most wedding guests are just so happy to be attending the wedding of their friends that they focus on the bride and groom and their happiness. I''m pretty sure your guests remember the smiles on your faces, your lovely dress, and the fun party after
With the exception of some bride to be''s who may lend a critical eye towards other weddings because they are looking for do''s and don''ts for their own upcoming wedding, I think that any guest who attends a wedding to critique is a bad guest.
Feel free to vent brides, but know that in a few years you will remember the good times - not the few little things that weren''t perfect
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winston - this stood out when I quickely read your post, so I''ll answer this first...I was always overanalytical. I wouldn''t change it, but sometimes it''s a PITA. I think I''m actually getting BETTER with age though - and the ONLY reason I was able to completely LET GO and be oblivious the day of. Yes, we were married in Mexico, and it had its own pros and cons. I was dealing with people from far away and so I couldn''t go and see their work beforehand, etc. On the other hand, like someone else mentioned, I didn''t worry about details like having the perfect table linens, etc. So I think in some ways it was less planning.
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winston - I think a combination of talking about it and not trying to bury your negative feelings but also forcing yourself to acknowledge what was good will help.
I am glad to hear you''re dealing with the photographer''s assistant issue but that you''re being smart/strategic so as to not piss them off until you get the pictures.
I don''t have advice on the posting negative comments about the DJ company - but just be careful - it does say "cease and desist any negative communication"...
I am glad to hear you''re dealing with the photographer''s assistant issue but that you''re being smart/strategic so as to not piss them off until you get the pictures.
I don''t have advice on the posting negative comments about the DJ company - but just be careful - it does say "cease and desist any negative communication"...
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Hi Claud! I''m doing ok. I think 
For some reason I found it fun to rank my vendors on my white board at work. I made my male coworker rank them first....ie we were bored, but it was fun to get his take on how it went. I showed him the blog of the assistant (STILL ON THERE!) and he then said the photog deserved a score of Z- (F not being bad enough). ha ha I''m starting to feel like I should ask the main photographer for some kind of compensation (for numerous instances of grief), but am not sure when the best time would be for that. She posted her pics online but not the assistant''s. Should I wait until after she gives me everything or hit her up sooner, like now while the pic and comments are still on the blog?
How are you feeling?? When do you get your pro pics?
For some reason I found it fun to rank my vendors on my white board at work. I made my male coworker rank them first....ie we were bored, but it was fun to get his take on how it went. I showed him the blog of the assistant (STILL ON THERE!) and he then said the photog deserved a score of Z- (F not being bad enough). ha ha I''m starting to feel like I should ask the main photographer for some kind of compensation (for numerous instances of grief), but am not sure when the best time would be for that. She posted her pics online but not the assistant''s. Should I wait until after she gives me everything or hit her up sooner, like now while the pic and comments are still on the blog?
How are you feeling?? When do you get your pro pics?
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- 4,750
Winston, a score of Z seems about right!
I am in the same boat with my photographer - although our issue is a lot smaller, we know we need to thread (sp?) carefully because he has control of our memories! Just FYI, our issue with him is that he stayed an extra half hour past his contract time - I'm at the wedding, OBLIVIOUS, and all of the sudden it dawned on me like, shouldn't the photographer be done? Thankfully at least I realized it...when I questioned him, he gave the reasons why he had stayed, but regardless, he should have given us a choice. I think he should have approached me or my FI and told us "it's time to go - I didn't capture a b c because of reasons x y z - would you like me to stay?" or whatever. So he asks me if I could pay him the balance then and there because he's leaving for Cancun the next day and that instead of charging us the half hour would I consider a tip. I didn't realize it at the time, as I promptly went and chased FI for his cc, which he happened to have on him - anyway, when I started thinking about what had happend, all this did NOT sit well with me. I think the pictures will be beautiful, and that as soon as we see them whatever we're feeling about that will be disminished - but the whole thing rubbed me the wrong way. Not only that I had to DEAL with even thinking about payment during my reception, but that he suggested a tip, and that he wanted to charge us 1/2 hour when he took time to take a break and eat, and never gave me the choice as to whether I wanted them to stay (not to mention at his rates a half hour was nothing to sneeze at). We mentioned all of the above to our coordinator the next day who went back and told him so I hope he's not feeling resentful and ends up putting less effort into our pictures. We were supposed to already have them but don't yet - I think we'll just leave it alone so as to not cause any more potential tension if he indeed is feeling resentful.
As far as what to do with yours...I would probably wait until you get your pictures. I might send another e-mail and ask when the assistant will be back from vacation, as you keep going to the blog every couple of days hoping the pictures and comments would have come down, but that they haven't yet.
I'm starting to feel better, slowly but surely...if you want to see a post that describes where I'm at, see indypitty's thread (the one titled claudinam)...I just started writing and a lot of my thoughts/feelings came out pretty naturally...ETA: plus, you get to see my kitty
I am in the same boat with my photographer - although our issue is a lot smaller, we know we need to thread (sp?) carefully because he has control of our memories! Just FYI, our issue with him is that he stayed an extra half hour past his contract time - I'm at the wedding, OBLIVIOUS, and all of the sudden it dawned on me like, shouldn't the photographer be done? Thankfully at least I realized it...when I questioned him, he gave the reasons why he had stayed, but regardless, he should have given us a choice. I think he should have approached me or my FI and told us "it's time to go - I didn't capture a b c because of reasons x y z - would you like me to stay?" or whatever. So he asks me if I could pay him the balance then and there because he's leaving for Cancun the next day and that instead of charging us the half hour would I consider a tip. I didn't realize it at the time, as I promptly went and chased FI for his cc, which he happened to have on him - anyway, when I started thinking about what had happend, all this did NOT sit well with me. I think the pictures will be beautiful, and that as soon as we see them whatever we're feeling about that will be disminished - but the whole thing rubbed me the wrong way. Not only that I had to DEAL with even thinking about payment during my reception, but that he suggested a tip, and that he wanted to charge us 1/2 hour when he took time to take a break and eat, and never gave me the choice as to whether I wanted them to stay (not to mention at his rates a half hour was nothing to sneeze at). We mentioned all of the above to our coordinator the next day who went back and told him so I hope he's not feeling resentful and ends up putting less effort into our pictures. We were supposed to already have them but don't yet - I think we'll just leave it alone so as to not cause any more potential tension if he indeed is feeling resentful.
As far as what to do with yours...I would probably wait until you get your pictures. I might send another e-mail and ask when the assistant will be back from vacation, as you keep going to the blog every couple of days hoping the pictures and comments would have come down, but that they haven't yet.
I'm starting to feel better, slowly but surely...if you want to see a post that describes where I'm at, see indypitty's thread (the one titled claudinam)...I just started writing and a lot of my thoughts/feelings came out pretty naturally...ETA: plus, you get to see my kitty
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2006
- Messages
- 4,750
hi Claud, I was just thinking about you.
The assistant finally removed my photo this week! I read on the main photographer''s blog now that they moved to a different state (which I knew), are looking for a houses, and now something about being on vacation in UT and then to her parent''s in WA. That''s all fine except she owes us the rest of our photos this Saturday. I''m not so worried about that as I am wondering how much time she put into them considering she''s had no time!! I still feel like she owes me on top of it so I''m not sure what I''ll do about it.
I am totally jealous of Facetfire''s photos though! Beautiful and exactly what we wanted (esp since we also had a boat cruise), but we didn''t get anything near as cool.
How are you doing?
The assistant finally removed my photo this week! I read on the main photographer''s blog now that they moved to a different state (which I knew), are looking for a houses, and now something about being on vacation in UT and then to her parent''s in WA. That''s all fine except she owes us the rest of our photos this Saturday. I''m not so worried about that as I am wondering how much time she put into them considering she''s had no time!! I still feel like she owes me on top of it so I''m not sure what I''ll do about it.
I am totally jealous of Facetfire''s photos though! Beautiful and exactly what we wanted (esp since we also had a boat cruise), but we didn''t get anything near as cool.
How are you doing?
SarahLovesJS
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2008
- Messages
- 5,206
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2006
- Messages
- 4,750
Hi winston!
I am SO glad those pictures are finally down.
Your pictures are due tomorrow...I hope they come out great and that you are really happy with them. I''m thinking there were probably a lot of shots you don''t even realize she captured. Hopefully. Let us know.
I''m doing good...the photographer said we should have our pictures soon. Definitely feeling better about the wedding, it''s like the bad things are receding into the memory bank, little by little.
How are you doing? Are you starting to feel that way too or are the bad details still close to the heart?
I am SO glad those pictures are finally down.
Your pictures are due tomorrow...I hope they come out great and that you are really happy with them. I''m thinking there were probably a lot of shots you don''t even realize she captured. Hopefully. Let us know.
I''m doing good...the photographer said we should have our pictures soon. Definitely feeling better about the wedding, it''s like the bad things are receding into the memory bank, little by little.
How are you doing? Are you starting to feel that way too or are the bad details still close to the heart?
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